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Russian men + Russian women in expat culture
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Posted by: etcetera

Apparently there is no forum which fits us, since I am a RM with a RW....but I have been living here for so long that Russia has become a distant country, so I could also post in the other forum.

I had a terrible experience with "American women" and eventually ended up finding a RW on a Russian internal site, I don't think she was thinking about leaving at all. She is a very sincere person and I appreciate her enormously. So she will join me here. I really don't want our children to grow up in the land of chaos that the former SU has become, nor do I want them to become stereotypical brainwashed high school students and turn into Americans. I want them to have the best from both cultures. The rich literature and history of Russian plus the pioneer and independence spirit of America's manifest destiny.

So our situation is much different from the norm. I am not sure if she considers me a "foreigner" or a russian, since I am both and neither. We certainly don't communicate in English, even though she is making attempts to study it.

Posted by: Texas Proud

He Etcetera

I think your read what this forum is incorrectly.. I have not gone to look, but from what I can tell it is a forum for 'talking' anything Russian... along with many other things...

Most seem to be men who are looking for a woman.. not all 'Western'..

So, post away...

And, I think you will have the same problems with getting visa etc. for a wife to come over.. maybe not, but I would think so..

Posted by: inlove

Quote:

Originally Posted by etcetera

Apparently there is no forum which fits us, since I am a RM with a RW....but I have been living here for so long that Russia has become a distant country, so I could also post in the other forum.

I had a terrible experience with "American women" and eventually ended up finding a RW on a Russian internal site, I don't think she was thinking about leaving at all. She is a very sincere person and I appreciate her enormously. So she will join me here. I really don't want our children to grow up in the land of chaos that the former SU has become, nor do I want them to become stereotypical brainwashed high school students and turn into Americans. I want them to have the best from both cultures. The rich literature and history of Russian plus the pioneer and independence spirit of America's manifest destiny.

So our situation is much different from the norm. I am not sure if she considers me a "foreigner" or a russian, since I am both and neither. We certainly don't communicate in English, even though she is making attempts to study it.

You are a russian immigrant, you don't really have a good idea what modern Russia is. You grew up in American culture, and you live in American culture, even though you don't want to accept it for yourself.. Yeah, there is no forum for Russian immigrants looking for Russian brides, but it does not matter. Formally you are an American citizen, and you grew up here, so you are, essentially, an american, even though you might not want to admit it..
Apparently, you cannot find yourself in either of the cultures - no Russian, no American. It is sad, but there are many people like that, you are not alone. You miss "ol good days", when Russia was not "a land of chaos".. I wonder what days were those.. Soviet Union?

You can ask your bride a question what she considers you to be, foreigner or a russian. I'm sure she will tell you.. What important is.. who do you consider yourself to be? And how can you bring up children in the culture that you despise? How do you prevent them from turning into Americans?

Posted by: skinsfan

my thoughts on this are simple.....as parents, you can create a balanced education for your children .......along with the American traditions you can instill the Russian traditions. if possible you can visit Russia with the children and share the rich traditions of Russian culture. i agree with you that American schools often teach views based on the teachers personal ideals..it becomes much worse at the University level, but the values you teach at home to your children will be the foundation for their lives. you and your wife will be the models the children will learn from....do not worry, all will be okay...

Posted by: GreenBarb

What you have to remember is that YOU are the biggest influance on the lives of your children. So you must find a way to strike a balanace between the two cultures that your children are going to be influanced by, like it or not.

Posted by: Keith In Kodiak

I was born in the US, as were my parents, yet when people ask me my nationality I say "Irish." At least I do so in the US - when overseas I say "American."
And my family is no exception. Most American families maintain at least some of the customs and traditions of the "old country," whether that be Irish, Polish, Mexican, whatever. This fades as intermarriage with other ethnic groups dilutes things.

Yet, this is part of the charm of America. To celebrate your own heritage does not denigrate anyone elses. I think your vision of combining the best of both cultures is in keeping with the best traditions of American... culture!

Keith in Kodiak

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