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Scam - a derserved thing
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Posted by: Jutman

Hi

Most of the time I read about a Western man being scammed, its the girl who gets the label BAD.
I am not agree about this. I have been scammed myself, loong time ago and with my knowledge today - it was my own fault, mainly because my english is my 2nd and with the feeling of joy, happiness you don't think rationel. Looking back, it was dead rat - and I could'nt just smell it.
However I really don't blame her since it was my lack of knowledge and dreaming who made it possible.

If you look at the various blacklists, I would say approx. 80% of the pics there is from girls who simple look to good = the man choose from the exterior instead of looking at the interior. I am sorry, but these men bloody derserve it. Lucky these men who find a Penthouse girl as a wife, but its should be a de bonus, not the main issue.

I believe its a lack of knowledge who cause this. Like that Russian are so poor, the girls will take any man who can get them out of the country. Which of course is far from truth, especially since many of the women are well-educated and have good job/business.
Anotehr one is that that Russians are dumb people, but guess what. They are not, and some of the less pretty girls are so brainy they got you at a hook called scam.

So guys, be honest, we are drollers and dumbs a@@ who derserve it. Take it like man and learn from it. Then you hopefully ill get lucky, like meand find a Princess.

Posted by: Jill

I don't know that it's a deserved thing, but I definitely think that it's a preventable thing (at least 90% of the time). Maybe that's the same in a way?

Posted by: alenika

Quote:

Originally posted by Jutman
If you look at the various blacklists, I would say approx. 80% of the pics there is from girls who simple look to good = the man choose from the exterior instead of looking at the interior. I am sorry, but these men bloody derserve it. Lucky these men who find a Penthouse girl as a wife, but its should be a de bonus, not the main issue.

I mostly agree with what you say Jutman. I don't know if "deserve" is appropriate word though. Because nobody deserves to be hurt... But those who are scammed seek for being scammed yes. I'd also wantto add that those who are scammed very often are the same user-type people as scammers themselves. Those victims of scam don't think about giving,they think about trade. When one thinks about anyhuman in terms of trade then this one doesn't respect people, doesn't try to get to know them, is not attentive enough. Then where should be way to make people torespect others and to considerthem not like a subject of trade, but equal people. Who cannot be bought, even if they pretend to be sold.

Posted by: wchever

"I mostly agree with what you say Jutman. I don't know if "deserve" is appropriate word though. Because nobody deserves to be hurt... But those who are scammed seek for being scammed yes."

There is a classic movie, which this conversation reminds me of, called "The Flim-Flam Man", with George C. Scott in the leading role. A "flim-flam man" is a con man, swindler, diddler, fraud, cheat, grifter, chisler, etc. The tag line for the movie as professed by the main character,

"You can't cheat an honest man."

Posted by: rattlesnake6979

If the root of a scam is money how true the words of the Book of Proverbs in the bible which says that any man who tries to buy love will be hated or to paraphrase in language which anyone can understand ... it is offensive and hatefull to be thought of as a commodity which is can be bought especially when the commodity is LOVE which isnt a commodity but in fact an ACTION based on a reaction to someone.

I do not agree that an internet scam where there is a request for money and then a disapprearence of the lady are neccessarily " deserved " or just desserts . But in my book if something looks too good to be true then I know it is too good to be true in 99% of all scenarios.

Many men ( me included ) have in the past gone off externals and this is a fatal error. The BEHAVIOUR of a person is more important than the words or the picture - the fruit of somesones actions really tells you the truth and after observing you then will be able to know whethert someone is for real . I suspect denial is a large part of the problem for many men ( me too ) as well as the inability to think logically without fantasising.

Rattle

Posted by: alenika

Quote:

Originally posted by wchever
"You can't cheat an honest man."

Great quote - I agree with it wholely

Posted by: loulou

I know a lot of girls who have beautiful externals and are nice in communication and have very strong character.
And I'm sure that the external has a great sense. And I'm sure, the picture of a person could tell a lot about him/her. Why not? As for me I like looking at picture. As for my mom she can tell the whole life of a person looking at his picture. There are some men in internet on dating sites here who don't place their pictures on sites. They are guarding their secrecy -- and then some later when you at last can look at his photo -- you see a big belly, short height and swollen face

Then you learn that in addition he has a wife and several kids --- there is another kind of scamming problem, on the man's side.

Probably, somebody deserves it, if he/she hasn't got enough experience. Experience - is a great thing. A man wrote on a dating forum:" Every next women who I meet is better than the previous one. And I'm sure finally I will find my half". he is right.

As for me - I've been hanging on different forums in internet for second year. My experience now is better than it was before, in the beginning. There are less people who were successful and met what they want at once. As usual even once you could be cheated

Posted by: Jutman

Quote:

And I'm sure, the picture of a person could tell a lot about him/her.

YES. If she dress nicely = a good girl. If she is semi-nude = a less trustworthy.
When I wrote the exterior, I meant men choose a girl from her looks and not her personality, which can be seen at the pic.

Posted by: wchever

"When I wrote the exterior, I meant men choose a girl from her looks and not her personality, which can be seen at the pic."

Which is just hilarious to me. Forget Phototshop. I have photographer friends, and it's amazing what can be done with makeup, lights and angles. Anyone that falls in love with a picture is just asking for disappointment.

I got lucky. Based on her picture alone, I would not have first chosen my Lady to write. But she wrote to me, I responded, and it was only in subsequent pictures I saw how physically beautiful she really was!

Matches her personality.

Posted by: Jutman

As I wrote, that is a bonus. Be happy for that.

Posted by: loulou

Quote:

Originally posted by Jutman
YES. If she dress nicely = a good girl. If she is semi-nude = a less trustworthy.

Why not? I read somewhere that a lot of Americans when dating girls over the net ask for their pictures in swim suits or topless. British prefer when a woman is wearing wholly -- long dress, socks and a hat. Germans prefer women are wearing in the picture white blouse, black skirt and brown helmet. Russians prefer women in pioner tie holding telephone receiver in her hand. Men from Denmark prefer when a woman is in sporty suit and with oars in her hands. .....There are nation preferences. And I don't understand if a woman could take her picture on the beach wearing bikini and brassiere, and then sends this pic over the net -- is she a scammer? or she is an American?

Posted by: wchever

"I read somewhere that a lot of Americans when dating girls over the net ask for their pictures in swim suits or topless."

Loulou,

These are probably 15, or 55, year-old boys collecting pictures to impress their friends or liven up their lonely nights.

No true American man would ask a woman for a topless photo. We are much more prudish about a woman's breasts, so that request would be deemed very low-class. Contrary to what you might see in the media, we do not all buy "Girls Gone Wild" tapes.

Tacky, jus' tacky...

Posted by: loulou

Quote:

Contrary to what you might see in the media, we do not all buy "Girls Gone Wild" tapes.

Tacky, jus' tacky... [/B]

you meant porno?

But I don't believe when Americans say that shape or body doesn't matter and interior is of a great importance. Yes, that's good. But the whole picture exterior+interior are preferable. There are o lot of other surprising things in internet -- for eg. you are writing with a man over the net for some time, he saw your pics, even he likes you -- but he doesn't send his pics, and doesn't want to call you.... What is it? only curiousity? being as a practical person, I cannot understand such behaviour. Are Americans practical or not?

Posted by: Jutman

Quote:

But the whole picture exterior+interior are preferable

I don't disagree. The question, does she has be model, lets say A or even A+ and her personality is C not to mention missing compatiblity between the man and and the women.
I prefer a A in personality and then hope for a B and good compatibility.

My personal opinion is of course that my wife gets a A+ in both.

And we get along fine.

Posted by: wchever

"The question, does she has be model"

But you see, that's my point in this discussion. If you saw some "super" models walking down the street in regular clothes, without the makeup, hair done, etc., you may notice, but the same WOW factor simply would not be there for most. If you look at many movie stars, the same applies.

I also think that the more you are exposed to a person's looks, and your own attitude towards that person affects their "beauty" more than anything.

Posted by: wchever

"you meant porno?"

No, it's some stupid series of recordings that show "regular" girls exposing their breasts. There are always lots of ads for them on later in the evening (when Mommy and Daddy are asleep, no doubt.)

Many Americans are not practical, Loulou. Certainly not in the sense that I think you mean it. Many of us do things that are not in our own best interest, make no sense, and will never yield any good. But I suppose there are a few Russians like that as well.

I think what you are experiencing is just Internet communication. It gives some a sense of power to know that they can say whatever they like because they cannot be seen.

Let me tell you a little story...back in 1985 I worked for an online service called Compuserve, before the Internet was popular. One part of this service allowed people to chat (the first to do so) Part of my job was to monitor these conversations for obscenity, threats, etc. On one such day, three men were having a conversation with one "girl." After several minutes, she informed them that she was going outside to was her $85K sports car. At this point I knew "she" was lying. Why? If you own a car made by them, you don't spell "Lamborghini" as "lamburgini."

Posted by: Texas Proud

Quote:

Originally posted by wchever

I also think that the more you are exposed to a person's looks, and your own attitude towards that person affects their "beauty" more than anything.

I agree with this...

I am interested in someone who looks good to ME..

there are some that are model looking, but do not have a personality... not someone for me..

there are some that look like a model, but their look does not appeal to me.. not someone for me

some that look like models when 'made up', but ordinary when not... good personality... this is someone that is a candidate..

And, the lady that I like the best... she looks good (not model, but GOOD) and has not glamor shots.. she is looking better the more I look at her!! And she has 'crows feet' around her eyes, and other signs of being 36, but they look good to ME... and so far it seems she has a GREAT personality... is this not the kind that you want??

Posted by: alenika

About appearance and personality. I think both are important. And I also think that only one part of the person is taken in account and if someone is attracted only to one side of me - then this would make me to feel a part, not a whole and I wouldn't like to be a part and would go away.
It's better to stay whoone is - that is the whole - both appearance and personality and to be loved for everything together. It would give me very unpleasant feeling if Iknew that someone loves me for my legs, for my eyes, and doesn't notice my kindness, wisdom, understanding and what is the most important - my endless modesty

Most people and especially men (we say in Russian that men love with eyes) are more sensitive to outside of people. This is quiet natural -because it's much easier to see outer appearance that the essense of theperson. But seeing only oneside of someone means to limit this one with own opinion, to cut maybe very attactive hisor her sides. Respect to the person means attention all the time, any moment - attention to all the sides of this person. And not letting ourselves to limit the person, to make only shell from the whole person.
lol I hope I didn't mess up words too much and it's understandable what I wanted to say...

Posted by: Pawel_PL.USA

I think it is quite often a deserved punishment for nasty, old American jerks who want a nice, young Russian chick to play the role of arm candy to elevate these guys egos.

But then human nature comes up with evil ideas with much more ease than with thoughts of how to do good.

Posted by: loulou

Quote:

Originally posted by Texas Proud
... is this not the kind that you want??

I like very slim guy, who is evil, nervous. I'm dreaming - he hasn't got any sense of humour. I'm nasty, and making him more and more nervous. He cannot laugh ( he is very serious), he is smoking... I'm making up any story...hmmm...I tell him how it was nice when I was in bikini on the beach and any guy said to me: hey, girl, you have nice butt... And I answered: really? hi-hi

) And then I tell him that that guy took a picture of my butt. hi-hi

At this moment my guy swallows his �igarette and smoke goes out from his nose and ears and mouth. Well. Then I take a pillow and start to shut up his mouth and his ears to put out the smoke. For some time he cannot understand what I am doing. He is mannered and he hasn't got any idea how to stop me. When he cannot breathe already because of lack of air, he tryes to push me. I look at his eyes and see there his wish to live. he puches me again, I fall and loose my pillow. Then I cry :" vendetta! harasment!! box!! " and I go for my boxer's gloves. They are hanging near my bed in the bedroom. Then he stands up, catches me up, and starts to kiss me...

such personality I want

Posted by: sidney

Quote:

such personality I want

I wish you luck in your search but it may be some time before you find your dream mate.
Sid

Posted by: FlashingEyes

Why? I think Pepe Lepew is still around and meets all the requirements.

Flash

Quote:

�� sidney
I wish you luck in your search but it may be some time before you find your dream mate.
Sid

Posted by: loulou

Quote:

Originally posted by FlashingEyes
Why? I think Pepe Lepew is still around and meets all the requirements.

Flash

"�� , �� , �� !"
��,�� , � �� ?

Posted by: Leprechaun

looks fade then what?

Beauty - Skin deep.

Posted by: FlashingEyes

Je suis Marxiste, tendance Groucho.

Posted by: wchever

Quote:

Originally posted by alenika
Great quote - I agree with it wholely

Here's one. I was written by a 26 year-old along with two pictures. I wrote back that I was too old for her. She wrote that age didn't matter to her. I wrote that it did. She wrote about children. I said I didn't want anymore and find someone else. She wrote that was OK and to come visit on her upcoming vacation. Here's the last bit...

me: "Lena, You should write to others. I have said I believe you should find yourself a nice, younger man perhaps to have many children with."

"her" reply: "Hello my dear. I am very glad that you love me and have very serious intentions in our relations. I love you and I want that we have faster met."

This would be funny if I had more time. I guess not answering the auto-responder is the best way to go.

Posted by: povlhp

If you line 10 girls up, I might skip the most beautifull, usually because she will often think herself and her appearance too important. This leaves me with 9 candidates that might all fit my requirements better.

My RW is way more beautiful without her lipstick, and I can see on images I received after returning, that she also likes her new style (lip-gloss instead).

It is the inside that counts, and some of the inside traits are reflected externally.

Posted by: Pawel_PL.USA

Don't say that to a Western European or American woman, because most of them think that the most important thing is that a man be tall, slim, handsome and good-looking. I don't know where such shallowness comes from, but I think it's the fact that Westerners are such plain bored, spoiled by wealth and embarrase de richesse .