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Letter Replies
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Posted by: Hostile_hostage

Has anyone received a letter where you receive replies to a question or questions you haven't even asked.
This happened to me today and obviously has got me thinking.
Did i get a reply meant for someone else?
Did the translator mix her letters up?
Or was it just a case of the translator getting carried away?

I was wondering if it was normal for Russian women to wear their heart on their sleeves. Will they open up to someone they haven't actually met in person.

Unfortunately I've heard of guys being caught up in 'scams' and I just don't want to end up being one of them.

Posted by: mistermopar

Yes it could be that you recieved answers to someone else's questions,or maybe the translator just got letters mixed up.
I would keep an eye on future letters from them to see if it happens again.If it continues,you can either ask about it or drop them.

I have had a girl open up to me before with out meeting me,when we did meet,she was exactly like she was in her letters and phone.A very open person.
But not all are like this,each individual is differant.

Randy

Posted by: Hostile_hostage

Cheers Randy.

I guess I'm just on 'Red Alert' because of some of the stories I've heard on this forum.
An English guy 'John' is coming home from Russia today and apparently his trip turned into a nightmare/farce. He travelled all that way and spent 15 minutes with the woman he went to see. Then she contacts him to say thanks but no thanks. That's just awful.
I could have a plan 'B' and have recommended others to have one. ( Having other women i could meet )
I guess I'm not that type of guy.
I really like the person I'm in touch with.
So, I've dicided to make a plan as to what i can do if things do go pear shaped. I'll do all the tourist things and turn it into a holiday.

Like you said everyone is different. I'm not going to judge a person by the actions of others.
Who knows, she could be the woman I've been looking for?
I'll go with a possitive outlook, but I'll also have a 'tourist plan' as to what I'll do if things don't work out.

Ian

Posted by: mistermopar

That is terrible to hear about John.I feel bad for him.
Myself I have never had a back up plan.If it gos sour like one trip did,I contacted an agency in the area and they had lots of girls for me to meet.But none of them were right.It was still a great vacation.
I all ways seem to manage ok.

The girl I am writing /phoning right now asked me the question....
What if when you meet me you find that you do not love me enough to continue.
I then asked her the same question.
She replied...It would be a pity for you to travel that far and not be with someone you enjoy being with,then she said...I have a lot of friends that are single,and if it happens that we are not for each other,I will introduce you to my friends.

WOW,my head was spinning.Of coures I do hope it will work out for us if we are going to meet.

Randy

Posted by: Hostile_hostage

Hey Randy. Seems like we are in the same boat as it were. I really hope things develop possitively between you and the lady you are in touch with.
I guess if things didn't work out romantic where our ladies are concerned we could always remain friends with them.
Do you think John fell for a Dating Agency Scam? It would seem that way!
I hope that when he comes back he puts this Agency on every 'blacklist' out there. ( That's if he's 100% certain that it was a scam) I really hope he got to meet some other girls!

Does your girl write to you about how you make her feel and what she could offer you?
Only asking as I want to know if this is normal for a Russian woman to be so open with a guy she has never met?

Ian

Posted by: mistermopar

Yes I do hope that John lets us know what happened,and if an agency scam,should be reported.But we should not jump to conclutions untill he has told his storey.

My new friend dose not write very much,she does not know how to write English,but she sure can speak it well.
She only writes little emails,4-5 sentences and short sentences.
But we have been talking just about everything.from her work,daughter,exhusband,that she says was not a terribale man,just did not work out.Ex still phones daughter and is in contact with them.
She has been single for about 10 years.
So we are doing good with talking about everything.

Randy

Posted by: zaniac

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hostile_hostage

I could have a plan 'B' and have recommended others to have one. ( Having other women i could meet )
I guess I'm not that type of guy.
I really like the person I'm in touch with.
So, I've dicided to make a plan as to what i can do if things do go pear shaped. I'll do all the tourist things and turn it into a holiday.

Like you said everyone is different. I'm not going to judge a person by the actions of others.
Who knows, she could be the woman I've been looking for?
I'll go with a possitive outlook, but I'll also have a 'tourist plan' as to what I'll do if things don't work out.

Ian

Exactly what I did on my first visit and exactly what I will do next month, if things turn out the same way. Although as some guys know I did not see much of the lady on my visit, I turned it around and made a proper holiday out of it. I went to some of the touristy bits, walked around and explored the local area. That's what I did last time and in a way I would be quite happy to do it again. Time goes much quicker if you can keep yourself busy during the day, which in turn would help you forget about any negative experience you may have with the lady you want to meet. I admit on my trip I was a bit down after the first meeting, because I thought the lady was not interested in me, but in the end this proved not to be the case. At least walking around areas, gave me the chance to tell people things that I did (like on a proper holiday).

Regarding setting up a plan B to meet other women, it's good if you can do this. I'm not the kind of guy to mess about to much and like to keep my trips hassle free where possible. For me, arranging another lady to meet would be too much short notice to get them to meet in Kiev. I wouldn't want the hassle of trying to get the right train to Kherson (overnight) or decide last minute to goto Kharkov either.

I think one possible way to reduce the chances of the need to use a plan B, would in fact be to get the lady to meet in Kiev. If the relevent arrangements are made, providing the lady makes the journey, she would be less likely to drop the guy having come the distance. Just an idea I've always had, but what do you guys think?

Posted by: mistermopar

Myself,I like to concentrate on one lady,I would find it to difficult for myself to have a bunch of them to meet,and then to explain why you are unable to see one,one day and not the next,oh I'm sorry my dear,I'm going to meet with another lady,but you are in the top 10....NO THANKS.

If it happens it don't work out with her,I will either find another while I am there or just enjoy the holiday.

Quote:

I think one possible way to reduce the chances of the need to use a plan B, would in fact be to get the lady to meet in Kiev. If the relevent arrangements are made, providing the lady makes the journey, she would be less likely to drop the guy having come the distance. Just an idea I've always had, but what do you guys think?

I would think even if she had traveled to Kiev to meet,if it was not ment to be,yous were not right for each other,why would she stay?
She could just as easily go home,and start writing to the next guy that she thinks maybe the one.
Just my opinion,dose not mean it is right.

Randy

Posted by: zaniac

Quote:

Originally Posted by mistermopar

Myself,I like to concentrate on one lady,I would find it to difficult for myself to have a bunch of them to meet,and then to explain why you are unable to see one,one day and not the next,oh I'm sorry my dear,I'm going to meet with another lady,but you are in the top 10....NO THANKS.

I would think even if she had traveled to Kiev to meet,if it was not ment to be,yous were not right for each other,why would she stay?
She could just as easily go home,and start writing to the next guy that she thinks maybe the one.
Just my opinion,dose not mean it is right.

Randy

I thought that idea might get a mention. If she was 50/50 but the guy was still keen, it would be more likely she would last it out in Kiev, than what she possibly would if the guy met her in the town in which she lives in?

"I'm going to meet with another lady,but you are in the top 10!" - a quality line, one to be used in the dating scene

Posted by: Hostile_hostage

Perhaps an interesting thread would be about first meetings. How the meeting went and if it led to subsequent meetings etc ( Negative meetings vs possitive meetings )

For a lot of us this is about making life changing decisions. It's not all about chosing a picture out of a brochure saying, "I'll have that one". Then if things don't work out, just going back to the/or another brochure.

Posted by: EasyTarget

Quote:

Originally Posted by mistermopar

She replied...It would be a pity for you to travel that far and not be with someone you enjoy being with,then she said...I have a lot of friends that are single,and if it happens that we are not for each other,I will introduce you to my friends.

Talk about being pragmatic. I wish all women were like that.

Posted by: mistermopar

LOL,I almost fell off my chair when she had said that.But we are both hoping for a good out come when and if we decide to meet.

Randy

Posted by: EasyTarget

Actually I was thinking about her comment. If she was serious and from the way you state it it seems she was. Then it actually says something very positive about you. How many women have you dated where it didn't work out for one reason or another; but you thought the person was so great that you would inflict, I mean introduce them to one your buddies?

I wouldn't subject any of my friends to the loons I have dated. I am not that cruel. :-)

Posted by: clever1

Quote:

Originally Posted by mistermopar

That is terrible to hear about John.I feel bad for him.
Myself I have never had a back up plan.If it gos sour like one trip did,I contacted an agency in the area and they had lots of girls for me to meet.But none of them were right.It was still a great vacation.
I all ways seem to manage ok.

The girl I am writing /phoning right now asked me the question....
What if when you meet me you find that you do not love me enough to continue.
I then asked her the same question.
She replied...It would be a pity for you to travel that far and not be with someone you enjoy being with,then she said...I have a lot of friends that are single,and if it happens that we are not for each other,I will introduce you to my friends.

WOW,my head was spinning.Of coures I do hope it will work out for us if we are going to meet.

Randy

Randy, I notice you posted her reply, but not your own ? ( being nosey) lol

Get her to introduce her friends to us, that way if she has no friends left, she has to accept you ............lmao

John

Posted by: ham

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hostile_hostage

Has anyone received a letter where you receive replies to a question or questions you haven't even asked.
This happened to me today and obviously has got me thinking.
Did i get a reply meant for someone else?
Did the translator mix her letters up?
Or was it just a case of the translator getting carried away?

I was wondering if it was normal for Russian women to wear their heart on their sleeves. Will they open up to someone they haven't actually met in person.

Unfortunately I've heard of guys being caught up in 'scams' and I just don't want to end up being one of them.

i don't think there are many alternative answers...but i understand Wong has to be really disappointed while getting a letter talking about ebony skin...Leroy is furious because he hates szechuan soup she said she'd cook for her asian prince...Jim is not a mexican stallion and the word stallion offended his deep religious beliefs and Pedro is not a lutheran pastor...
well...things happen.

Posted by: jpierce55

My friend in Kiev made that offer, but friendship was decided already. I think it is different than if you dated in person in the first place, in that case you know some chemistry exists. In this case you might have friendly feelings for somebody and know you like them, but the chemistry may not happen. If you have good friends looking for somebody it seems a logical step.

Posted by: clever1

Maybe the best solution is to meet in another country (preferably a hot one)
that way if they show up you know they are keen, and if not you can spend your days looking at the latest bikini creations.

Just a thought(but what a thought)

John

Posted by: mistermopar

Good to see you back John.

Quote:

Randy, I notice you posted her reply, but not your own ? ( being nosey) lol

I told her that I was planning on our meeting to have the best out come possibale and I didn't want to be thinking of other girls,just her.

Quote:

Get her to introduce her friends to us, that way if she has no friends left, she has to accept you ............lmao

Now theres an idea,when and if I go I will check them all out for you.

Randy

Posted by: clever1

Quote:

Originally Posted by mistermopar

Good to see you back John.

I told her that I was planning on our meeting to have the best out come possibale and I didn't want to be thinking of other girls,just her.

Now theres an idea,when and if I go I will check them all out for you.[I]

Randy

Cheers Randy,
Good to be back,
Now we know why your called Randy ...........lmao

John

Posted by: broncosfan

I have a quick question. I have been writing back and forth with a girl for 2 months now. I would send and receive letters atleast every other day. I booked a flight to see her on Jan 24th. I have not seen any red flags and she has assured me that all arangements will be made and that I will be comfortable during my stay. I know it is the holidays in her country and her busiest time of year "singer" but I have not received a letter in over a week. I looked over the last letter I sent to see if I sent any red flags. I mentioned that I have a roommate at the time being for one, and second that I still pay my ex-wife's rent so she can finish school. Am I just being paranoid because I already have tickets, or would you think that those comments make me apear financially unstable "having a roommate" with baggage "still supporting my ex-wife"

Posted by: jpierce55

I would be paranoid to but it can't be helped can it. Try not to worry and hope an pray.

In all likely hood you have nothing to worry about one week is very little time.

If it did scare her off look at the bright side you don't want her anyway.

Posted by: Hope

Quote:

Originally Posted by broncosfan

I mentioned that I have a roommate at the time being for one, and second that I still pay my ex-wife's rent so she can finish school. "

Sorry, but those ARE a big, big red flags... Especially the fact that you still support your ex-wife.

Quote:

Originally Posted by broncosfan

those comments make me apear financially unstable "having a roommate" with baggage "still supporting my ex-wife"

I think you answered your own question... Sorry again...

Posted by: broncosfan

Hope, Thanks for the feedback. There is more to it than that. I have a daughter with my ex-wife. She has only held a part time job for the past ten years. The reason I still support her is to get her where she can fend for herself and our daughter, not because I'm holding on to old emotions. The roommate situation is because I am waiting to have property sub-divided. I live with a friend of mine that I have had since the 6th grade. It is not your typical college roommate situation......Would you write a letter stating these things or would that look kike I'm back peddling. I'm still not sure if I should just wait a few days and see if she writes

Posted by: Hope

Quote:

Originally Posted by broncosfan

There is more to it than that. I have a daughter with my ex-wife.

Well, that explaines a lot. And those two comment no longer sound like a red flags. I hope you also explained all that to your girlfriend. There is a big possibility that she got a wrong impression, like I did. I think you should e-mail or call her, and tell her that you've been worried about her because you haven't heard from her... And make sure that she has a clear picture about your ex-wife and roommate situation (especialy yor ex-wife!!!)

Good Luck!

Posted by: clever1

Quote:

or would you think that those comments make me apear financially unstable "having a roommate" with baggage "still supporting my ex-wife"

Hmmmmmmm is Hope a journalist,
if your gonna quote, quote the text as its meant, not as you perceive it, the way it was said was a question, not as you put it Hope, a statement.

Quote:

those comments make me apear financially unstable "having a roommate" with baggage "still supporting my ex-wife"

John

Posted by: jpierce55

Bronco I would not email yet. If you send her an email or call her explaining you will come off paranoid. That IS a red flag. Give a few more days and if you don't hear anything ask her what is going on and if everything is o.k.. Maybe work something in gentle about the roommate and that you are working on getting new property, but don't bluntly state it.

I don't know if you should mention the ex or not, no recommendation for that, sorry.

Posted by: Hope

Quote:

Originally Posted by clever1

Hmmmmmmm is Hope a journalist,
if your gonna quote, quote the text as its meant, not as you perceive it, the way it was said was a question, not as you put it Hope, a statement.
John

Dear John,
I am not a journalist, I just wanted to point out specific things that could push the lady away. The beginning of a realtionship is such a fragile thing, and stuff like language, cultural difference, "Mars-Venus" difference, etc, can play a dramatic role...

Posted by: Hope

Quote:

Originally Posted by jpierce55

Bronco I would not email yet. If you send her an email or call her explaining you will come off paranoid. That IS a red flag. Give a few more days and if you don't hear anything ask her what is going on and if everything is o.k.. Maybe work something in gentle about the roommate and that you are working on getting new property, but don't bluntly state it.

I don't know if you should mention the ex or not, no recommendation for that, sorry.

He definately shouldn't call and try to explane anything. Because the reason of her disappearance could be something else. But I tnink it is a good idea to call and ask if everything is well with her, beacause he is worried about her. That will get him an extra point beacuse he cares about her, and will give him some closure... Don't you think?

Posted by: mistermopar

Quote:

But I tnink it is a good idea to call and ask if everything is well with her, beacause he is worried about her. That will get him an extra point beacuse he cares about her, and will give him some closure... Don't you think?

Welcome to the RMP Hope,it is all ways nice to see more females here for their opinions.

I agree with you that maybe he should call because he is worried about her,and sure could give him an extra brownie point.

Randy

Posted by: Hope

Hi Randy! Thanks for your warm Welcome!

Posted by: chuckles1970

Hmm, interesting thoughts on letter replies. Things were going or are going well with Anna who I've been writing to but I have some new concerns. Early on she sent an email that was very similar to an early email, and this past week I sent a long letter that was pretty in depth about trust, and thoughts, and that I planned to stop corresponding with other women and just continue with her until I go over to meet her this spring. I was expecting a normal letter with some indepth thought and comments, but instead I got a letter with a tiny new comment and a word for word paste of an old letter from early December. The first one I kind of blew off and thought okay, well the first four letters I hadn't got to know her, but we've been corresponding now for nearly three months. I am thinking either a) I'm not really that big a deal to her or b) she is corresponding to several gentlemen and forgot she sent "that letter" to me before. Either way it isn't exactly enamoring me for a or b, a because well we've been writing for some time and I had a fairly emotional deep letter and especially the comment about stopping writing to other ladies should have been noteworthy (it would to me), and if b she is still corresponding to so many that she resends a letter word for word then how serious with me is she. Okay, I realize ladies can write to several men and the chances of them visiting is small, but would you guys consider this a bit of a red flag?

Posted by: ham

Quote:

I sent a long letter that was pretty in depth about trust, and thoughts, and that I planned to stop corresponding with other women and just continue with her until I go over to meet her this spring. I was expecting a normal letter with some indepth thought and comments, but instead I got a letter with a tiny new comment and a word for word paste of an old letter from early December.

i'd think ten times before investing too much on this person.
Someone who copies&paste (probably from some repertory) isn't the best catch.
Letters should show some personalized feelings...if she's pasting from a repertory, what is she thinking about?
Not you.

Quote:

I mentioned that I have a roommate at the time being for one, and second that I still pay my ex-wife's rent so she can finish school.

well, there is chance you moved a few slots backwards in her "best " list.
There are probably several other men in line.
however
you don't have to feel ashamed & you don't have to explain...you are who you are.
Most men going the MOB route are just like you, anyway.
You have been honest & that's all.
If she seeks some wealthy braggart with no strings attached, she'll find plenty thereof over the internet.
however
i think most of them are lying or misrepresenting things and that is for her to find out.
I suggest (in your next attempts or whatever) that you disclose your situation (worded better than you did perhaps ) immediately: a) you can't hide all the time; b) it's you and c) that will weed off people who have other men in mind ( as it's their right ).

Quote:

I agree with you that maybe he should call because he is worried about her,and sure could give him an extra brownie point.

i think whatever happens, she'll never admit (if so) that her opinion of him changed because of what she learnt...

Posted by: clever1

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hope

Dear John,
I am not a journalist, I just wanted to point out specific things that could push the lady away. The beginning of a reltionship is such a fragile thing, and stuff like language, cultural difference, "Mars-Venus" difference, etc, can play a dramatic role...

I was merely pointing out that some people don't read the whole thread, and if you don't quote the whole, then things get misconstrued.
Welcome to the RMP,
I take it from the link you posted that it means you ?

John

Posted by: Hostile_hostage

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuckles1970

Hmm, interesting thoughts on letter replies. Things were going or are going well with Anna who I've been writing to but I have some new concerns. Early on she sent an email that was very similar to an early email, and this past week I sent a long letter that was pretty in depth about trust, and thoughts, and that I planned to stop corresponding with other women and just continue with her until I go over to meet her this spring. I was expecting a normal letter with some indepth thought and comments, but instead I got a letter with a tiny new comment and a word for word paste of an old letter from early December. The first one I kind of blew off and thought okay, well the first four letters I hadn't got to know her, but we've been corresponding now for nearly three months. I am thinking either a) I'm not really that big a deal to her or b) she is corresponding to several gentlemen and forgot she sent "that letter" to me before. Either way it isn't exactly enamoring me for a or b, a because well we've been writing for some time and I had a fairly emotional deep letter and especially the comment about stopping writing to other ladies should have been noteworthy (it would to me), and if b she is still corresponding to so many that she resends a letter word for word then how serious with me is she. Okay, I realize ladies can write to several men and the chances of them visiting is small, but would you guys consider this a bit of a red flag?

I've wondered if you get a few lines written which you will understand are for you, and then the remainder could be for anyone.
If the letter is being translated perhaps the translator has too much work on and happily 'cuts and pastes' to save her time.
If your 'girlfriend' is doing her own writing to you in English then there may be problems.
You wrote her such a personal and sincere letter and got a very impersonal reply.
I would explain over a phone conversation how you feel and listen carefully to what she has to say on the subject.
I'd still correspond with other women as this relationship seems to have some issues which may not be resolved.

Posted by: jpierce55

Cut and paste especially after any length of time writing is a bad sign. If it was the first handful of emails maybe, especially if she uses a translator. I would use caution.

Hope if she told him she will be extremely busy and may not reply I think an email asking how she is would be best, a call may also seem pushy and paranoid.

Posted by: Hostile_hostage

Hope if she told him she will be extremely busy and may not reply I think an email asking how she is would be best, a call may also seem pushy and paranoid.[/QUOTE]

I diagree about talking things over on the phone. Why bury your head in the sand when you can have a conversation and draw conclusions from that. I wouldn't say you had to interogate the poor girl. Just have a normal conversation telling her how much she means to you and that you feel she is the one etc. Listen to whatever responce you receive and hopefully any doubts/ misunderstandings will be put to rest.

Posted by: markgm

Quote:

Originally Posted by broncosfan

Hope, Thanks for the feedback. There is more to it than that. I have a daughter with my ex-wife. She has only held a part time job for the past ten years. The reason I still support her is to get her where she can fend for herself and our daughter, not because I'm holding on to old emotions. The roommate situation is because I am waiting to have property sub-divided. I live with a friend of mine that I have had since the 6th grade. It is not your typical college roommate situation......Would you write a letter stating these things or would that look kike I'm back peddling. I'm still not sure if I should just wait a few days and see if she writes

Call her Bronco if you have her number R/W & FSUw are sensitive about the things you have mentioned.
For your own peace of mind telephone her and say that you were worried that you had not heard from her and you were calling to make sure that she was safe and well.

Take care Mark

Posted by: mistermopar

You have called her before to talk?So whats the problem with calling her now.
You don't even have to mention the letter in your conversation,just see if she acts as she normally dose when you call her.Then go from there.
Make it a ordinairy regular phone call.

Randy

Posted by: broncosfan

Thanks for the advise. This is definately a whole new ball game.

Posted by: Hope

Quote:

Originally Posted by clever1

I take it from the link you posted that it means you ?John

Hi John,

Yes it does

Have a nice weekend!
Nadya.

Posted by: Pin Boy

hello hope and welcome

when i click on your link, i can only see somputer gibberish??? what is the subject of the link?

pin boy

Posted by: Hope

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pin Boy

hello hope and welcome

when i click on your link, i can only see somputer gibberish??? what is the subject of the link?

pin boy

Hi Pin Boy!
The link is a "pregnancy ruller":-)

Posted by: Pin Boy

pregnancy ruler???

tried again, but still just letters, numbers, and symbols....

Posted by: Hope

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pin Boy

pregnancy ruler???

tried again, but still just letters, numbers, and symbols....

hmmm........ It works when I click on it....

Posted by: clever1

It works for me too.
Good job they don't do one for sex, the 3 minutes would be over before ya got the page up, on dial up ...............lmao

John

Posted by: deccie

PNG is a graphics format just like gif and jpeg.

It's designed to be unencumbered by a lot of patent issues that surround the other two formats.

If you open the link and only get gibberish then it implies your browser doesn't know what to do with png files..

Posted by: markgm

Hi Guys and Gal,

When contacting women try to get there phone number and address as soon as possible especially if letters are via emails after about three to four letters ask for an address and a contact number even if she does not speak English and you do not speak Russian.
Ask her to write you a letter, and send a couple of photo's by post and you will do the same when you recieve her letter.
If the woman is interested in you she will give you her address and telephone number this will clear out not all but most of the scammers.
If going through a dating agency still get her number and contact address after a couple of letters contact her by telephone as soon as possible even if it is a 2 minute conversation you both dont understand move it away from the agency if you can so you have direct contact with the woman.
If she does not have a telephone get her to organize a number of a friend relative or someone she knows and time and date for you to call.

When going to see any of the women if she is not willing to meet you in person at the airport or train station this should ring some alarm bells if she says she cant afford it tell her you will pay her back at the airport or train station. Dont fall for the sick mum aunt child or friend ( although this can still be true but is unlikely)
A women thats interested in you will find a way to be there. A decent woman even if she does not like you when meeting you will still feel obliged to make sure that you are not stranded.

Hope this helps