“What it’s like being married to a Russian woman” (part 5-- appreciating a good man) - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

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“What it’s like being married to a Russian woman” (part 5-- appreciating a good man)
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Posted by: Khashyar

“What it’s like being married to a Russian woman” (part 5-- appreciating a good man)

5) Lena (and I believe most Russian women) are appreciative when their men, whether Western or Russian, show them kindness, and treat them with respect. I am surprised that Lena feels very grateful at behavior which I feel is just normal kindness. Lena often tells me that I am a “good husband,” and she noticeably shows me her affection by hugging me or even by cooking me something special, or just by regularly cooking me food so that I have something to eat when I come home from working (since she is working at home right now). Lena does say that when she works more outside of the house, that both she and I will do the cooking, and in fact, I often cook dinners for us like Thai food (which I enjoy cooking).

My impression is that, because Russian women believe that relationships with Russian men are not ideal, that Russian women are very appreciative of a man who does not abuse women and who are not drunk. Although I do not want to create and forward stereotypes, Russian women generally feel that Russian men generally no not make good husbands. Lena tells me this all of the time.

Lena would tell you that she could list dozens of examples where Russian men have deserted families, been unfaithful, or have behaved I ways that have been detrimental to the family. One example of this is the marriage of a friend of Lena’s. Lena’s friend’s sister is beautiful and has been married with her husband for several years. They have a young child. When this friend contracted breast cancer, and needed a serious operation (which are more risky in Belarus), her husband told her that he wanted a divorce. Of course we do only know one side of that story. But the impression that Russian women have is that they cannot trust most Russian men and that these kinds of occurrences happen often.

Posted by: Keith

Khashyar:

I have heard for years about the tendency of Russian men to drink to excesses to the extent that it destroys families but I've often wondered if that's not just an unfair sterotype...some unfair Western characterization. Of course, many Western men do so too. Do these men tend to remarry? There must be a tremendous number of Russian men sitting alone having a vodka. I wonder if there are any relaible research or statistics to support this conclusion. I must admit that I am impressed with the sense of compromise that you and Lena have seemingly been able to find...and that's important!

Keith

Posted by: Khashyar

Hi Keith...

I hear what you're saying about whether alcoholism in Russia is a stereotype, or a statistical fact...

I am searching for research about alcoholism in Russia right now, and will post this in our forum.

I can tell you FOR CERTAIN, that my wife Lena and Russian female friends of Lena believe that alcoholism is a BIG problem in russia, and among Russian men.

I will post the research and statistics that I find.

Khashyar

Posted by: jlsilicon

After visiting there in russia, I do see a high ammount of drinking; and my new wife from russia agrees. She tells me about many men who drink their life away, instead of spending time with their family. There are many common jokes IN russia about this. And I saw as many liquor shops as food shops on the streets.

Posted by: waiting123

Interesting article, a few years old, but answers the stereo type question, But I often wonder if we have the same rate of alcohol abuse here, it is just more construed as "Social drinking"

http://math.hope.edu/tintle/articles/alcohol.pdf

Posted by: RobOhioGuy

Quote:

Originally Posted by waiting123

Interesting article, a few years old, but answers the stereo type question, But I often wonder if we have the same rate of alcohol abuse here, it is just more construed as "Social drinking"

http://math.hope.edu/tintle/articles/alcohol.pdf

If I read this correctly they catagorize "heavy drinking" as the equivlent 3 beers or glasses of wine. Got to be honest, I dont really think that is "heavy drinking"

Posted by: neil277

Quote:

Originally Posted by RobOhioGuy

If I read this correctly they catagorize "heavy drinking" as the equivlent 3 beers or glasses of wine. Got to be honest, I dont really think that is "heavy drinking"

Hello

3 beers is not much, from what i know is that drinking is not the issue with a Russian women.

English men love to drink its normal just like Russian men but its how you treat a lady that matters.

Its about are the two of you well matched and if you are the two of you will be together for life.

Regards.

Neil

Posted by: metaforest

Quote:

Originally Posted by RobOhioGuy

If I read this correctly they catagorize "heavy drinking" as the equivlent 3 beers or glasses of wine. Got to be honest, I dont really think that is "heavy drinking"

I beg to differ:

The values for a heavy drinking day quoted in the study are 120g and 80g respectively, for men and and women.

This is not _beverage_ weight, it's ETHANOL weight!!

so for vodka this is translated to beverage weight by multiplying it by 1/0.4
in the study... a little generous in my opinion since most common vodka is 40 proof this should be 1/0.2 or 20% ethanol content.

To estimate this into volume (liters) we use the definition of a gram: 1cm of water at STP. Vodka is lighter than water, but not by enough to throw the numbers off by more than 10%.

Expanding:

1g ethanol x (1/0.4) => 2.5g of Vodka => 0.025 liters of Vodka
0.120 X 0.025 => 0.3 liters of Vodka for men
0.080 X 0.025 => 0.2 liters of Vodka for women

That's for 1-2 days/per week for men and 1-3 days/month for women!!!

To get to 40g/day we are talking 0.1 liter of Vodka every day.

To get there with beer:

conversion ratio: 1/0.033 = 30.303 (1 gram of beer = has 0.033 grams ethanol. so 30.303 grams of beer has 1 gram of ethanol. .303 liters is 0.634 pints)

40g/day = 0.040L x 30.303 = 1.212 liters, or about 3 pints per day.

The real issue here is frequency. Men are drinking 0.5 liters of Vodka/WEEK and women are drinking 0.5 liters of Vodka/PER MONTH!! And these are the hard drinkers!!

These numbers seem to me to represent the functional drunks, not the hard core drunks.... I also think that these numbers are very conservative. I've seen stressed-out Russians drink, and they get off the hook more often than this study would indicate....

I've seen a good number of Americans that drink more than this study indicates....
=B-)

Posted by: FrancoPUA

As man who is having an extremely good and positive experience with a Russian woman in his marriage with her I would say that on my experience there are many other factors which make of a Russian woman an extremely good wife.

- Having bad experience with Russian men is for sure one of the factors that make Russian women very good wives. In psychology this is called the Contrast Principle. In a word: if someone has been living without something he/she can appreciate those things much better. Anyway this is not the only one.
- There has been no feminism in the former SU. Women do the healthy thing of doing their own business without too many political implication. This is extremely healthy.
- There is an extremely strict division of competencies in "things which belong to the man´s duty" and "things which belong to the wife´s duties" or as expressed by my wife:"Your job is to hunt and bring the food and my jobs is to cook for you". And believe me they DO respect this division.
- As a man is very important as Provider in Russia the woman DOES respect him and recognize his WORTH as Provider of the family. Instead in the West often the situation is that a man who wants to be a Provider is a nice guy idiot who "does all what she wants".
- Russian woman are more in touch with their YIN. In a word they are better in using "female weapons" which feels from a masculine man as EXTREMELY GOOD.

The only men who really do not fit with Russian women are the ones who are scared of taking the Leadership role with them. When they meet men like these Russian women are first surprised and soon after they eat them for breakfast and ingurgitate them faster than the corn flakes..

Posted by: bleushkva

I appreciate my husband being drunk.

I still don't know what it's like to be married to a Russian woman, though.

Posted by: bleushkva

I think Putin was making funny liquer laws so people don't drink as much like rationing and outlawing hard liquer.

That must not work, though.

Posted by: Cheburashka

Quote:

Originally Posted by bleushkva

I appreciate my husband being drunk.

That may be a first for me. I don't think I have ever heard a woman say that about her husband.

Posted by: bleushkva

Being drunk is funny. We don't drink alot anyways.