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Belarusian & Venezuelan?? (Latina woman and Belarusian man)

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Posted by: Kasandra

Hello !

I have found very good information about Russian culture, I like this forum! thank you !

I have been living in the USA for 10 years but I'm Venezuelan. I have been dating my Belarusian (Mozir) boyfriend for 9 months. He's been in the US for 2 years. I love him so much , he has a great heart but he's driving me crazy with his jealousy and other things. He was very sweet at the beggining but the last 4 months he's turned evil. In Venezuela, we're very warm and its completely normal to meet someone and right there give a kiss on the cheek, he gets so mad at me and tells me I need people's attention, he won't understand or accept we're different, I'm very friendly and I think, considerate.... sometimes I smile to him and then I when I turn my face I don't smile anymore because I'm thinking on something else or I dont want to show him I dont feel good that day and he says I'm fake or that I'm turned "American", I just think he doesn't have to put up with my bad moods.... He gets offended by everything and anything I do or don't do. I'm 25, latina ,passionate and very open and confident sexually . He's 22, we have amazing chemistry when we're together but my sexuality seems to bother him, he keeps having dreams where I'm having sexual encounters with many man ,he goes crazy when I leave my house and tell him I'm going somewhere. ( he lives with his parents, I live with my sister). I tried to break up with him 9 times (he's counting and reminding me), simply because HE is the one who's not happy with me ,he won't let go and of course I'm weak.....and I love him and tell him so all the time! but funny thing , he never says he loves me and if I ask him, he avoids the question...aaahhh! I dont get it !

Any difference between Russian and Belarusian man? he says he's not russian, is Mozir like country? I'm from a city, Caracas and we both live in Las Vegas. He doesn't like Russians here....is he having a culture shock? Any info on Mozir man?

Thank you so much !

Kas



Posted by: Khashyar

Hi Kas,

Welcome to the Russian Meeting Place.

I look forward to reading your thoughts and contributions in the forum.

My understanding about Russian and Belarusian culture is that they are very similar, if not practically the same. Nearly all Belarusians speak Russian as their first language, and Russian is spoken everywhere in cities-- stores, government offices, etc...

Mozyr is a town in Belarus. There is a chance that it is such a small town, that Belarusian culture is more identified with than is Russian culture, but... Belarusian and Russian culture seem practically the same when you are visiting Belarus. But ask your boyfriend about what he considers the differences.

As far as the jealousy..... It seems that he seems insecure. Perhaps he is naturally jealous and insecure, perhaps he feels insecure about the relationship because the two of you broke up 9 times (which might make many people feel insecure about a relationship, fearing that it might break up again).

Russian people kiss their friends on the cheek in Belarus and Russia, so I'm not sure why he feels that is unacceptable, unless he simply feels insecure.

I think that communicating with him openly (and listening fully to what he has to say) might help clear some things up for the two of you.

I wish you the very best in your relationship, and please keep us updated.

Khashyar



Posted by: Jill

I hate to sound so pessimistic...But it really doesn't sound too good for you two. Pathologically jealous people (as it seems your boyfriend is) very rarely change. Unless they get professional counseling. Does he realize that he has a problem with jealousy? Or does he essentially blame you for his jealous thoughts and behavior? If he can admit that he is the one with the problem, then maybe he can get some help. He's pretty young, though--does he generally have the maturity to admit to his faults and mistakes? If not, you really only have two options: 1) Put up with it and get used to it (but would you really be happy?), 2) Dump him for good (or at least until he makes some sincere effort to change). Frankly, you are partly to blame in this in the sense that you keep taking him back--that probably only encourages him to behave in the same way.

Quote:
Any difference between Russian and Belarusian man? he says he's not russian, is Mozir like country? I'm from a city, Caracas and we both live in Las Vegas. He doesn't like Russians here....:


As Khashyar mentioned, Russian and Belarusian cultures are fairly similar, especially when viewed by an outsider. However, a patriotic Belarusian will never let you confuse the two As for not liking Russians in LV--I see nothing strange about that. My husband also dislikes Russian immigrants in the US for various reasons. And after two years in the US, he should be more or less over the major part of culture shock.



Posted by: Eryk

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kasandra
Any difference between Russian and Belarusian man? he says he's not russian, is Mozir like country? I'm from a city, Caracas and we both live in Las Vegas. He doesn't like Russians here....is he having a culture shock? Any info on Mozir man?


There are basically two types of people from Belarus: there are genuine Belarusians who speak the Belarusian language and regard Russians as imperialist colonists and there are the aforementioned Russians who do not really acknowledge that Belarus has any right to exist and regard the Belarusian language as "bad Russian spoken with a Polish accent". If your boyfriend comes from the former group then he may well be offended and frustrated by the fact that he is constantly mis-identified as a 'Russian' over there ...similar to the way an Irishman might resent being called 'English' or a Bolivarian might resent being called 'Spanish'.

Eryk



Posted by: Khashyar

I created a new seperate thread for the discussion about Russian and Belarusian language and culture in Belarus, since that is an important seperate subject:

http://russianmeetingplace.com/foru...read.php?t=5437



Posted by: Kasandra

Thank you so much for your advice !! I really apreciate it !



Posted by: Khashyar

You're welcome, Kasandra...

Please let us know how things develop, and feel free to share more of your story in the forum.

Khashyar



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