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Birth control?
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Posted by: Aaron2

Okay, guys, this may seem like an odd question. But I'm leaving a week from today to visit a woman in Ukraine that I've been writing for more than three months, and I need to know the answer.

I never have sex without a condom -- at least not until I'm in a long-term, committed relationship. What are the attitudes in the FSU about that? I know, for example, that devout Catholics do not believe in using birth control (although apparently I've never dated one

). Is the same true of the Russian Orthodox faith?

Is there any reason to believe that my girlfriend will object to the use of birth control?

I'd hate to have a cross-cultural misunderstanding on this issue! So, any insights would be appreciated!

Thanks,

Aaron

Posted by: AkMike

It's a very common form of BC all over the world. Don't worry about it. But don't flash them in public also.

Posted by: freebird

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron2

Is there any reason to believe that my girlfriend will object to the use of birth control?

Thanks,

Aaron

No. And you would be crazy to chance it without one, just as with someone in the US.

Also be very careful if you talk about it, Russians do not often talk about these things.

You might want to bring a "spermicide" from home, it can be difficult to find over there.

Posted by: BO_4u2

Just be prepare in case something happens, it is not a big deal if you have to use them in your trip, some women even carry them in their purse. It will depend in how things develop for you. Good luck in your trip.

Posted by: Cheburashka

And the word for condom over there is "prezervativ" or "презерватив".

Wrap that rascal.

Posted by: dagpop

You will have to see what happens. She might not want to do it on the 1st trip. Take protection if she does.

Posted by: myshka

Cheb, you bring up an embarassing moment for me, by mentioning preservativ!
Many moons ago, in 1996, I was very active in IRC speaking on Russian channels and at this time, did not know the word preservativ's meaning. I was saying in English, that I was older than most of the guys I was talking to, (i am a woman) but i didnt need a preservative yet or something like that, and they totally riffed on the Russian meaning of preservativ, and I was clueless. It was really funny but not at the time!

Posted by: Cheburashka

Myshka that made me chuckle. What a great story.

And I hope dags is right about not doing it on the first visit. But that is a discussion for the religion forum I guess.

Either way, I hope you have an amazing visit.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

The first time I told Larisa that "we" put preservatives in our food, she about busted a gut!

Posted by: redhawk

me too gtr,when talking about our cok,versus theirs. ours makes my stomach hurt due to preservatives. they all laughed at me."what did i SAY"

frflowr:

Posted by: Aaron2

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheburashka

And I hope dags is right about not doing it on the first visit. But that is a discussion for the religion forum I guess.

Either way, I hope you have an amazing visit.

Well, I guess it's all a matter of personal choice. But my girlfriend has said to me in a hundred subtle ways how much she's looking forward to it! And I'd hate to disappoint her!

But we'll see. Either way, I know I'll have a good time.

She's really excited about the trip. The proof? She's actually volunteered to brave the four-hour car ride from Poltava to pick me up in Kiev. Her agency is sending a driver, and she's riding with them. It's costing me a few bucks, but it's better than braving the train system and taking the risk of getting horribly, horribly lost. Plus, it's nice that I get to see her a few hours earlier than I would otherwise.

Aaron

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron2

Well, I guess it's all a matter of personal choice. But my girlfriend has said to me in a hundred subtle ways how much she's looking forward to it! And I'd hate to disappoint her!

But we'll see. Either way, I know I'll have a good time.

There were allot of hints between my Lady and I on this subject before we met. Finally I brought the subject out into the open with her and her response to me was "I'm gonna wear you out". Alrighty then, let the fun begin.....LOL

Posted by: matt235

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucatz

It seems that the "I'm gonna wear you out" attitude is somewhat common place amoung non-AW's. Or in other words, they don't use sex as a bargining chip.

Just my thoughts (and a few experiences) on the subject.

matt235

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by matt235

Or in other words, they don't use sex as a bargining chip.

Just my thoughts (and a few experiences) on the subject.

matt235

I have found they participate in it because they like it, and they understand it aids a healthy relationship, not to use it as a way of giving you a treat just because you have been forced to do something for them

Posted by: Aaron2

Quote:

Originally Posted by matt235

Or in other words, they don't use sex as a bargining chip.
matt235

I don't think AWs use sex as a "bargaining chip," at least in my experience. In my view, the only time it's used as a bargaining chip is when the relationship is already in the toilet. Or, put another way, if they're using sex that way, then that's a pretty good indication that the relationship is pretty dysfunctional anyway.

Posted by: Spakoyna

LMAOROTF! Sex is the 1 weapon women of all ages,nationalities,etc. have used aginst men since the beginning!

frflowr:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron2

Posted by: matt235

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron2

I could give you so many examples of my past relationships, but I think the moderators would personally come to Houston and beat me with a wet noodle! In my life I have dated only AW's until about 7 years ago when a friend of mine showed me the light. He showed me a "brochure" from Anastasia (I know, don't go there!). Anyway, we both looked into this whole RW thing and there were light bulbs going on above both of our heads.

Since that time, I have dated the following nationalities: Persian (Iranian), Columbian, El Salvadorian, Czech, Romanian, Lebanese, Mexican, Brazilian, Italian, Russian and Ukranian. I have also dated 1 AW roughly in the middle of all the other ladies. The AW was drop dead gorgeous, financially secure, blah, blah, blah... I spent about 2 weeks with her and realized what was going on and ran as fast as humanly possible (at least as fast as I could) to get away from her.

I won't go into the specifics of what she said/did regarding using sex as a bargining chip, but let's just say that is was quite obvious where I stood. With the non AW's that I have dated, sex was never ever once even considered as a bargining chip!

We all have our own perspective of things, however, let's look at this. A couple of weeks ago, I was reading one of the online news sites that has a column with dating advice. There was some lady (an AW) asking about her relationship with a guy. Seems this AW and the guy had sex somewhere about 6 or 7 weeks into the dating phase (yikes!) and she wanted to become "exclusive" with the guy, but he was, I guess you can say, iffy about it. Thus she writes this help column detailling what happened. The columnists advice was that the flat out gave up the sex too quickly and easily.

Now whether or not she gave up the sex too quickly or easily is irrellevent here. The important point to think about is the fact that sex is without a doubt the bargining chip in this situation. Had the AW not "given it up", she would still be able to use the chip in dealing with the guy. However, since they had had sex, the columnist (a rather famous one too) flat out told her that she did not have any room to "barter" with the guy regarding the relationship. According to the columnist, the AW gave the guy what he wanted and now she would be discarded like a cheap pair of socks. (I am trying to find the actual column and see if I can get it posted for all to read--just not sure if the moderators will let me!)

Reality is that all women use sex as a bargining chip/tool. We men are week in this regard and women understand (and use) this about us. It is just that the AW uses it at a much different level than any other nationality.

Posted by: deccie

Interesting read on the "sex as barter" angle.

http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/golddigger.asp

Posted by: Buckeye5704

Quote:

Originally Posted by deccie

Interesting read on the "sex as barter" angle.

http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/golddigger.asp

Dah! Interesting read indeed. Makes me very glad I went RW.

Posted by: matt235

Quote:

Originally Posted by deccie

Interesting read on the "sex as barter" angle.

http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/golddigger.asp

I was laughing so hard, my eyes started tearing!!! Laughing because the truth of what it is saying--commercialism of relationships amoung AW's!

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by deccie

Interesting read on the "sex as barter" angle.

http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/golddigger.asp

OMG that was funny

Posted by: redhawk

my older brother says that marraige is a form of legal prostitution. and that article was great! lol