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Pushy?
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Posted by: Aaron Chase

Hi, it's been quite awhile since I posted here. I used to have a russian fiance, until I met somebody who told me they were talking to the same girl! Not only that, but there were just too many similarities between the both of our e-mails, that I just stopped writing her. I just sort of moved on, and forgot all about the commitment I could have made, or maybe not.

Then a month ago, I decided I was bored, and wanted to find a penpal. I found a russian woman with a different name, different city, but, I haven't really felt like commiting to anything, or anybody right now. Not for selfish reasons, but, I just don't feel ready for that right now. But this woman I was speaking to, just wasn't listening when I told her I wished just to "be friends". It was just like before, but then I started seeing some patterns.

My last fiance, talked about coming here, starting a family, and said alot of things that my last fiance had mentioned. To a T almost even! She asked about what kind of apartment I'd want, while she mentioned she wanted a aquarium with fishes and turtles or something. I told her I was starting to get upset about some things. I'd get responses from her asking me questions, but when I'd ask her a question, I'd get no response.

So then she tells me how much she loves me, and I just didn't feel the same. I told her this a few times, that I'm meeting girls in my area, I can't commit to anything, or anybody, and she tells me I don't really mean it, and that we deserve to be together. I finally just had to tell her to stop writing me, because I wanted a penpal this time, not a online romance, that may not work out.

I haven't heard from her in a few days, and I didn't mean to be rude or mean, but I just wasn't getting through with her, so I didn't know how else to end things. I'd still talk to her, if she'd just slow things down, not try to rush me into something I don't feel, and have other things to talk about. But it seems she doesn't. Has anybody else had a bad feeling in your gut, and had to break things off with a russian girl that was just being....Pushy?That you weren't ever sure was being real with you???

Posted by: spamer

Sometimes somebody needs to be the adult in a relationship.

Did I ever feel bad about ending a relationship that had no future. With a person I didn't really like nor wanted to meet and was tired of their actions. NO!

Think about it, could you love a person you never met in person? (Your last G/F... you never said if you met her or not.) Asking for a penpal that could grow in to a relationship is a great thing. Getting a relationship that starts from the 1st email sends me running.

Posted by: rattlesnake6979

Yes , I received an e mail from a lady who I was initially interested in and she was honest in saying that she had a son - so I decided to phone her after the 3rd e mail to see if I could both speak to her and see whether she knew who I was ( some women write to more than one man , just as some men write to more than one woman- my naiverty knew no bounds ). Anyhow her first words were " ...Could You send me some money " I was half shocked , half angry that these were her initial reactions - needless to say the pen pal correspondance died just at that precise moment.
Later ,I was contacted by another lady - I dont know if its just me or if I have a knack for this .. but again the first e mails were full of words like love - we had never met so I wondered what her reation would be if I phoned - well on the phone she sounded like she wanted to be my lover without ever having met me - this sent alarm bells off because not being on a scale 10 or even a scale 8 on the male handsome/ Brad Pitt league of sexy men I knew something was wrong - I never phoned her again and I never wrote to her after this telephone call because I did not want to fall in love with her and be devastated by the realisation that it was all one sided .

The fact is for me , I want just a normal relationship with a woman where we both get to know each other over a length of time - it has the opposite effect on me if the relationship seems forced or pressurised- I cannot cope with this and I want to run if there is pressure to marry after a couple of e mails and without having met . Maybe the reason the the lady sent this e mail to me was because she found me attractive - who knows ? But I was certainly not reactiing like I was ready and in the end it is my reaction to the letter/ e mail which is the most important issue.

rattle