The Diary of a Cat and a Dog - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

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The Diary of a Cat and a Dog
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Posted by: Big wheel

DOG DIARY

7:00 AM - Outside! My favorite thing!
8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
2:00 PM - Looked out the window and barked! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
4:00 PM - Chased a bird out of the tree! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 PM - Watched my people eat! My favorite thing!
6:00 PM - Table scraps! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog continues to receive special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

Posted by: blucatz

Sounds like your typical cat to me....LOL

Posted by: matt235

Man, that was funny. I can so see both the cat and dog thinking this way!!

Posted by: blucatz

The do think that way

Posted by: Big wheel

Its so true I just had to post it.

A good friend of mine as a dog that is dumber than a box of rocks and a cat that will torment any dog on the block and walk like he owns the place. This cat as to weigh about 15lbs and he would make some dogs (big dogs) go running.

Posted by: blucatz

The last cat I had used to weigh 22lbs and he did rule over the black lab and dalmation in the house. If Max was sitting in the hallway, the dogs would not even go down the hall, funny thing is, Max had no claws....LOL

Posted by: Chrismc

Fantastic, I love it

and so true.