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My travel (Russian woman has bad experience with several Western men who visited her)
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Posted by: Clarita

Absolutelly wrong comment about my post was made in the header.

I think it is 2 different situation when someone visited me and when I visit someone.

Posted by: ulughbek

Sorry to hear about your bad luck.

I am wondering if you've learned anything about how to detect such men from early correspondence and phone contact. Or are they just deceptive in that phase?

I know of one case (a friend of my fiancee's) where the man was just too unattractive for her. She wasn't expecting too much - he had sent photos - but in person she could not take any interest in him, even though she was hoping for it to work out.

As part of a couple that did not meet on the internet, I don't have much advice on how to meet guys, unfortunately.

Posted by: zulu

I was sad to hear your story. I do not know the details of your correspondence with the men that you have been corresponding with, but I would like to think that it should be possible to determine the character of a person after some patient correspondence (unless ofcourse he is a very good liar), maybe you can convince Khashyar to do background checks on men, that is of course if it's legally possible.

As for chemistry I can not think of any way other than meeting.

Please do not lose hope, I think you must have seen that there are many fine men here who have successfully found themselves someone, and from reading the posts here I am sure you will agree that there seem to be many serious single men still looking.

Please feel free to PM me if you want to discuss this in detail

Posted by: rtking

I'm sorry to hear that your meeting was unsuccessful and disappointing, Clarita.

Please do not lose hope... there are very good men out there. Not all of us fall into the categories you've experienced. Some of us are too busy or too shy (or both) to really meet women in our countries.

I think it's important to rest for a few weeks and think about why these men are writing to you and what you can do to determine if they are kind, genuine men or not. I know it can be difficult and some men can be very deceptive, but I think you have enough experience now to be more careful about who you meet.

Again, I'm sorry to hear of this unsuccessful meeting. But I hope you'll continue... and I'm sure that, in time, you'll find the right man.

Bob

Posted by: Pin Boy

sorry to hear of your bad experience clarita...maybe you can meet a good man (like me) through this website

...tell some more about yourself and I could do the same if you feel ready to get to know someone at this time

Pin Boy

Posted by: Andy

Clarita, I am sorry to hear of your bad fortune. It is interesting to read the views of a Russian woman; this board is full of western men. Please continue to add your thoughts.
And please don't judge all WM seeking RW by the bad ones that you've come across. (It would be like a WM thinking that all RW are scammers). You are in Western Europe now, no?
Perhaps you can save the trip by meeting a nice western man?

I imagine your experiences illustrate why so many RW give up on finding a good western man.

Posted by: Jill

I'm sorry to hear about your experience. But I am curious, after having such bad experiences, why are you continuing your search for a WM? Or do you currently live in the west yourself?

Posted by: Lola

Quote:

Originally posted by Clarita
Hi all,

I am back from my trip. If remember, I asked some advices in the spring, I have had a lot of doubts about to go-not to go. But I decided at last to go and visit that man. What can I say? He has NO CHANCE to get woman from his own country to live with. Absolutelly. I even planed to take my bag and go to other town where I have good friends to spend the rest of time until day when I go back home or even change my ticket and go back home directly.

This was one more confirmation that only men with lot of problems look especially for russian, asian or other brides from "3th world" countries...

During my searches (last 3 years) I have met 6 men:
from them:
2 clinical psycopats
1 patological lier
1 just has lot of family problems (5 kids different ages)
1 absolute looser (no profession, no money even for food)
and only ONE man was so-so normal, but I have met him from my friend, not in internet, but there are no chemistry and we are very good friends.

Where go good real guys for single woman???

Oh, please Clarita, tell your story on western men black list forum
http://antidate.fastbb.ru
I suppose it will be very interesting and useful for russian women

Posted by: Clarita

Hi,

I am not sure that this story is about men-scam, I will read your site, Lola anyway. It is just that not all that bright is a gold...

Yes, men can be very ingenius when they want to catch some woman, the truth can be seen only later, sometimes very late...

Jill, I am 38 years old, in my age it is nearly impossible to find free and good man in Russia.

I hope I can meet good man (may be wrong ones are finished on my way, LOL), may be on this site, who knows?

Posted by: Jill

Quote:

I am 38 years old, in my age it is nearly impossible to find free and good man in Russia.

Unfortunately, given your recent experiences, it seems difficult to find a free and good man anywhere

But I was just curious if you are looking for a nice man in general, or if you were looking specifically in the west. And if so, why.

Well, I am an optimist and I believe that there is a wonderful, caring man waiting for you somewhere. I know that it's a cliche, but it really does happen when and where you least expect it (this is scientifically proven

). Have you posted your profile on this site? I know there are sometimes single men on this forum interested in relationships.

Good luck to you!

Posted by: Clarita

Jill, I see that you are in Ukraine? Look around you , how many single men will you see? I dont mind to meet russian man, but demografical situatuation here is that we have 1 man for 10 women. Many friends of mine, of same age or even younger are singles and cannot find man, some of them have lovers who are married (!). It is very typical for our men - if you not have young pretty girl for sex , you are not real "macho". My sister is married with a gut that I would never live together (he is something like the man I have told about). I want to have a family, where we both will respect eachother without screaming and faigting.

Posted by: Skooter

Clarita

Try to keep faith, I think there is a degree of luck involved, but maybe you need to look for the signs.

My own experience was that the first lady I went to see in Ukraine had been looking for a couple of years ( very attractive ) but in retrospect I can see why she will maybe not find what she is looking for.

I was still new to the game but made an immediate second trip and met Russian lady who had only just posted her profile, 9 months later we still can't get over the shock of meeting and finding so much in each other that we searched, we will marry in the winter.

What I am saying is, sure there are alot of losers and scammers involved on both sides, just you need to use your methods of detection to filter out the ones that are not going to suitable for you.

But if you are a good person, there is someone out there waiting for you.

Best of luck

Posted by: Pin Boy

Hi Clarita,

Don't forget about Pin Boy (that's me). Seriously, I feel for you and your situation. I think Jill has a good idea about maybe posting your profile on this reputable site. I think I am close to being ready myself to the possibility of looking at the personal section of this forum because I have had time to resolve my experience with a Ukranian woman I was involved with and also because I have faith in Kashyar and Lena's competence and sincerity.

Pin Boy

Posted by: Clarita

Hi Pin Boy,

I can believe that you have bad experience in Ukraina. You can write me if you need to talk with someone in meantime.

Posted by: Clarita

To moderators: Can you change the header of the post, please?The header is absolutelly wrong. You did it look like ALL MEN WHO VISITED POOR RUSSIAN WOMAN WAS BAD. I dont want to be example of unhappy russian woman hunting for western men. I only thought, if I asked advice on this forum before, it will be good to write report what happened in real life.

Comment: I spend lot of time in internet last years and, of course, meet different people, mostly, men (LOL). Some of them want to meet.
Some men I invited to visit me, some of them I visited in their country. BUT I NEVER USED ANY MARRIAGE AGENCY in intentions to find EXACTLY FOREIGN HUSBAND. And never will do it (I hope so).

All I have found here - is that if a man want to find exactly RUSSIAN or other FOREIGN woman, the best woman can do is run away from him as fast as she can. The men who did'nt looked for foreign brides, was more or less normal (from these that I meet).

In last case I did expected something like that and I did know what I do, what can happen and what I will do in the worse case. But I think, everyone has right to a chance.

Posted by: Pin Boy

Hi Clarita,

Your experience sounds sad but interesting that you have been able to travel and host visitors. There are many sympathetic and kind listeners on this forum (Jill always impresses me with her deep thoughts and helpfulness). I can send you a private message through this forum and can tell you about my experience.

Pin Boy

Posted by: mria

Quote:

Originally posted by Clarita
[B]To moderators: Can you change the header of the post, please?The header is absolutelly wrong. You did it look like ALL MEN WHO VISITED POOR RUSSIAN WOMAN WAS BAD. I dont want to be example of unhappy russian woman hunting for western men. I only thought, if I asked advice on this forum before, it will be good to write report what happened in real life.

THats true. The title has been changed to make it sound that there was NO WAY the men were to blame, otherwise why would it have happened more than once to the same woman. The header should be changed back to what it originally was, otherwise the forum becomes biased.

Posted by: Clarita

Yes, and, more, if some man is bad for me, he can be good enough for other woman with less selectivity or expectations...

Western men say that moscow girls are too spoiled, like western women are, and if you want to find real "genuin russian" woman you have to go to deep Siberia or Ukraine.

Posted by: PrincetonLion

Quote:

Originally posted by Clarita
I dont mind to meet russian man, but demografical situatuation here is that we have 1 man for 10 women.

Hmmm... Very interesting... You live in Moscow, as well as I lived for 35 years... And I can tell that the situation there is quite opposite: we have 1 woman per 10 men!

We have tons of unmarried lonely men, but we have NONE of unmarried women older than 25! Moreover, in Russia I NEVER met a woman who did not have a man!

Contrary to a popular myth, Russia is a country of lonely men...

Posted by: Khashyar

Hi Clarita...

I and others appreciate that you shared your experience. It helps everyone learn and become wiser.

I'm sorry if I changed the thread title in a way that did not convey the meaning of what you intended... I based it on what you had written in your message about having met some men and feeling disappointed at your experience in meeting them.

What do you think would be a more accurate subtitle for your thread?

(I try to make the thread titles as specific as possible so that people can find messages based upon the title, and also so that the search engines can catalogue our messages correctly....)

Thank you for having posted your experience...

Khashyar

Posted by: Khashyar

Quote:

Originally posted by mria
THats true. The title has been changed to make it sound that there was NO WAY the men were to blame, otherwise why would it have happened more than once to the same woman. The header should be changed back to what it originally was, otherwise the forum becomes biased.

Hi mria...

Do you really think that the thread title makes it sound like the woman is at fault?

"Bad experience" means "disappointing experience" in this context...

I think that the title reads in a pretty nuetral way...

Khashyar

Posted by: Khashyar

Hi Clarita...

Perhaps I did not understand your situation clearly...

Where did you meet the Western men who you felt disappointed with? In Russia?

Because you did not mention this in your thread, I was assuming that you lived in Russia (since your profile says "Moscow") and the men travelled to meet you...

If you met the men in your regular daily life in Moscow, then I can certainly change the thread title to accurately reflect that.

Khashyar

Posted by: mria

Quote:

Originally posted by Khashyar
Hi mria...

Do you really think that the thread title makes it sound like the woman is at fault?

"Bad experience" means "disappointing experience" in this context...

I think that the title reads in a pretty nuetral way...

Khashyar

I know Khashyar, it doesn't really show that the woman is at fault. And it is actually a neutral title.
But I felt that the original topic and thread wasn't very neutral.
It seemed that Clarita was telling her thoughts not in a neutral way, but in a way that reflected what she had seen, and the new title felt like an antidote to her experiences. It did seem to "neutralise" them.

Posted by: Clarita

Quote:

Originally posted by Khashyar
Hi Clarita...

Perhaps I did not understand your situation clearly...

Where did you meet the Western men who you felt disappointed with? In Russia?

Because you did not mention this in your thread, I was assuming that you lived in Russia (since your profile says "Moscow") and the men travelled to meet you...

If you met the men in your regular daily life in Moscow, then I can certainly change the thread title to accurately reflect that.

Khashyar

Hi Khashyar,

I named my topic "My travel", because in April or May here we discussed about my planed travel, and I thought that I need to report about how it was when I will be back. So, it is just about my travel, no complaints, I only was in emotions and added some extra info there.

I cannot say that it was "so terrible experience". I am just have very high expectations. And some men that dont fit my standarts are happily (or, not happily, who knows?) lives with other, less selective women, or women who is more interested in immigration then me.

I live in Moscow, yes, but during my years using internet I have met some men online (not through marriage agencies). It was meeting on icq, some communities, chats and so on. Some local or international general dating (I even dont mind to chat with girls but it is not easy to find straight-sexual oriented girl who want to talk with other girls, LOL).

And I noticed that MEN ESPECIALLY LOOKING FOR RUSSIAN, ASIAN OR OTHER FOREIGN WOMEN and men, looking just woman from any place without geografical or national preference are very different. Most part of men who want to find "russian" bride (it is more close to here use "russian" nationality here), is men with very big problems. And if a man start talk with sentence: Oh, russian women are not like our local women, they are so....(insert compliments yourself), then is better to avoid him.

But on same time I have met many good guys, who are very good friends of me, but they are not fixed on the fact that I am russian.

May be I needed to open other, new topic about this teory and here just shortly say how I did my travel, that I am back, that I am live but not in love.

Posted by: Clarita

Quote:

Originally posted by PrincetonLion
Hmmm... Very interesting... You live in Moscow, as well as I lived for 35 years... And I can tell that the situation there is quite opposite: we have 1 woman per 10 men!
We have tons of unmarried lonely men, but we have NONE of unmarried women older than 25! Moreover, in Russia I NEVER met a woman who did not have a man! Contrary to a popular myth, Russia is a country of lonely men...

Honey, is there any forum where you not complain on russian women? LOL

You might be working in men's sector, and I work all my life in women's world. Come back to Moscow, here you will find hundreds of hungry women any age!

Posted by: Khashyar

Hi mria...

Thanks for your message.

The original title was "My Travel," and I thought that I would make the title more specifically reflect what Clarita was discussing in her thread...

Thanks for your thoughts too, Clarita...

Yes, I understand your circumstances, and I think that it is very valuable that you share with others here your experience as a woman who is meeting men...

I think that you can provide very valuable insight into what the situation for a woman in Russia is, how she feels about relationships, etc...

I appreciate your contribution.

Yes, perhaps it would have been more clear to create two different threads, one about travel and one about your thoughts about dating...

But, I think that the thread is a very interesting one with some useful discussions, so... I think that it is fine the way it is...

Perhaps we can keep this thread as a topic about a Russian woman's perspective about dating, and then you can create a seperate thread in the travel section about your traveling experience.

Khashyar

Posted by: Clarita

Hi Khashyar,
yes, that will be perfect. I will open some new dicussions as soon as I find some more free minutes.

Posted by: PrincetonLion

Quote:

Originally posted by Clarita
Honey, is there any forum where you not complain on russian women? Come back to Moscow, here you will find hundreds of hungry women any age!

�� , �� 25... This is really funny that women complain about lack of men, and men - about lack of women!

But seriously, I did not see ANY unmarried woman in Moscow older than 25... And there is a terrible competition for any so-so good looking young woman...

Posted by: moosehead

Clarita
Im sorry to hear about your bad encounter. Did the guy grossly misrepresent himself? A lot of guys and girls do that. I have met some local women from Yahoo. I have been burned many times. I don't know why people can't just tell the truth. When I put a picture in Yahoo, I posted the worst pic I could find. That way, the woman is not disappointed when she meets me. Guys and girls...American and Russian, are really good at making themselves seem better. Its a damn shame. Its not about how many hits you receive, its the hits that actually like you for what you are. Personality is a pain. The hardest part is judging someones personality through an email. I hope your find your true love.

Posted by: neil277

Hello Panel,

When you meet someone for the first time you have to keep open mind and this is what Internet dating is about.

Yes you may meet someone who you are not attractive to in first meeting but PLEASE don't run away, talking with someone is very nice and you may find this persons personality will be the best and intime this person may become your wife/husband.

When a person takes time to travel and meet you, at least give 110% in the relationship.

I would say if this person did not like you pick yourself up and brush yourself down and move on, you are worth more than this person in life.

Regards

Neil

Posted by: Nevsky21

Clarita,

Zabud pra etih lohov amerikosov. Smotri ya znau tut mnogo takih uzhasnih slushyaev. Amerikosi dumaet pra ruskih zhenshin shto oni horoshie dom rabotnitsi. Oni ploho k nim otnosyatsa i eto ya gavaru ne pra odin sluchey a pra desyatki. Oni suda preezhaut a potom razvodyatsa i na volu sudbi v etoy ebanoy stranoy. Ya ****au tebe nado prodolzhat iskat kovoto v Rossii na huy nam eti amerikosi.

Vsevo tebe luchshevo Nevsky

Posted by: Jill

Quote:

etoy ebanoy stranoy. Ya ****au tebe nado prodolzhat iskat kovoto v Rossii na huy nam eti amerikosi.

Once again I can only wonder: Nevsky, if you dislike America and Americans so much, why do you live there??????

Posted by: Nevsky21

Jill ti cho suka mne vse vremya parish. Kakoy ti natsionalnosti? Ti chernozhpaya kavkazka? ili eshe shto huzhe. Ya tebe uzhe skazal ya uchus v amerike v aspiranture. Potomushto moya strana zaebanaya zapadom, ugom, i vostokom.

Posted by: inlove

Za svoi den'gi uchishsja? Vot to-to. Skazhi spasibo Amerike za to chto obrazovyvaet tebja, idiota..

Posted by: Pin Boy

love to hear his garbage in english...well on second thought, it's better that i don't...post in russian on the russian section please

Posted by: Nevsky21

hey suka involve. Da uchus za svoi dengi pizdets. A ti zhid kakoy priehal iz rossii? Bolshenstvo ludei iz Rossii zdes zhidi. A Ruskie zdes nenavidyat amerikosov dosihpor. Pried k nam v Moskvu i skinhedi tebya suku bistro nauchat hait nashih ludei.

Posted by: inlove

Aga, konechno za svoi..

Uchish'sja, tak i uchis'. Uma nabirajsja, idiot. Kak nabereshsja, togda i prihodi v normal'noe obxhestvo razgovarivat'. A poka vali ka osjuda, gadenysh..

Posted by: inlove

Quote:

Originally posted by Pin Boy
love to hear his garbage in english...well on second thought, it's better that i don't...post in russian on the russian section please

He is a nazi, Pin Boy, you don't want to hear the garbage he is saying. I promise, I'm not going to talk in Russian to him anymore..

Posted by: Pin Boy

thanks in love, you're right, i certainly have no interest in his nonsense

by the way, saw your pics and they're great!!

pin boy

Posted by: Khashyar

Yea... this is not a forum to go into any kind of hateful discussions that don't serve any purpose....

If anyone wants to talk seriously and thougtfully about Racism and skinheads in Russia, then I opened a seperate thread to do that so that we can gain some more understanding about that topic...

Khashyar

Posted by: inlove

Quote:

Originally posted by Pin Boy
by the way, saw your pics and they're great!!

pin boy

thanks Pin boy.

I got into a picture posting mood, and uploaded a few more with the Honey.

go check it out.

Posted by: Nevsky21

you still didnt answer my question are you a jew?

Posted by: Khashyar

Nevsky,

It doesn't matter if he is Jewish or not.

That's not an important point of discussion, and it wouldn't matter if he is Jewish, Buddhist, a Hindi, Orthodox Christian, or any other religion.

Especially if that going in that direction is going to cause an ugly conflict.

Khashyar

Posted by: Jill

Quote:

Jill ti cho suka mne vse vremya parish. Kakoy ti natsionalnosti? Ti chernozhpaya kavkazka?

Net, ya ne kavkazka i vsyo v poryadke s moei zhopoi

I napomni mne--kakaya u tebya spetsialnost tam v aspiranture? Prosto interesno....

Posted by: Khashyar

Nevsky,

I am sure that you can express your thoughts intelligently, especially in Russian, without cussing and being rude in Russian.

I am sure that you don't want to fuel negative stereotypes about Russian people that some Americans have.

According to the forum guidelines, you are welcome to enjoy and participate in the discussions here, but there is no cussing or disrepecting others... That doesn't serve anyone's positive interest.

If you want to contribute your thoughts and ideas, than that is great... But the guidelines don't allow name-calling or cussing.

Thanks,

Khashyar

Posted by: Pin Boy

people who cuss often do so because they have a limited vocabulary

pb

Posted by: tracy

Clarita I think you are right that there are a lot of lossers looking for Russian Women for all the wrong reasons. There is also a lot of good men or at least a few good men. Remember it only takes one good one to change both your lives forever.

My Russian wife Ellinna had similar problems, they were to old or weird, so on. She looked for close to 2 years and had no responces from dating agencies. A few ads in foreign newspapers and she had 50 replies. Most were lossers and deserved no woman and no woman deseved them. Maybe 3 were ok and one of them was me. Now 3 years later were are very happy with each other I'm average normal Canadian male and she is average normal Russian female we both appreciate and love each other its great .

My suggestion Try foreign newspaper ads in Canada, US, so on maybe you shake a good coconut or two from the tree. If they seem like a losser then they probbly are. When you start corresponding be very direct with what type of man you are looking for but don't scare them off by making it sound like you are looking for perfection. Also tell them about yourself and be brutally honest good points and bad.

I lived in Russia for 6 months and can understand the RW position. All good men married, the rest are drunks and lazy lossers. Demographics (more women than men) allow men to treat women very poorly. I know there are good Canadian men looking for Good women if they happen to be Russian thats ok.

best of luck in your search

Posted by: PrincetonLion

Quote:

Originally posted by inlove
He is a nazi, Pin Boy, you don't want to hear the garbage he is saying.

Oh, he is not a Nazi, he is hust pranking kid! Do not take him seriously please...

Posted by: PrincetonLion

Quote:

Originally posted by tracy

I lived in Russia for 6 months and can understand the RW position. All good men married, the rest are drunks and lazy lossers.

Hmmm, I lived in Russia 35 years, and my observation is quite opposite: all good women are married, and the rest are - er - looking for American husbands...

Posted by: Jill

Yeah, I have to admit I've never really understood that whole "all RM are either married or drunk losers" thing. I dated in Russia/Ukraine for several years and went out with some really great (single, sober, hardworking, kind) guys. One of whom I eventually married myself

And actually, this attitude it common among women in many countries: I know many AW who say the exact same thing about AM. I think in BOTH cases it needs to be taken with a grain of salt.

(At least this is true in the 20's-30's age group; I agree that over 40 or so it does get quite a bit harder--but this is true in both the US and Russia).

Posted by: Bowl4Me

Hi everyone.

Is it true that women think that western men looking for Russian women or women from �3rd world countries are losers or must have problems?

I ask this, because if this is true, then maybe I should take my profile down from this website. I don�t consider myself a loser and I don�t have any major problems. I don�t claim to be perfect either. I have my faults just like everyone else. One way to show you is maybe show you what I do for a living. I have an interesting job maintaining a satellite. In fact you can go to this website, http://sohowww.nascom.nasa.gov , select the �contact and info� link, then the �FOT telephone and email address� link and you will find my work number and work email address there. My name is Steve. There�s only one Steve on the list there. That�s just one way. There are more I can write about, but I won�t unless you ask.

Anyway, getting back to my concern, I was thinking about emailing a woman who has a profile on this website, but now I hesitate to, because I don�t want her thinking that I am a loser or I must have problems. Strange, I came to the forum to get another question answered. I stumbled upon Clarita�s post, and started reading from there. Since reading her post, the responses, and writing this post, I discovered the answer to my original question.

Thanks,

Steven

"Forever Pointing Towards the Sun"

Posted by: searcher

Hi Steven,

I don't at all believe that Russian/Ukrianian/etc women think men are losers but they are well aware that there are losers out there and many of them will receive letters and emails from these men as well.

Their trust has to be earned and the demand respect. It is a reciprocal question because if you think men looking for foreign women are losers then what are women looking for foreign men?????

They are not losers nor do they think of themselves as losers. They simply wish to broaden their choices BUT because there are some losers, sex tourist, green card seekers, etc out there we all must be careful.

It is equally risky for both men and women.

Posted by: BradIL

Quote:

Originally posted by Nevsky21: hey suka involve. Da uchus za svoi dengi pizdets.

You don't need to be tossing that word around.

Posted by: Bowl4Me

Thank you Searcher.

I appreciate you taking the time to respond.

Steven

"Forever Pointing Towards the Sun"

Posted by: pankajmadhav

Dear Clarita,
I am pankaj, an Indian. By sitting thousand of miles away from you. I cannot virtually share the woes you felt but I can try to give some plausible logics, which might help you to understand the physiology of a man or his behavior.
Dear, see this is an age-old maxim that we never love anybody, never, we always love our desire be it damn form like an insipid wife or a coquettish bride. We never try to satiate our quench of lust. And this is only the main cause. Being a man this is my personal conjecture that more then 60% cases men wants a different kind of woman (different language, religion, color, country). Not because that he loves that kind of person but he wants to satiate his unfulfilled desire be it sex or wealth.
If somebody heart you or try to take your possession that it does not mean that you have lost something or everything but the most painful spot of this process lingers in your mind and soul for ages.
Men always try to have a cut above the rest and when it comes to women then he wants to have as more as he can. I have seen so many cases with my naked eyes that people play a good man and play possum with the gullible females. I cannot understand their logics but understand that �every women of the world is same when candles are off.
Anyway the inner crux of the matter is we need to open our eyes before it winks. I must say that this is not the end of road and you will get a light of hope once again in tunnel of dark.
With love and affection
Pankaj

Posted by: pankajmadhav

Posted by: EricW34

This has been a very interesting read. I can relate to the plight of the lady, Clarita, that started this topic of conversation. I've never used the internet as a place to meet people but it has happened.
From travelling all over the planet I have met both great...and...not so great people.

So I can and never would single out a specific nationality and disregard or despise them because of their origin. Of course there are cultural differences but women in Russia are from another country NOT another planet. The same is true of Australians, Canadians, Americans etc.
I had a pen pal from Brasov, Romania from my youth, well....actually from the age of 16. For many years her and I corrosponded via hand written letters and phone calls. Since 1996 (approximately) we started using email and eventually communicated with chat programs. In 2001 I visited her and her family. It was a great adventure and I learned alot from this encounter. In 2003 I visited them again. I really do love this lady and wanted so much for her to come visit me and my family. After contacting the consular office and speaking to other people I have learned that it is next to impossible for a single woman living in Romania to come to the US on a visitors visa. I understand the same is true for Russia and many other European countries.
I really am not good at giving advice because we are all unique and think and react differently. (That's actually a beautiful thing in my opinion

)
Recently it has became evident that scam and con artists are very popular in Russia and other European countries. I am also sure there are many scam artists of both sexes in the US, AUS and Canada as well. So, please, use your brains and think. I know sometimes emotions can ....how shall I say....get in the way!

But please use reasoning because I would hate to see you become devestated emotionally becasue of a bad decision or a vicious individual regardless of what country they originate from.
If anyone ever wishes to talk to me, please feel free to do so. Thank you for your time and have fun!
Eric

Posted by: searcher

Thanks Eric,

Interesting that you have know your lady for so many years. I think it is even better that you have had maybe 10+ years to get to know her, originally as a friendship and eventually it becoming more....

I think it also helps to dispel certain myths too because she was not someone who was simply rushing you so no one could accuse her of being a green card seeker

I think the same rules apply to most former com-block/east-bloc countries. It would be nice if there were a way for her to come to visit you. I would still have her try for a tourist visa, in the worse case they can only say no and it wouldn't hurt in anyway should you decide to file for another type of visa later.

If my K-1 wasn't being processed, me and my fiance considered filing for a tourist visa just so she could visit because we would like to see each other, she would go back home of course to comply with the laws, etc but it would be nice for her to see my home and meet my family. She has also offered to help me organize my home and help with some things here because of some difficulties she knows i'm having at the moment

I still think its worth a try as I have been hearing lately quite a few stories about women being given tourist visas, so who knows and how could it hurt?

Posted by: Jill

OFF TOPIC (my apologies)

Quote:

I had a pen pal from Brasov, Romania

Brasov is beautiful! You picked a good place to have a penpal

Posted by: EricW34

Thank you both for taking the time to respond.
Yes, we have talked many times about applying for a tourist visa to come to the US. She insists that she will be turned down.
The past 18 months I have spoken many times to Claudia about possibly obtaining a K-1 visa. my idea was that it would give her the chance to come here and see if she likes it. if she does not, then she can always return home. I beleive there is a 90 day period upon arrival with a k-1 visa before a marriage needs to take place. Of course she has also suggested that I re-locate and live in Romania. Regardless, I am sure if we both want this to happen and we work together on achieving it, we will do just fine.
Yes, Brasov was a nice place. Very medieval like and becasue of my love of history I immediately found it interesting!
Take care please.
Eric

Posted by: eastbaySF

I have had a few Russian women tell me that russian men are spoiled because of the 1 to 10 odds and i have had some russian men that were very disapointed in me sending the young girls away and this made them question how macho i was.
But i proved to them i was just as macho if not more than them and i did not have to do the secret that is not a secret and have the young girl on the side.
You are very true and correct in what you are saying.

Posted by: aceace

I just read this whole thread. I must say very interesting. It is my understanding that the reasons so many RW seek a husband outside of Russia is due to imbalance of women to men. Something like 90 million women in Russia compared to just 70 million men. I was also told, that many of the men there have drinking problems. Please correct me if I am wrong. I must admit that once I discovered the Russian dating/marriage sites I became addicted to looking at all the beautiful women there. I would love to meet a Russian woman someday and bring her to America. Western women just don't appeal to me anymore, the feminine women here seem to disappear more each day.

Posted by: deccie

"Don't believe the hype"

The reasons why any single woman will chose a partner will be many and varied. I would strongly advise AGAINST going into this with any degree of a "rescuing" or "facilitating" mentality.

Posted by: bingism

Quote:

Originally Posted by deccie

"Don't believe the hype"

The reasons why any single woman will chose a partner will be many and varied. I would strongly advise AGAINST going into this with any degree of a "rescuing" or "facilitating" mentality.

Very VERY true - it doesn't work!!

With regards the reports on Russian men having problems, it's as varied as the number of words for "snow" in the native Eskimo language (Inuit?). Some good, some bad.... just like UK or US really!

Posted by: Volga Trader

Quote:

Originally Posted by aceace

I just read this whole thread. I must say very interesting. It is my understanding that the reasons so many RW seek a husband outside of Russia is due to imbalance of women to men. Something like 90 million women in Russia compared to just 70 million men. I was also told, that many of the men there have drinking problems. Please correct me if I am wrong. I must admit that once I discovered the Russian dating/marriage sites I became addicted to looking at all the beautiful women there. I would love to meet a Russian woman someday and bring her to America. Western women just don't appeal to me anymore, the feminine women here seem to disappear more each day.

The surplus Russian Women are over 60 or live on remote rural Kolkhoz's. The men I know are decent and hard working. There are drunks on the streets. Well, look at the beggars in San Francisco or Chicago or Washington some day. Again the males who get drunk and violent are mostly out in the countryside. Th emiddle class women on the dating sites are looking for a better deal but it doesn't mean they have no choice in Russia.

Posted by: Raspberry

Alcoholism is part of the deal, but not the only issue. You do have many men that have a short life expectancy due to their occupations. In some jobs, there the fact that your around hazardous materials all the time. If you've ever been to Mariupol(or any industrial town) as a visitor, you will get the idea.

Since there is a lot of metals processing, you have felt the effects of the pollution. So, you can imagine how it us working around "hazmat" all day.
Combine this with heavy drinking, and especially heavy smoking, the effect is much stronger.

Besides the life expectancy issue, there is also the fact the men's reproductive systems don't function either. Many of these women are unable to get pregnant, as a result.

Posted by: SCOTTUSA

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raspberry

Alcoholism ....

Since there is a lot of metals processing, ....

Besides the life expectancy issue, there is also the fact the men's reproductive systems don't function either. Many of these women are unable to get pregnant, as a result.

Hey Rasp.. or Anyone- The men's reproductive systems don't function???

This is a new one for me. I've been reading RMP for over 2 years. Does anyone have any new's articles to back this up?

Rasp... are you saying alcoholism/pollution (toxic metals) are cause(s) of men's fertility problems???