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Russian people and trusting other people...
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Posted by: Khashyar

Hi everyone...

I have heard several times before that Russian people tend not to trust others outside of their immediate family, and that this is a result of both history and culture.

I have heard that this is because Russian families have historically needed to rely only on their families because there was always a threat that someone outside of the family might turn another person in to the police, the KGB, etc...

Historically, I have heard that the Stalin purges had a lot to do with this, and people had a good reason not to trust strangers, and even friends, since acquaintances often turned others in to Stalin's secret police...

Does anyone have any specific experiences about this??

This way of thinking is different than an American's way of thinking, for example. My experience with America is that people try to be friendly to others, even strangers, even if this friendliness is a surface gesture.

On the otherhand, in Persian culture, Persian families will often invite a stranger into their home for food and conversation, and Persian culture is very open to foreigners and outsiders...

I also know that is is said that Russians may not be outwardly friendly or open to strangers, but once you become a friend to a Rusian, then you are a warmly-treated friend for life...

Does anyone have any thoughts about this??

Khashyar

Posted by: Jutman

Hi

I think you are right on target !!!

I just have this small adding:
One reason for the lack of smiles in Russia, is they did'nt need in Sovjet time due to communism, where the capitalistic approach demanded service, such as a smile to the customer. This is still very clearly in Russia.

Posted by: merlin

[QUOTE]One reason for the lack of smiles in Russia, is they didn't need in Soviet time due to communism, where the capitalistic approach demanded service, such as a smile to the customer. This is still very clearly in Russia.

I agree with all the above and also add from a Russians point of view a smile when given is genuine and therefore not given to strangers until they get to know them, there is a belief that if you give a smile to a stranger you don't intend to value the relationship.

It was interesting when I was in Spb last November one of the restaurants we went to was managed by a woman who was obviously finding it very difficult to adjust to giving customers a smile and a welcoming approach, you almost felt ordered to your seat and told YOU WILL enjoy the meal. Actually Katya pointed her out and said that some Russians found it very hard to adjust to the more relaxed post Perestroika lifestyle.

In the West we use smiles frequently but I feel you can usually tell when a smile is not genuine. Katya only smiles when she really feels it which I misinterpreted at first as her being a very serious person which isn't true, but it made me realise just how many times people around me smile so an absence of a smile became very noticeable.

Terry

Posted by: merlin

I have copied Katya's response to the question to give a Russian perspective on it:

............Well, I think that to have some prejudice against strangers, people, "who are not like us" is typical of human kind on the whole, and has deep roots in the subconscious level.
Maybe. for the Russian people it is more characteristic, than for some other European people, but the reason dates back not to the Stalin times, but to the times of Ivan the Terrible. The Stalin regime was possible, because of some ethnic features, which became evident in the times of Ivan the Terrible, and
possibly are connected with the early history of slavonic tribes.

As for the lack of smiles, it has nothing to do with the Soviet times, it is connected with the mentality of Northern people. The Finnish don't smile much either. Anyway, it is by far better this way, than the artificial and insincere smiles of Americans, produced by them perhaps not always, but very, very often.......

Posted by: Volga Trader

I am told that a British friend of a friend whom I do not know personally is earning over Ł100,000 a year in Novosibirsk selling pensions. He is now leading a team of expat Brits. He is supposedly successful because Russians trust foreigners (& especially Anglophones and Germans) to be more honest with money than other Russians. When pressed for details on how to contact this guy and get a job/learn the business my friend was vague on the details. Could be an urban myth. However, it is not the first time I have heard it said that a foreigner can set up a deal a Russian couldn't because of trust issues. I have been taken on a few myself as the honest broker.

Meanwhile, any suggestions as to who to contact to become a Russian pension salesman?

Posted by: Kathy

Quote:

Originally Posted by Khashyar

Hi everyone...

I have heard several times before that Russian people tend not to trust others outside of their immediate family, and that this is a result of both history and culture.

I have heard that this is because Russian families have historically needed to rely only on their families because there was always a threat that someone outside of the family might turn another person in to the police, the KGB, etc...

Historically, I have heard that the Stalin purges had a lot to do with this, and people had a good reason not to trust strangers, and even friends, since acquaintances often turned others in to Stalin's secret police...

Does anyone have any specific experiences about this??

This way of thinking is different than an American's way of thinking, for example. My experience with America is that people try to be friendly to others, even strangers, even if this friendliness is a surface gesture.

On the otherhand, in Persian culture, Persian families will often invite a stranger into their home for food and conversation, and Persian culture is very open to foreigners and outsiders...

I also know that is is said that Russians may not be outwardly friendly or open to strangers, but once you become a friend to a Rusian, then you are a warmly-treated friend for life...

Does anyone have any thoughts about this??

Khashyar

My father in law, God rest his soul, was a dissident who spent many years in prison. He used to tell my husband "Have only one friend. Then you will know who betrayed you."

My husband never trusted any of his friends. Not one. And that is the only reason he lived long enough to emigrate. He also didn't trust a lot of his family members.

Posted by: Jutman

A oldie brogth alive.

I think I would answer a little different today.

Posted by: Novosibirsk1

My great grandfather and great uncle were arrested under the infamous article 58. Legend has it their politics were "unsound" (maybe they were dangerous thought criminals, oh my how horrible!). I can say with some certainty that this contributed to the closed nature of this side of my family. I can not say but imagine this to be true for some others?

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