What have you learnt from a long distance relationship ? - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

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What have you learnt from a long distance relationship ?
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Posted by: rattlesnake6979

I would like to share what I have learnt over the past 3 years in my search for THE WOMAN of my dreams .

1) Stereotypes are not true .
2) Russian is a language like any other - it can be learnt and with alot of efffort mastered.
3) Photographs of beautiful women do not mean anything- only the reality of meeting the person counts.
4) Trust your intuition - in the absence of a body guard or an all knowing God , your intuition can be as good as these .
5) It is better to enjoy the travel to and in the fsu rather than making the meeting with the lady as the main event - if I am relaxed and interested in her country this will come across as will the opposite - too much pressure on either party is going to have the opposite effect.
6)Dental treatment is cheaper in the fsu than in England or USA !!!!!
7)It is very cold in winter ( -20 ) and very hot in summer ( 34 or more ) - new experiences for me .
8) Always take your shoes off when entering a house.
9) Never whistle in a house- bad luck
10) Never shakes hands with someone on the threshold of a door to a home - bad luck
11) Aeroflot has some of the oldest and MOST RELIABLE aircraft in the world .
12) Travel light - carry only what you need .
13) Macdonalds makes the best coffee and fries in the restaurant in Kiev.
Anyone like to offer what they have learnt ?

Rattle

Posted by: rtking

rattlesnake6979, your list is pretty thorough and I completely agree! Especially point #5: Better to enjoy your time and experience the country than to add undue pressure to yourself.

Things I would add:

14) Don't drink water from the tap. Bottled water is best.
15) Bring Immodium. Food is richer than in America.
16) Vegetables are tastier because they are organic
17) People in the FSU (generally) prefer sweet wines and desserts
18) Most Americans will lose weight while in FSU (lack of hormones in food and milk along with more walking/excersize)
19) If you're sensitive, bring your own toilet paper
20) Be prepared to drink vodka or homemade liquor as toasts during family dinners
21) Negotiate taxi fares and location before getting into a taxi
22) Wave your hand low to get a local driver as a taxi (cheaper.) Waving your hand high will attract the more expensive taxis.
23) Bread in the FSU (whether Ukrainian, Uzbek or any other) is fresh and tasty
24) Chicken Kiev (known as "Cutlet Kyiv") really was invented in St. Petersburg to satisfy the craving for French cuisine, but is sold in Kiev's supermarkets. It's tasty. Get some. (Thanks to Alton Brown and Food TV's "Good Eats" for that trivia!)
25) Beer (Piva) in the FSU is stronger (and tastier) than in the USA. Drink carefully.
26) Drinking beer in public is acceptable and often seen.
27) Public displays of affection in Ukraine is commonplace and acceptable.
28) Public displays of affection in Uzbekistan (largely Muslim country) is NOT acceptable and usually not tolerated.
29) Keep your passport (or better yet, a copy of your passport) with you always.
30) Ukraine and Russia have Bankomats (ATMs), so brining excess cash in local currency isn't necessary.
31) If you're certain that you'll marry the woman or man you're dating, go to an internet cafe to print the USCIS forms (or your country's immigration forms if available online) and complete them while you're there.
32) Take plenty of pictures of the both of you together
33) If you're from the US and want to use your cell phone, make sure it's an unlocked GSM phone.
34) Internet is available almost all places using a telephone line and pre-paid Internet Card.

Posted by: searcher

A revision:

1a) The distance will drive you crazy

Quote:

15) Bring Immodium. Food is richer than in America.

Fortunately, I didn't need it.... the food was more of what i'm accustomed to and I enjoyed it very much.

Quote:

17) People in the FSU (generally) prefer sweet wines and desserts

My preference too though I don't drink often. I prefer Muscat (Properly pronounced "Muscay")

Quote:

25) Beer (Piva) in the FSU is stronger (and tastier) than in the USA. Drink carefully.

Actually, the beer I tried (Siberian Crown) was very weak!

Posted by: wavetossed

Great list and great idea for organizing the advice

30) Ukraine and Russia have Bankomats (ATMs), so brining excess cash in local currency isn't necessary.

30a) Bankomats become scarcer in smaller cities/towns and may not be connected to international networks. Plan to take cash to cover the time you will spend in cities under 1 million population.

30b) Brand new crisp US dollar notes/bills in $5, $10, and $20 denominations are ideal. Many places will not accept worn notes/bills and denominations bigger than $20 may be refused due to the risk of forgery. Euro notes are acceptable in larger cities but less so in smaller ones. My bank in London England was able to supply me with brand new US dollar notes by ordering 1 day in advance.

33) If you're from the US and want to use your cell phone, make sure it's an unlocked GSM phone.

33a) If you're from England and want to use your mobile, make sure you tell your operator to enable roaming for Russia. If you don't want to pay the exorbitantly high roaming rates which will cause your account to be suspended until you pay more money, then buy a Russian SIM. If your phone is locked to your operator, get it unlocked before you leave home. Should only cost a tenner.

35) Learn the Cyrillic alphabet before you leave so that you can read street signs, metro station names, etc. It's pretty much phonetic and a very easy first step to learning the language.

36) Do try to experience life like the locals. Take a city bus, ride in a marshrutniy taxi, go on an intercity coach trip. Buy some food and a beer from a street kiosk and hang out on the street.

37) Don't carry your wallet in your hip pocket unless you have very high awareness of pickpocketing possibilities. Do divide your wallet contents into two, i.e. credit card in front trousers pocket and debit card in jacket breast pocket or body safe. Better safe than sorry. And the same advice applies if you visit London.

38) Don't point at people with your forefinger. Instead use a vague wave of the hand in the general direction.

39) In the Urals and Siberia, make sure that you try some pelmeni. Like giant tortelllini eaten dipped in sauces.

40) Take some audiobooks on CD to give to your girlfriend. Buy her a CD-MP3 player if she doesn't have one. This will help her learn English much better. And now you can record audio-letters and send them to her.

41) If she is not fluent in English, take her some paperback novels written for kids. Some for the 10-12 age group to get started and for older kids to continue the process. Only take books written by authours native to your country and only take stories that are set in your country. That way she learns the language and the culture simultaneously.

42) When you fall in love, let her know it. Flowery language is not necessary, just say Ya tebya lyublyu.

43) Learn the Russian system of naming. For instance a girl named Tatyana will insist that you call her Tanya when she considers you to be a friend. And if you love her, then you would normally call her Tanyochka and in more intimate moments you would call her Tanyushka. Once you have progressed beyond the Tatyana stage, you would call her Tan whenever you want to catch her attention.

44) In winter you always check your winter coat at the entrance to a restaurant/club/theatre/cinema. Be prepared in case you need to move wallets around.

Posted by: wavetossed

45) If you read only one book about Russia, make it "Russia and the Russians" by Geoffrey Hosking published in the USA by Belknap Press and in the UK by Penguin. This covers their history and culture from the earliest times to 2001.

Posted by: searcher

Quote:

Originally posted by wavetossed
30b) Brand new crisp US dollar notes/bills in $5, $10, and $20 denominations are ideal. Many places will not accept worn notes/bills and denominations bigger than $20 may be refused due to the risk of forgery. Euro notes are acceptable in larger cities but less so in smaller ones. My bank in London England was able to supply me with brand new US dollar notes by ordering 1 day in advance.

I had a different problem. No place would accept bills less than $100 and they wanted NEW $100 bills with the new security strip embedded in them. Some slightly older $100 the would sometimes reject but I eventually found places that would accept them.

I had many $20 bills but I could not use them!!!!

Posted by: rattlesnake6979

Searcher - wow , nothing less than $100 bills - that is alot to carry around . I was told always carry a few dollar notes - $5 or $1 notes just in case I needed to pay a local cop or traffic police man . Ukrainian police ... the best that money can buy !!!

Rattle

Posted by: Keystone

46) To be very patient

Keystone

Posted by: ConnerVT

Quote:

Originally posted by searcher
I had many $20 bills but I could not use them!!!!

Send them to me... I can put them to very good use!

Posted by: ConnerVT

Quote:

Originally posted by Keystone
46) To be very patient

We have a winner!! Give that man a cigar!

This is the #1 point to remember during all phases of this process, from when you first think about the possibility of marrying someone to each day of your marriage.

Let's repeat it again: We need to be very patient.

At every step of the way, patience is important: Looking for the right person; while the relationship progresses; during the paperwork phase; and especially once you are together in her new country.

I'll focus on the last, as that is the subject of this thread. Not only do you need to have patience dealing with each other as you learn to live together, but it is also needed as there are many things you both will wish to accomplish. Last I looked, a day only has 24 hours, regardless of which country you live. I needed to remind my wife that we could not do everything we plan to do at once. We needed to discuss and prioritize what needs to be done. And you will find that, at first, all things will take longer to accomplish. There are difficulties in communication, transportation, etc. that will need to be ironed out. It all can get frustrating at times (for both of you).

Trust me. We need to be very patient.