Funeral/Sympathy? - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

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Funeral/Sympathy?
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Posted by: postcaptain

What is appropriate to send on the occasion of the death of a close relative, e.g. grandmother?

Posted by: Jill

You don't really need to send anything. Maybe a sympathy card.

There's no reason to send flowers--generally you bring flowers if you are actually attending the funeral.

I'd go with a well thought out card.

Posted by: Khashyar

I know that most Russian families are close and are closely involved in supporting one another.

So, however you can express that support I'm sure will be appreciated.

I am not sure of the specific Russian customs regards to death and grieving, but I think that if you can make a phone call and/or send a card, then that would be appreciated.

I know that when Lena's great grandfather died, Lena's family was on the phone with one another a great deal, comforting one another and just staying in close supportive contact.

I don't recall anyone sending flowers, but there were a lot of phone calls. (Since making long distance telephone calls in generally expensive for the average Russian, I think that it is appreciated and considered an expression of caring).

Khashyar

Posted by: postcaptain

Thanks Jill and Khashyar. I actually wired some money and it was well-received. Evidently, there are 6 children, 18 grandchildren, 31 great-grand children and 3 great-great-grand children! They're expecting 100 people at the funeral!

Posted by: Khashyar

Wow... a big funeral for American standards, but I would expect that kind of turn out for a Russian funeral.

That's good that the money that you sent was well-received, and this should help them pay for the funeral costs.

I think that Russians might expect that Westerners are able to show their support by sending money, so it sounds like you made a good choice and that your contribution was appreciated.

Thanks for sharing your experience with this.

Khashyar

Posted by: Jill

Oh, I forget to mention--remember that in Russian culture 9 days and 40 days after a person's death are very important dates. I forget the exact religious explanation--I think it has something to do with the time when the soul goes to heaven. But anyway, these are important dates to remember the deceased.

Posted by: postcaptain

Thanks Jill. I know there was something held on the 9th day. I'll start counting for the 40th!