Question on intro letters - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

	The Russian Meeting Place: A place to meet people and talk about all things Russian... International Discussions about Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Travel, Music, Russian News, Ukrainian culture, Belarusian Dating, Moscow, Saint Petersburg, Kiev and other intelligent topics about life in the former Soviet Union.

Pages: 1

Question on intro letters
(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)

Posted by: RRR

Hello,

I am just starting to send out letters. I purchased Elenas book, and she recommended a 10-15pg. letter (Was I allowed to write that?). I do have the whole thing translated in Russian.
I sent one out 1 week ago, and 8 out 3-4 days ago w/ pics, and no responses yet. These were all Dating-world.net's profiles, so who knows how old they are.
Anyway my intro letter is about 4.5 pages single spaced. This site recommends maybe 1 page which is what I was originally thinking.
I'm aiming for 18-24 year olds, do you think they really want to read that long a letter? Maybe her book is aiming for older individuals?
Thought I'd post here quick before I send out too many disasters... hah!
So, any comments?

Posted by: scotch

Hiya RRR,

Personally I used to send out about 1 or 2 paragraphs and got plenty of responses.

I made sure I covered:

- enjoyed reading their profile
- liked their photo
- a little bit about why I was attracted to them instead of the other million profiles
- a little about what we have in common in terms of what we're looking for
- an invitation to look at my profile and contact me if she's interested.

If I was doing it while intoxicated late on a Saturday night then I didn’t get beyond the first 2 points..

..but I recommend covering all bases

I don't think they would enjoy reading very long letters, especially if they have to translate it themselves.

plus, you want to save something to talk about in your emails.

oh, and make sure your profile is meaningful and positive.

just my 2 rubles,

scotch.

Posted by: Texas Proud

I agree that a very long letter is not that good....

Mine was about 1 1/2 pages of normal type... I told a bit about myself, education, family, a few things I liked, a few things I did not like... a bit on my philosophy.... and at the end, asked them about three questions (to me, this is important so you can sense if they read your letter)... one of the questions was to get a few more photos....

You do not want to write a BOOK about youself, or there is nothing for her to discover about you!!!

I would then write one personal paragraph about her and why I liked her and then say that I am attaching my 'generic letter of introduction'. It seems some women are put off by a 'form letter'. The lady I am writing told me I was 'horse trading' and not looking for someone with my heart... but, we have now gotten past that and she has my heart!!

Posted by: Mr.Humble

Yeah generally relatively short, to the point, directed to my existing profile and a couple of small questions (this is mostly to see if she actually 'read' the letter).
Also I usually included a photo of myself that is not in my profile (something simple and 'disarming').

So out of 10 letters like this I usually got 1-3 responses if I was lucky. Lots of advice on the subject in these forums....starting to get a little difficult to wade through it all now but it is there (check the 'stickies

Posted by: cedarwind

Quote:

Originally Posted by RRR

Hello,

I am just starting to send out letters. I purchased Elenas book, and she recommended a 10-15pg. letter (Was I allowed to write that?). I do have the whole thing translated in Russian.
I sent one out 1 week ago, and 8 out 3-4 days ago w/ pics, and no responses yet. These were all Dating-world.net's profiles, so who knows how old they are.
Anyway my intro letter is about 4.5 pages single spaced. This site recommends maybe 1 page which is what I was originally thinking.
I'm aiming for 18-24 year olds, do you think they really want to read that long a letter? Maybe her book is aiming for older individuals?
Thought I'd post here quick before I send out too many disasters... hah!
So, any comments?

I also wrote and sent the long letter as she suggested and my response rate was a very big zero..

I then started sending out a 1 to 1-1/2 page letter and then my response rate was about 80%.

Go for the shorter letter and do not believe all that is written in that book as I have found much of it to be just filler material and my GF does not fit most of what she says. I have found this site to be the very best source of information.

Best wishes

Posted by: RRR

Thanks for the input guys, and for your hearing your success in them.
I'll go for a 1 pg. letter, that way they can read it, and not feel pressured to write a long one back.
ok, I have some work to do.

One question:
Is it better to send letter w/ Russian characters as a Word document attachment or just text? I'll be using Yahoo mail.

Posted by: vic2012

I suggest you cut and paste a bit of russian text and send it to yourself. If it comes back as a lot of ?????? then you'll have to wrap the text in a word doc.

I use Outlook, its always worked fine.

Have you switched on Russian or Russian keyboard, in the languages section of your control panel?

Just a thought

Posted by: shaun1000

I have followed Elenas advice and have a four page letter in Russian. I think it is to long and sometimes I don`t write things because I think my lady has already read this in my letter. But then again it has worked for me because I am going to meet a lady at the end of March she is 33 is that classed as the older ladies LOL.

If this does not work out then I will cut my letter down. A good picture helps also. Use what ever you think will work if it doesn`t, change it.

My opinion only
Shaun

Posted by: RRR

Quote:

Originally Posted by vic2012

I suggest you cut and paste a bit of russian text and send it to yourself. If it comes back as a lot of ?????? then you'll have to wrap the text in a word doc.

I use Outlook, its always worked fine.

Have you switched on Russian or Russian keyboard, in the languages section of your control panel?

Just a thought

Yeah, I tried to 'Save a Draft' and it came back messed up. I don't want to change things locally on my desktop, b/c if I customize here, it may work here but not there?.. maybe not.
But, I'm going to stick w/ Word attachments for now. Although it leaves my message body kind of blank.
Edit:
Just thought of a great idea... maybe I should send my English in the message body, and the Russian in the attachment.

I am currently sending a 40K document, and 3 x 40K pics... is that too much for them to view at one time? ...

Posted by: Texas Proud

I copied mine in the text section in both English and Russian and attached the Russian version most of the time...

Also sent three to six 'small' pictures so she could get a look at me... I was told by a number of women to keep the pictures less than 100K... preferably about 50K... if they have a slow connection it takes a long time to download.. they will let you know if they have higher speed if you start to write to each other.

Posted by: vic2012

Quote:

Just thought of a great idea... maybe I should send my English in the message body, and the Russian in the attachment.

Sounds good to me. I always send both English and Russian, it gives her a chance to translate the English for herself (sometimes the Russian translation turns out to be gobbledygook)

I suggest you send one picture (your best and touch it up on photoshop if necessary!) and ask if she would like to receive more.

I would be happy to send you an edited version of my intro letter. You might find something useful in it. I did a lot of research beforehand and discovered key elements that needed to be included. Apart from the Anastesiaweb fiasco, It was very successful and it certainly did the trick for me!

Posted by: scotch

Quote:

Originally Posted by vic2012

I suggest you send one picture (your best and touch it up on photoshop if necessary!) and ask if she would like to receive more.

Vic???! Is this what you mean by "touch it up on photoshop"?

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by vic2012

I suggest you send one picture (your best and touch it up on photoshop if necessary!) and ask if she would like to receive more.

Why touch it up....is this not missleading to her and think about it when you see georgeous women on these dating sites and when you meet in person she is nothing liike her photos due to photoshop etc.

It would just have cost you a lot of money to visit her and a lot of wasted time, just for her to say yeah you look nothing like your 'touched up' photo....thanks but I am not interested in you!!

Better to be natural and honest from the start, in my opinion anyway. Remember it works both ways.

Chris

Posted by: vic2012

Chris I'm not talking about a complete make-over. I'm talking about taking out spots, red-eye, and patchiness etc.

I agree with you. But it's like the difference between turning up in a nice suit or a crumpled one on your first meet. Taking care of your appearance, even with a photograph is important for first impressions.

Posted by: freebird

Hey Mike, Sparky - lets continue our conversations here about intro letters.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

Not really overboard, It was a well thought out piece that even made me swoon!

LMAO I thought it was too long strictly based on the amout of translation that the young lady will need to pay for. Unless she speaks english or ozzie.

Sparky I would definately get the letter translated! Some people say that if you send a long letter untranslated - it won't get read! I think mine cost about $30 to do, I was able to send it to many girls, I only had to do 1 translation.

Posted by: AkMike

You'll need to add russian to your computer also. In the control panel area,
click on regional and languages to install russian. It's pretty easy, even I managed to do it.
If you have it pre-translated send a copy to yourself and save the translated version in your mailbox. Then forward it out after yoiu clean up the fwd: stuff off it.

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by shaun1000

I have followed Elenas advice and have a four page letter in Russian. I think it is to long and sometimes I don`t write things because I think my lady has already read this in my letter. But then again it has worked for me because I am going to meet a lady at the end of March she is 33 is that classed as the older ladies LOL.

If this does not work out then I will cut my letter down. A good picture helps also. Use what ever you think will work if it doesn`t, change it.

My opinion only
Shaun

I followed Elena's advice as well and wrote a long letter. It cost me $180 to have it translated into beautiful literary Russian which means it is about nine pages long. It has been very successful. A lot of women have loved it and commented both on the perfection of the Russian and the substance of the letter. It has never left me without things to say since if done the way Elena describes in her book you are really only sharing a slice - a vital slice - but still only a slice of your life. I have had several women say they have never received a letter like that and it was a joy to read.

I didn't necessarily follow all that Elena said but tweaked it to fit my personality. I have also tweaked it some since I had it originally translated. The nice thing about it is that I can use it over and over and it lays out my own personal distinctives so she can make a decision up front about whether to get involved in a potential relationship with me. I would rather get that out of the way upfront then get involved in a correspondence that a few weeks down the line ends because something that is distinctive about me is not her cup of tea.

My experience has been that ladies both old and young like it, but only some of the older ones will write you back a long letter. Thats okay. The letter still serves as an interesting basis of discussion either way.

Elena recommends you send the letter 3 ways: directly via email, by word attachment, and by postal address (if available). That way the woman is sure to receive it. She also recommends that you let the lady know via the website that you have sent her an email.

Initially I did everything but send via snail mail. Then I downloaded a new version of Word which apparently hardly anyone else can open so that made the second method useless. Then I discovered sometimes the email doesn't go through or ends up as strange symbols even when it is encoded properly. I discovered this quite by an accident when I was following another piece of Elena's advice, to re-send your letter to those who don't respond within a couple of weeks. Lo and behold several ladies never received the original email and several received nothing but meaningless symbols. How do I know this? Because they started talking to me after I sent it a second time. Another lady did receive it but didn't start talking to me until she received it again.

Elena does not recommend sending a long introductory letter through the website. But I received a couple of letters like that from women on the site. They looked and read just fine. So now what I do is send it by email in Russian and send it also via the website. Plus via the website you can track when and if they read it.

Khashyar recommends a fairly long introductory letter. Others say short ones work better. I say to each his own. Do whatever works for you. I personally like and want to get a lot on the table upfront. I want the lady to know I'm serious upfront. I want her to know what life with me might be like upfront. I want her to know I'm not interested in spending months on end corresponding and I want her to know that upfront. If she hits that reply button I want her to do so with her eyes wide open, upfront. I think many women appreciate that and many have told me so, and I have some outstanding correspondence going on as a result.

I have also had women write me back who were not interested and say thank you for the interesting letter but I think we might not be a good match. And thats what I want - upfront.

But that's me. I personally think some ways are better than others but I don't think there is any right or wrong way.

Posted by: freebird

Hi sparky, I just read the first 5 parts of your intro. I hope you don't mind if I post this, it is good advice for future letter writers too.

Just a few initial thoughts. I would not go into too much detail about your close bond with your Ex's in-laws. All you should really be telling in your letter is that you are divorced, and that you remain close & committed to your kids. I would also not mention the reasons your marriage broke up, if she wants to know she will ask. All the girl wants to know is that you are ready to move on to a new relationship. If you write too much about your past she may have doubts. Also, (just my impression here) I think that Russian girls do not like men to have hair that is too long or too short. (Girls am I right? RW don't go for the "Die hard" look?) So in an intro letter I would just maybe mention the hair colour. (better yet send a nice photo with letter)

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by RRR

I would only send one pic and insert it at the head of the letter. If she is interested she will ask for more.

If you set your email client to the proper coding when sending via text there should be no problem. If you are sending via webmail then just make sure the coding is turned on properly in your browser. Personally I would send both the text and the word document.

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by freebird

Hi sparky, I just read the first 5 parts of your intro. I hope you don't mind if I post this, it is good advice for future letter writers too.

Just a few initial thoughts. I would not go into too much detail about your close bond with your Ex's in-laws. All you should really be telling in your letter is that you are divorced, and that you remain close & committed to your kids. I would also not mention the reasons your marriage broke up, if she wants to know she will ask. All the girl wants to know is that you are ready to move on to a new relationship. If you write too much about your past she may have doubts. Also, (just my impression here) I think that Russian girls do not like men to have hair that is too long or too short. (Girls am I right? RW don't go for the "Die hard" look?) So in an intro letter I would just maybe mention the hair colour. (better yet send a nice photo with letter)

Lord have mercy! Don't ever go into details with a potential spouse about your previous marriage or how close you are to your ex's family. Heavens no! Such will send her heading the other way in a hurry. And that is true whether you are dating domestically or hanging out with foreign women.

Okay, I'm calm now :-)

Posted by: sparky74

Thanks freebird and goforit
You've given me much to think about. I would be fine with not discusing my ex-wife but to leave out info about my ex-in-laws would be to me the same as lying. You would need to read the rest of the letter to get a full understanding of why. I would rather be honest and as, someone else wrote here, upfront about my life and who I am and risk finding nobody than be in anyway misleading. The last thing I want is another broken marriage because I fooled someone into thinking I was something I'm not. I would rather be alone than go through another divorce.
Oh, but I would also be happy to leave out the bit about shaving off my hair in summer. After all don't russian women love suprises

Posted by: AkMike

This is only an intro letter. You do not need to cover every detail fully. These details can and should be discussed later in a relationship. Not right now IMO.
Now you're just trying to get her interest.

Posted by: sparky74

I would rather be honest and as, someone else wrote here, upfront about my life
Sorry gorforit. Just read back through the messages and realised I was quoting you. Was a mistake and wasn't trying to be a smartass ( can I say that?) I apologise if I offended because I really appreciate the help and advice I'm getting from everybody here!

Posted by: sparky74

Whoops. Still messing up that "quote" thingy AkMike but I will get there

Posted by: AkMike

Quote:

Originally Posted by sparky74

Whoops. Still messing up that "quote" thingy AkMike but I will get there

Just click on the "quote" at the bottom of the post you want to quote in your new post. Easy!

I'm not saying to fib or even streatch the truth. NO Way! I'm saying to fill in the gaps later,when the topic is brought up. You will want to talk about it then for sure. All I am saying is to wait til she shows interest then fill in the gaps..

Posted by: sparky74

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

Yep ,finally got it. Yeah I know - bit slow on the uptake

I think what your saying about the letter is starting to make sense too. I could still tell her about enjoying time with family but just not stress that I am refering to my Ex-wifes family. It would help with shortening up the message. Is this sort of what you're getting at?

Posted by: sparky74

Quote:

Originally Posted by goforit

No wonder I'm single. Talk about clueless

Posted by: AkMike

LMAO at least you've got the typical Ozzie humor! All you guys (ozzies) that have been on here have a great sense of humor! Almost enough to be Alaskans!

Posted by: sparky74

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

LMAO at least you've got the typical Ozzie humor! All you guys (ozzies) that have been on here have a great sense of humor! Almost enough to be Alaskans!

And as you guys live on the wild frontiers of Alaska you would almost be tough enough to be Ozzies

Posted by: AkMike

Almost??? LOL We send the cheechako rejects south! Some wayyy south! If they get as far south as you are... well,,, that's bad.

Posted by: sparky74

Yeah, our pommy mates rekon they populated our country with the dregs of their society

Posted by: freebird

Quote:

Originally Posted by sparky74

Yep ,finally got it. Yeah I know - bit slow on the uptake

Yes that would be the best, just say that you enjoy spending time with your kids & relatives. The reason why you dont specifically mention your ex's relatives is that the girl might think that you remain close because you want to get back together with the ex. Any girl would be very concerned about that.

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by sparky74

Thanks freebird and goforit
You've given me much to think about. I would be fine with not discusing my ex-wife but to leave out info about my ex-in-laws would be to me the same as lying. You would need to read the rest of the letter to get a full understanding of why. I would rather be honest and as, someone else wrote here, upfront about my life and who I am and risk finding nobody than be in anyway misleading. The last thing I want is another broken marriage because I fooled someone into thinking I was something I'm not. I would rather be alone than go through another divorce.
Oh, but I would also be happy to leave out the bit about shaving off my hair in summer. After all don't russian women love suprises

I'm not saying leave it out but tell it in such a way that you aren't giving unnecessary details. In my opinion it is very important to tell a prospective foreign lady friend upfront about the things that are important and non-negotiable in your life in an interesting and engaging way. But you don't need to spill all the details while communicating the main point.

As for the shaving of your hair, yeah I would probably hold off on that for a little while :-)

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by sparky74

I would rather be honest and as, someone else wrote here, upfront about my life
Sorry gorforit. Just read back through the messages and realised I was quoting you. Was a mistake and wasn't trying to be a smartass ( can I say that?) I apologise if I offended because I really appreciate the help and advice I'm getting from everybody here!

no offense taken