What Russian/ Ukrainian women want... - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

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What Russian/ Ukrainian women want...
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Posted by: kevin m

since I don't have Mel Gibson's mind reading ability from that movie, I was kind of wondering about this. Any ideas from the mods or any others? Oh, I almost forgot another question. How are they different from American (or western) women for that matter. What should I say in a letter or how should I come across in a letter? I am actually still new to this. Any feedback will be very welcome.

PS: I want to apologize for my last entry in he scams forum. I was having a bad day to begin with.

Not now of course...

Kevin M
Las Vegas, Nevada, USA

Oh, how do I put up an avatar of myself here? Anyone?

Posted by: AkMike

Kevin, Men will never know what's on a womans mind. Accept that as FACT!
Then start reading in stage #1 in this section. There's several lifetimes amount of knowledge here already. Start reading.

Posted by: rtking

Welcome Kevin M! I agree with AkMike... there's lots of information about the AM in contrast to RM in the forums. It's probably best to start at the beginning and read all of our ramblings!

As for our Avatar, you will just need to go to the User Control Panel ("User CP" button at the top of this window) and click on it. From there, click on "Edit Options" and go to the bottom of the screen. You'll see a place to upload your Avatar.

Hope that helps!

Bob

Posted by: Jill

Russian/Ukrainian women want what most other women want: a loving husband, a stable home, a job they enjoy, good friends....Obviously that is being very general, but everyone has their idea of what happiness is and what is necessary for them to truly be happy. But most of the basic values are the same.

Posted by: AngryFisherman

... and I am afraid they do not come with a manual either

"It's gonna take tiiiiime, a whole lotta patience and time ..."

FisherMan

Posted by: AngryFisherman

Ok, I have to admit that was not very useful ...

But seriously, like Jill stated, the basic values are the same. You will definitely know when things are right, when both parts are giving and receiving in equal amounts, so to speak. I find that making dinner for my lady is a big hit.

FisherMan

Posted by: dakotaridge

Everybody has their own opinion on a question like this, and I have mine. I think the most controlling factor of all is what a woman's culture respects and demands of her. That's what she'll strive to become. Although it no longer means anything special in our culture (in actual practice), I feel that American women are still chasing the dream of the 70's, where becoming prominent in business meant they would stand out and be respected. The numbers alone will testify to this - I don't have the actual numbers but I would guess that 99% of all women going to college enroll in either the business field (well over 50%) or the medical field (including psychology, psychiatry, etc.).

I think that culturally in America, by 2005 nobody cares what a woman does. If you see a traditional housewife, you don't think any less of her; if you see a woman running a Fortune 100 corporation, you don't think any more of her than if a man were in that position. The media - including newspapers, magazines, novels and movies - portray a different scenario; I'm looking at the average person in real life. As a culture we ran the entire cycle of glorifying women for becoming men (in all the myriad forms they could do that) and I think by 2005 men and women alike just burned out on that game altogether.

So as the cultures compare, my opinion is that while this kind of dream (the "emancipated American woman," who in reality is more weakened and dependent than ever) is still held as a model in the FSU, but one that is not realistically obtainable in their culture. So they focus elsewhere. Beyond having stunning looks (which nearly all seem to have), Russia, Ukraine, etc. don't seem to place a lot of expectations on women's roles in their cultures. Be this, don't be that, I just don't think it's that prominent. Any demands that are present seem to lean toward being traditional moms, wives, etc. Barring any overly controlling cultural mandates, I think women on the whole simply revert to their basic natures, and so you have a culture of women who many men find far preferrable to what can be found in their own country.

Somebody looking abroad does not necessarily mean they can't get a woman in their own country. Maybe they just feel the women in their own country aren't good enough.

Posted by: fly4fun

>>I think by 2005 men and women alike just burned out on that game altogether

I respectfully disagree. Men are burned out on it but I don't think the women are which is perhaps one reason why more men are looking elsewhere.

Posted by: dakotaridge

Quote:

Originally posted by fly4fun
>>I think by 2005 men and women alike just burned out on that game altogether

I respectfully disagree. Men are burned out on it but I don't think the women are which is perhaps one reason why more men are looking elsewhere.

I think I have to agree with you. I don't think women have it in their hearts, though, to play this game. I think they do it because it's the last thing they were taught to strive for and they were never taught (by our culture) about anything to replace these endeavors. I've posted on this subject before - American women no longer have any definitive culturally-based goal to strive for, to achieve any kind of special standing in our society. At least nothing beyond the normal things that are gender insensitive - CEO of a company, high income, etc. There's really nothing they can do that'll be looked on as special just because they're women. In the old days (the 70's) it was easy - just get your big rig license or buy a Harley and everybody stood in awe just because you were a woman doing that. Now women no longer have their gender giving them a social boost; they now have to work exactly as hard as men to stand out in our culture and I think as a group they're going through a major identity crisis over it. They got exactly what they wished for - true equality - at least as far as impressing their peers (or impressing men). I think now, for the first time, those who don't seek refuge in the traditional stay-at-home-mom role are seeing how difficult men have had it all along.

Posted by: inlove

Quote:

Originally posted by dakotaridge
I think I have to agree with you. I don't think women have it in their hearts, though, to play this game. I think they do it because it's the last thing they were taught to strive for and they were never taught (by our culture) about anything to replace these endeavors. I've posted on this subject before - American women have no longer have any definitive culturally-based goal to strive for, to achieve any kind of special standing in our society. At least nothing beyond the normal things that are gender insensitive - CEO of a company, high income, etc. There's really nothing they can do that'll be looked on as special just because they're women. In the old days (the 70's) it was easy - just get your big rig license or buy a Harley and everybody stood in awe just because you were a woman doing that. Now women no longer have their gender giving them a social boost; they now have to work exactly as hard as men to stand out in our culture and I think as a group they're going through a major identity crisis over it. They got exactly what they wished for - true equality - at least as far as impressing their peers (or impressing men). I think now, for the first time, those who don't seek refuge in the traditional stay-at-home-mom role are seeing how difficult men have had it all along.

Any proof of the "major identity crisis"? Why do you think that they, as a mass, want to "be looked on as special just because they are women"?

Posted by: dakotaridge

Quote:

Originally posted by inlove
Any proof of the "major identity crisis"? Why do you think that they, as a mass, want to "be looked on as special just because they are women"?

You cannot prove an internal condition no matter what you do. How does a woman prove a guy is a jerk? All she can do is state her case and some will agree with her, others not. There is no definitive proof.

It isn't like this is some agenda that any given woman is conscious of. It's a way of life that women have been conditioned to expect and like any cultural norm that people become comfortable living with, change will be painful. I've posted before about the effects of celebrity status on the human brain. It's exactly the same as cocaine. Move any person out of that limelight (even if it's only implied) and they'll exhibit all the attendant symptoms of cocaine withdrawal. I watched my sister go through it constantly, for years. When she got out of high school, she didn't care who she married, as long as it was a rich guy. So she married a rich guy, and moved from neighborhood to neighborhood because she couldn't find a place where she stood out as special. It seemed everywhere she went, she just couldn't get along with the other soccer moms - because she could never stand out as something special. If she moved into an area that was too low class, she would be looked down on for living there. If she moved into an upscale area, all the neighbor women were just like her - 46 kids each, money coming out the ears, and again my sister was nothing special. She ended up moving to a place where there were no neighbors! Then she became more unhappy than she's ever been in her life, to the point where she spent $5k just on clothes for a single trip to London to see another guy.

Social prestige is the only thing most people ever go after. Regardless of the avenue for getting there, it's the only thing most people ever live for - to be seen as something special by their peers. Women can no longer reach this point for free, just becasue they're women. Now they must earn their prestige exactly the same as any man. And nobody is given prestige then denied it without going into serious reaction over it. The problem for women in this case is that now, there's nobody to call the villain. Women fly planes and helicopters, drive big rigs, ride motorcycles, etc. and nobody thinks it's special anymore. They become judges and CEO's and nobody cares that they're women. There is nothing a woman can do that's considered special just because she's a woman. And there is no villain they can claim for this situation existing. Nobody takes this fall lightly, man or woman. The only thing that sets men apart in this case is that there never was anything they could be considered special for doing just because they're men. Will the first man in space be remembered based on his gender? The first man to do anything will never be remembered because of his gender. We don't have a national Man's month. We don't have nationwide walks and runs and campaigns for prostate cancer even though it occurs with the same frequency as breast cancer. Etc. If men were in the position of having special recognition just for being men, the response to that going away would be exactly the same. Men were never given this free ride to be in a position of losing it and that's the only reason why we haven't seen men go through this withdrawal.

I even watched it on Judge Judy once! ... some heifer kept carrying on and on about "MY SON" and "MY SON" and "MY SON" as if she were raising the next incarnation of Jesus Christ, until Judge Judy finally had to tell her "oh, stop the dramatics!" This heifer pumped that concept for all it was worth ... my son, everybody bow ... if her clinging to that concept was any indication, there's a lot of dependence on free social prestige, and given that dependence, it will not be taken lightly when it's suddenly gone and the well has run dry. Which it has.

Posted by: fly4fun

Some of this topic came up in a talk with my mom the other day who is 87 and still going strong.
Her comment was you only have to browse the check outs in super markets to see the problem.
Scores of articles for women about how to get what they are missing etc. Problem is perhaps the women reading these articles weren't particularly interested until they read that they SHOULD be missing these things.
"How to balance your family life with work"
"What if you're too tired for sex?"
And on, and on, and on.
Seems like now that equality is loosing ground as an issue, new ones come up to make a woman question who she is and what she wants even though she actually might be happy in her current situation.

I doubt if there is any man on this board who would not be proud to have his wife succeed in her career just as he'd be happy to succeed in his. The problem is the men, in my opinon, have had generations to learn what is important and what is not and how to handle these successes and failures.

Whether anyone agrees with anything that is said here is not relevent as the fact is men are looking for more traditional wifes on Russian sites because they know that is not the primary interest of women in the USA. It has nothing at all to do with home maker versus career lady but has everything to do with the woman's priorities.

Bob

Posted by: dakotaridge

Quote:

Originally posted by fly4fun
Some of this topic came up in a talk with my mom the other day who is 87 and still going strong.
Her comment was you only have to browse the check outs in super markets to see the problem.
Scores of articles for women about how to get what they are missing etc. Problem is perhaps the women reading these articles weren't particularly interested until they read that they SHOULD be missing these things.
"How to balance your family life with work"
"What if you're too tired for sex?"
And on, and on, and on.
Seems like now that equality is loosing ground as an issue, new ones come up to make a woman question who she is and what she wants even though she actually might be happy in her current situation.

I doubt if there is any man on this board who would not be proud to have his wife succeed in her career just as he'd be happy to succeed in his. The problem is the men, in my opinon, have had generations to learn what is important and what is not and how to handle these successes and failures.

Whether anyone agrees with anything that is said here is not relevent as the fact is men are looking for more traditional wifes on Russian sites because they know that is not the primary interest of women in the USA. It has nothing at all to do with home maker versus career lady but has everything to do with the woman's priorities.

Bob

Everybody needs a flag to wave; everybody needs a cause. I think it would be very difficult to deny that since the late sixties, American culture has conditioned its women to believe they are oppressed; the specific cause of the oppression will be filled in later. It's a perpetual state of existence that our women have been conditioned into. Fight for right, even when nothing's wrong.

Why we turn to the FSU is probably not too different from the reasons why most women don't want to marry a cop or a soldier who thrives on live combat. Who wants that constant turmoil in their lives? Especially when the principle of fighting comes first and the cause to champion is only an afterthought? It really is the media influencing all this; take away that factor and who's left to push the buttons?

Posted by: inlove

Quote:

Originally posted by dakotaridge
You cannot prove an internal condition no matter what you do. How does a woman prove a guy is a jerk? All she can do is state her case and some will agree with her, others not. There is no definitive proof.

Identity crisis is, actually, a psychological condition that has specific symptoms. Jerks don't necessarily suffer from the identity crisis.. Basically, you have no proof to your statements, you are just rambling, as always..

Posted by: inlove

Quote:

Problems have existed for generations. Now instead of discussing them only with close friends or therapists, you can go and buy a book, or read an article in a magazine about it.

Posted by: dakotaridge

Quote:

Originally posted by inlove
Identity crisis is, actually, a psychological condition that has specific symptoms.

Since when? Symptoms defined by who? And who says they're right?

Quote:

Jerks don't necessarily suffer from the identity crisis.

And they're not necessarily lacking in that department either.

Quote:

Basically, you have no proof to your statements, you are just rambling, as always..

1) Absence of proof is not proof of absence. 2) The term "proof" is not "proof" at all in the traditional sense. It's only a waypoint where a certain number of people arbitrarily decide to accept a belief as absolute truth. For a really long time there was enough proof that the Earth was flat to where most people believed it. So "proof" per se doesn't exist. It's each individual's choice to believe something or not in response to something presented as proof. Every day people are sent to death row on 1/100 of the evidence that stands for UFO's and still plenty of people are saying there's no proof that UFO's exist. (Yes, I know ... UFO means Unidentified Flying Object; the average person should know what I'm saying here without splitting hairs over that detail.)

Finally ... when the response far exceeds the stimulus, there's a reason for it. I could say you have no hair on your head and you would probably not have such an emotional reaction (or such a personal counterattack) because you'd be a little more certain that this statement was not true. When you can't counter the message, you kill the messenger delivering it.

Posted by: inlove

Blah-blah-blah.. Ramble on..