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Children in marriages between Russian men and Western / American women (language, etc
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Posted by: Khashyar

I was wondering how the issue of children is negotiated in marriages between Western (or American) women and Russian men?

Are the children usually able to learn the Russian language, even though their mother speaks English as her native language? Yes, it is true that some American women married to Russian men do learn Russian, and perhaps could speak Russian to her children. But, what would be the main spoken language at home? Would the father speaking Russian to the child be enough to teach the child Russian, in the face of an English speaking Society?

I also wonder if there are other negotiations that need to be made in regards to raising children.

What are the Russian cultural expectations versus the American / Western ones in child rearing?

Khashyar

Posted by: B82

That is something that is important to me. Retaining culture is important to the both of us. My husband and I want our son to speak Russian because he will already know English since his mom speaks English and he'll be speaking English at school. My husband speaks to him ionly in Russian and although he is too young to understand, I think it's great.

Posted by: Jill

This is a great topic and I wish I knew the answers to these questions!

We speak Russian at home, so I assume the baby's first language will be Russian. And actually my husband insists on this (he stocked up on Russian children's books and DVDs before we left

) The problem is making sure that she is prepared to enter an English speaking school system, so I guess I will start speaking some English to her when she gets a bit older...Although our situation is even more complicated by the fact that we may eventually move back to Kiev, so then she will need to know Ukrainian for school (there really aren't many Russian language schools left there). Maybe we'll have to start flying babushka in for summers

Posted by: Jill

Ah, I also recall that I had a Ukrainian professor in grad school (in the US) who only spoke Ukrainian at home and he said that when his daughter started kindergarten she didn't know much English and used to get teased a lot. As a result, she started refusing to speak Ukrainian and would only speak English to him

Posted by: inlove

My child did not speak any English when we got here. He was 5, and was supposed to go to kindergarden right away, but I kept him home for a few months, teaching him basic English so ohe could communicate with others. Once he went to kindergarden, it took him a couple of months to catch up with other children... I honestly think that we, adults, tend to exaggerate possible language problems that our children might face.. In reality, once you put them in a particular language environment, they start speaking very quickly. It is the "formal" language that seems to create a problem.. Such as learning a proper writing grammar, or spelling, etc.. Speaking is easy..

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Educationalist suggest that the best time to start teaching anything to a child is b4 the age of 7. If basic things are started after this it becomes more difficult as the brain is already starting to deteriorate, sorry for the gloomy picture.

I don't know about the other states of Australia but in New South Wales, the Department of Education assists ethnic groups to set up Saturday schools where the kids learn about there cultural heritage and language. This is something I am extremely supportive of apart from the fact that it takes the kids out of the family atmosphere for another day of the week.

On a sort of side note, some indigenous communities in the Northern Territory are rejecting bilingual education as they believe the kids are not learning English well enough to survive in the modern world. They have publicly stated that they will teach the indigenous languages at home properly rather than have the kids educations suffer.

If I ever get the opportunity to even consider this for my own family, I would like a mixture of both languages used at home. I feel it would help me and my partner come closer together, but I would stress the need for the children, in Australia, to know English well b4 they enter the education roundabout. I would also hope that once the kids entered high school they would take their other native language as a course for their Higher School Certificate.

As for other agreements or conditions, I think that whatever works is best. This is a long term type of thing, to think only in the short term is probably going to end up in probelems and I would think this would be problems for the children.

Posted by: lindochka

Quote:

Originally Posted by OzGuyLooking

Educationalist suggest that the best time to start teaching anything to a child is b4 the age of 7. If basic things are started after this it becomes more difficult as the brain is already starting to deteriorate, sorry for the gloomy picture.

I don't know that it's a case of the brain "deteriorating." Studies published within the last ten years have shown that the part of the brain which processes languages is "hard wired" by age 5. Children who are not exposed to foreign languages before age 5 will have a harder time acquiring them later, but children who have this exposure prior to age 5, even if they aren't actually bi/multilingual by age 5, will have a much easier time with language study, even later in life.

B82, you and your husband have the right idea!

Posted by: MYXOMOR

As far as negotiations about raising children, I would think they are the same as in any marriage...
I think it is great if one or both parents speak Russian to teach their child the language as early as possible; I am sure it will be appreciated by your child in the future.