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The Russian Meeting Place: A place to meet people and talk about all things Russian...
International Discussions about Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Travel, Music, Russian News, Ukrainian culture, Belarusian Dating, Moscow, Saint Petersburg, Kiev and other intelligent topics about life in the former Soviet Union. |
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We do not write the letters instead of ladies. We have 3 our own offices in 3 cities and about 1500 ladies. It is not in our powers to know all the ladies lifes and writes instead of them. As for same parts. When a lady comes to the agency it is strange for her how to communicate with a man only by means of letters as you know in usual life people meet each other, talk a lot and not just write letters. It is very difficult at the beginning to learn how to write letters. That is why we have some examples of other ladies (who are already married) letters so that ladies understand what to write about. As i can see now the ladies just use the parts of these letters. I will consult and it is more likely that we will have to take off these examples. Thank you for pointing out on it. |
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Dear Chris, Thank you for taking the time to contact Cindy agency. I understand your worries and thoughts. We have to deal with people and people do things that we can never think they could do. If you have any questions, please, feel free to ask. Best wishes, Anna manager of Cindy agency |
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Originally Posted by vic2012
Chris, sorry to bang my anti-agency drum again. If something awful happened and I had to start looking again, it would not be with an agency. Viki's details were bought for a mere $14 and she was only the third one I tried (and I got a refund on one of the others). So 1st-International made $26 out of me (I can count- the first one cost $12 and fortunately she declined, as I now realise that going to Vladivostok for a long weekend, would have been a bit of a bind).
With IM translator for emails and voip for free calls, it couldn't be easier, these days, for a bit of DIY! |
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Originally Posted by Raspberry
Chris, it is kind of an interesting parallel that I am also corresponding with three women at Cindy. Seems like this group are the ones that correspond with me the most consistently, of any.
All of the responses from these women are totally different, and that is a good sign. The only "cookie-cutter" correspondence I've had there were from ones that contacted me FIRST. And all of those were new profiles. No problems, so far, otherwise. |
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Originally Posted by Chrismc
Perhaps we should swap notes.....they are not my two from CA are they?? he he Funny you should mention new profiles because these two are new.
I have learnt since yesterday that CA seem to be reasonably genuine but do use some agency tricks to extract that little bit extra from us. eg 3 letter rule before they will pass on your private email address direct to the ladies you are corresponding with, witholding personal information for the same reason etc....this backs up what I was also thinking as I specifically asked for the ladies to write me direct, but they so far have ignored this question, but I have a Plan B in action at the moment so I will see what happens. Chris |
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Originally Posted by bobjf
g/day chris
mate you will soon be busy chooseing again & with a little bit of luck you will find a lady who can iron underwater hehehe cheers cobber you,ll get there |
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Originally Posted by markgm
Sorry Chris i missed this post goodluck mate wish you well i'm sure there will be a few goodones waiting out there for you.
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Originally Posted by bingism
Hi Chris,
First I want to say thanks for the support recently.... sounds like you've gone through your fair share of soul-searchning in the past few week/months!!! In a bizarre twist, it makes me respect your opinion all the more and I wish you all the very best.... tally ho, as they say in certain circles.... Martyn |
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Originally Posted by Raspberry
Again Cindy's management comes through. Yesterday, I had letters at both Cindy and AFA get sent double(due to malfunctions), and me getting dinged for two credits. I had sent e-mails to correct the problem.
Heard back from Cindy in 20 minutes, and got re-credited. I have still yet to hear from AFA. Chris, I will send you the names/numbers of the girls, and hopefully none will match up with yours. |
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Originally Posted by Chrismc
Boy this long distance dating can be frustrating at times, but I am sure it is still better than what is available locally.
Chris |
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Originally Posted by Chrismc
Low and behold a message came up: 'I am engaged to be married good luck with your search' A bit of a shock to the system, I have emailed her since but no reply and so today I have sent her a 'Happy Engagement' card. A bit pi$*&d off but what can you do??
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In fact thinking about it Bob...she doesn't even need to be able to iron, I would be happy just finding a good one and I would do the ironing if I had too!! 
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Originally Posted by EasyTarget
Chris: E works for an agency. So out of my own curiosity I asked her, how many men, do women usually write. She said that MOST girls are writing to 8-9 men. Although she did say that one woman was writing to about 25 men. She was complaining about this one client so I felt I could ask.
E did mention that, “only 1 in 50 men actually come to the Ukraine, so a girl should write to lots of men.” I 100% agree that men and women should write to many people. From the women’s prospective you don’t know if he will ever visit you. And if he does visit will you hit it off. Chris, I have the feeling that you were her 2nd choice and she was just trying to keep her options open. Can’t blame her. So you are 100% right you never know what the competition is and one does have to be really pro-active. |
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Originally Posted by Chrismc
Yes I know how this works Easy and I totally agree with you, I thought she was probably writing to one or two more you can tell on some agency sites when they show last log in times etc, I can't complain I was doing the same!! what is really annoying that I was on the verge of booking tickets, and sounds like I was just pipped at the post, pity because she seemed like a really decent lady too!! I sent her a nice card today and wished her luck anyway.
Yes you do have to be proactive, I have been over to the FSU before, but really when you meet a good one you have to take action as quickly as you possibly can. c'est la vie..........plenty more fish in the sea!! Good luck with E by the way!! |
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Originally Posted by Chrismc
Has anyone else come across the duplication of large paragraphs of text in letters and has a genuine reason for it, apart from the obvious scammers ones that are used? (lack of English skills is not a good enough reason for me) Chris
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Originally Posted by bobjf
who needs an iron lol
mate it will happen, maybe your not looking in the right places or need to change your criteria a bit. |
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Originally Posted by BradIL
Yeah Chris that has happened to me, and has confounded me just as it has you. I've extrapolated a couple of thoughts from this: 1) Despite all the assurances from these girls that they are serious... they are not serious. 2) They are immature and socially awkward. 3) They are not in a mental state of confidence and will encounter problems in a romantic relationship because of their lack of confidence.
I consign some of the above to pretty-girl-itis... girls that define themselves by their physical beauty--- and not much else. Pursuing such is a monumental waste of time! Don't drag down your optimism with this! |
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Originally Posted by Chrismc
I still have one I will probably go and see in Ukraine although I gave the agency a piece of my mind yesterday for letting us down with a translator, after taking over a week to organise it!! but if that falls through I have another one who has just written to me who I may start communications with. I don't really want to start another one yet, I'll wait and see what Z has to say about my letter yesterday first.
He has not read my pm's yet, I will keep trying. |
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Originally Posted by wavetossed
I just can't understand why men sign up with agencies and send women letters in English. There are so many resources available to help you write a letter in Russian. If you write in Russian then the girls actually understand the letter. And then when they write back in Russian, it is their own words, not some copy'n'paste from another English letter.
If you want to get real communication going, then you have to start in Russian. |
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Originally Posted by wavetossed
I just can't understand why men sign up with agencies and send women letters in English. There are so many resources available to help you write a letter in Russian. If you write in Russian then the girls actually understand the letter. And then when they write back in Russian, it is their own words, not some copy'n'paste from another English letter.
If you want to get real communication going, then you have to start in Russian. |
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Originally Posted by metaforest
Been back on the net making the connections, and have been finding that by using a decent web-based translation tool (which is free) I am getting much better responses, and as long as I warn the ladies in my first message that I am using a translation tool, and that I do not know enough Russian to get by they seem to do a good job of keeping their sentence structures simple, and avoid slang. A recent contact mixed Russian and English in a way that translated surprisingly easily. I may attempt this for a recent contact that is demonstrating more skill in english than most... (yeah I know more likely to be a Fat Boris)
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| I'm also finding out that since most Russians don't travel much from their home towns, hearing about other parts of the country seems to be a good topic for discussion... |
| The other thing that changed for me was knowing what is culturally acceptable in Russian behavior, and what is not. The resulting scamer/ bad-girl filter I have (at least for the early stages on email) gives me a much more confident footing in the searching this time around... |
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Originally Posted by RobOhioGuy
By going, you get all of the nonverbal communication you NEVER get through a letter or a phone call.
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Originally Posted by BradIL
We will disagree Rob... the verbal communication you get through a letter can be very revealing. So it is with me... to each his own.
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Originally Posted by BradIL
We will disagree Rob... the verbal communication you get through a letter can be very revealing. So it is with me... to each his own.
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Originally Posted by RobOhioGuy
Brad, there is no VERBAL in letters only text. For every guy who meets a gal he has been writing to that they hit it off, I can find 10 where the girl wasnt interested (romantically) All that time, energy and money wasted on someone you thought. I will say it again, you learn more in 30 minutes of conversation (assuming you know how to read people.) with a woman than you can learn in 6 months, or 6 years for that matter, from writing a letter. Studies show that men and women make almost subconcious decisions about people when the first meet. A woman knows in less than 2 minutes if a guy she is speaking with is a NO or a maybe.
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Originally Posted by BradIL
Rob--- I am aware of the studies you cite and find them contradictory both with my experience and that of others.
Non-verbal communication is simply a CRUTCH used by those who are unable to express themselves, particularly those who are egotistical or lacking confidence--- women that are the bottom of my interest list. This nonsense about knowing in less than 2 mintues whether or not a woman is interested in a guy is PRIMARILY SEXUAL. See Atlantic Monthly and National Geographic from March-April of 2006 that reviews a Rutgers University study on the matter. Yeah-yeah-yeah... the 2 minute drill... that 2 weeks later... 2 months later... is subject to a reversal of opinion by the same women. Initial impressions are frequently WRONG as sooooo many women (and men) have discovered. So the non-verbal ****CRAP**** is just that, its primarily a sexual response (not altogether bad)--- BUT IS NOT A REPLACEMENT for substance. But writing is pure personality and there are some habits that can't just help but SHINE THROUGH! We'll have to agree to disagree, but the clunkers show up for me, it works for me. Meeting in person is fine, but just tells me whether we want to get our clothes off and HUMP, that's all. Same-old-same-old as here, nothing new really. |
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Originally Posted by Chrismc
I agree I do also, but as above I also write in English just in case. Most FSU women know translation tools do not translate everything perfectly.
Again I agree, it is surprising sometimes that we seem to know more of what is going on in their countries than they do!! Again cultural knowledege does help,..... to be honest, I have never had problems with scammers, I think it all depends on what sites you visit, how you go about things what you expect, the type of lady you go after etc etc. Certain profiles attract scammers more than others, equally if you were a 50 year old male looking for a 20 something model you would expect to have a much higher chance of coming across scammers. I just think some guys just do not realise how this game works and can go into this being very niaive thinking that because you are American or British or whatever these women will do anything to leave their own country, this is obviously very far from the truth. |
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Originally Posted by waiting123
I know someone I met in St. Petersburg who was a personal manager at an agency. She knew most of the girls in St. Petersburg.. the nice thing about this agency is it has an on-line translator for both of you to use so you can have instant message type conversations.
secondly you can take a personality test, I believe she said it was about 50 questions and it will search for girls that have a compatibilty with you. I went to the agency in St. Peter... it is a real nice set up... and they take most of the photos of the woman in the office. she worked at www.allsinglerussiangirls.com It would be inersting to see if you use this service how it will work for you. I say she worked here... because she recently married her beau from Spain and has moved to him. But it was a very nice set up and place. The owner of the entire agency is US based and is out of Colorado. But this office I saw was in St. Peter right on Nevsky Prospekt. Good luck to all of you. PM me if you use this site.. I would like to hear your thoughts or opinions. |
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Originally Posted by metaforest
I have a minimal account on this site, and have had a couple of contacts through it, but nothing as yet that is very interesting. I do not that they seem to be agressive about yanking profiles of potential scammers...
It has happened a few times that a "wink" had her account yoinked before I could respond... The search functions are pretty good, and the cost for subscription is quite reasonable. I haven't been hitting the site very hard, and a fair number of ladies have been showing interest, and making first contact. as far as how many of the pictures are studio quality, I have not seen that many. Many of the pictures seem more from personal collections, pictures w/ the ex cropped off.... If I decide to spring for the Gold-service I'll get to see if the matching, and personality profiles are any good. The Silver membership only shows the base-line character copatibility. The Astrological matching is kind of interesting, but there is not details on the site as to how it works. So far it's the only site I have a paid subscription to, and the traffic reaching me is fairly consistant, and seems to be a fairly honest selection of ladies... |
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Originally Posted by RobOhioGuy
your just plain ignorant on the subject.
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Originally Posted by Texas Proud
the first lady I met we had some chemistry, but there were some negatives that gave me some bad feelings... I only found this out meeting her. . . My current GF good chemisty from the start. . . but I never would have gotten there without writing to her for a year
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Originally Posted by bobjf
... its ok for those who can afford to go often to meet a lady but for most of us it is a long slow (occasional quick) process ,you may start off writing to several girls but through the writing & phone calls you will eliminate ladies 1 by 1 until you either settle on 1 to maybe go forward with or
how many guys here have been sucessful by going over to see more than 1 girl per trip. Her responce was you are kidding yourself if you think this is a suitable way to gain a partener |
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Originally Posted by BradIL
Again, we'll disagree, but there are a few things to point out.
Given your major in communications (speech, mass media, which?), any oral communication class that is part of a general studies program of any college and university in the US points out that the non-verbal elements you so adore are core parts of initial impressions. Those impressions are frequently subject to changes beyond the short windows of time in which they are formed. They are, what they are, INITIAL and nothing more. The cues you seem to elude to (without defining) are SEXUAL in nature... that's it- short, sweet and simple. There are ways, however, of gaining more than FACTS out of writing, and Texas Proud steered towards a couple in his response: Writing allows you to build a set of mental connections with a woman. Whether or not, these connections achieve the level of "chemistry" is really irrelevant. It allows to discover the idiosyncrasies of her personality, and establishes her beliefs and preferences. Its interesting to see how she reacts when those beliefs and preferences are gently challenged. Its a marker that can predict her behavior in the future. If you are thoughtful in your writing its possible to flush these traits out. Its been very useful for me, and I can tell who is a bad fit for me, or me for them. And its cheaper! Other than that, its all about sex! The force that compels the genders to get together in the first place. By the way, if you have a degree you've taken a course in critical thinking (I'm certain its a prerequisite for a degree in Ohio). Use it! Knock off the ad hominen attacks and stick to the subject at hand. Its more useful than stroking your own ego. |
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Originally Posted by Spakoyna
RobOhioGuy,
How in the world can you rule out writing(and later phone calls) as not viable communication if you are a communication major!? My wife and I's exchanges were to the point it was only a matter if we were physically attractive enough in the flesh for each other. In this type of search, meeting or whatever, it knocks out many of the misunderstandings when 2 people do not speak the same language. Of course this is all dependant on whether the 2 writing and talking on the phone are being honest with each other! I also gotta totally disagree with your conclusions. Sounds to me like a few scammers or misrepresenters might have soured your opinion???? |
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Originally Posted by RobOhioGuy
Perhaps you should re-read what I wrote. I see no way that anyone could possible come to the conclusions that you articulate unless simply did not read what I wrote. No where, absolutely NO WHERE did I say that letters and phone conversations are a non viable means of communication.
I state that they are by no means the best means of communication. Absolutely nothing is better than FACE TO FACE communication. If that reality escapes you, then there is nothing more to say. Ive spoken my last in this thread. |
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Originally Posted by bobjf
guys i'm going to buy in on this again.
studies & stats are all well & good but again they come down to person or group doing them & whether or not there unbiased or done with a particular section of a community {snip} question from my rw to the forum. how many guys here have been sucessful by going over to see more than 1 girl per trip. her responce was you are kidding yourself if you think this is a suitable way to gain a partener,put yourself in the ladies place she says how would you feel if you knew you might be second or fith choice. i know what would happened to us I WOULD NOT BE MARRIED i found i knew far more by writeing to natasha & teaching her english on the phone & learning a lot about eachother in the process that we already knew what would happen when we met,i also know of many other couples who have done the same. {snip} |
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Originally Posted by RobOhioGuy
Non verbal communication occurs in every face to face conversation that occurs between two or more human beings. The fact that you think it only occurs on an inital meeting shows that you know absolutely nothing about this subject and I refuse to debate with some one who does not have even the beginnings of understanding the subject manner.
Kinesics, Haptics and paralanguage are in no way specific to sexual confrontations between people of the opposite sex. Im not at all surprised that you THINK non verbal cues are sexual. It is a common misconception by those individuals who do not know what they are talking about yet, want to tell everyone they know the subject matter when they in fact, do not. |
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Originally Posted by metaforest
I'm a firm believer in one person for one visit. I understand just enough about FSU culture to know, and to think through the concerns of the woman on the receiving end of the visit....
I felt very confident telling my host that I had only one reason to be there! That reason was for us to meet. Nothing else mattered to me. I know it was apparent in my behavior, and I know she could see it. I think it made a very positive impression. About a month before I met V. on-line I had been pursuing another prospect and did the typical AM gambit.... Well there may be other people I wish to visit on my first trip... It's all up in the air.... She broke me off so fast I didn't even know what had happened!! Word to the wise: If your #1 RW prospect is cool with you visiting other potentials on your trip, IMHO you are not dealing with a serious woman. Do not mess this up! You go for one, or you go for none! It's your call, and you'll get what you deserve.... =B-) |
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Originally Posted by Chrismc
Meta
That is exactly my view aswell, I was worrying what to do when I had three on the go, then I dropped one as there was no real connection, then one dropped me as she got engaged so I am now back to where I wanted to be anyway, writing one and visiting one. That is what I did last time too, OK it didn't work out, and I went on to meet another while I was there and spent a lot of time with her and even had her visit me a few times in the Uk. This time I am going late Aug to see one, and if for whatever reason we feel we are not compatable within a few days then I will seek others whilst I am there, I hope I don't have to do this but just in case I will have a backup plan. But I can imagine writing to a lady for months and going to see her and her finding out you are meeting a few other ladies while you are there would not go down too well. How can you possibly know you are right for each other if you do not spend time with each other. Quickly rushing around from one to the next as some guys I have met over there do is in my opinion not the right way to go about finding a good partner. I met a guy from California last time I was in Ukraine who was more or less treating the whole dating thing as a mass interview process, he had women lined up on the hour every hour for 7-10 days. Even the agency who were earning money from him were fed up with him and the way he was treating the ladies!! Chris |
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Originally Posted by bobjf
oi chris funny how there are no takers to nats question.
she couldn't beleive that guys did this sort of thing when there supposedly looking for a wife. if you get caught out & russian girls are far from stupid,you will get your marching orders as the girl is in it for the real deal,they don't play games girl will let you know very quick if she thinks it might work but the jealousy they exibit will hang you quick smart if they even suspect your not totaly focused on them |
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Originally Posted by Texas Proud
Bob... how old is Nat???
I think there is a difference between the 20 somethings and the 30 somethings... the older ladies will let you know that you should focus on only one... by GF told me that early on in our writing.. that she was upset that I wrote to other.... and I went to visit someone else a year ago and she still does not like that I did not visit her... But I think the 20s treat it more like how I was treating it... that this is a big 'coffee shop'... we meet each other and chat a bit... we meet others and chat to them... if something sparks while chatting, we do more... The first time I went, I had a 'back up plan'... it was not a good one, just the number of a few local agencies... never used them... This last time I did not have a back up plan... I told my lady that I thought we were friends no matter what happened... and that I would hope she would not abandon me if we did not 'click'.. she said of course she would not... she would be a good host... lucky for us we clicked!! I did not have to find out if she would have been... but I bet she would have.. |
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Originally Posted by JamesB
hi mate ,welcome back!
First can i suggest Bride .Ru as i found them to be fine. Second please dont be put off by the girls age.I must admit now that when Liuda first arrived i thought how much younger she was and i must admit i was worried. But things are Brilliant and i have never been happier.Liuda has had none of the problems another member mentioned and has been fine. Good luck. |
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Originally Posted by RobOhioGuy
Kinesics, Haptics and paralanguage are in no way specific to sexual confrontations between people of the opposite sex. Im not at all surprised that you THINK non verbal cues are sexual. It is a common misconception by those individuals who do not know what they are talking about yet, want to tell everyone they know the subject matter when they in fact, do not.
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Originally Posted by OzGuyLooking
Chris, I am enjoying the thread please keep it up.
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Originally Posted by Chrismc
Thanks Oz I will keep reporting as things happen. Z tells me she will act as my tour guide while I am there but she first off wants to spend time with me, she has used all her holidays up for this year so she is talking a week off on the sick list as she calls it!! basically it means we can have a week or more together if things work out.
Just the communications side to work out, she speaks hardly any English and my Russian is limited, she understands some sentances I use, but that phrase Ya ni Panimayu seems to be the most used he he |
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Originally Posted by mtbclay
Hey Chris,
I have had a profile with Cindy Agency for awhile. I am currently communicating with a lady from CA (I wrote to her first). The letters the introductory letters the ladies send out are sent to many, and they just put your name at the top. I have a friend that had a profile there and we both received an intro letter from a lady that was the same except for our names. Of course this does not mean the lady is not genuinely interested. It is much the same as what we do when we send an intro letter to a lady we are interested in. I might suggest that you check back in the archives for a post by Stoichman about his experience with CA. He felt that the photos were enhanced. I am in the process of making plans to visit Krivoy Rog. I will probably make my arrangements through CA. You are correct Anna is good at responding to concerns. CA does not currently have provison in their communication to comply withe the IMBRA legislation. I would suggest that anyone from the US that is communicating through CA to check to see if she is listed with an agency (such as AFA) that does. Especially if you feel the relationship may go somewhere. Clay |
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Originally Posted by bobjf
hey chris
wish you luck ,hope you find your dream this time & remember not to ask her about the ironing untill you get her home cheers mate |
Please tell me where I am going wrong!!! 
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Originally Posted by Chrismc
Maybe that is where I am going wrong Bob!! my opening statement always is "can you iron?" is that not the way you romance and woo these women then????
Please tell me where I am going wrong!!! |
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Originally Posted by bobjf
lessons for
under no circumstances do you mention ironing or show pics of it being done underwater tell her you are ace in the house,great cook ,good house keeper lol err you are arn't you mate ,wouldn't tell fibs now would you now sweep that lassie off her feet umm whats an iron look like hehehe cheers cobber |
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Originally Posted by Chrismc
Hi GTR
Yes first time to see this one....so into the unknown again, but prepared to have a good time no matter what!! Chris |
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Originally Posted by GoingToRussia
You bought the plane tickets so don't hesitate getting on the plane, it will be worth it.
GTR |
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Originally Posted by Raspberry
yes, stoichman is right about the pictures being enhanced. My Natalia looked like a voluptuous hottie in the photo. In reality, not the case, though not by any means flat-chested.
Still, she is really cute and attractive, and has this girlish charm about her. And we get along really well, despite the language barrier. In fact, we agreed for our next meeting to have the translator only at the beginning, and try to communicate on our own the remainder of the time, as much as we can. You've got to make some mental adjustment of what to expect between the picture, and what you will see in real life. Wish I were going with you!! |
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Originally Posted by Chrismc
After much contemplation over the last two weeks or so I have decided to cancel my trip to Ukraine that I had booked for early September. I realised I was not happy with the ways things were going and so I have put an end to my communications with the lady over in Dnep. I know I cannot get a refund on flights etc etc but c'est la vie and I know for sure in my own mind this is for the best!! Just thought I would give you a brief update as I have had a few asking me when I was going!! Remember...all good things come to those that wait!! so don't worry guys I am very happy with my decision! |
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