Comdian "Robin William's" plan for peace - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

	The Russian Meeting Place: A place to meet people and talk about all things Russian... International Discussions about Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Travel, Music, Russian News, Ukrainian culture, Belarusian Dating, Moscow, Saint Petersburg, Kiev and other intelligent topics about life in the former Soviet Union.

Pages: 1

Comdian "Robin William's" plan for peace
(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)

Posted by: American

>"I see alot of people yelling for peace, but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So here is one plan".

1. The U.S. will apoligize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past and present. You know Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noreiga, Milosevic, Hussein and the rest of the "good ole boys". We will never "interfere" again.

2. We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, Middle East and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through the holes in the fence.

3. All illegal aliens have 90 days to have their affairs together and leave. We"ll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. They are ILLEGAL, France will welcome them.

4. All future visitors will be throughly checked and limited to 90 days unless givin a special permit!!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be avaliable to anyone. We don't need anymore cab drivers or cashiers at 7-11.

5. No foreign "students" over the age of 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attain classes, they get a "D" and back home baby.

6. The US will make a strong effort in becomeing self sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskian wilderness. The Caribou will have to cope for awhile.

7. Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10.00 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go some where else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough)

8. If there is a femine or any other natural catastropy in the world, we will not interfere. They can pray to Allah or whom ever, for seeds, rain, cement or what ever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the Army. The people who need it the most get very little, if anything.

9. Ship the UN head quarters to an isolated Island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lock up for illegal aliens.

10. All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, No one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer.

11. The Language we speak is ENGLISH. learn it or LEAVE......

"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying "Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses'. Shes got a base ball bat and shes yelling. "You want a piece of me"?

>Isn't that a winner of a plan??

Posted by: lester

Nice one!

"Many a true word is spoken in jest!"

as we say this side of the pond!

lester.

Posted by: tanya3475

[11. The Language we speak is ENGLISH.

Is it?

Posted by: Eryk

Quote:

Originally posted by American
[B"The Statue of Liberty ...[/B]

Was designed, built and gifted by the French ...such a pity so many Americans don't understand 'irony' ...if they did (or were at least educated enough to know the "Statue of Liberty" is about as "American" as "Denim") they'd understand why that diatribe is *really* amusing

Eryk

Posted by: lindochka

Nothing to do with Robin Williams, thank the gods.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/williams.asp

And yes, we do speak English here in the US; not the Queen's English, however.

Posted by: tanya3475

As much as i would like to, i wouldn't call American English...Sorry...

Posted by: American

>I think it was just a joke. My friend from Iraq sent it to me and I thought I would share it with you all. Its not to be taken seriously, just humour.

Posted by: lindochka

Quote:

As much as i would like to, i wouldn't call American English...Sorry...

Oh, don't be sorry, Tanya. Just think of it as a culturally-based difference of opinion. You probably haven't met many people who speak American English correctly, and perhaps you're unfamiliar with the differences in English as it's spoken in various parts of the English-speaking world outside of England (not to mention in different areas of the US). For people interested in language and linguistics these differences (and the hiistory behind them) can be fascinating, but I imagine for others the differences could be confusing, or perhaps merely boring.

Eryk,

American, that diatribe was funny in a way that was utterly unintended by anyone involved in circulating it.

Posted by: Jill

Quote:

For people interested in language and linguistics these differences (and the hiistory behind them) can be fascinating

Guilty as charged!

I can recommend a fascinating book called "Made in America" by Bill Bryson which presents a very lively history of the origins and development of American English. What is particularly interesting is that there are some elements of American English which are more closely linked to Old English than the equivalant elements of contemporary British English! And that makes sense really as the early English settlers were cut off from England which allowed aspects of their speech to retain more "purity" (although it seems absurd to use the word "purity" when speaking of any language). But with tongue planted in cheek, I dare say that in some ways comtemporary American English is more English than English

A small joke...Of course American Enlgish has, at the same time, absorbed elements of many other languages due to all those wave of immigrants

Personally, I think it's silly to state that the language most Americans speak is not English. I can't think of a single respectable linguist who would argue otherwise. Of course American English is one of several English dialects. And American English itself can be further broken down into several main dialects. So English is overall a very rich language indeed which has allowed for a number of variations across the globe.

But, yes, it is a well worn joke. As was said (by Oscar Wilde?), we have everything in common with the Americans, except of course our language. Well, and then there's the famous song from "My Fair Lady" ("Why can't the English?") which laments that "there are even places where English completely disappears; why in America they haven't used it in years." Silly cliches really.

Although another point relevant to mention: English is not the official language of the US. America actually has no official language

Posted by: tanya3475

[QUOTE=lindochka]Oh, don't be sorry, Tanya. Just think of it as a culturally-based difference of opinion. You probably haven't met many people who speak American English correctly, and perhaps you're unfamiliar with the differences in English as it's spoken in various parts of the English-speaking world outside of England (not to mention in different areas of the US). For people interested in language and linguistics these differences (and the hiistory behind them) can be fascinating, but I imagine for others the differences could be confusing, or perhaps merely boring.

Lindochka, dear, i didn't mean anything bad by saying that here people dont speak English English...by the way i have MA in Linguistics and yes, i am VERY familiar with all the differences, and yes, they do fascinate me, but English here in the US is so drastically different from the UK English that my British friends (and myself in the beginning) had trouble understanding it...Too many differences in grammar, vocabulary, pronunciation etc. so that is the reason why i prefer to call the English spoken in the USA American

Posted by: Chrismc

The BBC are this month (August) running a Voices Project.

Quote:

Voices is a season of Radio and TV programmes in August 2005, presenting a snapshot of the ways we all speak across the British Isles in the early 21st century. At its heart is a ground-breaking recording of 1,000 voices across the British Isles.

From farmers in the Glens of Antrim to black Londoners in Peckham, from Treorchy to Taunton, the geography of the UK can be mapped in accents and dialects. The diversity of the country is reflected in the many languages - both indigenous and immigrant - now spoken here.

Our voices are a fundamental aspect of our identity. How we talk can express where we are from, and much that has happened to us by way of culture and education. It can reflect a common identity, but it can also serve to exclude and differentiate between people.

We want you to tell us on the Voices website about the languages, words, accents you use, your styles of talk and how the way you talk has shaped your life. And in late August 2005, programmes across the BBC will celebrate Voices.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/voices/yourvoi...ut_voices.shtml About the Voices Project.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/voices/results/wordmap/ A dialect tour of the UK.

Tells you about a lot of the hundreds of dialects in the UK, may be of interest to some of you.

Chris

Posted by: lindochka

Quote:

Originally Posted by tanya3475

Of course you didn't, dorogaja Tanyukha, that was obvious. And of course, it would be ridiculous for Americans to speak English as it's spoken in England. Your advanced studies in linguistics certainly must at least have touched on the concept that language, any language, is not a static thing.

But I'm so surprised that you and your British friends found understanding American English to be such a trial. The grammatical differences are really rather minor (collective nouns being treated as plurals in British English and as singulars in American English, that sort of thing) and vocabulary differences seem mostly to be in the area of slang (which could vary from region to region within a city, i.e. Cockney, which hardly resembles anything that comes out of the mouths of other Londoners).

As for pronunciation, if you and your British friends found American English so difficult to understand, I can only imagine how daunting it would have been for you all to have faced the challenge of the aforementioned Cockney, let alone the Liverpudlian, Mancudlian, or Glaswegian accents.

Here's an interesting little article on some of the differences between British and American spelling. Seems we Yanks may be more the linguistic purists than many would prefer to think.

I still think it's simply a culturally based difference of opinion but YMMV, as we say here in the US.

Posted by: tanya3475

Quote:

Originally Posted by lindochka

I still think it's simply a culturally based difference of opinion but YMMV, as we say here in the US.

Lindochka, my studies in Linguistics have touched many concepts and im entitled to my own Linguistic conclusions and theories...You are saying it Would Have Been more daunting for my friends and me to understand British dialects, but how do you know i didn't hear and experience them? Why would you use Conditional Mood in reference to someone you don't know about? As a matter of fact though, i find these dialects more likable (as a linguist of course) therefore i understand them better. Once again there are so many theories and beliefs in Linguistics that i will not try to arque anymore
Best of Luck,
Tanusha (diminutive), not Tanukha (vulgar, slang)

Posted by: lindochka

Quote:

Originally Posted by tanya3475

Perhaps if you reread my post the meaning of the phrase you took out of context to cite will be slightly clearer. But then you didn't really want to discuss grammar, did you?

So, you "find these dialects more likable" -- I find the soft western pronunciation of my grandparents' spoken Russian much more likeable than what is deemed "standard" Russian these days. I wouldn't attempt to pass off my personal preference as anything other than that.

As for diminutives, I've observed that they are often a matter of custom and personal preference. I'm sorry you find "Tanyukha" vulgar. We have three of them in our family, all quite lovely ladies. But of course we're not Moskvichki (nor are we attempting to give anyone the impression that we are or "aspire" to be).

Have a pleasant afternoon!

Posted by: inlove

Oh yeah, nothing better than a good dick measuring contest, especially when it comes to language and/or culture!

Posted by: tanya3475

If you are looking for Such a contest, INLOVE, you hit the wrong thread

Posted by: American

>I was in a Mc Donalds in Romford, England with at the time my girlfriend whom is english and her 7 year old niece. We had just come back for a trip to the London Zoo. We were in Mc Donalds getting something quick and her niece wanted to go there, so we did. She is 7 and was a little out of control, but she did listen when you talked to her, but she was kind of being smart with the fact that my American english was funny sounding to her. So I told Patricia, my girl friend to talk to her and she did. Now I said later on, out loud with everyone hearing me, that. "Your niece needs a good spanking on her fanny" ok, if your from America, no big deal at all. In England "fanny" is a very, very bad word which at the time I did not know, so everyone there like looks at me like I am insane or something, she later explained it to me, the significance on what I said. I didn't know.....and there is alot of that slang type of phrases there, in fact english blocs use more slang then Americans do.

Posted by: searcher

LOL, American!

That reminds me of a friend of mine. Her name was Karen and she was from Liverpool (I wonder what hapened to her as she went back to the U.K.)

So, her parents went out to a bar one night. Her mother (not knowing American slang) yells across the bar,

"Howard pass me a fag!!!!!"

She was quickly educated that in American English a "fag" is a homosexual whereas in England a fag is a cigarette

I could only imagine if someone had in fact "passed her a fag" she wouldn't know what to do with him and he would be totaly useless to her

Posted by: tanya3475

LOL my neighbor is British and she's lived here for 15+ years but still, talking to Americans she constantly says "What?"