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match.com scams
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Posted by: jas09_62

My ex received an email from a woman Anastaya out of the blue on match.com. He does not subscribe to international match.com. He thinks this is the real deal. She wants to come over to the US to meet him and stay at his house. Does match.com get scammers? I'm not real thrilled about her staying for 3 weeks with my kids. She said she is an only child. Her mother was a surgeon and was killed in some conflict and doesn't know who her father is. She only has an uncle. She's 32, never married, no kids and a teacher. Doesn't have a phone and can only use an internet cafe once a week to email him. As far as I know she hasn't asked him for money. Said she was going to ask her uncle to help pay for her trip. Any advice?

Posted by: ConnerVT

You don't tell us about how your relationship is with your ex, or how he will react to advice from you. I'll take a guess, and suggest you do this:

Be supportive, and wish him well. Then, suggest he read through some forums (like this one) so he can learn more about Russian woman and Russian culture.

My gut feeling is that this may be a classic visa scam, as I am distrustful of anyone who makes contact with people on free personal sites whom have not specifically stated they are looking for an international relationship. My other gut feeling is if someone was to shout "scam", that your ex would do whatever he could to prove them wrong, even if it wasn't in his best interest.

I hope I'm wrong all the way around. Good luck to both of you.

Posted by: searcher

I have to say I agree with ConnerVT...

Now it is true thast some women there don't know how difficult it is to get a tourist visa

but what will often happen is that she (or someone will tell her) that it cost more than what she has so she'll ask for money from him.

The visa will never materalize and she won't arrive.

An agency once told my fiance that she could definately get a tourist visa to come visit me...... all for the low sum of $5000

They told her that it was necessary to bribe various U.S. officials/embassy personnel.

Of course, she didn't believe it.

So this woman may believe she can come for a visit but the chances are VERY low.

Either she is being misled, she is misleading him or both.

That is a common scam tactic.

Posted by: Pin Boy

conner and searcher said it best. he has a better chance of seeing god than he does this woman.

match.com is a pay site, so it is a little odd to be contacted by a russian "supposed" woman - "she" may be a man - on a pay site.

but in the best interests of your family, do whatever you can to persuade him to let this drop...and the cardinal rule is never send any money to a person you have never met!!!

good luck. you came to the right place to seek advice.

pin boy

Posted by: ConnerVT

Although Match.com is not truly a free site, there are so many holes in it, it basically operates as one.

Posted by: Jill

Total scam.

And even on the off chance that she is for real, she will never get a US tourist visa (single, no kids, very low paying job, expressed intent to emigrate by virtue of her participation in an international dating site, etc).

Posted by: Jill

Quote:

An agency once told my fiance that she could definately get a tourist visa to come visit me...... all for the low sum of $5000

You know, I was going to start a thread on this topic. This is becoming really common--I mean, when agencies promise that they can get otherwise ineligible FSU citizens US tourist visas. There is even a warning on the US Embassy in Ukraine website about this (I'll post it below, but it's in Ukrainian).

Anyway, the point is: just because a RW claims she can get a tourist visa does NOT necessarily mean that she is a scammer. She could be the one being scammed by a dishonest agency (which may resort to illegal means to obtain the visa, or which may just take her money and run).

Although, in the above case, I think it is the "woman" running the scam.

Anyway, courtesy of the US Embassy in Ukraine:

Quote:

Консульський відділ Посольства США в Україні хотів би застерегти українських громадян бути обережними під час звернення до агенцій, що пропонують роботу в Сполучених Штатах. Консульському відділу Посольства США відомо про діяльність таких агенцій та сумний досвід спілкування з ними багатьох громадян України. Хочемо наголосити, що Консульський відділ Посольства США в Україні не надає акредитації жодній туристичній агенції чи агенції з працевлаштування. Тому, жодна агенція в Україні не має ніяких привілеїв у Консульському відділі.

Працевлаштування у США по туристичній візі В2 є серйозним порушенням іміграційних законів Сполучених Штатів і може призвести до небажаних наслідків.

Важливо зазначити, що громадяни України не повинні платити за пораду щодо того, як звернутися та отримати туристичну або робочу візу США.
Вимоги щодо отримання візи можна знайти безкоштовно на Інтернет-сторінці Посольства або зателефонувавши безпосередньо до Консульського відділу за номером (044) 490-4422.

Posted by: jas09_62

Thanks to all of you who replied!

To Conner, my relationship with my ex was really good. We were moving toward reconciliation until Anastasya contacted him. He was going to go on a trip to Europe and was planning it with me, but then he said he was going to Russia to meet her. This weekend he told me she is coming here sometime this summer. The more I try to talk to him about this the more adamant he becomes. He said that he has checked out Russian scams and is positive this isn't one. Conner, I see that you live in VT. I live 3 miles from the border of VT.

He told his friend that they tried to communicate by phone but it didn't work. Not quite sure what that means. He writes her 4 times a week, she writes once a week.

If she hasn't asked for money, how can it be a scam? By the way she won't tell him how she found him. I'm not trying to sound stupid, but if he goes to Russia to visit her will he be safe? He said that he is positive he is the only one she writes to. What are the odds of that? She has sent him many pictures. His friend (who thinks this is a scam) said she's attractive, but doesn't look like a model so he thinks that the pictures are real.

I am very glad I found this site. Everyone has been so nice and helpful. Thanks again!

Posted by: Ade

Hi,

She hasn't asked for money yet, doesn't mean she won't. I also was in contact with a Russian woman who never asked for money, but turned out to be fake (I was lucky, I got a good result anyway, even though I wasn't looking to). Her pictures were nice, but never model quality or suggestive.

The number of scams around can be scary, and put people off when there's no need. It can be hard to sort out what's happening. But if she won't tell him how she found him, there's something wrong anyway.

Russia is as safe as anywhere else to a careful/confident traveler.

But whether it's the 'woman' or the agency, it does sound fishy.

Ade

Posted by: rattlesnake6979

I agree with ConnerVT- the more you tell your ex that it is a scam the more he will emphatically pursue this line. No woman can get a visa to the USA without good reason and as neither your ex or the woman in Russia have met there is zero percent chance of a visa being granted to come to the USA.

In a nutshell , this is a scam .

rattle

Posted by: Jill

Quote:

If she hasn't asked for money, how can it be a scam?

Quite easily. She could "borrow money from her uncle" and say that she has gotten the US visa (she may even scan him a copy--likely made on photoshop). Then she will tell him that she is going to Moscow for the flight. Then OH NO! Tragedy! She is robbed of all her money and documents and could your husband please send her money via Western Union so that she can repurchase her tickets and come to see him because, well, she is just so in love in him!

Or if she doesn't want to wait so long, she will just tell him that the visa and the plane tickets (which she is 100% sure she can get) cost much more than expected, so could he please help her out because she just can not wait to see him.

Or her beloved uncle--her only family in world--suddenly needs an emergency operation and if your husband doesn't help her, he may die.

Well, there are many scenarios.

If you want to help your ex out, tell him not to send money. If he is convinced of her intentions and sincerity, advise him to respond to any money requests by saying that he will reimburse her travel expenses AFTER she has arrived in the US. And then tell him not to hold his breath.

I certainly could be wrong about all of this...But the whole thing sounds fishy to me.

Posted by: Jill

Quote:

but then he said he was going to Russia to meet her. This weekend he told me she is coming here sometime this summer.

Question: who suggested that she come to the US (rather than your ex going to Russia)?

Was this at your ex's suggestion, or her insistance?

Posted by: ConnerVT

Quote:

Originally posted by ConnerVT
You don't tell us about how your relationship is with your ex, or how he will react to advice from you. I'll take a guess, and suggest you do this:

Be supportive, and wish him well. Then, suggest he read through some forums (like this one) so he can learn more about Russian woman and Russian culture.

My gut feeling is that this may be a classic visa scam...

I'll quote myself, to get us back on track. Seems we all are covering the same, tired ground again and again. The 'visa scam' is well written about (ah, beaten to death) in any RW forum you can read.

I think any verbal advice he may get will be met with resistance. Suggesting he get information from a disinterested third source will ultimately open his eyes to the dangers he may be headed into. If he ultimately decides to post his questions on a forum, I am certain he will be hit with the infamous Clue Bat, telling him much of the same as we have been writing here.

Posted by: jas09_62

I just talked to my husband's friend again and he said that it was her idea to come here this summer. She said that her uncle knew someone and the uncle was going to see if this was possible. This whole thing has been going on for about 12 weeks. Wouldn't she move quicker if this was scam? Like email him more frequently? Or is this length of time normal? He gave her his cell phone number about three weeks ago and she tried to call him last week. It was a crappy connection and they were disconnected after about a minute. Do scammers normally call? She's living in her dead mother's apartment outside of Moscow. She's really close to her uncle and her friends joke about her having a "relationship" with her uncle.

He tells both myself and his friend that he has been on many web sites about RW scams and he is convinced this isn't a scam.

His friend is starting to think it's a scam too. We just don't want him to get hurt or to loose money.

Posted by: jas09_62

I just was informed that he thinks if he buys her the plane ticket that he can't loose his money because she can't cash it in. If she didn't use it then he could get a refund. He also believes that he can get her a visa or visa application from here for about $59. Is he totally off base?

Posted by: ConnerVT

Quote:

Originally posted by jas09_62
Is he totally off base?

Yes.

An American citizen can not "get" a visa for anyone. Only the person applying for a visa can do so. Ultimately, THEY must fill out an application, pay a fee of $100 USD, and go to an interview at the US Consulate. Applying for a visa A US citizen can offer supporting documentation that they will be responsible for the visa applicant's travel and living expenses, but this carries very little weight, as there are no legal documents (Affidavit of Support, etc.) for the Gov't to hold against the US citizen if the person over stays their visa. Also, there are two separate gov't agencies involved: the State Dept (which issues the visa), and USCIS (immigration, which is responsible for non-citizens once they enter the US).

As far as airline tickets go, it depends on the particular airlines rules. But then, if a ticket has HER name (as it would need for her to use it), there certainly is the possibility she could change/refund it.

Twelve weeks (3 months) is typically the amount of time this type of scam runs to fruition. It is a classic confidence scam, which takes time to build up confidence and trust in a person.

It sounds like, unfortunately, your ex is in denial, and will do everything he can to prove he is right, and that you and his friends are wrong. His friend's comments about her "uncle" are probably pretty accurate -- it's likely that he is her boyfriend (or husband, or...).

Posted by: Ade

Hi,

Time doesn't matter - some are quick, some are slower. To visit, for the UK certainly, she needs an invite, and I'd guess that's true for the US, but with more conditions.

Her 'uncle' can't get her to the US.

Scammers call too.

It doesn't sound good.

Ade

Posted by: jas09_62

My ex called and told me he found Anastasiya on the black list at Russianwoman.com. He put a profile on that site to try again. He told me that's a much more reputable site than any other ones. I am relieved that he found out about it before he lost his heart and his money. I really love him still, though. I pray that someday we get back together again. Thanks so much and for all your support. This is a much more informative site than any other I have found.

Posted by: RobSTL

Hi,
This is my first post, but I am glad I joined this forum! I have been been corresponding w/ a RW for about six weeks, she contacted me through Match.com and I replied since I had visited FSU as a student almost 30 yrs ago.

She also is only child, never knew father, no kids, mother a surgeon killed in Chechnya conflict, 32, pretty pictures but not a model, only family is uncle w/ whom she is quite close, too close for uncle's wife. She asked for my home address and cell #, left a short message last week. Says she is physician and will be coming to USA for 10 months because she was chosen as part of a cultural work exchange from the Russian Ministry of Health.

There has been no request made for money and I thought w/ the gov't exchange this would not be a scam, although in one letter she told me her income and asked what I made per year ("I make a little better than average." was my reply).

Now I am concerned w/ the level of coincidence in these stories. Initially she said she contacted people from Match.com and I was the only person to have replied. Same story also about using internet cafe once weekly at $1/hr. I only write her when she writes me.

I am wondering if you could contact me off list to compare messages and pictures she has sent. I find her appearance incredibly attractive, as brunettes w/ short hair make me melt. My e-mail is robbau@earthlink.net.

Thank you in advance if you can help me determine if this is the exact same woman.

Robert

Posted by: Virginiajoe

My friend Yuliya didn't ask for money at all either until a few days ago when she said she was at the Moscow Airport and the authorities told her she needed $240 more in cash to cover her travel,food expenses.I told her I wouldn't send the money until I had more info or talked to someone at the airport about it,but I did not receive any calls from anyone,she sent me a e-mail with her visa,I would like to know if it is real,she said she could postopone her flight to Newark for a few days and for me to Western Union her the money to Moscow,she said there is a internet cafe in the airport in Moscow.Someone told me it is true there is a certain amount of cash the US Embassy requires before a Russian tourist can enter the US.
Now I in a strange way I kind of feel guilty.She says she is devestated to spend so much money and I wouldn't help her.I have heard though some women use this as a scam tactic.She did call me the day before when she arrived in Moscow from a pay phone.
She never asked for money,that's the weird thing,just sounded kinda weird with some of her plans here in the US.Let me know what you think,at least I am not out any money,she might possible be though and that is not right.She said the US Embassy did not tell her about the money requirement,she said she had a little over $200 for hotel and food.I told her I would take care of her when she was here,something else,she had me send a e-mail invitation stating my address,my intentions with her,and that I would give her a place to stay,food to eat,etc.I really don't know!

Posted by: Pin Boy

joe, yes you do know! this is a typical scam...she's not in Moscow, she has no intentions of coming here , and she is probably working a dozen other guys besides you...if she can get $200 out of about ten men, that's a hefty sum to live on in Russia...and then, like an addict, she'll go after more guys for more money...stand tall, hold your ground, and DON'T feel guilty, that's EXACTLY what she is hoping for to get you to cough up some cash via WU.

pin boy

Posted by: Pin Boy

and she's not your friend - she's the con and your the mark.

Posted by: ConnerVT

No one at the airport would have asked her if she had any money to travel. Immigration only cares that she has an airline ticket, an international passport, and a valid visa. The airlines will also check that she has a return ticket (if traveling on a Tourist visa, not needed for a K-1/K-3).

The US embassy would ask for her financial standing (ie. cash reserves) BEFORE ever issuing a US tourist visa.

Scam.