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This is not easy!!!
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Posted by: bingism

Dear All
I haven't posted here for a couple of months having been trying to make a life for M and me. I don't want to go into details right now, but there is one piece of advice that I'd like to give to all you guys looking:

"Despite many, many posts about how fantastic your RW will be, the reality is that life between two people from very different backgrounds is NOT easy. Even when you feel you have found your half, don't be fooled into believing that it's plain sailing from thereon in..."

M and I didn't fully appreciate this on Day-One and now relations have broken down irrevocably. We all try to tell ourselves that we are understanding and accepting people and that it is easy to change behaviour patterns if we want to. I would suggest that it's a good idea to really search your soul before embarking on this journey.

If my experience is typical then there'll be situations, reactions and behaviour that you will never have encountered before and you will not know how to respond. Bear in mind that second language conversations are fraught with pitfalls (misunderstandings) and that you'll have to be careful about what and how you say.

I'm don't want to sound like a scourned man here, because I'm not. In many cases, stories here are written after very bad or very good experiences. This is life! I wish you all the greatest of success in your different journies and when I'm feeling up to it, I hope to write about the whole experience I had and hopefully someone, somewhere, will be able to read my story and avoid some of the mistakes I made.

Bing

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Bing, I hope you are able to work through your feelings in good time. I don't say this lightly and I am sure you already know this, we are all here for you if you need to 'chat' or anything.

Take care mate.
Michael.

Posted by: Chrismc

Yes I agree with Oz....I hope you can work things out,,but from what you have said it doen't sound too good.

Chris

Posted by: vic2012

I am so sorry to hear of your situation.

Irrevocably, sounds pretty permanent. I noticed you had your "sad" mood up a month ago. It must have been an awful time for you.

Me. I'm just about to set out on the journey; she should be here in July. So, when you are ready to write your experiences, I for one, would be appreciate your advice very much, as I have little idea of the pitfalls.

But one question I do have, if it's not too raw for you at the moment. If you could do things differently, would you do it again?

Posted by: Jill

I hope things will work out for you and your lady. Relationships do take a lot of work, even under the most "ideal" of circumstances. If you can get through the rough times and keep your feelings of love and commitment, ultimatley your relationship will be all the stronger for it. Remember patience, love, understanding, respect, tolerance, forgiveness and, of course, a sense of humor. A relationship takes all of these things in different amounts at different times. I do wish you much luck and happiness.

Posted by: bingism

Vic

I'd certainly do things differently, but most importantly I wouldn't have put everything down to "cultural differences" rather than what they were: problems!!! When you want something to work out, it's very easy to make excuses when things aren't quite right.

It's all a matter of effort and M didn't fully understand what this means. I can understand a little, having talked with and watched Russian men and their GF's. It would appear (maybe I'm wrong) that before marriage a Russian man treats his GF like a princess and will try to do anything to please her, especially keep quiet if they are upset with them. After marriage, the roles seem to reverse 100%!

I don't know your situation, but the other thing I would do differently was not to have gone for the fiancee visa! Despite the fact that she can't work and you won't have the option for marriage, I would have gotten the tourist visa first and tried it for 2 or 3 months before applying for the fiancee visa. It's a more expensive route, but the fiancee visa is a devil in disguise. It seems so easy... get visa, come to England, if everything's OK then marriage after 5-months and apply for FLR visa. Not so... M's visa was issued with a start date a month before we had plane tickets booked for, so we lost a month straight off. You need to allow 28-days before the end of the visa to apply for FLR, so another month gone. Then you actually have to arrange the wedding, etc etc etc. This is a lot of pressure (emotionally). Aany little misunderstanding can turn into a doubt and any little doubts turn into big doubts. Then you remember that you're getting married in a few weeks!!! This is hard...

I'd do it all again, but I'd certainly listen to my head more rather than my heart and accept that sometimes warning signs really are warning signs.

On the other hand, on my last day in SPb (after an abortive rescue mission for M) I met up with someone else... Long story short, she got out of bed after we'd had 4-hours' sleep (not together), got ready, travelled an hour into town to meet me for 45-minutes!!! Kinda tells me that M is not typical Russian, just typically M... we'll see :-)

Bing

Posted by: bingism

Jill

Thanks for your thoughts, but this really is irrevocable. Not so much any one thing, but rather a quiet build up of things!!

Posted by: bingism

Oz, Chris,

Thanks

Posted by: scotch

Bing, I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out for ya mate. Sometimes life has a way of spoiling the best intentions, and it really bloody hurts.

Just remember we are all here to help each other, and no doubt, in time, you will look back at this as a valuable learning experience, and possibly a bit of a bad nightmare. It just takes a bit of time, as you know.

If you become ready to share your story then you have our full attention, your words don't fall on deaf ears (blind eyes!). Teaching others to avoid the same pitfalls can be the catalyst to viewing the experience more objectively, and would help lots of people, like myself, who are just starting down this path. But I am really sorry it didn’t work out this time.

sincerely,

scotch.

Posted by: DocSpooky

Bing,
Damn! I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you are reasonably alright anyway and not too down! Please Let us know what happened when you're ready to talk about it.
What are your plans now?

Posted by: Ade

Hi Bing,

Sorry to hear about this. There really isn't anything else I can say.

Take care of yourself whilst you're working it all through in your head.

Ade

Posted by: lester

Bing, it's sad to hear this.
Maybe, with some time to reflect, you may feel ready to pick up the threads again and restart your quest. I believe most of us have had some setbacks in our earlier experiences, I certainly did!
There are many here who will listen. "A problem shared is a problem halved"
or summat like that!
Take care,
lester.

Posted by: vic2012

Hi Bing,

Thanks for responding so soon. That was very helpful. And, Intriguing!

Posted by: skinsfan

Hi Bing !!

i can only imagine how disappointed you are now...but, things have a way of working out for the best...keep your chin up... !!

Posted by: AkMike

Bing, Keep your chin up. It'll get better sooner or later.
Sorry to read that.

Posted by: Leprechaun

Bing you have a lot of support here, thats a good thing, youre well liked as a person and have a great attitude. You know we are all behind you no matter what happens.

Posted by: Smoovement

yeah i know the feeling....my rw just recently went silent on me after 6 months of talking and sharing....i'm due to visit her in three weeks and now she's giving me zip...nada...nyet...today she put me in the dumps a little but ya know what?....i'd rather hurt now than later after we're married and she pulls this stunt....i'm pretty much feeling like it's over....even if she apologizes i think i know trouble when i see it....oh well....

smoove

Posted by: deccie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smoovement

yeah i know the feeling....my rw just recently went silent on me after 6 months of talking and sharing....i'm due to visit her in three weeks and now she's giving me zip...nada...nyet...today she put me in the dumps a little but ya know what?....i'd rather hurt now than later after we're married and she pulls this stunt....i'm pretty much feeling like it's over....even if she apologizes i think i know trouble when i see it....oh well....

smoove

How long has she been silent Smoove?

I wouldn't necessarily see it as a problem - maybe there's family stuff going on she needs to sort out?

Posted by: RobOhioGuy

Quote:

Originally Posted by bingism

Vic

I'd certainly do things differently, but most importantly I wouldn't have put everything down to "cultural differences" rather than what they were: problems!!! When you want something to work out, it's very easy to make excuses when things aren't quite right.

It's all a matter of effort and M didn't fully understand what this means. I can understand a little, having talked with and watched Russian men and their GF's. It would appear (maybe I'm wrong) that before marriage a Russian man treats his GF like a princess and will try to do anything to please her, especially keep quiet if they are upset with them. After marriage, the roles seem to reverse 100%!

I don't know your situation, but the other thing I would do differently was not to have gone for the fiancee visa! Despite the fact that she can't work and you won't have the option for marriage, I would have gotten the tourist visa first and tried it for 2 or 3 months before applying for the fiancee visa. It's a more expensive route, but the fiancee visa is a devil in disguise. It seems so easy... get visa, come to England, if everything's OK then marriage after 5-months and apply for FLR visa. Not so... M's visa was issued with a start date a month before we had plane tickets booked for, so we lost a month straight off. You need to allow 28-days before the end of the visa to apply for FLR, so another month gone. Then you actually have to arrange the wedding, etc etc etc. This is a lot of pressure (emotionally). Aany little misunderstanding can turn into a doubt and any little doubts turn into big doubts. Then you remember that you're getting married in a few weeks!!! This is hard...

I'd do it all again, but I'd certainly listen to my head more rather than my heart and accept that sometimes warning signs really are warning signs.

On the other hand, on my last day in SPb (after an abortive rescue mission for M) I met up with someone else... Long story short, she got out of bed after we'd had 4-hours' sleep (not together), got ready, travelled an hour into town to meet me for 45-minutes!!! Kinda tells me that M is not typical Russian, just typically M... we'll see :-)

Bing

Any man starting on this journey has to keep several things in mind. First you have to have INCREDIBLE patience. Things WILL go wrong with documents, delays miscommunication ect. Your lady WILL get upset and in many cases either directly or indirectly blame you. Best advice here..... KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT this isnt a time to draw the line in the sand. There are battles worth fighting, this isnt one of them.

Never, ever simply assume she understands what you are saying. Many times with further discussion you will see that she either has partial understanding or is thinking something completly off track to what you are trying to say.

LISTEN you have to stop what you are doing and give your UNDIVIDED attention. What Ive learned during this journey is how much prior to meeting my wife I didnt really totally listen to what people were saying to me.

I think the best peice of advice I can give you though is this... early in this process do not think with your heart. Be kind, be nice, be gentle but IMO you are wise to guard your heart. For every guy that ended up in a situation where his new bride turned out only interested in taking him to the cleaners, you wont find one that thought his bride to be was a "bad girl."

Keep your eyes open, guard your heart and only believe what SHE DOES. If what she says lines up with what she does then your golden. When it comes to a woman, the old saying actions speak louder than words is true 100% of the time. The level of a womans flakiness is directly related to the level of disinterest she has in you (in romantic/lover terms)

Posted by: Smoovement

yeah i know...her father died about three weeks ago and she had to travel back to russia from helsinki to be with her mother....she just arrived back in helsinki this past weekend and i think she was feeling some pressure about going back to work and possibly having to move again....i can understand all of that....but the way she talked to me on sunday was just so cold....she didn't want to talk about anything....then yesterday i asked if she needed some space and she said yes and not to call her....so i'm sitting here wondering what happened....like i said i understand pressure and what it can do but what concerns me is her method of dealing with it....what happens when we're married and she feels pressure....does she shut me out again?....does she pack her bags and leave?....this has me worried because like most i'm not one for the silent treatment....

i suppose one other thing that puzzles me is that the past few months we've gotten along very well...great discussions about all aspects of life and now this....we had agreed that communications is key....so i'll keep my distance out of respect....my heart is heavy now but hey....it isn't the first time....like i said better to be hurt now than later....

smoove

Posted by: bingism

Rob
I have to concur with everything you've said except one point... that is that it shouldn't have been necessary for me to keep my mouth shut so many times! You're 100% right about actions and words and this was the thing that got me down so much. It'd probably be easier to put more details here, but I right now that is for another time (I feel pretty ropey already, since I had to cancel the wedding dress, registry office and visa today).
Thanks anyway for your thoughts,

Posted by: jeffs

Bign... I hope things get brighter for you. Being divorced I know how relationships can go south. I know it's easier said than done, but "chin up" and know that Mrs Bingism is out there beit in Russia, England or anywhere...

Posted by: bingism

Cheers everyone for your thoughts... a very funny thing has happened... the girl that I bumped into on the last night in SPb is really very interesting! It's strange because communication (verbal) is tough since I speak bugger all Russian outside getting food and drink and her English is limited... why do I feel so much more relaxed??? In the space of a few days, she's made so much more effort than M and maybe this is why... maybe I just feel chased rather than chasing and that this is not unhealthy...

Anyway, not going to think about it much, but I'm certainly finding it easier to get over the M debacle having K talking with me... I just hope I'm not using her unneccessarily!!!

Bottom line guys is that M just didn't know how to try and I made things a lot worse by making everything too easy in the beginning and this turned into a habit I couldn't break... it always has to be a 50:50 approach for me and this wasn't on the cards with M. I guess in my heart of hearts I always knew this and didn't like to accept it.

Bing

Posted by: Leprechaun

Is she chasing becuase you are a good catch, a man she knows goes and gets the girl or is she chasing you to get out, whats your feelings on K?

does she know about M?

Posted by: That1Guy

Hi Bing,

As much as I hate hearing about these disheartening experiences, I am glad that you have shared it with us. Although Tatiana and I met over a year ago, our relationship is still in its infancy, (she has only been in California for 12 days) and I am acutely aware that the most difficult times lie ahead. I wish I could give appropriate credit to the forum member who said getting the visa was a cakewalk compared to establishing and maintaining a relationship (I do not remember his/her name - If you read this, please say so).

There are times when I try to look ahead, and fear that we will not be able to overcome the obstacles to hapiness together, and stories like yours serve to illustrate just how difficult it really can be.

I feel for you, and hope you will recover soon,

guy

Posted by: bingism

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leprechaun

Is she chasing becuase you are a good catch, a man she knows goes and gets the girl or is she chasing you to get out, whats your feelings on K?

does she know about M?

Lep, it's quite clearly because I'm hot!!! LOL

To be honest, I haven't got a clue, just that there was a veritable frisson of electricity between us when we met (in the conventional sort of way). She's aware of M, but I'm not surprised that this has not phased her... In reality I have no idea, or any inclination to think about whether or not this will be something or nothing right now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by That1Guy

Since I couldn't sleep tonight, I started to mentally write a full report to post on here, with details from day-one. I'd thought about including a little

every time there'd been something I should've taken more notice of... by the time an hour of mental note taking had passed, I realised there was going to be one hell of a lot of little

in my story. Now I really don't fancy writing it for fear of having to admit my own stupidity (and of course vitriolic attacks I can expect from some quarters).

Guy, mine is a story of trying to achieve something that was impossible from the first day and that I didn't want to accept because I'd invested so much emotional energy into it. If two people put in equal amounts of effort, then I'm sure everything'll be fine.

Bing

Posted by: That1Guy

Hi Bing,

I can easily empathize with you because of a similar situation I have experienced. Also, because we are all (or perhaps were at one time) working towards the goal of meeting that special person with whom we'd build a lasting relationship, I think it is quite natural to be hopeful that everything will work out - otherwise, why bother? We all know the notion of a perfect relationship without any challenges is simply impossible. I think this makes it difficult to distinguish true "show-stopper" type issues from minor issues that will never develop into anything beyond an annoyance for one party or the other. Afterall, how many marriages begin with divorce in mind? So, I would suggest that you do not fault yourself excessively for not recognizing the issues that eventually led to the demise of your relationship. I think you are proceeding in the right direction by analyzing the actions and behavior that brought you to this point. There is likely to be a valuable lesson in there.

Guy

Posted by: bingism

There I was, getting my head round it all (even cancelled the wedding dress) and now M starts talking about maybe it's not over after all. I'd gone through all the things in my head that pi**ed me off and all those "issues" from her past that were influencing our potential future. I was just coming to the conclusion that no matter what happened it was never meant to be and now I've agreed to talk about it!! Somebody shoot me....

Bottom line is that I'm terrified, excited, a bit annoyed and even more confused about what to do. We have a big problem - the fiance visa expires 17th July. As far as I'm aware it's next to impossible to extend one in the UK and next to impossible to get another one at a later date!!! Anyone know if this is true (UK guys)???

One thing I do know is that if she wants to come back, then there's no way I'm paying for yet another ticket (I've spent over £2000 on airfares alone in the past 6-months). IF she wants back in and we can redress some of the big issues, the one thing I'll need to see is an effort from M and in particular a big effort to stop bringing up the past all the time (ours, mine and hers). I reckon if she has to find airfare, i.e. borrow it from family, this would be a fairly good sign of commitment to me.

Not holding out much hope, but I'm a big boy now and big boys talk not sulk...

I've got 3-hours before we speak, so any quick advice greatly received.

Posted by: Chrismc

Bing it is very hard for anyone else to advise you what to do, oinly you have met her and know what she is really like, I have been in similar situations and the only piece of advise I can give is go on your gut feeling either way.

Sorry not much help!
Chris

Posted by: bingism

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

Bing it is very hard for anyone else to advise you what to do, oinly you have met her and know what she is really like, I have been in similar situations and the only piece of advise I can give is go on your gut feeling either way.

Gut feeling was what got me into this mess in the first place (or was that feeling a little lower down...?) Thanks anyway Chris...

I may have to wind up work for the day and mull it over with a cold Guiness lol

Posted by: Chrismc

I think that was another type of gut feeling Bing he he......I don't think the bottom of a glass will help you though either!!

Just ask yourself (use your head) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO no one else?

Chris

Posted by: bingism

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

I think that was another type of gut feeling Bing he he......I don't think the bottom of a glass will help you though either!!

Just ask yourself (use your head) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO no one else?

Chris

I guess I'll just see how it goes... talk about some issues, see what she wants to do and think about it afterwards

Posted by: swindoom

I think you need to decide is she wanting to try again because she has realised what she is missing, i.e. you, or she has realised how bad it is where she has returned to.
When my wife returned to her home town after 4 months in England she realised how bad it really was in her home town.
Remember the old saying, "a leopard never changes it's spots".

I think you should forget about the visa issue for now, you have more important things to think/worry about.

Only you can really decide as only you how you felt in the past, how you feel now and in the future. Only you can decide if these big issues are really solveable, not just in the short term but in the long term as well.

Best of luck.

Posted by: vic2012

Life!!!

There is no right way, no wrong way. We make choices, we live by our decisions. And I've just had to make a difficult call. I had a long conversation with my ex last night. She has no idea that I'm engaged to a wonderful girl in Russia.
Anyway, she's telling me that she made a terrible mistake. She wants to turn the clock back. Can we give it another shot?

Too late.

I love her, but I also love Viktorija. Now Viktorija has had a couple of bad experiences and she ditched her last guy for me. So, I'd be a terrible s**t if I pushed her out. Well, I'm not going to.

But, these decisions dont sit easy. And Bing, you have my best wishes.

It's a rum do, and no mistake.

Posted by: bingism

Quote:

Originally Posted by swindoom

Remember the old saying, "a leopard never changes it's spots".

I think you should forget about the visa issue for now, you have more important things to think/worry about.

I know this is 90% true, but if I hadn't changed my behaviour some years back, I'd probably be in prison or dead... long story!!

The visa thing is on my mind and this is one of the biggest pressures we were under.,. should things turn out well, I hope we solve this quandry

Posted by: bingism

Quote:

Originally Posted by vic2012

Life!!!

It's a rum do, and no mistake.

Yes, it stinks sometimes... lol

And yes, it is a veritable Captain Morgan moment...

Posted by: bingism

Quote:

Originally Posted by swindoom

When my wife returned to her home town after 4 months in England she realised how bad it really was in her home town.
Remember the old saying, "a leopard never changes it's spots".

Well, you were correct... leopards and their spots are rarely parted!!!
Long story short:
- phoned at 6pm and M on the telephone to friend
- got SMS at 6.20pm to call
- like idiot called
- basic jist of conversation is that M didn't want to be "housewife" and it was her choice whether or not she lay in bed every day until between 11am and 6pm
- it was her choice if she wanted to learn English or not
- it was her choice if she wanted to look after the house a bit
- it was her choice if she wanted to go to the shop
- why didn't I entertain her every day and why didn't I get her out of bed if I wanted to do something
- it was OK that I had to do 75% of all the cooking and housework, because it was my house and anyway she wasn't allowed to get a job
- if I had given her more money (other than the £9000 that I'd already spent for us and the £200 a month spending money + all the bills & food and nights out etc), then maybe she would have felt obliged to do something
- it was my fault she got drunk regularly
- it was my fault she was always in bad mood
- she's not a housewife and please could I explain what 50:50 means, i.e. what did she get out of it all

I reckon you all get the picture of what life in the Bing household was like and that it will never ever be the same again (thank God!!).

I really hope that this is not typical of Russian girls because if it is, then we're all screwed.... I'm off to the pub to speak with a girl or two who live in the real World. lol

Posted by: Ade

Hi Bing,

Big decisions looming mate......but that's life. And despite the reality of alcohol being no help, sometimes it's good to just get out and have a few beers and just talk with your mates.

It won't make any decisions for you, but it may help you see things you've missed. The decision is yours alone to make in the end.

Now, any advice people can give can only be from personal experience and thoughts....but here's mine anyway; if someone has had problems in the past and can't let go, they're going to be problems in the future too, and affect future relationships adversely......and unfortunately, if someone is not able or willing to put the past firmly in its place, there's nothing you can do.

Take your time, as much as you can, to consider, in the first instance, what's best for you; because if it's not best for you, it won't be best for your future either.

Good luck, and keep your chin up,

Ade

Posted by: bingism

Cheers Ade,

You're right about the past issues... unfortunately (and I don't use this term lightly) M is "damaged" by her past, some of which was her decision and some of which wasn't. Her last BF of 6 years was a player in the business underworld and she had shed loads of cash for a couple of days a week's relationship. There's worse in her past, but that's too much for me to share. I reckon she thought she'd dealt with it all, but in reality not! The princessa made too regular an appearance and surprisingly she reared her ugly head tonight too...

This behavious has made my mind up 100% and it's time to move on! Anyway, she wouldn't let me post on here so it had to be a bad thing... LOL

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by bingism

Bing

Sounds like it was a bit one sided and you were putting in a lot of effort but not much coming back in return.

Maybe the skeletons and historical baggage is too much for her to just get rid overnight and it sounds like she has a few demons to excorcise before making a big decision like moving to a new country and getting married etc etc

Just my thoughts
Chris

Posted by: Mr.Humble

"50:50" is a term I first heard from a Russian girl....so I had thought it something from over there. (Not saying the meaning is new...just that exact terminology).

Well from my experience (despite meeting a very compatable personality) I had to drop that relationship because of a few glaring 'red flags'. an 80% match sometimes does not cut it. Cutting through the haze of what I felt and what I saw was difficult but I just know I couldn't live with the 20% non-compatability.

Now I'm hoping that this new adventure of mine nets me a better match, but I will not know until we've spent some time together.

Cheers!

Posted by: Leprechaun

50/50 is the same in any language so is 100/0

Did she meet in you the middle on anything???????

I think you made the right desicion, when couples try to "work things out" and only one person really "works it out" well its not worked out is it? It seems you want different things so Its better to find out where you stand now before you marry and have kids and ruin their lives as well as your own.

I dont think any man could make her happy.

Posted by: AkMike

Bing,
Have you ever heard that old song, "Hit the Road Jack" . It's right here.
Just tell her not to let the door slap her backside on the way out the door.
Move on man life's too short to need to be used like you've described. There are alot of good women still over there wanting a good man. Figure out what mistakes you've made , learn from them and get back on the dance floor!

Posted by: AngryFisherman

Bing, you can rest assured that this is not typical for all Russian women. But ,of course, this is not much help now.

Anyway ... I just wanted to wish you good luck in your future adventures!

Cheers,
FisherMan

... and boy, do some people have business acumen here, I think Bing already has shared quite a lot!

Posted by: Ms.Smarty Pants

Quote:

Originally Posted by AngryFisherman

Bing, you can rest assured that this is not typical for all Russian women. ...

Yes, you are right. It seems like she is not russian.

Posted by: bingism

I certainly hope this is true, because if everyone in Russia was like M, then it would be a difficult place to live... lol (and expensive)

Posted by: Mr.Humble

I'm thinking this is not typical of any general group of women...(except maybe the stereotyped trailer-types on TV)....

Posted by: JamesB

Im really sorry to hear you,re news.I go to berdsk in Siberia next fri to visit Liuda and her parents.It will be filmed by betty tv.I made it clear on there when interviewed that i had fears which i think are natural and whilst Liuda says everything right and is looking forward to the wedding ,until we actually live together and get to know each other i will try to be as patient as i can.I would be lieing if i said i was not afraid.I am i have been divorced before and really dont want to go through that again.Though i love Liuda I will always have a slightly uneasy feeling because things just seen too good.Im sorry things didnt work out Bing and i hope you pick yourself up and try again.We all deserve to be happy.

Posted by: bingism

OK... I don't want this to sound embittered, but I feel it's only fair to let any of you guys looking on freepersonals.ru, that M has reposted her data and I wouldn't want any of my friends here to go through what I went through. Obviously personal choice, but if anyone would like to know which profile is hers, then please PM me. I'm not going to post publicly as this would be unfair, even to M.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Bing you are a gentleman with honour beyond belief, I salute you.

Posted by: bingism

Quote:

Originally Posted by OzGuyLooking

Bing you are a gentleman with honour beyond belief, I salute you.

One tries dear boy, one tries!!! Don't know why though... the girl even used our photos (one's that I took) for her profile...

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Ouch, that is a proverbial slap in the face, you are better off without her mate, keep the chin up and know that you have real friends in the RMP, even if we only communicate via PCs.

My hat is off for thee Sir Bing.

Posted by: bingism

Quote:

Originally Posted by OzGuyLooking

Ouch, that is a proverbial slap in the face, you are better off without her mate, keep the chin up and know that you have real friends in the RMP, even if we only communicate via PCs.

My hat is off for thee Sir Bing.

I too don my hat to thee...

Cheers for the support - the last laugh will be on her as 1) I will not rise to it and 2) I've been continuing talking with the girl I met on the last day of my abortive rescue attempt in SPb. Unbelievable what luck can throw your way! Just when you think things have taken a bum steer, life has a funny way of sorting itself out!!!

Tally ho!!

PS. and 3) I can visit SPb anytime... no keyboard lotharios (rather juliets) for me :-)

Posted by: Chrismc

It just might be fate Bing that you met the other girl!!! funny how things work out sometimes, look at my story, it couldn't have been planned.

Posted by: bingism

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

It just might be fate Bing that you met the other girl!!! funny how things work out sometimes, look at my story, it couldn't have been planned.

Hi Chris,

I can't remember your story - maybe my brain's way too addled

Have you got a link to it?

Fate's a weird and wonderful thing... it's really bizarre, because Katya's English is nowhere near as good as M's and we're primarily using ICQ and PROMT translators to get by, yet I feel so much more chilled with this girl. I can't quite believe that in the last few days I've probably spent 10-hours chatting and a few phone calls in broken English-Russian to hear each other.

I'm certainly not going to rush into anything, but I'm definitely not cancelling the holiday time that I had booked off in June - I'm off to SPB again!! And this time I WILL see the bloomin' Hermitage LOL (5th time lucky)

PS. Anyone got any experience using translating software (PROMT or Ectaco) on a PDA - Compaq IPAQ????

Posted by: Chrismc

Here is one of the posts Bing http://www.russianmeetingplace.com/...read.php?t=5340 if you want a bit of amusement read the post on the first page about
Kharkov to Kiev by Coal Powered Aircraft quite amusing.

Chris

Posted by: bingism

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

Here is one of the posts Bing http://www.russianmeetingplace.com/...read.php?t=5340 if you want a bit of amusement read the post on the first page about
Kharkov to Kiev by Coal Powered Aircraft quite amusing.

Chris

I'd forgotten what an amazing story your's is... I nearly shed a tear (and I'm not bullsh***ng)... Made me realise that the little alarm bells that I had over New Year were not actually that little... great to re-read a fantastic ending (again)!!

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by bingism

Yes a good story and it is still going on, just trying to organise a trip to meet her again in her home city of Kharkov then on to the Crimea for a week, or to decide whether she should come here for the third time. She would have to get a new business visa but she can get a 5 year one this time, cost $190.00

I will keep you informed.

Chris

Posted by: Spakoyna

Quote:

Originally Posted by bingism

PS. Anyone got any experience using translating software (PROMT or Ectaco) on a PDA - Compaq IPAQ????

The main thing is to translate the Russian back to English! Some things translate and some things don't! You will have to reword somethings you write so they will translate correctly. After time you will learn how to write so it will translate correctly!

Posted by: PrincetonLion

Quote:

Originally Posted by bingism

It would appear (maybe I'm wrong) that before marriage a Russian man treats his GF like a princess and will try to do anything to please her, especially keep quiet if they are upset with them. After marriage, the roles seem to reverse 100%!

No, after marriage the roles remain the same!

Posted by: PrincetonLion

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms.Smarty Pants

It seems like she is not russian.

For me, it seems like she is very much Russian...

Posted by: Ms.Smarty Pants

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrincetonLion

For me, it seems like she is very much Russian...

There is no fire without smoke.

Posted by: firemansam

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms.Smarty Pants

There is no fire without smoke.

AND
MSP
Without either, what is the point of my existance???
Hahahahaha

Posted by: bingism

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms.Smarty Pants

There is no fire without smoke.

I'm not sure what you mean...

If you know of a way that you can encourage someone to do something, anything, just not to stay in bed all day, then please please please let me know...

Posted by: Ms.Smarty Pants

Quote:

Originally Posted by firemansam

AND
MSP
Without either, what is the point of my existance???
Hahahahaha

LOL Nice joke!

Posted by: Ms.Smarty Pants

Quote:

Originally Posted by bingism

If you know of a way that you can encourage someone to do something, anything, just not to stay in bed all day, then please please please let me know...

There is no accounting for tastes. And every man to his taste. LOL
I read nice book at this evening. About language and communication.

Posted by: bingism

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms.Smarty Pants

There is no accounting for tastes. And every man to his taste. LOL
I read nice book at this evening. About language and communication.

I will admit ( I hang my head in shame ) that because of my work, I am supposedly a communications expert.... I could not get my head round what happened... maybe I was too close to see it all

Posted by: bingism

PS. whereabouts in Russia is Samara??

Posted by: Ms.Smarty Pants

Quote:

Originally Posted by bingism

PS. whereabouts in Russia is Samara??

Samara is located on the bank of the Volga river near KZ border (about 200 km). Kuibyshev in former USSR. Big beautiful city! Quiet russian province.
Good place for rest and for living.

Posted by: Ms.Smarty Pants

Samara (Russia)

Posted by: bingism

It looks like Monaco without the boats... fantastic !

Posted by: bingism

PS. just read your profile.... how many jumps have you done?

Posted by: Ade

Quote:

Originally Posted by bingism

I'm not sure what you mean...

If you know of a way that you can encourage someone to do something, anything, just not to stay in bed all day, then please please please let me know...

Well, sometimes a judiciously applied palm to a convenient posterior can help

Ade

Posted by: Ms.Smarty Pants

Quote:

Originally Posted by bingism

PS. just read your profile.... how many jumps have you done?

Pleaseeeeee, speak in a low voice! It is top secret! LOL

Monaco? Here? Why not?

Posted by: bingism

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms.Smarty Pants

Pleaseeeeee, speak in a low voice! It is top secret! LOL

Monaco? Here? Why not?

You know what I mean... ho wmany times have you jumped from an aeroplane?

Posted by: Ms.Smarty Pants

Quote:

Originally Posted by bingism

You know what I mean... ho wmany times have you jumped from an aeroplane?

I got your question perfect! It is top secret.

Posted by: firemansam

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms.Smarty Pants

LOL Nice joke!

I struggle, but I try to please

Posted by: RoninRWP

Bing,

This is my second post here. Excuse me if I speak out of turn. It is my way to call them bluntly and perhaps too closely.

I just read your posts in this thread. I'm glad that you have discovered that you were sponsoring M. All your revelations are correct. There are few WM that can handle such a RW. Damaged goods that was played and now a player, she certainly isn't looking for a 50/50 relationship.

You have successfully avoid a more serious crash and burn story. Good education is expensive and you have paid for the best. Take some time to let the lessons learned sink-in before getting really serious with another RW. In the mean time raised glasses are in order, "ZA VAS!"

Cheers,
RoninRWP