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Russian women insanely jealous??
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Posted by: Skinman569

Has anyone else had this problem? My fiancee is crazy jealous. When I visited her in Yoshkar-Ola for 3 weeks, we would go to a cafe to eat or have some drinks. She would always watch the other women looking at me. I am certainly not super good looking, but not bad either, just average for an american. Sometimes she would go and confront other women she thought were looking at me. I was embarassed, and a little flattered by this. She would walk with me to the bathroom and wait for me. Always she would tell me that the other women were jealous because she has a beloved man, and she is just protecting me from them. I realize that she had some bad experiences with Russian men cheating on her, because they feel entitled to, but I just want to know if this is common.

Posted by: Pin Boy

common? i would more worry about is this a potential serious problem. confronting strangers over what she perceives as women oogling you can be quite a detremental personality trait. what did she do when she confronted these women who may or may not have been loking your way? you must ask yourself, do you want to deal with this behavior for the rest of your life? what about female friends of yours in the states? how will she feel when she's not on her own turf and her dander gets up because she may have some paranoa that she's going to have her man stolen? these are the real questions.

good luck and welcome

pin boy

Posted by: Skinman569

I think it is a real concern. We have talked about this several times, she says that she will not do this anymore. I am not too worried about it, she absolutely wonderful in every way, I think she will need to get used to trusting me.

Posted by: AkMike

If she's continued doing this after several talks then it's going to continue I think. She has some sort of security emotional issue.
This sounds like a Dr. Phil question.
What was the name of that movie with the pysco ex/gf stalked the guy ?

Posted by: Skinman569

Swimfan I believe.

Posted by: rtking

Quote:

Originally posted by AkMike
What was the name of that movie with the pysco ex/gf stalked the guy ?

You mean "Fatal Attraction" with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas?

Hmmm... well, if you find a boiled bunny on the kitchen stove, I'd get out of the house pretty quickly if I were you!

Seriously, maybe telling her how committed you are to her (especially since she's your fiancee) might ease some of that jealousy.

Good luck!

Bob

Posted by: AkMike

Yup "Fatal Attraction" is the one I was thinking of..
That scared the bejeasus out of everyone I know.

Just make sure that you haven't done anything to get her thinking that you've got a roving eye Skinman.

Posted by: Skinman569

I havent given her any thing to worry about, I am very devoted to her, I just think its her past bad experiences with Russian men. I will be married to her on may 7, so she should feel secure in my devotion to her. Since my visit she has been very cool about the situation, she knows that I love her and only her. I was just curious if anyone else has seen this.

Posted by: Jill

Quote:

I realize that she had some bad experiences with Russian men cheating on her, because they feel entitled to

Ridiculous generalization. But moving on....

Jealousy. A nasty, nasty thing in my opinion. And I don't believe that it always (or even most of the time) comes from having had bad experiences in the past. Some people get cheated on and never develop a deep jealous streak, and others who have never been cheated on can be pathologically jealous. Jealousy is ultimately about control.

My husband dated an extremely jealous woman--and, no, she had never been cheated on in the past. This was just the way she was for some reason. They dated for four years during which time her jealousy got worse and worse, and, in the end, it was the jealousy that caused them to break up. Every time my husband so much as talked to another woman, she would fly into a jealous rage and everytime he was late coming home from work, she would accuse him of cheating on her. Eventually he just couldn't put up with it any more and dumped her.

And just an FYI: the more serious/committed their relationship got, the worse the jealousy became. So a deeper committment isn't always the answer.

It simply depends how much you can put up with and if this is something you can tolerate in the long term because someone who is jealous by nature, rarely changes.

Posted by: Pawel_PL.USA

Don't worry about it too much skinman. It's just the Russian insecurity complex kicking in. An American in a place like Yoshar-Ola is like some sort of god-like creature in middle-of-nowhereville.

Posted by: RobOhioGuy

Quote:

Originally posted by Skinman569
I think it is a real concern. We have talked about this several times, she says that she will not do this anymore. I am not too worried about it, she absolutely wonderful in every way, I think she will need to get used to trusting me.

Jealous when it is overt like this always is a sign of deep insecurity.

Secondly, it usually (not always but usually) is a reaction. People who exhibit extream jealous, particularly if they are accusing you of cheating are in fact themselves cheating.

If your girl is accusing you or constantly quesitoning your fidelity, you'd best start paying attention to whats she is doing.