Says she wants to be my wife!!! - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

	The Russian Meeting Place: A place to meet people and talk about all things Russian... International Discussions about Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Travel, Music, Russian News, Ukrainian culture, Belarusian Dating, Moscow, Saint Petersburg, Kiev and other intelligent topics about life in the former Soviet Union.

Pages: 1

Says she wants to be my wife!!!
(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)

Posted by: ColoradoGuy218

I got scammed on a previous relationship. But, it was pretty obvious for even a beginner to pick up on. Didn't loose anything (except my heart). But, now I think I'm a bit wiser and therfore have been cafreful. I have been emailing a nice girl from Russia for about two months. She answers all my questions and seems very sincere. Lots of casual snaps shots of her at home (a couple of studio photos). But, the weird thing is that after about 7 or 8 emails she tells me she knows enough about me and wants to be my wife! At first I just played it down and told her that we need to go slow take it one step at a time. But, the more I think about it, the more strange it seems to me that she would say such a thing. She tells me that she loves me dearly and can't live without me. I think it all started after a couple of fairly romantic letters that I wrote to her. But, I never said I loved her or that I would marry her. Just that I really like her and think about her alot. You know, things like that. Then all of a sudden pow! She just lets it all out about her feelings! From what I have been reading about Russian women, this seems completely out of character. She hasn't asked for anything yet! Anybody have any thoughts?

Posted by: Pin Boy

hi

what are your ages? what else do you know about her? occupation? living arrangement? etc.

be wise...it's impossible to fall in love with someone you have never met....keep us posted when/if the request for $ comes..."Oh, my friend knows someone who can get me a visa and flight for ___ amount of $"...blah, blah, blah

then she is either naive and someone else is using her or she's sharp and trying to use you....

just be careful and keep the flowery romantic letters in check; be realistic and welcome to the discussion

pin boy

Posted by: ColoradoGuy218

Hi PinBoy,

well, she's 25 and I'm 38. She says she works at the museum and gave me a link to the museum website (seems legit). I thought about contacting the museum, but decided that wasn't a good idea. Might get her in trouble. She has given me her mailing address and I asked to talk with her on the phone. She said her girlfriend has a phone and she could call me from there. She asked for my phone number and I gave it to her. Then I may have confused her by telling her that I wanted to call her at her girlfriend's and please give me her girlfriend's number. I tried to explain that it would be better that way, because I could easily pay the cost. So, now the phone call subject seems to have been avoided by her in the last two letters. Maybe, not intentionally though. It's hard to tell what's going on at the other end. Really, everything seems cool, except for this unexpected show of emotions on her part. And of course, her letters stating that she so badly wants to be my wife and have our children. She even opens the letter with "From your loving wife"!!!

Posted by: James Riske

She's a scammer and you're being told a lie.

Bottom line. Dump her.

Your best bet is to go to Russia and me them in person first before all this love nonsense.

Trust me..I've been all up and down this and the road leads to the same place: nowhere.

It's BS!

Russian woman are not angels of a different breed or anything like that. They are women as we've always known them: cold, manilpulative, money-grubbing *****es.

Dump her and score one for the guys.

Posted by: Jim_FL

I don't think I can write so eloquent like James

But his thinking is right. This is COMPLETELY out of character for a russian woman (or any woman). She can't be in love because you haven't met, period - end of story. If she was 17 (and from a village) maybe the romance of the letters would affect her judjement, but not at 25. I am not so quick to scream SCAM! as others on this board, but this ain't lookin' good

Follow your gut instict.

Posted by: Jill

On the off chance that this is true (that she wants to marry you after only two months of letter writing and having never met you in person), she must be really flaky, impulsive, and VERY immature. Are those the qualities you're looking for in a wife?

"From your loving wife"? Hmmm..... It sounds like something a 12 year old would write. Or a sociopath.

But, I have to say, I have trouble swallowing this in the first place. Something here just ain't right, in my opinion...

Posted by: Pin Boy

colorado,

forget this one and don't waste another keystroke on her or try to bother wasting time to call her bluff...just move on and maybe the next woman you write to will be sincere...godd luck

pin boy

Posted by: ColoradoGuy218

Thanks everyone for your input.
Yes, this is exactly why I decided to post on this forum. It just seems out of character for a Russian woman of 25 to write like this. I'm just going to let it run its course and see how it turns outs. I will most certainly keep my guard up and not send any money. Hopefully, I will gain a little more experience and wisdom from this, so that I can continue my search for that special woman.

Posted by: Leprechaun

how will you get out of this without getting hurt.

Dont write.

she is either a scammer or has serious emotional problems that need to be sorted out.

she will break your heart or you are gonna break hers.

Are you desperate?
3 words..........
FISH, MANY, SEA.

Welcome here BTW!!!

Lep

Posted by: Lola

Quote:

Originally posted by Pin Boy

be wise...it's impossible to fall in love with someone you have never met.

Possible, I know this from my own experience
also dear men, don't write such categorical what is in russian character and what is not
if you know the russian women so well, why none told here that we, russians, don't get used to give our data (including the phone numbers) so easy???

Posted by: ColoradoGuy218

Lep,

I know you are probably right. But, I like to think that everyone is different and it's just difficult for me to lump all russian women together in one category. That is to say, that just because she doesn't follow along with what we all think is proper, she then must be a scammer, or that something is wrong with her.

I am being cautious, but it's hard to know what's really going on in her mind through email. Maybe, she thinks that we Americans want to hear this sort of thing. I don't know. But, I guess until she actually does or says something that is truly wrong, I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt (for now). I told her that I plan on visiting her and that we should both wait until we actually meet, before making any commitments. She didn't seem to have a problem with that. But, she says that she still knows in her heart, that I'm the one. Whew!

I'm still trying to get to talk with her on the phone. I figure this would be an appropriate next step. Then I want to use a flower delivery service to verify her address and take a photo of her upon delivery of the flowers. This should be interesting! Anyone out there use flower/photo service before? As far as getting my heart broken, well it won't be the first time. I figure it's just part of the risk of searching online for Russian women. Lots of pitfalls!

Posted by: Leprechaun

You have made youre decision and thats cool with me.
=o)
good luck.
look after yerself, dont get hurt and dont forget us here ;o)
you will get the broadest range of opinions from our members.

Lep.

Posted by: povlhp

I also think there is something wrong here. She might be a scammer, or have emotional probs as one writes, but there is also the possibility that she is really desperate (bad sign. She will pick the first to get away, and then the relationship is secondary). I have the impression, that some places are poorer than other, and in some of the poor places, the desperation is higher.

Or maybe she is afraid you are a scammer (someone that goes to Russia to have free sex, and not interested in relationship).

Tell her it is too early to talk marriage, that you are not a scammer, and most important, tell her when you plan to go visit her.

But be prepared to turn the back and run.

Where does she live, and how did you meet her ? My Russian GF is with an agency, that is also interested in helping things to work out, and they told me to contact them if I felt I needed more info. So maybe contact the agency, and question them about her.

Posted by: ColoradoGuy218

povlhp,

She replied to my profile on webdate. She also had her own profile on webdate, but closed it out after we had corresponded for a couple of weeks. So, no agency involved. She lives in a big city, Nichniy Novgorad and works at one of the museums there, as an art specialist.

Posted by: FlashingEyes

Ah ha!

Well that explains a lot!

"Welcom to the Gorky Park
Everybody's comming to it
Don't be frightend of the dark
Everybody's gonna do it"

LOL

Seriously, I think if you intend to continue spending time writing this woman you should immediately hire a PI and have her investigated.

Posted by: Jim_FL

Quote:

Originally posted by Lola

also dear men, don't write such categorical what is in russian character and what is not
if you know the russian women so well, why none told here that we, russians, don't get used to give our data (including the phone numbers) so easy???

In this case I wanted to be sure so I asked my wife, my response reflects her views as well as my own. I think the fact that she was born and lived in Russia for the first 29 years of her life, should qualify her to field questions on russian culture, as much as anyone.

Quote:

Original impressions of my wife
This is COMPLETELY out of character for a russian woman
--------&---------
If she was 17 (and from a village) maybe the romance of the letters would affect her judjement, but not at 25.

Posted by: Jim_FL

Quote:

Originally posted by ColoradoGuy218
She lives in a big city, Nichniy Novgorad and works at one of the museums there, as an art specialist.

Interesting, unless I'm mistaken (and I may very well be) There is only one art museum in Nizhniy Novgorod and it's been closed for the past 2 1/2 yrs (it faces the Strelka and is situated at the other end of the promenade from the Kremlin and statue of Valerie Chelokov).

Posted by: Leprechaun

a starting point to research museums

http://www.admcity.nnov.ru/english/

Posted by: ColoradoGuy218

In her second letter to me, she told me the name of the museum and actually included a link to it. I have gone to the website for the museum and it is an active website, with address, telephone number and email contacts. Of course, that doesn't prove it is actually open.

Posted by: Lola

Quote:

Originally posted by Jim_FL
Original impressions of my wife
This is COMPLETELY out of character for a russian woman
--------&---------
If she was 17 (and from a village) maybe the romance of the letters would affect her judjement, but not at 25.

so I was 36 y.o and I live all my life in Moscow (if you know this village

) and yes I fell in love through letters before I had met him in reality and my man wasn't in hurry to report me on antiscam sites
though that is because he is not an american, even don't know

Posted by: Jim_FL

I'm glad it all worked out for you!

Umm, did you fall in love with your man in 7 or 8 letters? or did it take maybe just a little bit longer?

Posted by: Lola

Quote:

Originally posted by Jim_FL
OK

I'm glad it all worked out for you!

Umm, did you fall in love with your man in 7 or 8 letters? or did it take maybe just a little bit longer?

should I send you my picture right now that you could post it in antiscam site? I have fell in love with him in 2 days we started chatting

Posted by: ConnerVT

Don't fall for the bait, Jim. Easy enough to see a trolling post, even if it is coming from a RW. Funny thing, though -- seems about as militant feminist as any die hard Oprah watcher!

Thing is, I'd question ANYONE who falls in love after two days of chatting on a computer. Not that they are a scammer, but whether they would be emotionally or intellectually stable enough to form a strong, long term relationship with. Typically, this is the mentality of a teenager who's just reached the puberty stage of life -- not a maturing woman.

I need not travel half across the planet to find infatuation. This can usually be found closer to home.

Posted by: BrianV

Hi Coloradoguy!!!

I gotta say that is a little quick to be falling in love and talking marriage. But hey, who knows? See where it goes and just do not get too overly excited.

It's a small world. I live in Glenwood Springs and will be in Nizhny in about two weeks.
I'll stop by the museum and just see if it is open.

Have a great day!!!
Brian

Posted by: Lola

Quote:

Originally posted by ConnerVT
Thing is, I'd question ANYONE who falls in love after two days of chatting on a computer. Not that they are a scammer, but whether they would be emotionally or intellectually stable enough to form a strong, long term relationship with. Typically, this is the mentality of a teenager who's just reached the puberty stage of life -- not a maturing woman.

well how mature you are to suspect everybody who is able to feel not in the same way as you of scamming, some agenda, immaturity and insanity
I can only feel sorry about you - you have never loved and hardly will, you have never been loved and hardly will be. You missed something in you life, mature one

Posted by: ConnerVT

Troll post

Posted by: Lola

Quote:

Originally posted by ConnerVT
Troll post

well that is exactly about your posts on this board, I have noticed your antirussian tendecies, and by the way not only me

how do you come you know the russians better than all other ppl on this board? maybe that is bacause some nice girl had kicked your ass, and the signs of her high heels remained on your buttocks for ever? Maybe you should merely wash your butt and then the life will seem to you more sun?

Posted by: Jim_FL

Quote:

Originally posted by Lola
well how mature you are to suspect everybody who is able to feel not in the same way as you of scamming, some agenda, immaturity and insanity

While it is generally accepted that "love" is a conscious decision. It is also generally accepted that this decision should not be entered into lightly, and without much thought, analysis, and introspection.

My opinion is that one simply cannot learn enough about another over a period of 2 days (or even 7 to 8 letters) to make a pragmatic, prudent decision in matters of this much importance.

Posted by: Lola

Quote:

Originally posted by Jim_FL
While it is generally accepted that "love" is a conscious decision. It is also generally accepted that this decision should not be entered into lightly, and without much thought, analysis, and introspection.

I only wonder who were these mature ppl that generally a��epted something about this subject where and when they have accepted this?

Posted by: Jim_FL

Well, just for kicks, maybe we should start an anonymous poll

[edit]
poll is up and can be found here

Posted by: novotul

Maybe now that this poll is going, we can return this thread to Coloradoguy218.

He seems to me to be a pretty reasonable guy. His writing partner declares her love for him quickly. He finds it odd enough to ask the group for opinions, but at the same time he is calm enough in himself to continue giving her the benefit of the doubt until she "does something truly wrong". A lot on the list criticize him, but I admire him. He doesn't really know who is correspondent is, and, I gather, he hopes she turns out to be the right woman for him. And so, I hope, do the rest of us!

It looks to me like he is approaching all matters cautiously, and with good sense. Maybe a lot of people wouldn't have the nerve to continue with someone professing love so fast. But it could work, and this is what a lot of us are looking for. I'm pulling for him, and was saddened for a few days to see his string distracted with the vitriol that took over. I'm hoping we hear more from Coloradoguy218, and I wish him the best of luck!

Posted by: ConnerVT

Quote:

Originally posted by Lola
well that is exactly about your posts on this board, I have noticed your antirussian tendecies, and by the way not only me

how do you come you know the russians better than all other ppl on this board? maybe that is bacause some nice girl had kicked your ass, and the signs of her high heels remained on your buttocks for ever? Maybe you should merely wash your butt and then the life will seem to you more sun?

This is a good example of a troll post. I shouldn't even bother to reply, but I will:

"Anti-Russian tendencies"? That would be a great surprise to my wife, our son, her family, and my Russian friends living in Russia, Canada, and the USA.

I don't quickly say that a person is a fraud. There are many different levels that people undertake the male-female interaction. Some are sincerely looking for a life partner. Some are looking for a friend, or something to pass the time. Some are looking for money, a free meal, trip or gift. Some are looking for a visa. Some are looking for sex. Everyone, both men and women, have an agenda when they begin conversing with one another. It's only when the motives of the two people aren't compatible that feelings get hurt, and accusations fly.

Has a nice girl ever kicked my butt? I suppose, and I've kicked a few nice butts out of my life as well. But I'm certainly not scarred, and the people who know me better than you are aware that my advice is usually sound.

Posted by: Leprechaun

Here Here Vitorol Ya I agree, He was very brave to write this here and I wish him luck too, He knows exactly what the outcome may be but he is gonna go for it anyway. He wont be sending money & is willing to live learn & learn if he has made a mistake.
He knows exactly what he is doing & has other plans too.
That shows to me a brave & prepared level headed man.

He knows there are people here who know how to give good solid advice from both sides of the coin in a caring yet truthful way.......... and they are actually the people he listened to. =o)

I find the either an asprin or the "Ignore user" feature great for headaches.

Posted by: James Riske

Colorado guy knows at this point that it's a scam. She's either going to ask him for money in a visa/ticket scam or she just wants to hook a guy to bring her over here and then leave right away or wait a couple years to get a green card and his house.

No normal well-adjusted person falls in love over a few emails. She's probably writing to a couple hundred guys with the same BS, hooking in a few suckers to send her money.

Sorry Lola, it's whacky. Infatuation and crushes are not love.

Posted by: Lola

Quote:

Originally posted by James Riske
Colorado guy knows at this point that it's a scam. She's either going to ask him for money in a visa/ticket scam or she just wants to hook a guy to bring her over here and then leave right away or wait a couple years to get a green card and his house.

your supposition cannot consider as a basis for allegation it's scam, did she share with you her futher planes? then demonstrate this
until you prove she ask him for money all your words are only rubbish

Quote:

She's probably writing to a couple hundred guys with the same BS, hooking in a few suckers to send her money.

she have all right to write not only couple hundred guys... by the way I know a lot of westerbet involved in online dating procaess who write to couple hundred girls.. so what?

Posted by: ConnerVT

Lola, even if it's not a scam, is this the person to put your faith, hopes, and dreams?

An AM/RW relationship takes much effort. It requires trust, both in each other, as well as confidence in yourself that you have chosen well.

Even if she isn't a scammer, her actions are certainly questionable. There certainly are better people in the world to begin a relationship with...

Posted by: BradIL

Quote:

Originally posted by Lola: she have all right to write not only couple hundred guys... by the way I know a lot of westerbet involved in online dating procaess who write to couple hundred girls.. so what?

Agreed, so what? Writing isn't the problem, trying to get money when you're writing is the problem.

Lola, you mentioned you fell in love in 2 days. Is this a western man? Is he sending you money at your request?

Posted by: Lola

Quote:

Originally posted by BradIL
Agreed, so what? Writing isn't the problem, trying to get money when you're writing is the problem.

but I repeat again & again & ahain : prove she is trying to get money and we will speak about scam

Quote:

Lola, you mentioned you fell in love in 2 days. Is this a western man?

Yes, he is from Scandinavia

Quote:

Is he sending you money at your request?

Never ask, I earn enough, but I have to say if I asked him for money he would send me. I am sure

PS. I ask him often to send me some magazines. May it consider as a scam - media scam?

Posted by: BradIL

Quote:

Originally posted by Lola: PS. I ask him often to send me some magazines. May it consider as a scam - media scam?

Ooooo. If I "hit you up" for russian magazines, does this mean I will be inducted into the antidate.net hall of fame/shame/blame? Scammer Brad is trying to swipe wildlife magazines with pictures of naked animals... it makes a scandal.

Oh no, I'm trolling, just after ConnerVT warned us.
Its Mr. snak for me, and NO immodium!

Posted by: ConnerVT

Ooooohhh... naked animals....

No Brad, you're not trolling. Wisecracking, yes. Trolling?... nah...

Posted by: BradIL

Posted by: James Riske

Lola,

"""""""but I repeat again & again & ahain : prove she is trying to get money and we will speak about scam"""""""

It has all the earmarks of a scam. I can almost guarantee 'she' will ask him for money eventually. (most women do anyway).

You seem overly defensive of women who want money from men or manipulate men for attention, money, favors, or property; any reason for this?

Any sensible person knows this about his situation: She's either a mentall-ill fool or she's trying to manipulate him for some reason by telling him she loves him after a few emails.

End of discussion. That statement and truth is patently obvious to any logical-minded, mature person reading this.

I'm guessing she's trying to manipulate him, therefore there has to be some reason. And if there's a woman behind it, nine times out of ten, it's money. But since she's a Russian woman writing to an American man, there is also the possible reason of her wanting to come here and get a green card.

There's nothing controversial about that at all and as I've said, it's patently obvious.

If colorado guy doesn't heed our advice and warnings, he'll get burned and learn his lesson as we all do in life.

(as a side note Lola, please don't take this as a personal attack at all, but you really need to talk to a professional about your love infatuation you have with this man after two days of emails. It's a sign of something deeper troubling you. It has nothing to do with him, you don't know him at all.)

James

Posted by: Lola

Quote:

Originally posted by James Riske
as a side note Lola, please don't take this as a personal attack at all, but you really need to talk to a professional about your love infatuation you have with this man after two days of emails. It's a sign of something deeper troubling you. It has nothing to do with him, you don't know him at all.
James

Thank for advice, James, but have to say it is too late
2 years gone as I had fell in love with that man "that has
nothing to do with",,, and we met in reality and I feel this "love infatuation" still (or maybe this is simple love?),,, but for your pleasure we both will talk to a professional about our feelings and then will report you about results

Russian Meeting Place Copyright ©2000 - 2008, www.russianmeetingplace.com and Khahsyar and Lena.