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Am I being set up?
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Posted by: Phil_Devon

Hi, this is the first time I've written to this site and I'm after some advice. About a fortnight ago I got an unsolicited e-mail from a girl in Russia and we've exchanged a couple of letters. I wasn't specifically looking for anyone from Russia and this came as abit of a suprise. I've since done quite a lot of reading about all this and I'm not sure if I'm being set up. The letters I've got from her don't seem to fit the pattern of the scam letters I've read on the net and neither does the frequency, but I'm still suspicious as this all seems to good to be true. Can anybody comment about this please! Cheers, Phil.

Posted by: jpierce55

That is how it started for me, and she was a scammer! I have read many scammers aproach men who are NOT looking for Russian women because those are the guys that don't know what to look for.

One of the women I emailed who ended up being a scammer wrote very individualized emails after the first two (obvious forms). She answered questions, asked questions, etc. The emails left no doubt she was writing only for me. Eventually she forgot what city she lives in and even mixed up her name once. Duh! I always felt something was wrong because she seemed to enthusiastic, I was mentally prepared. Mind you I did a background check on this girl (not something I felt right about) and found she was real, but that does not mean she is who I corresponded with.

Ask questions my understanding is most scammers one answer all of them. Look for inconsistencies. And don't get attached fast. I proved another scammer false by sending flowers.

Posted by: Ade

Hi Phil, some more details would help. For a long time I was in contact with a woman who seemed genuine, never tried to get anything out of me in 6 months communication, but doesn't live where she told me she does, so something fishy isn't always easy to see.

Ade

Posted by: Phil_Devon

Thanks for your advice guys. My gut feeling is that its bogus, but there's that little voice saying " but it might be genuine..." I'll just wait and see, and be careful.

Posted by: Phil_Devon

Got a few more details now. I don't want to go making any false accusations, so I've left out the girls name and city. She only appears to respond to short e-mails and that's within 24 hours; The longer e-mails with more extensive details don't produce a response at all. There's usually a lot of statements about what love/relationships mean to her, accounts of what she's been doing and quite a lot of questions about my views on love etc. According to her, I'm becomIng a bigger part of her life with each e-mail. My name usually only occurs at the beginning of the letter. I've checked the ip address for her e-mails, and they appear to be coming from Moscow rather the city she claims to be living in. I haven't got an address or phone number yet, and I don't know how she's accessing the internet. There's a picture with each message which look like they're taken by friends and the files only have numbers which aren't sequential. Anybody got any comments?

Posted by: Pin Boy

scam...don't waste any time on this

Posted by: jpierce55

Even with my little experience I know this! It only takes a couple of times and a little common sense to pick out a scammer.

Say something along these lines: You can't be falling in love with me that fast, if you believe that you are fooling yourself or you are a scammer. If you are a scammer quit emailing me, if you are sincere continue. If you are a scammer you may as well quit because you will get no money from me.

I sent that same message to a girl that ended up being a scammer and it worked I was never emailed again.

Posted by: Phil_Devon

Pin Boy and jpierce, thanks for your comments. I sent a message along the lines suggested and I haven't had a reply yet. Looks like that's the end of it and I won't be wasting anymore time going nowhere. I'll have to put that down to experience. Thanks again guys. Cheers, Phil

Posted by: grhodes2

This is how my scam artist started out also. Individual e-mails started out nice and easy, the third e-mail she was in love with me, and the 6th e-mail asked for money. This went for a week and a half.

Greg

Posted by: fly4fun

Some things stand out when corresponding with scammers.

In brief, any letter you send that requires a thoughtful response will, more than likely, not get one from a scammer. Just takes too much time and she has lots of emails to write.

Here is an example: Ask her the following question:

If you could see your life in three years, what would your life be like?

There are variations of this but you get the picture. I'd also be interested in some feedback on this question as to whether it can be phased differently for better Russian translation?

Most on this board could come up with quite a detailed picture of how they would like their life to be with their new partner. (at least I hope so) If you can come up with this detailed picture, why can't the person you are writing to do the same. Afterall, this is a major committement.

The bottom line is the scammer will ignore the question and go on to other topics which are easier to cut and paste.

Just an opinion.
Bob

Posted by: Phil_Devon

Well, its been three weeks since I sent the last message and I haven't had a reply, so I think that's settled the issue. The weird part of all this is that I'm rather pleased that it all happened, as it made me get off my lazy backside and start approaching internet dating more seriously. I wouldn't have found this website and didn't even consider looking in Russia before because of all the stories and stereotypes, so its given me another option. Is that sort of reaction common? Cheers, Phil.