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advice? who to pay
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Posted by: Jutman

Hi

My wife has a GF and is introducted to a southern european man. They have communicated by mail for about 6 weeks. He suggest they meet in Easter, she say yes.

He suggest they meet somewhere in Europe, not his own country.
She invite him to Russia, to her home town. But he refuse.
He insist on, that they meet somewhere else. This is okay, but she must pay everything for herself.

What is that? what kind of man is this? what is his motive?

- sorry I ask, but for me, i can't understand this. He should know thats its so difficult for her to raise this kind of money.

Posted by: FlashingEyes

I think most likely he wants a free or subsidized vacation with a beautiful woman who pays for most of it. He prefers a European country because probably he can travel there anonymously, without applying for a visa. In fact, if he doesn't travel to Russia he does not ever have to reveal his real name if he chooses to pretend to be someone else. But for a visa application to Russia, of course he would have to give his real name. He seems very clear about what he wants. Does your wife's girlfriend consider the question: is this what she wants?

Posted by: GreenBarb

This smells like a rat to me. Could be one of those Good-Time Boys.

If he was genuine he would do one of two things:
1/ Go to Russia to meet with her.
2/ Pay for the cost of the accomodation in the European country.

He will have no visa problems to deal with being an EU citizen.
How much about this man does she know? Has he sent flowers to her?
I would be very careful about this guy!

Posted by: Jutman

hi

We kinda guess this to. He did seem a very nice guy.

Another info: he lived with his GF after they broke up. She was from another EU country.
The reason to why he can't go to Russia in Easter. He is a nato officer, and during this time, they are not happy about foriegn military people in Russia.

I have meet her myself. She is not sa scammer. She has visit a western man before, and said no, because she did'nt love him.

Posted by: GreenBarb

Hi Jutman,

NATO or not if he was genuine he would want to be seen to do the right thing.
To me that would be to pay for the accommodation. Espcially if he knows that it would be difficult for her to meet all the costs.
Has she told him that it would be difficult for her to raise the finances to go?

The fact that your wife knows her, I doubt she is a scammer. So there is no fear of that happening.

Posted by: povlhp

There is one more thing, you could call him to actually see what opinion you get about him, and convince him it is normal for him to pay.

But I also think it is a western scammer. Has she checked out some of the blacklistrs used by RW ?

Posted by: Jutman

Hi Povl

No, I did'nt even know there was one for women. She is a novice at computer and english, so I am 99.9% sure not.

Posted by: povlhp

I can't remember where I have seen it, but I know for sure there are such places. There are men that invite women to visit them, or go to somewhere, and just enjoys the free sex, and never pays for the womans travel even if agreed on.

Read a few stories like that.

Since he is a NATO officer, and not allowed to go to Russia, he might not be allowed to marry a Mata Hari.

I am pretty sure my friend who has a pretty high security clearance can go to Russia without problems, and on my skydiving trip to Russia last year, we had a female officer, working in Brussels, on the tour. She believed so much in secrecy that she did not want her pictures taken. She went to russia no problem. So my guess is that it is a scammer with a bad excuse.

Confronting him, and asking him closer about it, letting him know there are relatives in Europe, and cross-check his information with the military intelligence service (FE) might get him to back off.

Tried to call FE once, they were happy to answer the phone. Not too many calls these days.

Posted by: GreenBarb

My GF works with a Girl that this happened to. He invited her to him and then big Dump when she returned home.
These guys are the lowest of the Low. They play on a persons feelings and hope for happiness. For their own gratification.

My advice to your wife's friend " Drop Him like a Hot Potato"

These sort of guys only make it harder for us genuine men who are looking for love and the right woman.

Thankfully my GF

knows the sort of man I am and that I would never do anything to hurt her and she is likewise.

He is definately up to no Good. Because if he was genuine he would not treat her this way.