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Marriage success rates?
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Posted by: Buckeye5704

I'm sure this has come up before, but I would like to hear from those of you who have been together. both before and after the wedding for a while. In other words I'd like to hear about some successful relationships and how long they have lasted.

Irina worked at an agency before she came here and knows about the sad stories on that end and she gets a lot of negative news from many of her friends here too. I keep telling her that there are many success stories and the divorce rate should be close to the national average for American marriages too, but...

We are fine, btw, just a topic of discussion once in awhile.

Posted by: redhawk

i think any couple who sucessfully goes through the fiancee visa process stands a very good chance, 70 percent id say,of staying together. there are so many pitfalls in being apart for a very long time,i cant even begin to explain. its not like you can go to the movies on friday together,go shopping,etc.(except for lucky you

-)
one simple argument by sms can last for days,started by not understanding the exact meaning of what the other is trying to say. (language barrier) even though she may understand english 100 percent,she does not understand the subtle nuances of the english language,nor do i or you understand in russian, there are not many of these such nuances. these things happen easily from far away.
there are always exceptions,like my ex aw wife

but this is just my opinion-

other difficulties in a marriage that would break or cripple a traditional non ldr say with a woman from here,may seem trivial or not worth losing what you both worked so hard to obtain together. the more you invest,the more you care,the more you have to lose. its that simple.

i dont know the exact figure,but its alot better than the national usa average of 56 percent ending in divorce. this is a very good question id like to see the statistical answer to. ill bet uscis has those somewhere.......

Posted by: sidney

I'm probably on the high end of the curve being married almost 7 years.
I feel our marriage has only gotten better thru the years. There were minor adjustments on both of our parts but with support from the other half it was no problem. I think setting goals has kept us from getting stagnant. I would say love and respect of each other is key to making it last.
Sid

Posted by: Buckeye5704

Wish I'd started a poll on this now. So I think I will.

Posted by: EasyTarget

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhawk

this is a very good question id like to see the statistical answer to. ill bet uscis has those somewhere.......

As far as I know, USCIS doesn't keep divorce rate statistics. They do keep stats on number of applications and number of people who returned to their country of origin but they don't explain why. Or at least I have never been able to find any stats for it. Once someone receives their permanent green card, you are out of system.

Back to the original comment about working in an agency and seeing sad / horror stories. I really think the 100 to 1 rule applies here. If you have a bad experience you are more likely to tell 100 people. And if you have a good experience you will only tell 1 person.

Sites like antidate, list all these horror stories, and I have the feeling it is because if someone has a bad experience they want to vent, get revenge, cry out loud, get some sympathy, etc... However if someone has a good experience (success) they are too busy too share and don't really have a place to share their success. Where as they are dozens of websites that allow you to complain and moan about bad experiences.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhawk

i think any couple who sucessfully goes through the fiancee visa process stands a very good chance, 70 percent id say,of staying together.

i dont know the exact figure,but its alot better than the national usa average of 56 percent ending in divorce. this is a very good question id like to see the statistical answer to. ill bet uscis has those somewhere.......

A knowledgeable member of the RMP gave me some info that I am currently trying to locate the source of and the stats out of it are nothing like what anyone would think, infact they are pretty bad. I have also been told USCIS does have figures and have released them, also very bad, but I don't know where to find them. So until I can find them that is all I can say about that apart from the fact we have some members here who seem to be defying the stats.

Posted by: Raspberry

I'm just curious how the FSU countries' stats stack up with those of Colombia,
Philippines and Thailand.......which are other popular places to find a foreign bride....

Posted by: I/O

A US based immigration lawyer I spoke to some time back was emphatic there is no official stats on the US situation. I haven't located anything meaningful within the Au system either, which is not to say info doesn't exist but..........

The same US based lawyer has completed something like 6000 K-1's and other relevant visas (Partners bringing partners from abroad). He remarked to me that he (Or his firm) seem to be the first place one or the other partner come looking for advice when all goes south. At the time he remarked he had been too disappointed with the overall result to count the numbers accurately but his impressions were that less than 25% make it through 5 years.

He also qualified that to an extent on the basis he knows a percentage of cases were only "Green Card" marriages in the first place with no long term plan to remain married. He further suggested there is several different types of GC marriages. (Financial arrangement, Scams and so forth)

It all strikes me as being near impossible to gather stats on success..........because where do you click the point of being a success. Much easier to gather data on failure, but again at what point? All very subjective IMO.

I/O

Posted by: redhawk

i left out one VERY important point in my post- THEY HAVE TO TRULY LOVE EACH OTHER! unfortunately,only time will tell.
OZ, if you find those statistics please post them. i hope its not as bad as some of you think.
if any of us fit this description, example- "ugly man over 50 with 4 ex-wives,15kids,a pot belly and male pattern baldness seeks hot,slim 19 year old porno star from moscow to cook his meals,clean his house and give him free sex for life...."then of course they will split on you.(maybe even spit)
the morons who fit this profile and do the k-1 in a case such as this deserve whatever they get.

Posted by: AkMike

When I began my search I looked around for some real stats. on this topic. I didn't find anything then Tim.
We're going on 3 1/2 years now and all is fine!

I'm sure that it will continue because we are truely best friends.

Posted by: EasyTarget

Quote:

Originally Posted by I/O

It all strikes me as being near impossible to gather stats on success..........because where do you click the point of being a success. Much easier to gather data on failure, but again at what point? All very subjective IMO.

Because the topic has come several times in the past I have searched USCIS site several times, and I could never find any success OR failure rates for marriages.

If a couple got divorced after 25 years of marriage, does it all of sudden become a failure? Because 5 years earlier you would have counted them as a success.

Posted by: Buckeye5704

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

When I began my search I looked around for some real stats. on this topic. I didn't find anything then Tim.
We're going on 3 1/2 years now and all is fine!

I'm sure that it will continue because we are truely best friends.

I was hoping to hear from you Mike. Thanks for what you said. I have told Irina that it depends on the two people in the relationship first. And we have already told each other that we want to be with our best friend for life. Honestly I think that we will go the distance because of all the ground that we've already covered successfully. We do have a language barrier, though a major one and I won't stop learning Russian until we can have an intelligent conversation with no "what does that mean?" included. Actually I told I wouldn't stop til I could go to Russian and surprise whoever that I'm American after we've been talking for awhile. A tall order, I know, but not impossible.

The 100-1 rule is something that I'm trying to explain to her too.

Hey, I'm STILL her man and she's still my woman and that's all I really care about.

Posted by: AkMike

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buckeye5704

"what does that mean?" .

LMAFAO
Tim no matter where you are or she is and no matter if you're best friends or not.. If you're going to be a male and she's a female that question IS going to come up!

I've been bear hunting for a week Tim I'll try to get back up to speed.

Yes, (Horrors) real guns and real bullets with real dead bears too!

Posted by: EasyTarget

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

Yes, (Horrors) real guns and real bullets with real dead bears too!

Because what would be the point of shooting a stuffed teddy bear. Not much of a challenge is it?

Posted by: AkMike

Sorry ET, I had to show it for the anti gun crowd.

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

Sorry ET, I had to show it for the anti gun crowd.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

Yes, (Horrors) real guns and real bullets with real dead bears too!

GO BEARS!!!!! Bare down Chicago Bears (sung to the Chicago Bears fight song)

Posted by: AkMike

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chillidog

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Aww go stub your toe!

Posted by: Buckeye5704

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

Aww go stub your toe!

Well, he's already got a bum knee, but at least his butt isn't too big in those jeans. Or so we're told.

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buckeye5704

Well, he's already got a bum knee, but at least his butt isn't too big in those jeans. Or so we're told.

Kinda sounds like he's just falling apart with old age....LOL

Posted by: gino

Next November I will be married 5 years. It has not been simple but were both happily married.

Posted by: Pin Boy

congrats gino and thanks for adding to the thread. hope i can say the same someday!

pin boy

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by gino

Next November I will be married 5 years. It has not been simple but were both happily married.

congratulations Gino!!!!

wishing you a lifetime of wedded bliss

Posted by: Buckeye5704

Hey, thanks Gino,

I had forgotten about this thread what with the trip and now working on a place to live in CT. I very happy for you both and hope you get many, many more years together.