About privacy in the Social Network - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

	The Russian Meeting Place: A place to meet people and talk about all things Russian... International Discussions about Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Travel, Music, Russian News, Ukrainian culture, Belarusian Dating, Moscow, Saint Petersburg, Kiev and other intelligent topics about life in the former Soviet Union.

Pages: 1

About privacy in the Social Network
(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)

Posted by: FrancoPUA

I need advice to understand is this a cultural difference or a personal feature of my RW.

After we met and started to be together I noticed that the social network (girlfriends, neighbours) is in her town much more important than anywhere else I have been, including my home country Italy where the social network is very important, too.

Later on I found out that she discusses with her girlfriends and even with total strangers in a completely open way even matters of our private life or openly about money matters (for example how much we paid for a car or even how much our clothes cost and so on). She also discusses with everyone features of my personality.

I also feel - I hope I am wrong because I would never qualify to strangers about what we decide in the family - that the social network EVEN sometimes tends to influence what is decided inside the family. I could accept that she discusses a lot about everything outside the house but I would not accept that anyone else except US would effect what we decide in the family in anyway.

For example it seems that between girlfriends they compare in which kind of places they have been with their husbands and even boast about the price and there seems to be a lot of competition to demonstrate to the other that one was in the most expensive place possible and so on.

She tells me regularly in which places her girlfriends have been. It seems it is for the purpose of telling afterwards:"I was there with my husband and IT COSTED THE PRICE X" and so on..

In my home country we also discuss a lot with people but there are "certain things" (like money or deeper emotional issues) which are in a way kept in the family. This is very new for me. In my country how much we paid in the restaurant is generally not discussed too much.

We would feel that the person is QUALIFYING to others for social status and the person would be considered at least ridiculous and so on if he/she would say:"We were at the restaurant and it costed the price X" all the time..

I discussed with her about this and she feels that it is normal to discuss openly with everyone everything coming through her mind, including sensitive family matters.

Is this a trait of her culture?

When I talk with her about this she says that:"We do not need here psychotherapists like in the West because we talk to each other about everything". On my side I feel this to be a little bit like "breaking the borders of the family" while at the same time I understand that in former SU it was probably extremely important to have all the support from other people.

Posted by: FlashingEyes

It is a personal feature. There are some things that FSU people will discuss easily that are not commonly discussed in the West. But if she tells to everyone such personal details then people can use that information in not nice ways. She can make jealously in people around her. Most FSU women know about such possibilities, culturally. I think maybe many of the people she talks to like to hear all but do not themselves tell nearly so much. Maybe a few close friends may speak very openly with each other, but even then most FSU people know there are many things that it is better not to say. If her friends ask her about your personality, she can say that they should ask you.