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Advice on if I should call?
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Posted by: jpierce55

Here is my problem I never did like to talk on the phone, in general I am poor in phone communication. I am not relaxed talking on the phone and have a hard time making humor.

The last time I tried to talk to an Ukraine girl on the phone it ended poorly and she never emailed me again. I believe that is partially because she did not know English as well as she thought (very poor). I know this girl speaks English better but I am not sure how well.

She told me to call her this week because she is visiting her parents. (she lives with her grandmother) She also said I could SMS messager her. Do you think I should just stick to the messages, or should I call? Do you believe she will think I do not care if I don't call?

I really don't want to mess things up with this girl.

Posted by: Jutman

Hi

If you want to win her, talk to her to. But I would recommend you use a 3rd person as a translator. Its cost a little, but misunderstaning is avoided.

However you make a breaktough in your relationsship by talking to each other. Even just listen to heer voice and she can listen to yours.

So thats me penni. Good luck.

Posted by: jpierce55

Quote:

Originally posted by Jutman
Hi

If you want to win her, talk to her to. But I would recommend you use a 3rd person as a translator. Its cost a little, but misunderstaning is avoided.

However you make a breaktough in your relationsship by talking to each other. Even just listen to heer voice and she can listen to yours.

So thats me penni. Good luck.

Thanks, she does not believe a translator is necessary. It probably is not, her degree she is woking on is a "culturologist" and I guess languages are part of that.

I am thinking it may be best to SMS her and tell her we can make a brief call? That way if things are difficult to understand we can end the call quickly, does that sound reasonable?

You are right I do want to hear her voice!

Posted by: AkMike

Call her! It's just a small part of the adventure you've embarked on.

Posted by: Ade

Talk to her!! Unless you really mess up, by talking stupid, she will be glad to hear from you - and you her, I'd hope.

You can't build a relationship on emails and text messages. Worst you can do is realise you need some Russian lessons.

It is harder without seeing facial expressions, body language etc - but it will be more real for talking.

You don't need to try to inject humour - you probably don't know her well enough for that anyway; just call her, say hello and tell her you're glad to hear her voice. Anything else is a bonus.

And learn Russian!!

Posted by: jpierce55

I am working on the "learn Russian" part but that is a slow process, not exactly something I can do overnight. I don't know of any schools I can go to learn it, so it will be a self taught thing.

I do have the benefit that I am use to working with Russians/Bulgarians/ and Czech people so I understand some of the speech difficulties we will have (words to avoid).

It may be a small step but it sure is a scary one.

Posted by: Pawel_PL.USA

Of course you should call, that's my opinion.

My approach to calling women is to usually wait a few days after she gives you her tel nr. Me and my lady exchanged handwritten notes at work after we met for over a month (via a nice Russian guy who works there and knows us both). After that I ran into her there and she gave me her nr. I didn't want to call that day though so as not to seem desperate. I decided to give it a few days and called her for the first time on a Monday (she gave me her nr. on Thursday).

That was late July. Now it's almost April and we talk almost every night after 9 PM.

Posted by: jpierce55

I called! The weather is bad hear and the call had to be cut short to only seven minutes. I told her it was raining and the phone was cutting out, she understood. We ended up doing a few SMS messages instead and will try again later this week

I can tell we will have some difficulty talking but her English is good enough that I am sure we can work around it.

I got to hear her voice and her laugh and that was great! It was also great to hear how excited she sounded when I called! So even though it was only seven minutes I think it was a good thing.

This girl seems so perfect for me I realized that the first email she sent I just hope I can get her convinced the same. She has pretty much told me a meeting is necessary to develop much further, I agree.

Posted by: AkMike

See you didn't need us to help that call. Just make sure to take small steps to really find out about each other. Play it slow and steady.

Posted by: jpierce55

It will be very slow. She has no plans on marriage for at least two more years, when she graduates from college.

So far I think we have a really good friendship going, we have discussed that if things don't work out we should try and stay friends. Hopefully it works that way, but I would like to think it will work out for more.

I can't help but to feel if I walk away from this all with nothing more than a good friend it was still worth it.