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Russian women, clothes and attention to their appearance
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Posted by: Lena

Hello Everybody,

An American woman (who is not a member of our forum and who is dating a Russian man) wrote me a letter asking me about Russian women and their attention to their appearance.

Because she had read information on Russian websites that Russian women care so much about how they look, she was worried that her Russian boyfriend expected her to pay a lot of attention to her appearance, while she liked to dress more casually.

I have included below part of the letter that I wrote her regarding Russian women, clothes, and attention their appearance.

I answered her based upon my personal experience and observations, and of course, some Russian women will have a different point-of-view.

Lena

***

[I deleted some the personal references and aspects from the begining of the letter]

...I would like to say that every person is an individual and has his or her own style of life, wishes and beliefs in life. It doesn’t mean that we should follow and do as society wants and thinks. We can of course have our own wishes.

About your situation: I want to tell you that you shouldn’t worry and shouldn’t change yourself in your style of clothes just because you are dating a Russian man. I know that a lot of websites give information that all Russian women care about their appearance, clothes, and style.

Sometimes I even read comments that Russian women do not know what to wear, for example, to the shop or just to a picnic.

But all Russian women live completely in another environment (than in the West) and feel that they have to follow the social norms of the Russian society where they live.

Why?
And why they are so concerned about how they look?

I will give you an example from my point if view. I came from Mogilev, a very small town in Belarus. A lot of Western people and people abroad do not know this country at all. Belarus is very close to Poland, Russia and Ukraine. There is a ratio of at least 4-5 women to one man in my town.

When you go to the disco, or just go out somewhere, you notice many more women than men. So if a woman does not care about or give attention to her appearance, then she feels that she will never find her second half and no one will pay attention to her at all. Russian men and Russian people in general say that if a woman is not bright with her appearance, then she is as a “grey mouse”. It’s possible to hear that “Oh, she is a “grey mouse”- do not smile,

I know that the English translation sounds funny

– But this is the expression.

Everybody knows that most men are at first attracted to a woman’s appearance and then become enamoured with her personality. I think that it’s a reality and everyone knows that men are men. First, they pay attention to how the woman looks, and then after to who is she. If you come to Russia, Belarus or Ukraine, then you’ll see that women are very stylish and beautiful. It doesn’t mean that they want to be better than other women, it means that if she will be not in good shape, that she believes that she might one day stay alone because for Russian men, it’s not difficult to change a girlfriend or a wife, because the fewer number of men and abundant number of women mean greater choices for men

.

Many Russian women appear to be beautiful, intelligent and in good shape. This is because they live in such an environment and they- I would like to say in this way- HAVE TO be attractive and stylish. Even if you are looking for a job, any boss and your colleagues will pay attention to what you look like.

To be honest, when I came to America, I began wearing more casual clothes in Los Angeles (casual compared to Russia) because people do not care much about this at all and there is a completely different life and beliefs. In my country, it’s impossible to come to any public place, to your work or school, in jeans.

I remember when one of my work colleagues came to the school where we worked in jeans on a Saturday (usually, on that day, the headmaster had the day off). But on that day, the school’s headmaster came to school and this woman received a reprimand.

So, do not be surprised that there is this kind of life and environment, and that people follow these social customs and norms.

And even if a Russian woman moves and changes the country where she lives, most of them will retain this habit of being well-dressed and looking good.

[I wrote to this American woman:] So, do not worry, live by your principles and by your own personal style of life, and I‘m sure that your relationship with your Russian boyfriend will not be affected just because you like to dress in a more casual style and do not use make up. I understand your situation and completely support you. Here, in the West, everything is much more open and free.

[some personal references were deleted]...

My best wishes to you and success in your relationship.

Lena

Posted by: OlenkaKyiv

Great letter, I think that lady will be glad to hear this and won't be worry too much about cloths

Just wanted to add one statment I have read recently and I really liked it :

"if a girl is walking on the street and all men are looking at her, it means she is young,
if a girl is walking on the street and all women are looking at her, it means she wears good and stylish cloths"

Olenka