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The final SCAM test: Does she just want a visa to your country?
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Posted by: scotch

Five weeks ago I managed to find a beautiful Russian girl who is fairly well-off financially, has a nice job and career, and who appears to be a wonderful, thoughtful, kind person.

But I have been listening to my family nag at me over the phone for the past week that she only wants to marry me so she can obtain a visa and citizenship in Australia (see thread in General Discussion).

Now being somewhat of a scam-magnet I acknowledge that this is one possibility out of many. Having dealt with many scammers before finding my current girl I had spent much time devising small strategies to sort the wheat from the chaff. I won't summarise them here but PM if you need help.

So how can we become a little more confident that our devooshka (Russian woman) isn't just pretending to fall in love for a free ticket to someplace warmer?

Personally I hate the thought of 'testing' someone .. but I think I would hate it more if I was used and deceived.

Now this is just my initial thoughts, and I would appreciate if someone could help me refine the method to make it better (because some women might be in love AND want to leave their country) .. this is only a location test.

So what I propose is this (and it requires that you know her pretty well and have been having light talks about the future):

- Try and find a way to ask her that "if we meet and fall in love, is it an option that we could live together in Russia?"

Say that you're very interested in the idea of living in Russia, but also stress that it's just an option you would like to have. Ensure she knows you aren't making any promises (that's assuming you want to come back home .. maybe you dont!).

If she responds with, "If I am in love I don't care where in the world we live, even Russia", then maybe you can be a little more confident that she isn't intending to marry a plane ticket.

As I said before, it's possible that a woman might be motivated by both love AND a desire to leave Russia.. so I need some help refining this strategy. But I hope this is a step in the right direction.

scotch.
aka scam-magnet

Posted by: leum

I read your previous topic and almost posted, but others said basically the same thing that I would have.
My advice is, ignore your family and just go. You seem to have a fairly sensible head on your shoulders, and I think that once you meet her you will know soon enough whether she is genuine or not. Trust your own judgment, not your families'. You're the one that has done all the research, attracted and learnt from all those scammers, etc. Your family (and no offence to them) are more ignorant than you are in this situation.

You run the risk of ruing the relationship that you have with inappropriate paranoia.

Most Russians seem to have lost much of their optimism some decades ago; try not to join the party. Your (hopefully) abundant but careful optimism will be a refreshing change for her. And even if the girl turns out to be a bad one, you'll have a cool holiday in a very interesting place.
Quit worrying so much and go enjoy yourself. Think of it as a holiday with hopefully a wonderful bonus included, but not guaranteed.

You're in Melbourne, right? Send me a PM if you'd like to talk to somebody who's just been there.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Scotch I have done thos exact same thing with the lady I am conversing woth now. She was excitged at the possibility of me living there if it wasn;t to see if she was being tested to seee if she was a scammer. Cosidering this, this idea can potentially backfire if the person is smarter than your average bear.

If I were you I would take Leums suggestion and go and treat it like a holiday with the potentiol of a lovely bonus. As our old Burt use to say, do you want "the money or the box", the choice is an individual one mate, so with the information you have gathered, and the assistance you have gained by asking qquestions, go to meet the lady in her country, enjoy yourself and let us know how it turned out.

That doesn't mean to leave us aone in the meantime either. I agree with Ham in many ways and the big thing I agree with him on is - being forwarned is being forarmed. Make wise choices scotch on the ifo you have and remember to ask q? Good luck.

Posted by: ham

when i mention relocation to FSU, learning russian etc, most women just disappear or suddenly discover how incompatible we are.

Posted by: Mr.Humble

Not quite the approach I use but probably of similar results....I usually have found an opportunity to put them under a 'stress test' of some sort (you remember that somewhere in the weddings vows thing they mention "For Better or For Worse").....

Doing this I have discovered either:

1: They bolt like a rabbit

2: They get insanely mad (unstable temperment is undesirable)

3: They take it full on the chin and deal with it sensibly (normally able to knock a gooder my way as a result)

4: Or they are completely oblivious to what you said as to make you wonder "what the heck??"

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:

Originally Posted by ham

when i mention relocation to FSU, learning russian etc, most women just disappear or suddenly discover how incompatible we are.

Humble and Ham, you have both hit the nail on the head.Most shudder at the thought of staying in the own country so much so that the indication is that they want you not for love but for something else. If they disapear then so be it, we can all move on to the next prospective.

I tried this idea with my current prospective and so far nothing much has happened apart from the odd whimper at the suggestion which tells me my current prospective is genuine. (fingers crossed)

Posted by: Texas Proud

It seems strange... but the woman I went to see in Kiev was OK for me to come live over there...

And the one I currently write to has said she has had a few dreams of us living in the town where her parents have some land..

SO, I do not think that all these women are looking to get out of FSU... but they know that the likelyhood of the man coming over to live where they live, learn the language and earn a living is so small that they do not even bring it up as a possibility...

Posted by: ham

it is known the vastest majority of men going the MOB route do not care at all where she is from, or which her culture might be...they just want fin-ER tw@t than they can usually get at home...
That is a reason, but can't be the only one, otherwise the relationship is doomed.
Men tend as well to make alibis out of the fact women need to learn their language to relocate, so they can get rid of the issue.
this compounds with the fact i think a majority of women into WWW/LD/MOB dating are not "serious" the way agency want men to believe, but one gets scammers, visa raiders, novelty seekers and mind players.

Posted by: leum

you're all getting a bit unrealistic here. Any girl who has made a serious commitment to search overseas for a husband will have put a fair bit of effort into the idea. She has been dreaming for probably years about living abroad; maybe she has learnt English, maybe (probably) she has dealt with keyboard Romeos, sex tourists and just basic scumbags. All this for the chance at a loving husband, and a better life. And now, suddenly, you hit her with the idea that half of this won't happen with you? What would you expect her to say?
There's nothing wrong with the ambition to emigrate, especially when the chance includes the chance of a good husband as well.
To me, the fact that my girl wants to emigrate is a great sign that she will adjust easily to the culture here.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

The few ladies I have gone past a cursery set emails with and developed reasonable friendships with have all said it doesn't matter were we live just as long as we have stability and security. And yes the L word did come into it to. But in my experience the really genuine ones dont flog the reason they are looking for a western guy is to hget out of Russia, the reason theyare looking for a western guy is because they cant find what they want in their own country. Much the same as us. The real ones want your respect and love, and as a side benefit they also want security and stability.

Posted by: ham

i don't care about how "legitimate" needs to emigrate might be...i don't want to get played.
I lived abroad for years= i paid my expenses.
I don't want to be anybody's doormat.
Dreams of living abroad?
Compete in a job/education programme...
No chances?
Why should i become one's "chance"?
A woman with quick lines about how local men are pigs, losers, abusive or whatever, will sure find a good line about her western doormat...with a divorce lawyer as speech therapist it's easy.
What for?
Sex?
A transient ego boost with some arm candy half one's age?
When all is said & done, going wh-ring proves more cost effective.

Quote:

What would you expect her to say?

nothing.
she stops writing me because the line up to the cashier's counter is filled already...Pedro, Wong, Leroy, Kojiro...you name it.
The only problem is relocation doesn't solve attitude problems...
ok, you made her day & "rescued" her...she made it big in a first class country...now she has the country of her choice and the more time passes, the more accessory you become...you were probably the only ( keyboard romeos & all ) Jim wanting to give her a passport, but now how many Jim's and Sam's and Barney's does she have at her disposal?
After all, she "owes" you nothing, right?

Posted by: broncosfan

Ham, I value your opinion. Everyone on this site, myself included, wants to find this fantasy romance with a Russian girl. Everyone here has their own reasons for doing so. For me, I do not know exactly why. I am part Russian and was curious about where my family came from. I have had a desire to go my whole life, even though I ended up in Ukraine not Russia. This is part of the reason. As far as American women go, I realized out of all the women I have slept with, only one was a "girlfriend". These one night affairs, or booty calls, date a couple times and your in the sack turns me off a little. I think I went this route because with the distance between us, I have a chance to get to know this person. No sex on the second date, 4 days later the "Why haven't you called message on my machine." I feel very close to the women I met, and am returning in June, probally to talk about the future. Long story, "a little off subject,"but it brings me to my question. If you make the decision to get married, how bad can you get screwed? I am not worried about it, but I am curious. Is there different laws that apply?If you were married for say 3 years, she has citizenship and you divorce,is it not like divorcing an American women?Alimony for half the time you were married? I have ways that I filter money and property through family to keep it in their name, or inheritance. On property my folks are the bank, I make payments to them and it stays in there name. So this can not be touched. I drive newer vehicles, so the amount owed is usually more than the car is worth. So how bad can you financially get scammed? Is it really that much worse than what an American women can do to you?

Posted by: ham

well, opinions vary.
starting from the MOB apologist/agency propaganda, FSUWs are the next best thing for a man since malt liquor. My point of view is that FSUWs are women from a different country, not another planet.
http://www.geocities.com/a280872/FSUWs-income-UA.html
official FSU data tend to show divorce rates roughly similar to the west, also validated by aging INS studies.
For example, the dreamland item of FSUWs be willing to emigrate because of a huge male/female numeric disproportion defavouring women is dismissed by official data:
http://www.ukrcensus.gov.ua/eng/results/general/sex/
The other polemic item about them being compelled to relocate because local men are all jobless drunkards has been extensively discussed elsewhere and it belongs more to a myth than reality.

So, all in all no, you stand no tremendously higher chance of divorce than you would with your next door woman from your childhood turf .
If you have taken proper asset protection measures, the risk steadily decreases the more efficiently you plan; legal details are left to counselors competent about your jurisdiction.
There are uncredited "studies" claiming MOB divorce rate is as high as 84%...a website claims similar figures as drawn from INS documents, but provides no source.
Being cornered by a visa raider (EG anyone whose predominant interest is relocation ) may lead to vicious cards being played, EG violence/abuse: how that can ricochet, it's one's guess.

I shared the same approach...i wanted to get to know someone better, because in the long run the "clicking" typical of the pub scene can't hold water...but then again,
i never was popular at the bar scene & i make no excuses about the fact if i were some male cutie or some millionaire, i wouldn't need to go the MOB route.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Here we go again.

Posted by: Texas Proud

Ham...

Using your site...

"According to the data of the All-Ukrainian census of the population �2001, the number of men totalled 22,441,000 people, or 46.3%, that of women - 26,016,000 people, or 53.7%"

That looks like about 3.6 million more women than men... it does not have it broken down by age... but that is a pretty big difference with only 48 million population!!

Posted by: ham

well, if you don't break it down by age, what's the purpose?
here is the official answer:

Quote:

Besides, according to the data of the last census, the proportion of women to men at the reproductive age become better, since the index, calculated like division of number of women in this age group by 1000 men in corresponding age, come to 1031.

http://www.ukrcensus.gov.ua/eng/results/general/sex/

1000:1031=3,1% difference.
The overall female number includes children, and the elderly, none of which is relationship material.
Besides, that should be compounded with how many women are married
http://www.ukrcensus.gov.ua/eng/results/general/marry/
again, children & many old people count as "non married" or "widowed" but aren't relationship material.

Posted by: Texas Proud

in per cent of the corresponding age group

1st column Married
2nd column Single never married
3rd column Widowed
4th column Divorced
Men Female

20-24 24.8 73.1 0.0 1.6 48.1 45.8 0.3 5.3
25-29 60.8 32.0 0.1 6.6 70.1 16.3 0.9 12.4
30-39 77.4 10.9 0.4 10.9 75.2 6.1 2.5 15.8
40-49 82.5 4.9 1.2 11.1 73.6 3.6 6.4 16.1

Ham... again... I do not see that it is as equal as you say... but even going with your number... that means for every 1,000 men there are 31 females without a chance of a mate... lets say there are 10 million men.. then that is 310,000 woman... not as much as 3 million, but still a lot...

But look at the percentages above... seems that there are a lot of women in the age group that we look that are not married... 25% or more..

Posted by: ham

well, whatever makes you happy, then.
so you say that 3,1% of females, who outnumber males are what gives credit to wild agency claims...
US census
http://factfinder.census.gov/servle...ame=D&-_lang=en
95,8 males per 100 females

so you have more females available in the united states than you do in Ukraine.
Since i think the same could be about Germany or France, the whole issue about females outnumbering males becomes irrelevant.

http://factfinder.census.gov/servle...eo_id=04000US48

according to the above, about 25% of the 15yo+ in Texas is never married.

this 25% becomes nearly 29%
http://www.census.gov/acs/www/Produ.../04000US482.htm

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:

Originally Posted by ham

well, whatever makes you happy, then.
so you say that 3,1% of females, who outnumber males are what gives credit to wild agency claims...
US census
http://factfinder.census.gov/servle...ame=D&-_lang=en
95,8 males per 100 females

so you have more females available in the united states than you do in Ukraine.
Since i think the same could be about Germany or France, the whole issue about females outnumbering males becomes irrelevant.

http://factfinder.census.gov/servle...eo_id=04000US48

according to the above, about 25% of the 15yo+ in Texas is never married.

this 25% becomes nearly 29%
http://www.census.gov/acs/www/Produ.../04000US482.htm

And what is the legal maraige age in Texas?

Posted by: ham

who cares.
it doesn't change the figure.
a recent sensational trial in Montreal showed women at 15 can legally get married due to some never repealed XIX century law.
I have no idea why they start from 15 instead of 18, but numbers are there.

The problem is most agencies spread lies...period.
One doesn't need to be a genius to debunk such myths.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Here we go again!

Hey I simply asked a question because you are making wild claims. It does change the figures if you are making a direct comparison, don't compare apples and oranges Ham, it isn't good form. Yet again you have made a claim and cannot back it up.

I don't give a fat rats about Montreal, especially when you quoted Texas.

Posted by: scotch

Whoa! there is testosterone seeping out of my computer monitor!!

anyways, back to the original topic for a sec ...

Quote:

Originally Posted by leum

You run the risk of ruing the relationship that you have with inappropriate paranoia.

Most Russians seem to have lost much of their optimism some decades ago; try not to join the party. Your (hopefully) abundant but careful optimism will be a refreshing change for her. And even if the girl turns out to be a bad one, you'll have a cool holiday in a very interesting place.
Quit worrying so much and go enjoy yourself. Think of it as a holiday with hopefully a wonderful bonus included, but not guaranteed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by OzGuyLooking

choice is an individual one mate, so with the information you have gathered, and the assistance you have gained by asking qquestions, go to meet the lady in her country, enjoy yourself and let us know how it turned out.

Thanks Leum and OGL, I think this is very good advice and I'll stop trying to second-guess her intentions. In the two months I'm staying with her I should be able to get a good handle on what she's like, and if it doesn't turn out to be the 'match-made-in-heaven', well, at least I'll get to see a lot of a fascinating country.

Cheers biggie ears!

scotch.

Posted by: ham

Quote:

Originally Posted by OzGuyLooking

Here we go again!

what claim?
there are numbers to read for everyone.
Instead of the psycho or socio babble you love to post.
Care to answer there are 95,8 females per 100 males?

Or care to argue people 15yo + are 25% non married?
If so, what is the difference between the USA & Ukraine?

Do you think US census is incorrect? Write them.

I suggest you keep the "********" remarks to yourself...your vague, emotional moot points bring people nowhere.
Since, however, you seem to love carrying feuds/grudges, i'm glad to repeat i don't give a sh!t about your opinion.
You need a self-esteem boost & i somewhat provide it...fine enough; i realize conventional theraphy would prove more expensive.

I won't argue with you: you're another internet moniker who needs me to prove how their wonderful self is better than...the other bad guy over the internet...well, you win big boy...
you made it to my ignore list.
Now rant & rave all you want...you win...you're better...
i realize all you want is my attention and a chance to show how cool you are in comparison but i'm sorry...you'll have to find another "imaginary friend".

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Ok here are my thoughts about stats and how they are applied, using the quoted stats as a discussion point/guide.

If 25 % of all 15+ year olds are not amrried in whatever place in the world we are currenttly talking about then it is a relevant q? to ask what is the legal age for marraige. Why? you may ask, well if the leagal marraige age is 18, or 21?, then all ppl under this age would not be married, that is unless the marraige is illegal or is a court/state sponsored marraige.

If this is the case and you use this age group in the stats then it stands to reason these stats will be incorrect because it contains a group of people who cannot legally get married anyway. So why use them in a discussion about marraige unless the point is about legal marraige ages in various cultural groups, which in this case it wasn't.

Ham, settle and dont take everything so personally, sheez. I dont need you to prove how good or bad I am, infact I dont even care if you think I am good or bad. To top it all off, I dnt care if I am good or bad. So please whenever replying to my posts, dont get upset because I like many others are simply asking you a question to clarify something so we can understand better what you are saying.

BTW you can ignore me all you like, but your posts will still show on my screen so it will still make sense to me, where you will be missing out on some very constructive and titilating discussion because you will be ignoring so much. Ta ta.

Posted by: bobjf

your an evil bugger oz,very provocative as usual lol

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Thanks Bob, I love you to mate, not in that way though. Say hi to your ladies and little man for me.

Posted by: ham

Quote:

OzGuyLooking This user is on your Ignore List.

I will no longer reply to or take whatever you type into account.
So please give it a rest.
I'll spare the owner of this site the deletion of useless grudging messages.

Numbers are there for everyone and very easy to understand.

Quote:

your an evil bugger oz,very provocative as usual lol

he will have to find another "imaginary internet friend" to feud with.
i tried arguing back&forth with such people, but after 3 years i still was running in circles...so i ought to better steer clear thereof.
They have a problem with what i say...well, the problem is theirs & theirs shall remain.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

I knew you couldn't help but read what I said.

Posted by: Samurai_Bob

It is not what we say, but the way we say it that offends people.
We are only human.

Posted by: Samurai_Bob

The age of consent in Texas is 17, and 18 for marriage or any contract action.

A boy or girl can marry in Texas at 14 under special conditions.

http://family-law.freeadvice.com/tx...tal_consent.htm

Parental and/or a judge's consent required.

A girl can marry at 13 with both consenting.

There are some cultural and actual reasons for this.
It is not uncommon for Mexican people to marry very young and they are a large percentage of Texans here. This also provides a method to create acceptance for a girl who is with child, and the girl and boy wish to be a family.

It is not a common practice here to marry so young; however for special circumstances the law is flexable, but rarely used.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Thanks SB, So the figures are therefor stacked by the mere fact that a minor need parental/court permission to marry and therefor minormarraige is a very rare occurence indeed.

BTW SB, I asked a q? and offence was taken, tell me would you take offence at this:

And what is the legal maraige age in Texas?

That is a direct quote from the post I made. Sorry but I can't see anything offensive in that. But hey I'm fairly laid back about this type of thing.

Again SB thanks for the answer to the q?

Posted by: Samurai_Bob

Quote:

Originally Posted by OzGuyLooking

Here we go again!

I can not say for someone else Oz, but it appears the tone changed following your question on Texas marriage age law.
I'm staying out of it.

Posted by: Khashyar

Quote:

Originally Posted by ham

I will no longer reply to or take whatever you type into account.
So please give it a rest.
I'll spare the owner of this site the deletion of useless grudging messages.

Yes, please spare me the need to delete any messages that violate the forum guidelines......

If two people disagree, I think it's best just to leave it at that.

And I recommend the "ignore user" feature for any two people who just can't get along with one another... Or, just take any disagreement OFF the public forums.

Thank you.

Khashyar

Posted by: broncosfan

This subject took a left turn, didn't it. My original question that spawned all of this is; do different laws apply when marrying a women from a different country. I hear so much talk of scams and the like, are you protecting your heart or your pocket book? When it comes to matters of the heart, it is always a gamble with whoever you choose"native or foreign women" But when marrying a foreign women are you as a U.S. citizen financially responcible for them longer than you would be marrying a women from your own country? You are the one who allowed her to get citizenship.

Posted by: ham

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samurai_Bob

The age of consent in Texas is 17, and 18 for marriage or any contract action.

A boy or girl can marry in Texas at 14 under special conditions.

http://family-law.freeadvice.com/tx...tal_consent.htm

Parental and/or a judge's consent required.

A girl can marry at 13 with both consenting.

There are some cultural and actual reasons for this.
It is not uncommon for Mexican people to marry very young and they are a large percentage of Texans here. This also provides a method to create acceptance for a girl who is with child, and the girl and boy wish to be a family.

It is not a common practice here to marry so young; however for special circumstances the law is flexable, but rarely used.

yes of course.
it is like roughly like that in any western country.
But that has no bearing upon the topic.
If US census says the age gap 15+ is married at 25%, it means roughly any subcategory does, EG 20-30 or 30-40...of course there are other tables with more details...i posted the full US census & ukrainian census links, so people are free to investigate on their own.
I think i contributed meaningful information, not just catchy emotional phrases & opinions.

Quote:

But when marrying a foreign women are you as a U.S. citizen financially responcible for them longer than you would be marrying a women from your own country?

USA requires official guarantees from the sponsor (male).
It is said for a long number of years he could be held liable for expenses incurred by welfare etc even if she runs away.
Other western countries share similar requirements (Eg the signed sponsorship part ), but i'm not a lawyer so i'll stop here.

Quote:

Or, just take any disagreement OFF the public forums.

when someone questions a quote from some census website, there are 2 options:
a) they think the census website is incorrect. Fine: write them. However, census sites are the highest authority about population, income, whatever data.
b) any reason will do to start a personality debate with some other internet alias they dislike. Well, been there, done that...thanks, i call quits.

Quote:

OzGuyLooking This user is on your Ignore List.

Posted by: broncosfan

Thanks ham. I would be curious to hear more if anyone has additional information.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

I am not argueing anything apart from the need for an accurate comparison. As far as I am aware and the Scots here might be able to correxct me or something, but a girl in Scotland, who is a Scottish citizen can marry at 14 without persmission, it is an old customary law. However an English citizen cannot. So to quote figures from two different countries with different laws on marraigable ages is not going to really tell anyone anything useful.

I could bring up the marraige stats from Australia and New Zealand but it would be comparable because the marraige age in Aus is 18 from the last time I checked and NZ s 15 or 16 so the figures are not comparable.

Could someone please tell Ham he doesn't need t show me he is ignoring me anymore, I get the picture. It doesn't however mean I am going to stop posting.

Posted by: ham

Quote:

This message is hidden because OzGuyLooking is on your ignore list.

well, if you are interested in US immigration, check the INS websites
http://russianmeetingplace.com/foru...read.php?t=4783
...it is also said that the government never had recourse to the binding nature of the sponsorship (EG making him pay if she leaves with the milkman yet collects social security or medical aid ); opinions are split, however.
There are documented court cases where a woman who reported abuse ( any kind thereof ) can still be collecting monies from her "abuser" while under shelter ( EG the man ignores where she is at the moment ); that has significant overlapping with DOMESTIC relationships ( EG it's not the MOB nature of the relationship leading to such legal consequences but it could happen wih everybody ).

http://uscis.gov/graphics/aboutus/repsstudies/index.htm

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by OzGuyLooking

I am not argueing anything apart from the need for an accurate comparison. As far as I am aware and the Scots here might be able to correxct me or something, but a girl in Scotland, who is a Scottish citizen can marry at 14 without persmission, it is an old customary law. However an English citizen cannot. So to quote figures from two different countries with different laws on marraigable ages is not going to really tell anyone anything useful.

Hi Oz....sorry you are wrong with what you state above, Scotland is 16, but everything else I agree with you on, here are some facts if anyone is interested:

http://www.wedding-service.co.uk/marriagescotland.htm Minimum age to get married Scotand

http://www.wedding-service.co.uk/marriageengland.htm Minimum age in England and Wales

http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm Age of consent in countries worldwide

May be of interest to some people

Chris

Posted by: Spakoyna

Quote:

Originally Posted by broncosfan

This subject took a left turn, didn't it. My original question that spawned all of this is; do different laws apply when marrying a women from a different country. I hear so much talk of scams and the like, are you protecting your heart or your pocket book? When it comes to matters of the heart, it is always a gamble with whoever you choose"native or foreign women" But when marrying a foreign women are you as a U.S. citizen financially responcible for them longer than you would be marrying a women from your own country? You are the one who allowed her to get citizenship.

If I understand correctly. The sponsor is financially responsible until she has 40 quarters of qualified Social Security paid in. This translates to 10 years of work. I have heard different stories from people...I do not completely understand. Basically if I understand correctly you would be responsible for repaying the government for any benifits they pay out...ie medical,welfare or whatever.

Posted by: ham

age of consent is for sexual purposes and tells little about it...
Then i don't understand all the fuss (besides chipped shoulders) about the legal age to marry...it is about the same in all western countries...typically 18 and lower with parental consent or other third party monitoring...but who cares?
It's not that every person old enough to marry legally gets married literally jumping at the opportunity...that is why census regroups people in categories, brackets & the like.
According to public survey
http://www.census.gov/population/so...70-97/tab01.pdf and
http://www.ukrcensus.gov.ua/eng/results/general/marry/
NEVER MARRIED WOMEN: AGE 15-19:95,9 USA/ 92% Ukraine
AGE 20-24 WOMEN NEVER MARRIED: AGE 20-24: 70% USA/45,8% Ukraine
AGE 25-29 WOMEN NEVER MARRIED: AGE 25-29: 33,1% USA/16,3 Ukraine

So official data split in age brackets ( EG 20-24 & 25-29, where no "word play " about legal age to marry is allowed ) show there are more available women in the USA, EG 70 vs 45% and 33 versus 16%.

So again, certain people can play trick with their words until the moon turns blue...nothing changes.

Posted by: broncosfan

Thanks again for the information!!

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Thanks for the Update Chrismc. I was mistaken and stand corrected. My knowledge come from when memeber of my family last left Scotland in 1975, so there was a huge possiblity it would/could change.

I respectfully ask that a moderator asks Ham to stop with the baited remarks concerning my postings now, if he cant read them there is no use him still argueing about something I am saying if he has NO idea of what I am saying.

Posted by: Traveler

Quote:

Originally Posted by scotch

As I said before, it's possible that a woman might be motivated by both love AND a desire to leave Russia.. so I need some help refining this strategy. But I hope this is a step in the right direction.

scotch.
aka scam-magnet

Its not only possible - buts it likely - and its not necessarily a problem. There are lots of single women - IMO whether its more or less than somewhere else is not the point - through the agencies you have a pre-sorted group where most have already soulsearched the idea of leaving home with a man. Thats something! Agency women start with an expectation of moving - surprising them with the idea of staying home may be a good question - but be aware that it could bring an unreliable result.

No matter where you go people are people - good and bad. There are no guarantees no matter where you are and you have to take some chances. Pre-screening in some manner as you mention is a good precaution - but be sure you don't come across as "damaged".

And of course, if you want someone who will never leave you - just choose someone that other men will not find attractive. (Kidding - still no guarantee.)

Something I have not heard here in a few weeks of me mostly lurking - is the idea of self-examination: "i.e. What is it that this person finds so irresistable about ME??" To me this is the most important question. If you don't have an answer other than "green card" then you might have a problem.

IMO the best approach to screening is to just talk about everything. Women are great at that - and appreciate men who can talk about their feelings - especially the feelings where they feel vulnerable. If you present yourself as "perfect" she might do the same. Choose your moments and talk about the touchy subjects. Then trust your instincts - if you don't feel comfortable just tell her so, tell her why, and say goodbye.

Lastly - men who pay attention to their apearance and who work at having a great life for themselves right now - complete with fun and laughter - regardless of income, personality, or personal beauty - will attract the woman they want (and plenty they don't want). And you don't have to be handsome or rich. We should all look inward and ask ourselves if this is true of us - if not - get to work on that part first - then go find your woman. This will give you a real answer to what I consider to be the most important question - and a woman would be crazy to leave you. If she does - she's not worthy of you - and you still have a great life

In short: We should pre-screen ourselves as well as screen the women.

Posted by: gonlaz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.Humble

Not quite the approach I use but probably of similar results....I usually have found an opportunity to put them under a 'stress test' of some sort (you remember that somewhere in the weddings vows thing they mention "For Better or For Worse").....

Doing this I have discovered either:

1: They bolt like a rabbit

2: They get insanely mad (unstable temperment is undesirable)

3: They take it full on the chin and deal with it sensibly (normally able to knock a gooder my way as a result)

4: Or they are completely oblivious to what you said as to make you wonder "what the heck??"

I like this post, dude

I am not the easiest guy to get along with, to put it kindly. Inna usually scolds me like I am a child (which I probably either am acting like a child, or sometimes I do test her but it's more likely that I am being a baby, heh)

She's all for me moving to Russia, if we can't get this done, etc. and she wants me to know Russian Language, although I struggle "mightily" with it.
She never gets insanely mad and usually takes my moods on the chin and deals with it rationally.

Sometimes, I think I am disappointed it's not a scam because of my foolishness, lol!