After "Hitch" - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

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After "Hitch"
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Posted by: loulou

Some thoughts after the movie.

60% information about a person you can get visually -- looking at him.
30% inf is their gestures and sounds
and only 10% -- words, or our thoughts.

Some opinions about dating over the internet:
via corresponding one can get only 10% inf about the person;
30% one can get speaking with him/her over the phone.
and the bigger part of inf one can get only via meeting in reallity.

I've read only 20% correspondents finish meeting in reallity.
Does that mean that another 80% are players?
-- People, who play over the net to feed their ego: a married man with a big belly, enough overweight, who is very hard to move on, plays over the net a role of mobile young slim guy dating young unmarried girls. Then having hooked somebody virtually, he says: -- Hey, guys! I've done it!
That increases adrenalin in his blood and could give some fresh in relation with the present wife....

But what about people, who are unmarried, they want to meet someone... they are corresponding... but at once give up correspondence... sometimes they explain after that that felt like that girl was a scammer, or something like that...
That person got only 40% of a girl, how can he insist on she is something if he didn't get another 60% of her?

Well. Sometimes it's boring to me to hang on any site. I feel that I'm ready to give it up. Sometimes I left there my phone number -- in case if anybody wants to get another 30% of me

That doesn't work out. And once an old man wrote on that site that I'm a prostitute if I hang my phone there... I think so: even 150 people in my town know my tel numbers -- they call me about business, study at university... etc. Do they mean me as a prostitute?

What do you think about these 60%?
Have anybody of you such experience: you were communicating with a girl. then you met her and the meeting impressed you badly. Why?

Posted by: GreenBarb

I felt like giving up on the internet dating, when I got a message form a lady. It intrigued me and I answered. We used WebCams

so I would say I knew about 70%. The first day of our meeting was a bit awkward but after that we relaxed and it felt like we knew each other for years that it was Natural for us to be together.

It takes time for things to develop between people but for talking over the internet or via E-mail all you can do is wait for the first meeting and see what happens and the best of Luck. You have to take that first step though or it is all for nought.

Posted by: loulou

Quote:

Originally posted by GreenBarb
You have to take that first step though or it is all for nought.

GreenBarb, unfortunately I have experience only in first step -- in getting 10% , that's why this thread is interesting for me

men, who are corresponding with me, scared to send their pictures or meeting with me

probably they are married and communication with me via the net gives them power to stand their wives

Posted by: GreenBarb

I am sorry that you have come across that 10% there are decent guys out there. I suppose I should count myself lucky. I have met a wonderful woman, who loves me and I love her.
I would not give up if I were you, you will meet the "Dead Beats" and the "weirdos" and those who are just out to inflate their own egos. But keep fishing you will get a bite

I personally cannot understand the mentality of such people but they are out there. If I were you and they will not send a photo or will not commit to a date for a visit then cut them loose.

Do not waste any time on them and don't dwell on it. I know it is hard but you will feel better in the long run. My GF told me that she had gotten messages form men before me that, let me put it this way if it was me "I would have to be dug out of them".

So you are not alone in getting e-mails of that kind.

Best of Luck

Posted by: searcher

Just to show the types of emails that are sent to women and the photos look at the antidate site.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/antidate/

I must put a disclaimer though. On that site there are some explicit photos that men have sent to women and details of the emails they have sent.

There are sex tourist and others just looking for a good time.

Posted by: Texas Proud

Quote:

Originally posted by searcher
Just to show the types of emails that are sent to women and the photos look at the antidate site.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/antidate/

I must put a disclaimer though. On that site there are some explicit photos that men have sent to women and details of the emails they have sent.

There are sex tourist and others just looking for a good time.

WOW..

What surprises me is the diversity of people on this site..

I see a number of what I would call good looking guys and some that are not that great.. So, a lady that writes to this average guy must be looking for the right thing

However, some of these guys scare ME!! Tell me ladies, what would you think of someone who was showing off thier pistol (and I mean a gun!!)?

Too bad I do not know Russian to read what some of these guys were up to!

Posted by: PrincetonLion

Quote:

Originally posted by searcher
Just to show the types of emails that are sent to women and the photos look at the antidate site.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/antidate/

Oh, what an enjoyment!!!

I especially like this one:

"�� , �� , �� , � �� black list"

("He is known by using Russian women as cheap prostitutes, and after that putting them into Black List")

I have only one little question... So, these women agreed to be used as cheap prostitutes?

Posted by: alenika

Quote:

Originally posted by PrincetonLion
I have only one little question... So, these women agreed to be used as cheap prostitutes?

Those women often don't know they are considered as cheap prostitutes. They meet a man, like him, believe his words or what else.
...hmmmm imagine what those men who are scammed by women think - that they love the woman that she loves them, they want to help and send money. Or they want to get her and send money.
The same with those women. They are mistaken and thinkthey are loved, liked, they don't think they are used.

Posted by: alenika

PrincetonLion Also privet from Privet and RWA

I believe I saw you there. I also believe you were missing �� . They are very tasty here still

Posted by: loulou

Quote:

Originally posted by GreenBarb
Do not waste any time on them and don't dwell on it. ....

Best of Luck

Thanks

Anyway I don't think that I waste my time answering to the messages even if they are without any serious intentions

Why? Because I really believe that there is only 10% of a man with whom I am writing. It is his will to show another 90% or not, I haven't got money enough to suggest him to pay his trip to the sea side, or visit him in his town. It is his choice -- to pool my leg over the net or to have any intentions...

I think lack of money is one of the reasons why Americans write a lot to Russian girls. I haven't got any illusions and I know that even 60 minutes of communication in reallity could show much more than 60 messages in virtuality.

Anyway internet -- is only one of the means of communication. There are a lot of others.....
And I know a lot of girls, who don't get even one message for several months via the net -- that means that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth

Posted by: wchever

Quote:

Originally posted by alenika
Those women often don't know they are considered as cheap prostitutes.

Cheap? Excuse me, but I've been checking airfare to Moscow. Factor in visa, hotel, transport and eats.

I'm sure there are sickos that get more of a thrill from the deception rather than the sex. Going to a legal brothel in Nevada is likely much cheaper.

Some guys just need to be avoided.

Posted by: Leprechaun

Im asking what is 40% of someone?
How can anyone gauge these stats?
I doubt if anyone could know 100% of me but me.

So i figured it out.
1% i know what perfume she like, 2% she has a very sexy accent.
no wait thats two things, i know her accent & I know shes sexy,
is that 3% or 4%, she likes ballet thats 6% shes cultured and likes ballet.......

See......... impossible

and what if the other person is quiet on the phone and writes little too?

Whats strange is these stats are actually what I have learned in my sales education. they are part of the sales bible for salespeople all over the world.

Dont sell yourself short when it comes to dating on the net.
;o)

Posted by: loulou

Quote:

Originally posted by Leprechaun

Dont sell yourself short when it comes to dating on the net.
;o)

When it comes to the term of "sales" I think that depends on the age of partners. Anyway communication via the net could be only a cause for meeting in reality. I may be wrong, but I think so. By the way , Hitch said that three meetings are enough to understand if you need each other or not.

When one writes letters over the net, one thinks a lot -- what to write, where to keep silence, in which form to write to make a great image of oneself etc. -- I call that "to sell oneself properly". But in reality it is no use to make any image -- you partner looks at you and doesn't need any words. he sees your face (if it is wrinkled or not), he sees their body shape, their gestures, their walk, hears their laughter, understands their manners, then he understands her without any words -- he looks at her and understands everything.

What is the use to prolong the term of "selling" over the net? - Yes, it could be cheaper for a man -- if he pays for his trip here, he should write as long as possible to understand that his money on trip wouldn't be wasted. But that doesn't matter for a woman.

And as for me I like when a person can keep silence. I mean he can be silent when you need it. It's impossible to understand that over the net ever for long communicating.

Posted by: Ron048

Loulou,

I have met several women in Russia.

Begin there with your questions.

First two times the woman is misleading me about whom she is, her health, family or other issues.

Third time is a charm. She is great woman; intelligent, well educated, speaks fair english, has good family. She introduces me to family and friends. Most speak some english, always have translation dictionary available..
Now have been to her home three times and we are comfortable together....

About all of men that write and do not go?? Perhaps some have no idea about cost of travel to Russia or as you say are players.

Is unfortunate that you cannot discern real from players without much time, email, phone calls.

If marriage to American is what you want, first must realize and ask correct questions of persons intent for writing. Do they want penpal or are serious. And this is not something to ask in first one or two email. Do not use L*** word in any correspondence until you meet the man.. Keep safe distance and with words build friendship and see what becomes of it..

Just some ideas from American with serious intention..

Posted by: loulou

Ron, thank you

I don't judge by two persons and dream to meet a real American, or even as you say "a player" with whom will play the next 10 years of my life. I've investigated there are a lot of men in internet who are not players or gamblers, but pain in the ass who want to find a doctor in Russia

And they cannot even play or pay for that. They are sick, tired and need an object who will listen to how different are his legs... or something like that.

Anyway, good luck with your beloved woman!

Posted by: heatherlatyshev

I know a great couple, close friends of ours, who met over the internet and are very much in love, and have accepted each other's lives and families. This amazed me at first, seeing as I had really terrible experiences with dating ppl I had met through the internet. But they truly knew everything about each other before they met.

I just think that my experience, although bad, led me into my marriage to a wonderful Russian man who loves me and my girls and will spend the rest of his life caring for us. If it weren't for the horrible experience I had, I wouldn't have found my Oleg. So, there does seem to be some perks in internet dating, if you look closely that is.

Posted by: PrincetonLion

This is really wonderful!
One more AW / RM couple!
�� !!!
I little bit envy your happiness Heather...

Posted by: dakotaridge

The antidate site should be required reading for every guy here. I only found out about it because somebody mentioned it in passing. Without this kind of site, we have no idea what some of these women are really going through. It seems there are comparable problems on both sides - they play out differently, but as far as severity they seem to be pretty much balanced. Mostly because of the agencies, the men in this process are rarely exposed to the women's side of things.

Posted by: heatherlatyshev

I don't think this should be considered an "anti-date" sight. I personally know of several RW who have met AMs and have completely fallen in love and become wonderful wives. I have a close friend who is a Slovak woman who met her husband while she was working on a cruise ship and spent over a year meeting with him and they fell in love and she has since then moved over here to the US and they are living a very happy life together. Knowing all the details of the marriage that I do, I guarantee that she puts up with a lot more crap than I ever would with a husband. But she truly loves him, and they met over very peculiar circumstances, but she was raised by her mother to marry one man and stay with him forever, and she is completely living up to the whole Russian wife culture or tradition or way of life, however you want to put it. I could spend the rest of my life trying, and I could never meet all the expectations that my husband should have of what a wife should be. Russian wives are very special and put every American wife to shame as far as I'm concerned. They are "super moms" and "super wives" and if you marry a RW who can not live up to those expectations, than you did not look for the right woman.

Posted by: Khashyar

Welcome to the Russian Meeting Place, Heather, and thank you for your contributions.

You voiced an interesting perspective, Heather.

It's wonderful to have another American-Western couple here. We have a couple of very active American women here who are married to Russian husbands, so I know that they will enjoy hearing your voice and experiences as well.

Welcome.

Khashyar

Posted by: dakotaridge

I never thought I'd see the day. A FEMALE in THIS FORUM who actually has praise for and positive things to say about RW. This is historically unprecedented, Earth-shattering, mind-boggling, and, IMHO, a very good thing.

WHICH plane of Heaven do you come from???

The antidate site was referring to another place on the web; it's the RW's version of a black list and there seems to be no shortage of candidates to put on it.

Posted by: dakotaridge

Quote:

Originally posted by Khashyar
... so I know that they will enjoy hearing your voice and experiences as well...

I wouldn't be so sure ... they certainly weren't very receptive to hearing any man say these things about RW....