Typical or common opinions and attitudes in the FSU - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

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Typical or common opinions and attitudes in the FSU
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Posted by: searcher

After having conversations with some people, it seems that many people (particularly women) seem to be rather pessimistic and quite cynical.

I was wondering if anyone else has noticed this?

It seems that there is a certain self degradation among some of these people. They are good people themselves but seem to distrust the intentions of their fellow country (wo)man. Why?

Where does this stem from?

It can be a rather depressing way to view life and others (other people).

Posted by: Pin Boy

just a guess...maybe because things are so competitive in daily life since the breakup of the SU. and this thought has been advanced by many others - they are so often disappointed by their governments that optimism is slowly killed off.

pin boy

PS - why do you ask searcher? anything in particular prompt you to raise this topic?

Posted by: searcher

Yes.... I have noticed some (FSU) ladies that seem a bit cynical or negative towards their fellow country women.

The women that often post here are very positive but in other places - forums, IM's, etc there are some that harbor these negatives.

I wonder why....

Here is a Q and A session and the replies from a lady (I won't quote the source):

Man: A woman says men in her city only think of women as sex objects.

Woman: it is usual fairy tales
we have different men, it is problems of luck

Man: Ah!
So what do you think about this... this lady's reasons, etc?

Woman: some women don't have problem to find good man at all, and other women meet only ****

Man: True

Woman: I am sure her first reason is leave Russia and second is to have a man in home for sex, and so on

Man: (regarding the men they meet) I have noticed that and I think it sometimes is because of they way the met men or present themselves.

Another excerpt:

Woman: now is very hard to find good man in internet

Man: I agree

Woman: we , women see love other way then men

Man: ok, that is true but tell me how do you see love?

(Further into the topic

Woman: usually women who search foreign men don't like or even hate russian men, they ofteen have had bad experience with russian men such as domestic violence or other

These are only excerpts but in the whole, it seemed rather negative. Seeming to imply that many women are looking to "escape" but when you read post from women that are ACTUALLY here, they are quite positive and many of them said they were indeed looking for love and not a means of "escape", etc...

Posted by: searcher

It just seems often to me that many Russians have a rather pessimistic view...

When asking about travelling to Russia, I was told that it was a racist country, etc...

I prepared for the worse but really didn't believe it.

When I arrived in Russia most of the people were VERY nice and some were so hospitable.

The only "incident" was from some drunken teens outside of a mall. They made some comments but that was all.... I didn't have any problems with anyone else, in fact many people were quite curious about me and the nature of my travel.

But to say it is a "racist" country is exaggerated.... I don't think it is any worse than any other country.

Also, sometime I have heard []some[/i] Russians say negative thing about the honesty and integrity of their country (wo)men. Again, it may be a bit true but mostly exaggerated....

Posted by: Leprechaun

I think its a few rotten apples and jealously creeping in, before every one was the same, now with the break up and some having more than others its inevitable that this feeling of why cant i have what they have will appear.

We in the west are a bunch of begrudgers, now east meets west, so does begrudgery and all that comes with our ways.

Posted by: Chrismc

This is what I found, may not answer your question but may help throw some light on it.

Whilst in the Ukraine and even before visiting I discussed with quite a few women why they did not look for men from their own country. I would say 90% of them told me men from the Ukraine are immature, do not plan anything, do not plan ahead, do not plan for the well fare of their family and have low self esteem and so on. As I do not know many Ukrainian men I cannot really comment, but when I was there I met maybe 20+ women (not dates) from all walkjs of life, these were ordinary workers in various jobs and some who were business women and 80 - 90% were involved in relationships with foreign men. OK I know this is not a big sample, but it was odd they all more or less told me the same.

Another thing I was told and witnessed first hand, not everything is better since the break up of communism, for instance the health service, the utilities provisions all seem to be worse! Iryna told me the state does no longer care for the health of its people, during Soviet times you could drink water from the tap, now you can't and she gave me other examples which was she said were better in communist times. However she did go on to say the problem then was that you never knew when the knock on the door would come!! She also said there is a lot of jealousy now, but there never used to be. There are very rich people and poor people and not much in between and the rich are getting richer etc etc.

Another thing she told me was that you did not see beggars on the streets in the old times, the state provided for them. I was also told by a number of women that the men have found it harder since the break up of the FSU because then everything was done for them, if they needed something the state would provide it to an extent. After the break up of FSU the women just got on with their lives as normal because they were used to bringing up the family and working a job, but many of the men could not handle this and some now cannot and took to drink, which is another reason the women look abroad.

So I suppose when you add all this and everything else these people have been through it is not surprising that they can be pessimistic etc.

Chris

Posted by: searcher

Yes, Chris, very true!

Its just that the negativity sometimes suprises me.

It seemed, in that conversation, that she was implying that other women has other motives... perhaps suggesting they had alterior motives... BUT I know from talking to the RW that live in the west already the overwhelming majority said they were looking for love.

They are here now and don't have a reason to lie. Assuming they had reason previously, they wouldn't need to continue and I doubt the ones with alterior motives would take the time to reply simply because they wouldn't want to talk about it or reveal their true self.

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by searcher

Yes, Chris, very true!

Its just that the negativity sometimes suprises me.

It seemed, in that conversation, that she was implying that other women has other motives... perhaps suggesting they had alterior motives... BUT I know from talking to the RW that live in the west already the overwhelming majority said they were looking for love.

They are here now and don't have a reason to lie. Assuming they had reason previously, they wouldn't need to continue and I doubt the ones with alterior motives would take the time to reply simply because they wouldn't want to talk about it or reveal their true self.

You will always get the gold diggers etc, but the ones I mentioned in my post above were all looking for long term loving relationships. They felt they could not get this at home and that is why they looked abroad. Maybe the fact they say they could not find this at home also added to why they were negative or pesimistic?? and add to that the fact that the men outnumber the women and men seem to have the choice of the younger ones, so the ones that are 30+ or even younger seem think there is no hope for them?? of finding a good man??

All things taken into consideration, including past history and backgrounds, it is easy to see why negative attitudes could be common place.

Chris