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My Russian friend Natalya
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Posted by: John in USA

Hello to All,

This is my first time on this site. One week ago I received and email from a Russian woman. I responded and we have gotten along very well, I must say. She does not have a computer or access to the internet or even a phone at her home. I gather, from my research, that this is not an uncommon thing. My friend (Natalya), must go into her town in pay for the use of the internet at an internet club. I find this very refreshing. She is an absolute sweet woman and I am growing fond of her. She has sent me several pictures and I am in the process of sending her pictures of myself and my life. She has been very open when talking about herself to me and I have been very honest with her and there seem to be a very real connection between us. Although, I am not rich beyond any means (I am a public school teacher), I could save a bit and visit her, in Russia. ( I know, NEVER act like you do not have the money!) Where things would go from there would be up to us at that point. I guess my questions to the good people on this website are as follows:

1 What are the chances in developing a real relationship with
this woman?

2 Is it a realistic thing to think that possibly, in the future she
would come to America to be with me?

3 What are some of the problems that an American man would
face in developing a relationship with Russian women?

4 What difficulties would my Russian woman face in her country,
in developing a relationship with me? And how best could I
help her to deal with them?

I know that in any relationship, there are difficulties. Especially one in which the two people are from different nations, cultures, etc. However I am the type of person that looks for solutions and possibilities when confronted with difficulties. I realize thet one week is not very much time to make this kind of decision and maybe I am getting way ahead of myself. On the other hand she appears to me to be the kind of woman that I would truly love to spend much quality time with!

Any advice that anyone could provide to me would be greatly appreciated!

John

Posted by: Jill

Hi John,

It's really too early to draw any conclusions on this one. She could be real, she could be fake--it's only been one week. Keep writing to her, but take it slow and look for any "red flags" (talking about love too soon, sick relatives, claims to want/be able to visit you in the US on a tourist visa, etc). Use your head as you would with any new (potential) relationship. There are also plenty of people on this site who can give you advice along the way, should questions arise.

If, after a few months, you are still corresponding and you are interested in meeting, begin to plan a trip to visit her in her hometown. It is very unlikely that she will be able to visit you in the US--for that you will most likely have to file a K-1 (fiancee visa) and obviously that would be only AFTER a viable relationship has been built (note that after arriving in the US on a K-1, you will only have 90 days to marry, so you had better be sure of your relationship beforehand).

So, in short, if you plan to continue this relationship, a trip to Russia is almost inevitable. And I mean AT LEAST one trip.

But it is still too early for that, in my opinion. Keep writing and getting to know each other. And keep your eyes open along the way.

Good luck!

Posted by: John in USA

Hello Jill,

Thank you so much for your advice and for such a quick reply! Your words make much sense and I will heed them well. I'm sure I'll be back soon with more questions! Thanks again!

John

Posted by: ozarklowrider

Hey John, Where is she from and could you send me a pic. My email is ozarklowrider@yahoo.com. I'm sure there has to be a ton of Russian women named Natalya, but you have described the same girl I am emailing. Just courious, Thanks

Posted by: ozarklowrider

Hey John check your email. I received yours and we are emailing the same woman. She says her Grandmother loves me like her on son(wonder if she's ever met her son). I think you and I are supposed to fight or something now, because we are both foolinf around with the others woman.....HaHaHa....Take care glad you helped me clear this up before we both got shafted......

Posted by: Turboguy

Darn, that is the most amazing thing that I have ever seen. You knew her name and that she did not have a phone or the internet and managed to piece together that it was the same gal you were writing. There has to be a million gals with that name and no phone. If you pick lottery numbers sometime, let me know what you are picking. You are GOOD!

Posted by: John in USA

Hey Tom,

We both sure do hope it IS a woman! Ha! Well Tommy, since you ARE bigger from me and I don't really want to mess with someone from the Ozarks.........................you get the girl, my friend! That's right, Natalya is all yours! Just don't forget to invite me to the wedding! Just don't name your firstborn after me! lOL!

Later Tom Dude,

John

ps. Nadenka is much HOTTER anyway! LOL!

Posted by: John in USA

Turbo Guy,

You absolutely would not believe the deal that Tommy (ozarklowrider) and I have discovered! One American, guy from Florida, one American guy from Chicago, one Russian girl from Safonovo, same grandmother, same cat named Sneezhok (snowball, in Russian), same pictures sent to both of us! Tommy is in the process of sending her, shall we say an "updated" email, HaHa! Man this woman is going to just FREAK OUT! I know I would! She is gonna think that the United State of America is nothing but one SMALL neighborhood, ya think!

But that is far from the worst part. Now I am getting emails from a woman named Nadenka! She has sent me a total of 3 emails so far. In each of the emails her pics sent are getting increasingly hotter! After a few more emails, I'm sure she willbe breaking some sort of electronic errotic communication international laws! LOL!

John

Posted by: Leprechaun

Amazing

LONG LIVE THE RMP!!!
"The scourge of the scammers"

Posted by: John in USA

Oh yeah, Leprechaun,

Great stuff! You wanna know what else is special? This new girl sending me email has these words inside the address headers

(Obaroma Spam), is this a little hint or what! What is the world coming to when an American man cannot even fine a honest Russian woman to correspond with! lol Actually, I can't really blame them. They are simply playing the numbers, hoping to get lucky. I'll bet Natalya feels pretty lucky about now!

John

Posted by: E.T.

Well,

your experience isn't all that unique. When my former "fiance" Elena from Sevastopol went out again trying to find new victims, she herself initiated contacts (mostly with guys having more than 50 grand a year).

Two of these guys found me on various discussion forums and we had some intensive contact about her. One of these men had tried to take a look at one of the profiles, she had all over the place (often with partly made-up information about herself) and found, that this profile was closed, as she was suspected of being a scammer. Not my doing, though I in other connections has
stopped her profiles.

It's slow and uncertain job, but it pays to look around. Even the searchmachines can be a great help, if you know the woman's real name or usual pseudonym.

I know more about what's going to happen in the next month or so in this woman's life (concerning dating), than she does herself, and I find it quite amusing.

Lars

Posted by: ozarklowrider

Oh come on "Uncle John" Natalya and I would love to have our first son named after you or maybe the new frickin' cat........ This site is what got me thinking and just for the heck of it I asked for a photo from John, not really believing that it could be the same girl. Damn, Look out Lotto office I'm coming to collect my cash!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: ozarklowrider

This is one reason I'm divorced now. My ex always said I thought I knew everything. Well this time a hunch played out to be right. I don't know everything, but I don't believe everything either. I enjoyed this. It's too bad it didn't work out to be a match she was kind of hot!!!!! Now lets see if she replies to my latest email? Any bets!

Posted by: E.T.

Dear Tommy,

ofcourse chance, luck or intuiton will be a part of such happy meetings, but personally I've been very active and methodically myself, spreading my story out.

In one connection, I've had app. 1500 visitors reading it. And eventually Elena T. will get at least nominated to "scammer of the year". How proud she and I will be then.

As to if you get any answers, it depends on how threatened your correspondant feels. It's my impression, that they (for good reasons in this connection and with a cultural ballast of suspicion) are stone-paranoid most of them.

Some of them would sell their grandmothers without scruples, but if you can expose them publicly you touch a really sore spot.

Should you ever have time and interest, maybe the last few pages of my topic "Sevastopol" could give you a good laugh. Elena T. had for a short while a knight in bright armour defending her against such bad guys as me.

I couldn't have miscredited her better myself. With friends like him (John Q), who needs enemies?

With love

Lars

Posted by: E.T.

Sorry,

forgot.

I would be honoured to be your next cat's godfather. I love cats.

(Never trust a woman, who prefer dogs to cats. It shows them to expect subservience from their surroundings).

With love

Lars

Posted by: ozarklowrider

Hey John, yes that is the same address she gave me. Could we arrange a flight for her and both of us meet her at the gate?

Posted by: ozarklowrider

I've looking for the article E.T. where is it?

Posted by: John in USA

Tom, as in ET phone home? WTF?

Posted by: ozarklowrider

The article"Savastapol" that ET mentioned in his post

Posted by: John in USA

Oh Yeah, as I remember, it was a story kind of similar to ours! Something about how he really busted her chops but really let her kind of hang herself. I never read it either, just kind of deduced it from his post.

John

Posted by: E.T.

It's on "Scam, scammers and scamming" topic "Sevastopol".

As far as I can see, she's been scared away from being openly on the bigger datingsites at the present, (though I believe, you can have a kind of hidden profile at Matchdoctor).

And even if the economical aspect of her scamming ofcourse playes a big role, the psychological part is just as important to her. She's almost addicted to keeping up an endless stream of contacts with interested WM. You know that kind of woman, who has one man on the way out, one present and one on the way in.

As a person, she's rather empty, and the only thing, which really gave meaning to her life (apart from electronic status-gadgets and fashionclothes) is her sexual impact on men. And she certainly wasn't choosy there. Anyone would do.

It was sometimes rather embarrasing for me to see this man-eating attitude in her. Not because of jealousy, but it was so utterly repulsive in it's vulgarity.

Being partly cut of from this activity must be quite a cold turkey for her, though I don't doubt, that she's still at it in some way.

Her "knight", John Q. can also be found in all his intellectual glory at her scam-profile on "anti-scam.org" page 4 (maybe 5 now), where he certaingly delievers some interesting arguments.

With love

Lars

Posted by: John in USA

Hey Lars,

I am not aware of how these Russian women can get access to my email address. I am rather a newbie at much of this internet stuff. So far I seem to have "attracted" two rather dubious "individuals". Lars, this latest "woman", Nadenka, is sending me real uh........"nice" images of herself! The best thing is on the header of her email adress it plainly stares"Obaroma Spam"! I kid you not! And of course ther emails are telling me the usual business. Thanks to the kind people here and of course our friends across the ocean, we now have an inexpensive hobby and I have met two wonderful new friends! We do have fun comparing our stories!

If you could please explain to me a bit more about exactly how they are doing this, I would truly be greatful!

Posted by: John in USA

Also Lars,

Is there ANY chance of ACTUALLY finding any REAL, semi-NORMAL Russian women to correspond with and if so how might I go about finding them? I know I also speak for at least one other guy from this site!

John

Posted by: E.T.

Dear John,

thanks for your mails. I also find it nice to meet people, with whom it is possible to share experiences and thoughts on this subject.

As you can understand, it has been a very painful experience for me, and it has costed me time and heartache to get back to myself again. And I'm definitely not the only one.

So my motives for being so active is to, hopefully, prevent others from repeating my mistakes.

Concerning how some of these women can get your email-address, I am sorry to say, that I'm a novice, when it comes to handling computers, but I know a guy, who's sharp at such. I'll write and ask him.

But I do know, that some datingsites do not have a, so to speak, internal mailsystem, but send mails from interested women directly to your private email. Maybe that could be an explanation.

I still do have a few contacts in FSU. Women, with whom I've had a three-month communication, and sofar no money-requests has turned up. Better is, that these women are aware of my experiences in Sevastopol and probably know, that I'll be very cautious. I don't think a real scammer would like to get to involved with me now.

And these women have been very supportive also, and given me a lot of information about scammers. The scammers are apparantly wellknown in the FSU countries, and the "normal", sound women talk about them with contempt and scorn.

So sure, there do exist "good" women there also. But finding them takes time, patience and care. And some of the scammers are unbelievably clever in playing the game, and not being hindered by any morality will tell you ANY lies, they find suitable.

This woman sending you "nice" photos, probably sends such to loads of men. Not very long ago, I recieved something like that from a 22 year old nigerian woman (who ofcourse loved me deeply after two letters). Especially one of the photos were close to hardcore.

And with the technical developement of internet communication, such as direct talking combined with web-cameras is getting more and more usual. Also owned privately by some of these women. And this is being used instead of just sending photos, so you can get your own little "showtime" from them.

Elena owns such equipment (though I do not, so we never used it together).

I have a distinct feeling, that the scammers are getting better and more sophisticated all the time, and they co-operate much more, than anti-scammers usually do. I met one in Sevastopol, who's a professional computer-operator and translator, and she worked at a dating-agency, who openly accepted scammers. And these girls certainly worked in tandem, pooling their experiences and knowledge, even sometimes completely running a friend's dating-contacts (recieving, composing and sending letters for them). I met such a case down there, and even met both of the women and the western man involved in this (he went visiting
the girl, with whom he'd supposedly communicated, and he also met the actual writer of the letters).

With love

Lars

Posted by: John in USA

Hello Lars,

Thanks for the reply! So basically what you are telling me is that unless I am willing to jump through a whole bunch of brightly colored hoops, the best I can hope for is to be continually assailed by the scammer/spammers! I'll pass on that one my friend. There are plenty of sites on the internet where one can indulge their fantasies. I'm looking for reality!

Anyway, Lars, Where do you live?

John

Posted by: Turboguy

There are lots of real girls who are normal as any woman can be. From a guys way of thinking no girl is normal.

How do you find them. Process of elimination. You will get scammed some. Just contact a lot and weed them out. The best way of meeting gals may be different for you than what works for me or for Lars. Try the free sites like www.freepersonals.ru or www.eecl.org. Try a romance tour buy my experience with those is that they are a blast but there are a lot of scammers. Some people have luck just going to some cities and meeting gals, using agencies or just going out. Try a listing. Elena;s models is pretty reputable. There are so many ways you just have to try and see what works.

Posted by: John in USA

Thanks, Turbo,

I'll try these sites. What I meant by "normal women", was a woman that had actually written the individual email that they just sent to you, not writing one email that is sent to 100 different guys.
A woman that will actually READ the email that you have sent to her. I have written emails to one of my two scammmer/spammers, that outlined how I murdered my ex wife (not true by the way) and this "woman" emailed me back the next day telling me how "reliable", I was. I tend to think that she may not have read my email!

I will try the sites you have listed and thanks again,

John

Posted by: vanir

email addresses are frequently accessed from websites such as forums, by creating an internet "robot" program which scans particular website subject headers for their member email access pages.
As far as I know there is no way to ultimately stop them. What a webmaster can do, based on what I've managed to gather is confuse them, by including a webpage of dummie email addresses for the "robot" to get all tied up with.

Basically if your email address is posted on public websites, you may get spammed. So it's good to keep a seperate email address you use for private mail.

One of the things you can do to cut down spamming is make it impossible for spamming programs to "log" access to your computer, using spyware/adware removal programs regularly.
You should also have a decent 3rd party firewall in place such as Zone Alarm, which does not interfere with windows. You need to shut down the windows firewall when using them.
The problem with the windows firewall is being the manufacturer's program it automatically allows access to your computer by any program it believes to be a microsoft client. It keeps certain ports open for this and they can be accessed by well made intrustion programs or hackers.

Look up programs like Zone Alarm, Nortons Antivirus and Spysweeper and buy them. Install. Use. Most problems get solved right there. The rest is just watch what emails you open (may contain viruses if spam), and use your junk email folders for their intended purpose.

Posted by: John in USA

Finally,

A computer geek (affectionate term from me, I assure you), that also provides exceptional advice IN ENGLISH!

Thanks very much Vanir!

John

Posted by: ozarklowrider

Hey John,
I'd like to post a couple of Natalya's photos, but not sure how to get them on here? Will someone please tell me. Maybe if she is on this site others will reconize her before they get too deep.....

Posted by: tri_guy

Hmmm...looks like my earlier reply was consumed by the system..lol.

Anyway, as I was saying, I got to know another Natalya about 1/2 year ago. Everything runs OK, no money talk etc. But I have a funny feeling that it's too good to be true...she lives in Siberia and recently one of her close relative has a medical emergency and has to be flown to Moscow. She is going with her. She told me she cannot call nor write to me when she is with her (BTW, she called me 4 times before from Russia, from the post office as she doesn't have a phone with her), but will touch with me as soon as she returns.

We intend to meet sometime in Oct, provided I have reasonable confidence that this is not another scam case. Does this story sound familiar to anyone here?

Opinion and views appreciated :-D

Posted by: povlhp

Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe she is with another man for 2 weeks ? Maybe the story is true. I guess you will now when she is back / has dumped or decided for the other man.

It is not necessarily a scammer.

Posted by: Ade

tri-guy,

I 'knew' a girl from Siberia, but ccalled Maria; she also asked for nothing, and we'd corresponded for about 6 months when I finally arranged to go and see her. At the last minute, a relative got ill, and she had to go out of town.....

But it was too late for me to cancel my flights, so I went on holiday and met a real woman instead

I'd be interested to hear more about the girl you've been writing to - as with you, the one I was writing to asked for nothing, and it all seemed genuine....but it wasn't.

Ade

Posted by: loprovideo

john, (or anyone who has the pic)can you please forward me the picture of
natalya, i am talking with a natalya right now, she has a cat, and she hot, and we get along amazingly well, i am just curious, please help, please forward to
loprovideo@hotmail.com

Posted by: GreenBarb

loprovideo, it may not be the same girl so relax. Natalya is a common name in Russia and the FSU.

Tri-guy, see what happens, she may phone you from Moscow, you'll never know.