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Posted by: Texas Proud

Just a word to your guys... if you lady has children...

IF you do not think of them as YOURS... you are in trouble....

I remember getting this look that could kill when we were in Egypt and someone said something about 'my kids'.... I said, they are not mine... being honest as I am.... I got the look... and later that night got 'the talk'.... and I am not even married!!!!

If you are not ready to be a complete family... and you the DAD, don't get someone with kids... stay without children or have your own.... just my 2 cents...

Posted by: TheWongs

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud

Just a word to your guys... if you lady has children...

IF you do not think of them as YOURS... you are in trouble....

I remember getting this look that could kill when we were in Egypt and someone said something about 'my kids'.... I said, they are not mine... being honest as I am.... I got the look... and later that night got 'the talk'.... and I am not even married!!!!

If you are not ready to be a complete family... and you the DAD, don't get someone with kids... stay without children or have your own.... just my 2 cents...

Makes a LOT of sense!!

I know someone who is married to a Russian lady. They have a daughter, but he refuses to accept her as his own. He says "I married ******, not her daughter". I know this is going to bite him back some day!

I look upon Larisa's sons as my family. Last week, there was a problem with one of them and when Larisa told me on the phone, I was almost in tears with her! I felt like it was a big problem within MY family and felt helpless. I wanted to be there to sort it out.

Posted by: martin3030

I agree.In accepting any woman with kids you have to accept them as one because the kids are a part of HER.

I personally think its much easier for guys who have had kids before (although by easy I dont mean its impossible without)

I have lived with 2 previous parners who have had children from previous marriages but you just have to do your best-in my experience the potential problems come not from the kids or your new partner-but from the ex partners and even children from the other sides.

Its a great learning curve and can increase your parenting skills no end-but the satisfaction at the end of it cannot be measured.

I dont think theres distinctions whether the kids are English Russian or Ukranian or whatever-the Father instinct takes over...regardless.

If there is no acceptance there from the begining then it bodes for disaster-kids dont forget-and even if its not obvious to them immediately any mother would spot this fairly quickly.

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

They have arrived!

Well the girls arrived on time last Wednesday, a slight hiccup enroute in Copenhagen regarding Schengans but other than that, but all went very well. The last few days we have been looking around the area, I have two women now looking after me and treating me like a king

and Ira is rustling up 3 cooked meals a day, I have smells coming from the kitchen that make me feel I am back at the inlaws in Ukraine. She makes a couple of pork chops last 3 meals, unbelievable and won't let me spend anything unless we absolutely need it.

Congratulations Chris! I wish you all the happiness in the world.

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheWongs

Wow! What an attitude!! That is going to come back and bite him in the butt bigtime!!!

Posted by: Chrismc

Thanks Goforit

Posted by: Chrismc

Well Nata started school yesterday, she loved it and said it is much better than her old Ukranian school, and she will now stay in England

Her first lesson was 2 hours at the swimming pool so that went down really well, then she had mathematics in the afternoon and another lesson or two, we don't know what they were because she told us the teacher spoke about all sorts of things and she understood none of it, so all is fine

She has gone back this morning, looking forward to not understanding more lessons

Posted by: blucatz

I didn't understand allot of things my teacher said, and I know the language.....LOL

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucatz

I didn't understand allot of things my teacher said, and I know the language.....LOL

me too

Posted by: vic2012

Just wait Chris. Ilya hardly spoke for three months, then he started to come out with phrases he obviously picked up in school. The latest, when I saw him sulking the other day was, "I'm cross with you Dad".

You dont know how wonderful it sounds till you hear it. BTW he dropped Victor after about four months. Its been Dad ever since!

Happy days!!

Posted by: Chrismc

Great to hear from you again Vic, well Nata is doing just fine and comes out with sentences now in English that astound me at times, the other day I did something wrong and out of the blue she said Naaaaughty Daddy

usually she says good daddy

she now says naaaaughtyu mummy also, rather more than naughty daddy thank goodness

it sounds so cute from her with her Ukrainian accent.

Interestingly I received a great email from Martyn today (Bingism) and he has read this thread and made some great comments in his email about his experiences of kids learning English, I have asked him if I can post them here for all to see, as it would put to rest some other guys worries about their step children learning English.

Chris

Posted by: vic2012

Its just so wonderful to watch them improve. I am just amazed at how Ilya talks to mum in Russian then turns to me and speaks in fluent English, with barely a pause for breath.

I moved to Lowestoft recently and now I run Ilya into school in Beccles every day, about 10 miles. When I told them that, we would be looking for a local school next term, they were so disappointed. Apparantly, Ilya is one of the most popular kids at school. I found myself beng implored by various teachers to let him stay on.
Well I'm working there, so its no great problem.

Chris...it just gets better and better. Enjoy the experience, I wouldn't have missed it for the world. We are so lucky you know!

Posted by: Chillidog

Chris,

I am so happy for you and how everything is falling into place and working out for you. I love the little tid bits and insights you give and continully wishing you all the best and a lifetime of happiness.

Keep posting, you and your family are an inspiration to all (whether we have married or are still searching)

Posted by: Chrismc

Thanks Vic, yes life is wonderful at home, Nata is also very poular at schoopl and already has friends running to meet her in the mornings, I think it is the novelty of it all really, but who knows, she also does the double speach thing and is sure makes her learn quickly, she is picking up English at a rapid rate, I got an email from Martyn again today, see below.

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chillidog

Chris,

I am so happy for you and how everything is falling into place and working out for you. I love the little tid bits and insights you give and continully wishing you all the best and a lifetime of happiness.

Keep posting, you and your family are an inspiration to all (whether we have married or are still searching)

Thanks Bob, well for myself and Vic our journeys are over, but I know the little tid bits of info will help others, I am so happy and if my experiences gives others the nudge to do it for themselves then that is all I ask.

Posted by: Chrismc

Well Nata continues to do well and has settled in great at her new school, the initial worries are no more and we couldn't have wished for a better start.

Interestingly a friend of mine who teaches English to Russians in Ufa, (Martyn - Bingism) wrote me this yesterday, he said I can post it here:-

Chris, my mother has been working in Special Educational Needs for the past 30-years and until recently, pupils with no English were her responsibility. Would you believe, she found that the best way wasn't to try and teach them English, but to just send them to class. Within a month or three, they could magically speak English!!! Go figure??!! This seems to work for kids up to the age of 12 or 13, but their comfort levels and speed of uptake can be helped with some teaching. In this case, by teaching, I mean vocabulary, reading and pronunciation and NOT grammar - in fact, no grammar under any circumstances... we weren't taught it at school and neither should we try to teach it to the children!

In my opinion, grammar for young children is quite conusing and thus destructive - it denaturalises the language somewhat. If reading and writing (spelling) is difficult, start with the old-fashioned little letters, big letters plan (i.e. a b 'curly-k' d e f .... 'kicking-k'.... c-a-t, d-o-g) and then introduce big-girls' letters later... I'm sure you remember this from school ;D It's far more phonetic and sets a good foundation for later life. The more fun you can make it, the better - for you and her If you want any advice on this area, don't hesitate to drop me a line... for any other advice, e.g. of the relationship kind, I'm sure you know never ever to ask me...!

It just so happens this is exactly what this new school has advised us to do with Nata, so it seems we just need to give her some time and she will soon pick up the lingo, it already seems to be working just through conversations at home, but full immersion for 6 hours a day at school will help enormously.

This is very interesting and maybe good for a topic on its own.

Vic, I guess this is how you are doing it with Ilya too?

Chris

Posted by: blucatz

Too bad this technique cannot work for us old farts that easy....LOL

Posted by: Chrismc

You're telling me Blue, would make life a lot easier wouldn't it

pity the cut off seems to be around 13

Posted by: vic2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

It just so happens this is exactly what this new school has advised us to do with Nata, so it seems we just need to give her some time and she will soon pick up the lingo, it already seems to be working just through conversations at home, but full immersion for 6 hours a day at school will help enormously.

This is very interesting and maybe good for a topic on its own.

Vic, I guess this is how you are doing it with Ilya too?

Chris

Absolutely.

I dont teach grammar or correct his mistakes. If he says something wrong, I try to say the same word or phrase in my next sentence, so that he hears the correct pronunciation without feeling criticised.

He gets quite upset if he cannot make himself understood (and this also happens when Mum cant understand his Russian too).

The teacher, Martin wrote about is quite right. Learning by osmosis is the easiest way to learn. And it is quite magical!

Victoria is looking around for some advanced English classes. They are supposed to be free, but we have only found classes you have to pay for.

Posted by: matt235

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

You're telling me Blue, would make life a lot easier wouldn't it

pity the cut off seems to be around 13

Maybe I'm in luck afterall. Seems some of my friends keep telling me I act like I'm 12 sometimes!!!!

cheers,

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by vic2012

Osmosis long time since I heard that, but yes it is true, it does seem to work for the young uns

sorry can't help you with English classes Vic, she probably is already better than me with her English anyway

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by matt235

Maybe I'm in luck afterall. Seems some of my friends keep telling me I act like I'm 12 sometimes!!!!

cheers,

just your luck Matt

Posted by: Chrismc

Well they have been here nearly 5 weeks now and things are going fantastic, we have visted many places, and Nata has settledm in really well at school, we met her teacher yesterday for a chat and she tells us she has gelled with all the other pupils, her mathematics is more advanced than most of her class mates and her English is coming on and getting better daily, she understands a lot, but is obviously still learning.

Here are a few pictures of Nata and mum on the beach last weekend, just 2 minutes from where I live.

Posted by: Chrismc

and a few more

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Nice photos Chris, she looks very happy! Congrats on them settling in nicely ... but I think the balloon life preserver needs an upgrade!

Posted by: azamuner

It's good to see they are adjusting well.

Posted by: TheWongs

Great pictures Chris!

It was a fantastic day on Sunday and I'm glad I missed the F1 to visit you all. You have a wonderful family and I'm really jealous!

Nata is a wonderful and happy little girl and they have settled in so well, it looks like they have been living there for years!

"May all your good times never stop and all your bad times never start"! (TheWongs 2008)

Posted by: Chrismc

yes it is next on my shopping list

but it was actually a flower made out of balloons that sort of went down a little

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by azamuner

It's good to see they are adjusting well.

Yes they are just fine, thanks Azamunar

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheWongs

Great pictures Chris!

It was a fantastic day on Sunday and I'm glad I missed the F1 to visit you all. You have a wonderful family and I'm really jealous!

Nata is a wonderful and happy little girl and they have settled in so well, it looks like they have been living there for years!

"May all your good times never stop and all your bad times never start"! (TheWongs 2008)

Thanks Chris, was great seeing you again too, and I am glad you enjoyed Ira's cooking, well at least you seemed to

Nice quote BTW

Posted by: Chrismc

Natalka came out of school today holding hands with a boy, she told her mum she has a new friend

mum came home and told me she has a boyfriend and that her school mates had been trying to get them to kiss each other

mum asked her what her new friend was called and Natalka said, it is a funny name mummy, he knows mine that is all that matters

I see she is a typical RW.

Of course when I heard this I had to tease her and asked when she would be bringing this boyfriend home to meet me, she ran off with a pink face, shouting daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddddyyy, you have to laugh

Posted by: Chillidog

Chris,

wonderful photos, and I know I do not need to tell you what a wonderful family you have. It really brings joy to me, to read the love and happiness that is being felt by all three of you!

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chillidog

Chris,

wonderful photos, and I know I do not need to tell you what a wonderful family you have. It really brings joy to me, to read the love and happiness that is being felt by all three of you!

Thanks Bob for your kind comments, I have been very lucky, the girls have settled in so well it is hard to believe, of course I have tried to make it easy for them at the same time

things get better each day, today I am working from home and they are walking to the top of my street 2 minutes to the beach for a couple of hours, I will probably join them later on the beach as the weather is quite warm this last few days.

I have recently started a new business also, (not good timing I know, but it is something that I had to do due to circumstances) and although it is very early days yet, things are going quite well, this also gives me a lot more tme to spend with the girls, so all in all things are just great.

Chris

PS while I am typing this Nata is kissing me on my cheek saying she loves me and tickling me, she is a real cheeky thing at times

Posted by: Chrismc

Well the girls have been here 8 weeks today and all is going fantastically for us all. Nata's English is coming on leaps and bounds, from speaking very little 8 weeks ago when she arrived, she is now putting proper sentences together and talking a lot of the time in broken English, it is amazing how quickly she is picking it up

Last week I was away on business for the week, but I managed to be able to take the two of them with me, work took only around 2 hours per day and the rest of the time it meant we could spend some time together sight seeing down in Devon and Cornwall, the weather wasn't great, but we had a good time and the girls loved it.

It is Ira's birthday this weekend so we are planning a few special things, my 3 kids and their partners are coming round Friday evening for a meal and Saturday we are going out for the day to do some things for Ira's birthday.

I can report I've also been outed by my 8 year old stepdaughter, I was on here earlier this evening reading some posts and my daughter came up to me, threw her arms around my neck and said "naaaaauuuughty daaaaadddy" I asked her why I was naughty and she said it was because I was looking at ladies, apparently the lady in the logo at the top of the forum page was enough to cause her to think I was up to no good

Nata is a real treasure and brings a lot of laughter and enjoyment into our lives, she is a typical 8 year old at times, but for the most part she is well behaved and mothers me just like her mum. Bringing the two of them to the UK was one of the best decisions I have ever made, we are all so happy together and pleasantly surprised how well and how quickly we have all started to act as a family, it is as though we have known each other for years.

Life is just great at the moment

Chris

Posted by: TheWongs

Glad to see all is going so well for you! You deserve all the happiness you are getting.

It's nice to see someone as good as you having some good fortune. Normally, it's the bad guys who win.

I wanted to get in touch with you before leaving, but it's 23.10 and I'm leaving for the airport at 4am. Not likely that I'll get a chance for a coffee!

Anyway... Thanks for everything Chris. I'll send you a message from Kerch, or give you a call.

Keep up the good work, look after those lovely ladies and I'll see you when I return.

Chris.

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheWongs

Glad to see all is going so well for you! You deserve all the happiness you are getting.

It's nice to see someone as good as you having some good fortune. Normally, it's the bad guys who win.

I wanted to get in touch with you before leaving, but it's 23.10 and I'm leaving for the airport at 4am. Not likely that I'll get a chance for a coffee!

Anyway... Thanks for everything Chris. I'll send you a message from Kerch, or give you a call.

Keep up the good work, look after those lovely ladies and I'll see you when I return.

Chris.

Thanks Chris, I just posted in your thread about the missing flight stuff etc, but good to speak to you now and also to Larisa

Now go get married

Posted by: Chrismc

Well things have been going really well over the last 4 months and the girls have settled in very well and are loving life in England. We have been lucky that I have been able to take them away on business trips with me and so far have visited the South Coast, Devon and Cornwall and their favourite so far Edinburgh, so we are getting to see the UK as a family.

Irena talks to her sister and parents 2-3 times each day on Skype mostly or the phone when Skype is not working well and although she misses her family very much the constant contact each day makes things a lot easier. She is also helping me with my business so that utilises some of her time and keeps her busy for a few hours each day.

Nata has settled in really well at school and has made friends, her English ability is now amazing and compared to how it was 4 months ago, and now she understands most things we say and can reply also, still needs a lot of improvement but it is coming on in leaps and bounds, I only wish I could learn Ukrainian just as quick

One of her old school friends back in Ukraine has now got Skype too, so she chats with her little friend a couple of times a week too, Skype is a life saver at times and makes regular contact so easy.

However, this morning myself and Ira were being asked questions by little Nata, the one that took us by surprise was "mummy, if I have a little brother or sister, will they speak Ukrainian first and then learn English like me" that came completely out of the blue!

this is a non starter as far as we are both concerned, but Nata kept pushing the question, we eventually managed to skirt around the issue and get her mind on other things

She has a very inquisitive mind and constantly surprises us with her questions and observations, but aren't all kids like that.

Well I just thought I would add a little to my old story, Skype is calling again now MIL & FIL are on the line, so must go.

Chris

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Glad to hear all is well in your world Chris.

Yes Skype is a life saver not only when she is here but also when she is not. The best thing I did was buy a computer for her so we could meet each day on Skype, now her son uses it to stay in touch with us. It has saved $1000s of dollars in phone bills.

I've made a few trips with wife around the country but I do miss Europe/FSU. It has been over a year since I have been there. I hope to go back next year ... for a wedding maybe!!!

Take care Chris and I wish you continued success.

Posted by: Chrismc

Thanks Steve, it certainly helps to keep in touch, thats for sure, great to hear things are getting better and better with you two, my next planned trip abroad will be back to Ukraine next March/April I think while Nata is off school, it seemd like a long time away a few months ago, but we are nearly half way through October already, doesn't time fly, so it will soon come around, Ira is looking forward to it of course, but she has not once moaned about being away from her family and just gets on with things. She's a real trooper.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

Thanks Steve, it certainly helps to keep in touch, thats for sure, great to hear things are getting better and better with you two, my next planned trip abroad will be back to Ukraine next March/April I think while Nata is off school, it seemd like a long time away a few months ago, but we are nearly half way through October already, doesn't time fly, so it will soon come around, Ira is looking forward to it of course, but she has not once moaned about being away from her family and just gets on with things. She's a real trooper.

Yes time does fly when you're having fun. It's hard to believe Larisa has been here for exactly 4 months today. The only thing she misses is her son, brother, and her brother's family but she talks to them on Skype too.

Posted by: azamuner

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

I've made a few trips with wife around the country but I do miss Europe/FSU. It has been over a year since I have been there. I hope to go back next year ... for a wedding maybe!!!

That could be quite possible.

Posted by: stevo

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

However, this morning myself and Ira were being asked questions by little Nata, the one that took us by surprise was "mummy, if I have a little brother or sister, will they speak Ukrainian first and then learn English like me" that came completely out of the blue!

You don't suppose she imagined the child might instinctively speak Ukrainian from birth?

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevo

You don't suppose she imagined the child might instinctively speak Ukrainian from birth?

Yes I think that is exactly what she thought

and because her mum is Ukrainian, it would automatically speak Ukrainian

Posted by: GoeastLJ

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

this is a non starter as far as we are both concerned, but Nata kept pushing the question, we eventually managed to skirt around the issue and get her mind on other things

Glad things are going well. What a clever little lady! May be she knows something you don't!

Posted by: Chrismc

Thanks GoeastLJ, yes she is very clever and I am sure knows lots of things we don't

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

Thanks GoeastLJ, yes she is very clever and I am sure knows lots of things we don't

Chris,

if children have taught me anything it is "They KNOW a heck of a lot more than the parents!!!!"

We await the coming news