My Diary: Meeting Tamila's mother - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

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My Diary: Meeting Tamila's mother
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Posted by: Aaron2

As some of you know, I just got back from my first trip to Ukraine, where I went to visit my friend Tamila. I kept a little e-mail diary while I was there. Here's my entry from last Friday, describing my trip to meet her mother, and attending her cousin's graduation ceremony:

Our trip began with a three-hour bus ride. The bus was one of those small, 20-passenger jobs, with big huge windows all around -- perfect for letting the summer sun shine in and turning the vehicle into an oven on wheels. Though it wasn't hot (maybe 80 degrees), the humidity was oppressive. We got on the bus, and the aroma of B.O. was positively overpowering. Then, as this rickety, bumpy, smelly bus rumbled onto the road, it quickly became apparent that the A/C didn't work, or there wasn't any. Oddly, no one thought it wise to open a window, either. People in this country have no sense of temperature in indoor spaces, I'm convinced of it. (Tamila told me later that the reason the windows weren't opened is because children can get sick that way. I've read that Russians and Ukrainians have some odd superstitions about illnesses and how they're caused. Maybe it's true.) It wasn't until an hour into the trip that someone got the bright idea to open the hatch on the roof to let some air in. So, until then, I sweated like a pig. In an effort to look nice for Tamila's mom, I was wearing a long-sleeve dress shirt and dress slacks. My shirt was soon wet with sweat, and the creases in my pants practically evaporated in that steam bath of a bus. At one point, I just took off my shirt and stuck it in my backpack, which helped a little.

To make matters a little worse, there weren't two seats together on the bus, so Tamila had to sit a couple of rows behind me. Frankly, she was being rather b****y anyway. We almost missed our bus, and if we had, we would have missed her cousin's graduation. But we made it.

After the bus, then we had to take a taxi to get to her mother's house, which was another 45 minutes from where the bus dropped us off. The taxi -- like every other one I've ridden in here -- was a rattly, Ukrainian-made subcompact about the size of a Chevy Cobalt, driven by a young guy with absolutely no fear of death, and an unhealthy desire to test the outer limits of the car's performance capabilities. The scenery on the way was incredible, though. It was near sundown as we drove through miles and miles of vast green fields broken only by an occasional line of trees. I don't think I've ever seen so much open space before.

Our first stop was Tamila's brother's house. He wasn't home, but I met Tamila's sister-in-law, Zhana, her little niece, Evgeniya (who was adorable but shy), and a very talkative old Ukrainian gentleman named Andrei, who had no teeth. I think Andrei was Zhana's father. Actually, he was pretty funny. Even though he realized that I spoke no Russian, he kept talking to me anyway!

After lots of chatting in Russian, Zhana joined in the taxi and we sped off to the mother's house. The house was a small farmhouse, with a wild, unkempt yard like you see in rural areas. There were chickens and ducks in the backyard, as well as a couple of unhappy-looking dogs who were chained up back there.

Her mom has short, dark hair, is a little heavy set, and was wearing a floral-print dress. She's in her mid to late 50s, I think, and had really remarkable skin for a woman her age. Hardly a wrinkle in sight. We sat down in her small, but very neat and tidy living room. Tamila and her mother set up a table, and the three of us had some cake and sparkling red wine, which we'd bought on the way there. I could tell that I was being treated as a guest. Tamila opened the wine (which sprayed all over the table and onto the rug!), cut the cake, and did all of the serving. Her mom took dishes, utensils, and crystal wine glasses out of a hutch in the living room, which were obviously used only for special occasions, and carefully wiped each one off with a towel before setting them on the table.

After we'd finished, I asked to use the bathroom. Tamila translated what I said, and she, Zhana, and the mom had a little chuckle. Tamila said "come with me," and led me outside. We walked out into the backyard, and Tamila said "very bad bathroom," as she pointed to two out houses in the yard (made of cinder blocks with wooden doors). She then offered me a small roll of brown-colored toilet paper, which thankfully I didn't need for this particular visit. As you can imagine, it wasn't the most pleasant place to take a leak, but served its purpose. I could've used a few tips on where to aim, though. It was very dark inside there, and I couldn't see a damn thing. When I got out, I realized that some pee had ricocheted off the floor and onto my left shoe and pant leg. When I came in, I washed my hands in this tiny room with only a bathtub -- no sink and, naturally, no toilet. I wondered if this was the only place in the house with running water.

Shortly after that, we went to her cousin's graduation. It took place at a small auditorum, which Tamila described as best she could as a "cultural center." I think it was like a community theater. Anyway, this is obviously a very important day here. The boys who are graduating dress up in their best suits, while the girls wear frilly, prom-like dresses and have their hair done up in elaborate styles. You got the sense that the kids really thought of this as their "moment." Family members bring bouquets of flowers to congratulate the girls. So Tamila and I bought some pretty red roses with glitter on them for her cousin. The kids come up to the small stage in groups, and their names are called individually as they walk up to accept their diplomas. I didn't understand what was said, but I think if they received special honors or were involved in activities or sports, a special announcement to that effect was made. In some cases, the crowd seemed especially impressed by what was said, and they cheered and clapped. Some of the graduates wore sashes or medals, which seemed to indicate an award of some kind.

The auditorium was packed, to say the least. In fact, many people, including me and Tamila, had to stand in the aisle. The place was just sweltering and, as before, I was dripping with sweat. The atmosphere was almost chaotic. People were constantly coming in and out (most families left after their kid's name was called, and a group of new people rushed in and took their seats). People moved eagerly to the front to take pictures as their family members took the stage. It felt like the crowd was constantly in motion.

Anyway, after Tamila's cousin received her diploma, we left to take the taxi and bus back to Poltava. It felt great to escape the sauna-like auditorium and step out into the cool night air. Even Tamila, who hasn't complained once about the temperature, was relieved to be outside. On the way home, Tamila gave me the invitation to the ceremony that her cousin sent her, which is a nice souvenir. We didn't get back to town until about 1:30. I read for awhile and quickly fell asleep.

Posted by: dagpop

Nice story Aaron. Maybe you should go back in the fall, when it is cooler.

Posted by: Aaron2

Quote:

Originally Posted by dagpop

Nice story Aaron. Maybe you should go back in the fall, when it is cooler.

Thanks. I live in Arizona, so I'm no sissy when it comes to heat. In the summertime, we typically have 100 consecutive days of 100-degree temperatures, and 110-degree days are not uncommon. Still, I found the indoor temperatures in Ukraine to be a bit uncomfortable.

Funny, I heard an American guy talking on the plane on the way back. He was from Texas, and was complaining about the lack of air movement and ventilation in indoor spaces in Ukraine. I totally agree with his observation. Everywhere you go in Arizona (and most warm-weather climates in the U.S.), you have both air conditioning and ceiling fans. Not so in Ukraine. Just getting someone to open a window is a major accomplishment!

Aaron

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Sounds like a good start to a relationship Aaron.

As we say in Michigan, it's not the temperature ... it's the humidity. I have a friend from Phoenix and when he visits he always says it is hot here. It's really only 80-85 but the humidity is about 90%. That's a big difference coming from a place where the humidity is about 10 - 15%

Good luck with your girl.

Posted by: blucatz

Did it feel like you stepped back into the early 1900's when you visited her mother? By the way you described her house, sounds like a West Virgina mansion.....LOL

Posted by: matt235

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

Sounds like a good start to a relationship Aaron.

As we say in Michigan, it's not the temperature ... it's the humidity. I have a friend from Phoenix and when he visits he always says it is hot here. It's really only 80-85 but the humidity is about 90%. That's a big difference coming from a place where the humidity is about 10 - 15%

Try July or August in Houston... 100+ degrees F, 95% Humidity. You have to "swim" to get to your car.

But I did read recently that Phoenix is the "sweatiest" city in the nation.

Posted by: freebird

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron2

Still, I found the indoor temperatures in Ukraine to be a bit uncomfortable.

Funny, I heard an American guy talking on the plane on the way back. He was from Texas, and was complaining about the lack of air movement and ventilation in indoor spaces in Ukraine.

you have both air conditioning and ceiling fans. Not so in Ukraine. Just getting someone to open a window is a major accomplishment!

Aaron

I had a similar situation, I was supposed to be the best man at my friends wedding, I am not good in the heat, and it was sweltering. The day before I realized there was only one fan in the church, so I told them I wanted to go and buy another fan before the ceremony. When I got to the hardware store they were only $9 each so I bought FIVE! During the service, the front of the chuch might have resembled an aircraft hanger with all the fans going but I was comfortable and d*mn was I glad of it!!! I would recommend to anyone staying there in the heat, buy a fan! You can always just give it to someone...

Check out all the fans in the church in my pic "Wedding in Kahovka"!

http://www.russianmeetingplace.com/...ding&perpage=12

Posted by: Aaron2

Quote:

Originally Posted by freebird

When I got to the hardware store they were only $9 each so I bought FIVE!

That's hilarious! Great story!

Aaron

Posted by: Aaron2

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucatz

Did it feel like you stepped back into the early 1900's when you visited her mother?

Oh, yeah! Well, except for the TV in mom's living room, which she is apparently glued to most of the day. We were watching a soap opera and you could tell she was really into it.

Aaron

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by freebird

Check out all the fans in the church in my pic "Wedding in Kahovka"!

http://www.russianmeetingplace.com/...ding&perpage=12

I only see 1 fan ... maybe my eyesight is failing me in my old age!

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

I only see 1 fan ... maybe my eyesight is failing me in my old age!

If there is more than 1, then I need to get my glasses adjusted.

Posted by: freebird

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucatz

If there is more than 1, then I need to get my glasses adjusted.

Get the glass polish out!

There are 4 fans visible, 2 fans on each side, 1 white & 1 black. The 5th & 6th fans are out of view on the far edges of the stage

I am to the right of the groom, there is a white fan right of me, and a black one in front of me. You can barely see it but if you look just below my feet you can see the stand, and the control panel is white, just in front of my left knee.

There are 2 more fans to the left of the bridesmaid, in front of the choir. One is white with a blue blade, the other is black.

There are 2 more fans not visible on the far left & right of the church.

But I guess this goes to prove my point, when the Babushka's were worried that the fans would block the view, I said people would hardly notice...

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Okay, I see 3 fans now, 2 are black and blend in.

Posted by: matt235

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucatz

If there is more than 1, then I need to get my glasses adjusted.

One word my friend...Lasik!!! Some of the best money I ever spent.

I see 4 fans and I can almost see the sweat coming off of the wedding party! But then again about 5 or 6 years ago I could tell you the sex of a gnat at 2000 yards. My, my...getting old is for the birds.

Cheers,

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by matt235

I had thought about it, but my doctor said that my eyes would not benefit from it, that the lens is just hardening up with old age which he said was normal. Now that the fans were pointed out I can see them. But I still only see 3.

ps. I just spotted the 4th....LOL

Posted by: freebird

How about you guys that have been over there - how did you deal with the heat? I try to avoid July & August because I do so badly in the heat. Everyday over 35 becomes just suffocating for me.

But then we don't get that weather out west here.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Well I don't like the heat but I just deal with it. I've wiped my brow many times in the FSU, I even bought some cotton "wipe rags" that I saw many Russian men use.

I was in southern Russia in early October for 2 weeks and it was 90-100 everyday ... plus it was humid! In Moldova it wasn't as hot and we had an air conditined hotel and taxis ... same as in Bulgaria plus we had a pool, temp was 95 plus everyday but the humidity wasn't too bad unless it rained.

I guess the answer for me is ... find AC or a pool.

Posted by: Spakoyna

Definately buy a ventilator(fan) for 2 for your apartment! There's usually only a few hours where the heat of the day is intense. Just chill during those hours. Cafe or this: I did see somewhere around 40C at the end of May in Novosibirsk. We were at the dacha and would go nap in the coolroom during the worst part of the day. Did our work early and late. Ya know I bet I toted 500 gallons of water a day for the garfden!

Posted by: freebird

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

I guess the answer for me is ... find AC or a pool.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

Definately buy a ventilator(fan) for 2 for your apartment!

Those were my strategies when I was over there in the heat.

Posted by: disculmawsu

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

One of my friends refers to high humidity in Michigan as "Michigan Monsoon". I really hate Michigan in August because of the humidity.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

So Aaron, how are things going with your girl? Maybe we can get an update?

Posted by: clark

Quote:

Originally Posted by freebird

http://www.russianmeetingplace.com/...ding&perpage=12

Funny you mentioned this. On a recent trip to Siberia I arrived at 6:00 in the morning. It was about 55-60 degrees and felt real nice because before boarding that flight I spent 12 hrs layover in DME in Moscow and it was hot as hades. I don't know the temp but there it was sweltering and there was no AC in DME.

As it turned out the day I arrived in Siberia was the hottest day of the year. (about 85 I think with a nice breeze) After arriving and breakfast and other pleasantries with my lady I was going to lay down and catch a nap as I haven't slept in two days. Quickly falling asleep and waking in less than an hour drenched in sweat. The apartment to me was like an oven, to my lady it was hot but she hadn't even broke out a sweat. Unable to sleep and faced with no AC and this for the next 2 weeks we went out looking for a fan.

We went to several places and stores looking for a fan. When I first stepped out of the apartment it was very pleasant and I couldn't figure out what the problem was. Outside it was gorgeous, low 80's and a nice cool breeze, very pleasant to walk around fan shopping. Every building we went into I would start to sweat profusely. It was if the heat in the buildings were on full blast.

Finally we found a store with some fans and I bought two. One for bringing air in and one for taking it out. From then on it was quite nice in the apartment. My lady who had never owned a fan in her life (nor needed one) now owns 2.