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Pages: 1

Reality check

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Posted by: inlove

I found this on www.privet.com, a russian forum. People there are discussing this situation from a russian perspective. It would be very interesting to hear what you, guys, think.

" Well guys, I hate to be the one to come to this forum and break the news but, my wife Tonya who has been here 30 days tells me she wants to go home.

She does not like the clothing she sees in the stores. They are not from France or Italy and I refuse to spend the money they are asking for clothes like that. Remember, this is America and not Ukraine.

Second, she can't stand the food or our grocery stores. She is a great cook but our stores do not carry Buckwheat or similar items that she is use to. Sorry about that one!!! Remember, this is America and not Ukraine. Remember, she is the one who is here, not me there. I have tried everyday to please give all of this a chance but she refuses.

Everyday I hear how bad America is.
When I ask her why she came to America, she tells me in a very smart-ass way that she thought it would be different. I was expecting her answer to be more along the lines of "because you are my husband and I love you."
What has really put the icing on the cake happened this past Wednesday evening. She was watching T.V., the QVC shopping channel. She told me how much she liked a pair of pearl earrings they were showing. So I made the comment that they were nice and that maybe she would get them for Christmas. In a demanding almost screaming tone, she told me "Not Christmas but NOW!!!" I looked at her and laughed repeating myself about Christmas. She got up, crossed her arms in front of her and demanded that I buy them for her now. That's when I tried to explain that we cannot always get what we want and sometimes we have to wait. But she wouldn't hear anything like that. She stormed off to the bedroom and slammed the door hard enough for my daughter to notice from across the house.

And if that wasn't enough, when I went to the bedroom to once again talk to her, she asked me when I was going to give her 400.00 a month. I was so shocked I could hardly contain myself...but I was calm and asked her to repeat it. Which she did. I told her that I give her money for spending at stores when either her and I or her and one of her Russian friends goes shopping...and that was enough.

She continued to demand that I give her the 400.00 a month PLUS, send 400.00 a month to her son, who is 20 years old and 400.00 a month to her mother who is 78 years old and collecting a pension. (Both live in Skadovsk)

I asked her if this was the only reason she came to America, if she came here for money or to be with me. And she said that she had to come here to be wife me in order to get the money. I'll tell you I dame near dropped dead.

Here is a woman which lives in one of the poorer areas of Ukraine where the average monthly wage is about 75 to 80 dollars. And now she wants me to send her son and mother 400.00 each...each month plus give her 400.00 each month.

I asked her about a smaller amount and she said no. I asked why so much and she said for them to go shopping.
It was then that I knew there would be no recovery from this situation. So I told here in no uncertain terms "ABSOLUTELY NOT" There was no way I was going to do this.
She looked at me and without hes
itation in her voice told me she wanted to go back to Skadovsk NOW!!! I told her to be very sure of this. That if I make reservations, there were not going to be cancelled. She said she was sure and wanted to leave immediately.

So today I proceeded to make her reservations for a flight out of Dulles International to Odessa for the 15th.

Whenever we were together on my trips to Ukraine she was so concerned about me spending money on gifts for my family. I was not spending very much but still wanted to bring things back to the U.S. with me. She would rather cook for me then go out to eat. I even offered to buy her things while in Ukraine and she said no. SO like I said, this was a total shock and surprise to me. And a very hurtful one at that. I had honestly thought that she was it. That she was going to be with me for life.
She played the game so damn well. From the very first time we met, to the time we were married in Kherson, to the interview for her visa and her flight here. All those months and not one clue she was like this.

Well guys, be forewarned. These type of women are out there, not only in America but everywhere. It was an expensive lesson. I have no regrets because I saw and learned alot about Ukraine that I never new before. I enjoyed my time there and would never take it back.

So what do I do now?? I am going to look into getting an annulment from here. There is no doubt that she came here for money and nothing else. Once she has left the Country she has deserted me. "




Posted by: Pin Boy

in love,

thanks for posting this. i'm sure this situation is going to get a lot of action here on the RMP. maybe we'll get some similar stories from others. sit back folks and watch the sparks fly!! - i hope

pin boy



Posted by: Hostile_hostage

Makes you think. Was this the first time she had done this? Hopefully she is one of the few and not one of the many that will go to such lengths just for money.



Posted by: zaniac

I think she clearly got the wrong impression about what living in America, with her husband would be like. $400 to be given to 3 seperate different individuals, lol. I really feel for the guy who wrote this. I have to admit when looking at clothes, I'm clueless about the French/Italian clothes brands that are being sold. I purchased a decent looking Ferraud shirt from somewhere, it cost about Ј20. I noticed Pierre Cardin is big in Kiev, his shirts are everywhere

I think if she had given it some time she would have liked it more, but I guess some people just can't adapt well to a complete change. Also it depends on how well she was prepared for the change.

I think this goes to show that before an FSU woman is asked to marry her partner, she should be made fully aware by her boyfriend, about the various aspects of life in his country and what to expect in a possible future marriage. Simply she should be aware of what her new life will be like.



Posted by: SteveM

Ouch



Posted by: cedarwind

This post sends a chill down the spin!!!!!



Posted by: Pin Boy

the disturbing part is the man claims there were no warning signs...i wonder if there were and he was wearing horse blinders or if this is a jekyll and hyde situation...either way, it's a shame.

as we may have a difficult time wrapping our mind around the FSU economy, residents of the FSU probably cannot understand the day to day household finances in the west. although, in my layman's mindset, i'd say it's easier to understand the former. expenses such as home, auto, health, and disability insurance are most likely foreign (for lack of a better word) concepts along with property and school taxes and all the other variety of taxes that come out of the paycheck to most residents of the FSU. then you have regular investments in 401K plans, Roth IRAs, college savings plans thrown in and you can see where the money disappears fast. forum member jill and her ukrainian husband recently relocated to the states and she stated that her husband is amazed at how quickly money can go here.

pin boy



Posted by: Jason

The guy sounds like a bit of a jerk to me: his wife asks for buckwheat and all he can say is "Sorry about that one! You're in America now!"

My guess is that there is more to this breakup than his one-sided story suggests.



Posted by: Spakoyna

My wife just read this post! She thinks the woman did not want to stay with the man! She thinks she did this so the man would have no problems sending her home! Thought you would enjoy my wife's opinion!



Posted by: JoneWad

Saw this months ago on another thread. Turns out she is pregnant and wants to have the baby in Ukraine.Her husband doesn't find out she is pregnant until she is back in Ukraine. I don't remember her logic exactly but I think a lot of it is was attributed to hormones and insecurity. They were having a rough time and she was afraid he was going to divorce her and would have custody of the baby since it would be an American citizen and she was still Ukranian. She did not speak English very well which further contributed to their problems. She thought that if the child was born in Ukraine then it would be harder for him to get custody of the child. Once she gets back to Ukraine she wants to come back to America. After that he quit posting. Maybe the whole thing is bogus.



Posted by: JoneWad

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spakoyna
My wife just read this post! She thinks the woman did not want to stay with the man! She thinks she did this so the man would have no problems sending her home! Thought you would enjoy my wife's opinion!

You have a smart wife! That is exactly what she was trying to get him to do.



Posted by: Spakoyna

Quote:
Originally Posted by JoneWad
You have a smart wife! That is exactly what she was trying to get him to do.


I Think so! :-)



Posted by: ham

again the whole MOB thing is not some cure-all snake oil like agencies portray & many suckers are willing to believe.
On another forum [these internet reports must be taken at face value] a man claimed he had a good job & all. He brought his FSU wife here. After a while he lost his job. His wife left for the FSU under the cover of selling her apartment to help things out, never to be seen again.



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