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Slow Response
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Posted by: Redriveroutlaw

Greetings, since is this is my first post, I hope I don't make a fool of myself, so I will keep it simple. I have been corresponding with a lady from Lugansk Ukraine for about 3 months now, she appears sincere and I have even spoke to her on the phone for a few minutes. She tells me she works at an Internet Cafe, but is not allowed to use the computers to send personal emails while she is working. OK, no problem really, but I might get 1 email from her every 10 days. It just seems strange to me that someone who works at an internet cafe only answers maybe 1 email every 10 days. When she does reply, she lavishly explains how much she wants to meet me and everything we can do together in her city. I really have no reason to suspect this lady is a fraud because she always answers most every question. But if I only hear from her briefly every 10 days, my frustration level really intensifies because there is NO response. I'm not expecting a letter from her every day, but if she is as sincere as she tells me, then she should respond a little more than she does. Am I wrong in thinking this way? I'm just curious if there are other guys out here in this type of situation?

Posted by: Dennis/Natasha

Hi,

If she is really interested and even works at an Internet café’ she would write everyday. Natasha and I fight online scams. From my experience and I think I can speak for Natasha, we could not wait for even just one more word. She said she could not sleep and to be honest I hung around my computer more often. Simply legitimate woman are looking for love and would not string you along,

****Make certain you DO NOT send her money no matter her story or sugar coated 10-day letters. *****

An easy scam is: “Dear I would write more often but it is expensive. Pleas send me please $50 so I can write more often and pay fees at the café’.”

Understand it will not cost her this much and if she has lets say 10-15 guys at $50 not a bad wage for there.

I say move on and better luck next time. Don’t settle for less then you want and commitment to any relationship is the most important foundation for a lasting one.

Good luck!

Posted by: Redriveroutlaw

Thanks for the advice. What's really funny is that she has never asked for money, never even hinted to the fact that she needs money. I understand the fact that most Ukrainian/Russian women don't have a computer at home, but if someone works at an internet cafe, then yes, they should be able to write daily. I might think of someway of letting her know I'm concerned about her only writing once every 10 days. I just have to think of a way of asking without it sounding like I'm being demanding, which I'm not being. You are right though, I might be better off to just move on. But I'd like to see how sincere she really is before just disregarding her because I really think she is sincere. Thanks again for the advice.

Posted by: Dennis/Natasha

I am not saying 100% she is not for real. However you need to know this is how the set up works. They play the helpless woman and offers you the guy a chance to save the situation. Fishing for a PLEASE PLEASE write more.

They offer a solution.

So keep your head up and eyes open. The fact she spends 30 minutes on you answers very 10 days means notthing if she thinks of it as work.

If she works at a internet Cafe' she as ample access so be ready for the set.

Posted by: Woody

Welcome to the forum guys. My view on your predicament Red is that there is always ample opportunity to put together some conspiracy theory. OK so I there are scammers out there but I wouldn't label every dip in communication a cast iron guarantee that you've come across one. The one redeeming fact is that she has not asked for cash. Give her the benefit of the doubt. I expect that beyond what she has already told you there are other things not revealed. Yes, politely ask the difficult question and you will probably get a very good answer. Tell her your concerns. Frustration comes of not understanding or being aware of the big picture.

Clive

Posted by: Dennis/Natasha

I agree with woody are indications of not a scam yet those hard questions need good answers and only she can answer them.

Posted by: ConnerVT

Sorry, Woody, but I have to think you may be a little too naïve on this one. It does have many of the telltale marks of a scam. I know, for the reason I’m engaged to a Russian woman is from being scammed with an almost identical story (except, it was her friend who worked in the Internet café). It took about 14 letters before she found out from the travel agent that for $350, she could get a tourist visa to come to the US (she was 26 and single).

Red, best thing to do is keep your money and your promises to yourself, and think with your head, and not your emotions. Grifters know how to push emotional buttons. Keep your emotions in check for now, and you will know after time what the truth is.

Posted by: Redriveroutlaw

Thats some really good advice, our conversations have not really become serious, we have talked about maybe meeting sometime in her hometown. Other than that, I have made no promises to her whatsoever. She never complains about how much she hates it where she lives and how desperately she wants to leave (unlike alot of lady's I have ran into) and she talks alot about her great friends, so I really have no reason to distrust her other than her story about the internet cafe. You know how it goes, sometimes people get wrapped up in their emotions and leave all common sence behind, I try to avoid that. I'm really glad I ran across this forum, thanks again for the advice.