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Average Male Age: Am I Too Young?
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Posted by: alypius

I was wondering if anyone has any ideas about the lower end of the male age spectrum. I typically see men between 30 and 50, but I assume that is because of financial security, likelihood of an earnest commitment, etc. I am 23 and wonder if there is the possiblity of being viewed as insufficient or immature.

Thanks!

Posted by: inlove

Yes, you are too young to be thinking of marriage.

Wait for a few years, have fun, marriage is not going anywhere, you can always get married later.

Posted by: Jutman

Hmm

It depends on what you want in life. If you know you what you want in life and you can find somebody who wants the same, then its great.

So to your question, is you the only person who can answer it.

..and if you know what you want, it will be a little hard to find a FSU who wants the same, but not immposiible.

So good luck, with you life - single or ..

Posted by: alypius

Thanks for the advice guys. Funny thing is most of my friends are now married and they are either younger than me or just a year older. Guess it's just the sub culture I exist in here. I do have plans to live aboard in Russia at least for a few years. I have been there several times already. So I don't think I'm as crazy as I must have just sounded to you guys.

I was just wondering if you have run into guys that have had success with an overseas engagement at a young age. Thanks again.

Posted by: jpierce55

Even at my age of 27 is seems I am to young for most of the FSU women. 22 is about the only age that responds and one 24 year old responded. If I was you I would still give it a shot, but just keep in mind you are going to have to aim for 18-19 year olds.

Posted by: inlove

Quote:

Originally posted by alypius
Thanks for the advice guys. Funny thing is most of my friends are now married and they are either younger than me or just a year older. Guess it's just the sub culture I exist in here. I do have plans to live aboard in Russia at least for a few years. I have been there several times already. So I don't think I'm as crazy as I must have just sounded to you guys. I was just wondering if you have run into guys that have had success with an overseas engagement at a young age. Thanks again.

If you are going to live in Russia, you will meet some girls who would be interested in a serious relationship with you, despite your young age. These girls would not advertise themselves as potential brides to the westerners on the Internet, but rather meet somebody in a more traditional way. And if the stars are right..

The once that are looking for western husbands via marriage agency usually are interested in older guys that have established themselves.

Posted by: Jill

Personally, I too think that 23 is (for most people--not all) too young to get married. I was engaged at about that age and THANK GOD it didn't work out! If I had gone through with it.....

But that is, of course, up to you.

As for RW, inlove is right. Many of the RW on marriage sites are looking for financial security/stability and therefore are sometimes more interested in a guy over 30 or so.

On the other hand, some marriage agencies warn their RW that there are more older men looking for Russian brides than younger men, so they advise their clients to list an older age group (or range) so that they have a better chance of getting responses. So some RW who say they are looking for an older man might actually be interested in a younger one, but just don't think the liklihood of finding one is very good.

If you are thinking of living in Russia--by all means go and see what happens. What have you got to lose really?

Posted by: alypius

Thanks everybody, that clears some of the fog. You have successfully empowered me to make a decision while not making me feel ignorant or incapable.

I wish more parents were like that!

Posted by: Vyesna

I got married when I was 23 and I have to say I would have been more ready at 25, but fortunately things worked out (and my poor husband suffered those two years I needed to grow up still). I got married after a year of teaching in Russia, to a Russian. If you think you are really interested in Russia-- then go teach English there. You are at a good age to do it. It's not hard to get a certificate, although it takes a bit of investment (a couple of thousand bucks), which is no more than it would cost to actually court Russians from over here anyhow. With a certificate you can get a job pretty easily and the pay is more than enough to live on.

Posted by: jpierce55

Sorry for the hi-jack,

Now you make me think I should really consider moving to the Ukraine! I don't know if things will work out between me and Tanya, but it sure seems like it would help, and I know she wants to move to the Republic of Komi after her college.

I got to say the area she wants to live (Komi) is very beautiful, and my intent had been on moving to Asheville NC. I like mountains and trees!

Regardless I need to learn Russian first!

Do you really think it would be easy to get a teaching job? And say I could take about $10-15,000 with me how far would that help on getting me set-up. (house down payment money I am currently working on)

Posted by: inlove

Quote:

Originally posted by jpierce55
Sorry for the hi-jack,

Now you make me think I should really consider moving to the Ukraine! I don't know if things will work out between me and Tanya, but it sure seems like it would help, and I know she wants to move to the Republic of Komi after her college.

I got to say the area she wants to live (Komi) is very beautiful, and my intent had been on moving to Asheville NC. I like mountains and trees!

Regardless I need to learn Russian first!

Do you really think it would be easy to get a teaching job? And say I could take about $10-15,000 with me how far would that help on getting me set-up. (house down payment money I am currently working on)

Wow! It has been what, 3 weeks? And you already are thinking of moving.. Wow..
I cannot say anything about a teaching job, but don't buy the house. You can rent there for cheap with no strings attached.
By the way, Komi is in Russia, it is much colder than NC..

Posted by: AkMike

" my intent had been on moving to Asheville NC. I like mountains and trees!"
Did someone drop you on your head?

There aren't any mountains in North Carolina! Those are small hills. If you want to see mountains head this way!

Posted by: jpierce55

3 months not 3 weeks! I don't think I would do it RIGHT now, maybe next year! I don't feel so comfortable as to say I think things will work out between me and this girl, it is a 50/50 chance.

Yeah I read about that Republic of Komi weather, and I am cold when it is 60 outside!

Posted by: chaika

AkMike, excuuuse me (in Russian, ��), but we do have mountains, and our mountains are older. So there! Plus we have one of the oldest rivers, strangely named the New River, that flows in the wrong direction!

Seriously, I know our mountains are nothing compared to the newer ones out West (I lived in the Bay Area and visited Yosemite many times). But Ashville looks like a wonderful place to live, except, like the Bay Area, it is getting expensive.

I myself would love to live in Asheville.

I think we have a Russian group in Asheville. and I know that Russian immigrants abound in the Triangle Area (Chapel Hill- Durham- Raleigh) where I live. OTOH Russians settled in Alaska, and from there moved down to settle in California. Annual festival coming up in July at Fort Ross. Here's the link:
http://www.leica-gallery.net/obryk/folder-5232.html

oops (in Russian that's ��, stress on the /o/), that's a little boring. Check out the chorus that I used to sing in:

http://slavyanka.org
which you will be able to hear there this summer.

Posted by: Pawel_PL.USA

For me 60 F is the perfect temp. I think it should be like that all year round !

In Chicago we have the worst damn weather in the whole US of A. 6 months of bitter cold and 6 months of sweltering heat and humidity. When I came to this country 12 years (August, 1993)ago I asked my dad "what the hell is this - Africa ?!!!" ...

Posted by: AkMike

Chaika, I have been thru the NC area several times. It just isn't my cup of tea. I don't like the urban areas or the big citys. Anchorage is the biggest in this state and it's only 300,000 or so. I enjoy the mountains and even snow. The raw magesty of this land never ceases to amaze me. I've been here since `66 and plan to continue until I can no longer ride a snowmobile! This is one I took last week.

Posted by: jpierce55

I don't like cities or urban areas either, that is why near Asheville is so great. You can live just a little ways outside that city and be in what seems like total isolation, and it is in the mountains.

I could not live in the city itself as I live in the farmlands of Ohio. (dull and boring like you can't imagine)

Posted by: Pawel_PL.USA

My and my lady are city people, we just love the big city and both of us can't stand the American suburbs. Nothing better than a nice neighbourhood in a big city.

Posted by: RobOhioGuy

Quote:

alypius,

Whats the rush? So most of your buddies are married.... They will also have kids in a few years and by the time they are 30 they will be wondering what is going on and half of them will be divorced with child support payments that push them dangerously close to poverty. Is that what you want?

Man, enjoy life while you can! Focus on things like having some fun and getting yourself set financially. Worry about marriage after you are debt free, have 30-50K in the bank and you're a home owner. LOTS of my clients are right around 30 are in this very position. Trust me, life is a LOT easier when you meet Ms. Right and you have your finances in order.

Posted by: dakotaridge

Quote:

Originally posted by inlove
Yes, you are too young to be thinking of marriage. Wait for a few years, have fun, marriage is not going anywhere, you can always get married later.

Point? Counterpoint! If you want to get married now, then you need to start working on it now. You cannot live your life according to somebody else's timetable; according to what's right for them. Nothing in all of life is more critical than being who you are and deciding for yourself when it's time to do what. If others make you wrong for it, override that and do what you feel is right anyway. You will never go wrong that way.

Posted by: jpierce55

Quote:

Originally posted by dakotaridge
Point? Counterpoint! If you want to get married now, then you need to start working on it now. You cannot live your life according to somebody else's timetable; according to what's right for them. Nothing in all of life is more critical than being who you are and deciding for yourself when it's time to do what. If others make you wrong for it, override that and do what you feel is right anyway. You will never go wrong that way.

Absolutely! I am tired of hearing this "you are to young stuff". The reason marriages fail is not because people marry to young. Just look those same people get divorced over and over no matter how old they are. 200 years ago people married at real young ages and stayed together for life. Why? Divorce was not acceptable and they were forced to work out their differences, and most had happy marriage in the second half of life. It takes work and people aren't always willing to make an effort these days!

My mother was 15 and my father 20 when they married. Despite the un-natural age difference they are still married 20 years later. One couple I went to high school with started dating at the age of 14-15yrs of age and married as soon as they could. 10 years have passed and they are together.

Just my 2 pennies although I am sure somebody will be critical of it.

Posted by: dakotaridge

Quote:

Originally posted by jpierce55
Just my 2 pennies although I am sure somebody will be critical of it.

Everybody except me.

And it could happen that you go through 6 or 7 bad marriages before you figure out how to make it all work for you. Maybe that's how you need to learn whatever you need to learn and there's just no other way. You cannot be faulted for that. If that's the case, then get started! Or, your first marriage could last for life. You'll never know until you're married.