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Posted by: lechef

I have found two genuine ladies I am talking to now. Boy it took allot of deception to get to a real lady. I have told them that I am in conversation with two ladies and soon will decide which one I will continue to communicate with, was this wise? I have to be honest as I do not want to play games with them, did I do the right thing..

Posted by: ConnerVT

I vote for -- unwise.

You are conversing. I hope you are not professing your undying love to either of these women at this point. So you are not being disloyal to anyone if you speak (write) to more than one person at a time. Trust me -- odds are you are not the only man they are writing to.

Women do not like to hear that there are other women. Even if you are telling them that the others are no longer there. Most prefer if their man used a little discretion. Just as they will be using if they are writing others.

It's easy to find a person to fall in love with. It is many times more difficult to find the right person to fall in love with. I never understood how you find this special person by writing only one person at a time. Use this time to find them, and find out more about yourself, and what things are important to you.

Posted by: lechef

Quote:

Originally posted by ConnerVT
I vote for -- unwise.

You are conversing. I hope you are not professing your undying love to either of these women at this point. So you are not being disloyal to anyone if you speak (write) to more than one person at a time. Trust me -- odds are you are not the only man they are writing to.

Women do not like to hear that there are other women. Even if you are telling them that the others are no longer there. Most prefer if their man used a little discretion. Just as they will be using if they are writing others.

It's easy to find a person to fall in love with. It is many times more difficult to find the right person to fall in love with. I never understood how you find this special person by writing only one person at a time. Use this time to find them, and find out more about yourself, and what things are important to you.

conversing not being dumb..I will not and do not lend my heart out like a cheap perfume. I been around the block a few times and always keep people at arms distance. I was just trying to be nice as this is in my nature. I still believe being truthfull is the best way but I guess I will soon find out if this was the right decision. I was reading this morning one of Lena post and it did said to let them know up front but oh well only time will tell if it was a not so good stand to take.

Posted by: searcher

I agree about being honest. I think women would prefer to know they are dealing with an honest person.

Posted by: Texas Proud

Quote:

Originally posted by searcher
I agree about being honest. I think women would prefer to know they are dealing with an honest person.

I vote be honest also... but do not be stupid like me... one asked for details 'not wanting to be #125 on my list'... someone from this sites personals...

I told the truth and said I had just started to write letters and was receiving letters form X number of ladies, but knew some were not right for me... never heard from the lady again...

I have also been told that out of respect, I should have have said ANYTHING in a letter...

However, I am truthful and hope to find someone that can put up with my big mouth

Posted by: lechef

Well I said to the two ladies that I was in communication with another woman and that I wanted to be honest with them and that I have no intention to play games. I would hope they understand and that I was not going to keep communicating with both of them for long and that through our conversations we would know if we would like to continue. If this is putting my foot in my mouth then it is a learning process and one I will understand soon enough. So I rolled the dice and hope I did not offend them at all. Why try to start a relationship with a lie? or not being honest and concealing the fact that I am being totally truthful with my intentions. What if one of them asked if I was in a conversation with another I do not think it would be proper to say YOUR THE ONLY ONE..

Posted by: Texas Proud

Quote:

Originally posted by lechef
Well I said to the two ladies that I was in communication with another woman and that I wanted to be honest with them and that I have no intention to play games. I would hope they understand and that I was not going to keep communicating with both of them for long and that through our conversations we would know if we would like to continue. If this is putting my foot in my mouth then it is a learning process and one I will understand soon enough. So I rolled the dice and hope I did not offend them at all. Why try to start a relationship with a lie? or not being honest and concealing the fact that I am being totally truthful with my intentions. What if one of them asked if I was in a conversation with another I do not think it would be proper to say YOUR THE ONLY ONE..

Lechef.... I think that is what everybody is saying... be honest. If they ask, tell the truth. If one gets mad and stops communicating with you, then you learned something valuable about her, that she is jealous and in denial or trying to manipulate you..

I work on the assumption that every woman is communicting with other men. I do not know how many they are, but others.. to me it is not wise to narrow your search down to one without every talking to them or meeting them... an example...

I was looing on match.com before starting to look for a FSU woman (interesting story for later!!) I exchanged letters with a nice lady and we seemed very compatable... finally we decided to meet each other for lunch and then dinner... there were NO sparks on either side... I do not know why, but nothing... so, somone that looks good on email and pictures might not be the one in real life.

Just my opinion

Posted by: rtking

Lechef... I agree with the others: Honesty is the best policy. It may not be pleasant knowing that you're dating other women, but at least you're honest about it. Olga was a little taken aback on our first date when she saw that I had flowers for multiple women. (I fumbled the flower giving badly.) But I was honest with her and let her know who else I was going to date and that I was an honest man. She got over it and now we're engaged!

I think it's important to date a few women. Communicating by email or telephone is fine, but only meeting in person will you find if you have that "Click." I've had great conversations with women and have found out that I just didn't have that "click" (or spark) with them. Even on my trip to Kiev last August (when I met Olga) did I find out that I didn't feel anything special for two women that I thought I would have the most in common with. Instead, Olga really captured my heart from the beginning and I would have never known it had I not gone to Kiev to meet each and every one in person.

Good luck!

Bob

Posted by: lechef

Well by now I should have received a letter from the two, so as I look at it now this may not have been the right thing to say to them as I have not herd from them so far. I still think as you all have so eloquently stated that honesty is the best policy as the stand I took was the right decision.

Posted by: Leprechaun

why didnt you get them to slug it out in a ring for you? hehehe

Seconds Out......... Round one.............

I went across eastern europe to meet the two that I was writing to. After meeting i knew which one was right, I said nothing before as i didnt want them to think they were in some kind competition to be my girl or that I was some kind of player on Leps wild oats tour of Europe.

after the other I told I have met someone else & my girl i told her i saw someone else. honesty is right but only when the time is right to avoid hurt or complications.

its ok to date women at the same time and say nish as its none of the other womans business who im dating anyway but when one becomes your girlfriend well thats another story.
These ladies though were also writing and planning to meet other men, I guessed it then and i know it now but its none of my business who they date while being single..... i was never asked if i was writing to others.

you said you didnt want to play games with them but by telling them you are writing to others could mean you may have played games with them.

its a toughie =o)

when asked am i writing to other women i usually reply

"yes, i write to women, men & any other nice else up for a good chat"

Posted by: povlhp

When I told the 2 woen I was still writing 2, it came as a surprise for the onme of them. So i quickly made a decision, and it was actually her that won, and the one I will be visiting.

she lives in Siberia where it is pretty cold, as they said in the local news here yeatserday, -35C is not really that cold in Siberia. Breathing does not become a problem before -60C.

Posted by: Leprechaun

Good luck then,

Brrrrrr cold =o)

hope she warms your heart.

Posted by: andrei

Unless she lives in Sakha Republic or on the Arctic Coast, that info about the temperatures is definitely not true. )))))))) Being a South Siberia resident I've never experienced a day colder than -40 C.

Posted by: ConnerVT

Quote:

Originally posted by andrei
Being a South Siberia resident I've never experienced a day colder than -40 C.

Ahhh... Beach weather!!

Posted by: povlhp

I was just citing the local news here. She lives in Barnaul, and it is around -35 there on the coldest days according to weather forecasts. And it is pretty cold, the indoor temperature is not 20 degrees C.

She tells me, that when I arrive in a little over a months, it will be spring and 10-15 degrees C which is perfect. Means I have to bring T-shirts and shorts for running.

Posted by: searcher

Quote:

Originally posted by povlhp
I was just citing the local news here. She lives in Barnaul, and it is around -35 there on the coldest days according to weather forecasts. And it is pretty cold, the indoor temperature is not 20 degrees C.

She tells me, that when I arrive in a little over a months, it will be spring and 10-15 degrees C which is perfect. Means I have to bring T-shirts and shorts for running.

Don't worry... I was in Omsk around this time last year. It was fine and I didn't get too cold... there were some rare moments when my hands got a little cold but that was all

Anyone up for a visit to Northern Siberia?

Posted by: Datco

Strangely enough, I might be meeting someone in Omsk - but maybe trying to meet in Turkey in May where it is warmer, -35 seems pretty cold to me !!