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Posted by: Moe123

Some days ago I told a woman I am in contact with, that I will come to visit her and would like to spend one whole day with her and then leave her for several days, and come back and stay with her for 10 days more if we like each other and want to build a future life together. She replied upset and said you want to go meet other women, to pick and choose maybe somebody other than me, I don't like that. I did not tell her I intend to meet other women. But I think it is overbearing of her to assume such a thing. She admitted to me that she has male friends and yet she has the nerve to tell me I cannot have female friends in Ukraine. As she has not directly asked me whether or not I have female friends in Ukraine, I am saying I need some time to adjust to the change of climate and environment of her country. Australia has a completely different climate to Ukraine. So same as RP and one or 2 other guys I am trying to get around any talk about other women. Besides, I have found that according to the rules of dating a woman must not ask whether or not a man who is coming a very long way, is planning to meet others. So she is clearly in the wrong if she wants to go that way.

Posted by: Pin Boy

rules of dating? clearly in the wrong? where are these printed?? why not make the time with her uninterrupted instead of one day with, a few days away, and then ten days back with? can't blame her for being upset. sounds like you're making trouble for yourself....

pb

Posted by: Sparky114

Moe123

Firstly is this your first trip to Ukraine?
There is too much information missing in your tr to try to get a decent answer from us here, as PB has just said RULES ON DATING LONG DISTANCE i do not think there are any such rules, you need to work out between the involved parties your own set of rules !

IMHO you are whipping your self up a whole lot of trouble if you continue down the all powerfull man route your seem to be treading at the moment, if i had told my Fiancee that i would see her for one day then go away for a few days she would have definatly kicked me into touch pretty damm quick

you are dealing with ladies that have a very strong attitude to everything, and do not take kindly to these things. But if you win their affection then you can be sure of somthing that for us is so different and alluring

From my experience most of the circle of friends that my Fiancee moves in Know all the details of WMVM and they avoid this to extremes, now i do not know if this is the position you are in and I said this is only my opinion.

Mark

Posted by: Sparky114

Hi PB

I think if it is possible it would be good to move MOES post above and make a new tread, as it has little to do with the RP Thread

Cheers

Mark

Posted by: I/O

Moe: Herein lies one of the issues of this persuit. She can meet and date who she wants, but you, as the traveller, must meet only her (In her thinking) or you are a playboy or sex tourist. I am not at all surprised by her reaction, although I have always thought it a little double standard.

The visit many routine dictates one needs to be a touch more organised than the average bear. I suspect you've opened a can of worms which will be difficult if not impossible to reseal. You've a number of choices and some of them are 1) Lie (Most VM guys do). 2) Stick with her and forget the rest (Risky). 3) Meet her and then make other dicisions later. 4) Pass her by and meet others.

Quote:

I am saying I need some time to adjust to the change of climate and environment of her country.

LOL........C'mon, you've got to do a lot better than that. These Eastern girls aren't silly. Her decoding of that will go something like this.......he wants to check out a few of the wet and humid zones of this country and I ain't gunna be one of many test sites for him (Correct or not, that'll be pretty much how how she'll be viewing it).

Some would argue if she is so minded right now, give her a miss. I don't know how you deal with this sort of thing because I can see two sides to it, but one thing is clear, don't expect to be cut any slack by these women simply because you are travelling half way around the world to meet them. That's your problem, you chose to do that, not her. As for rules, LOL, there is only one rule to be applied, a guy makes one mistake (In her eyes) and he is toast. Not much different from dating locally other than there is a lot more potential mistakes to be made on the international scene and a great many of the Eastern girls are way more street sharp than Australian girls.

Moe, you've just had a taste of what an absolute minefield this international relationship thing can be. There is every potential for this to become another of the VO vs VM debates. I don't care much either way because both have their struggles. It is no easy task. Good luck.

FWIW

I/O

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Moe, why go and visit for a day then go away and come back if you like each other and want to build a future with each other? That does not make sense at all. It will take weeks, more like months, to decide if you want a future together and you want to do it in a day. This is a treadmill to disaster. I think she has you clued up pretty well just from what you have said here, you haven't given us the whole story and it seems as though you certainly haven't given her the whole story either.

Quote:

Originally Posted by I/O

Correct me if I'm wrong I/O, have you just insinuated Moe is a sex tourist?

Quote:

Originally Posted by I/O

Not much different from dating locally other than there is a lot more potential mistakes to be made on the international scene and a great many of the Eastern girls are way more street sharp than Australian girls.

Big generalisation.

Posted by: I/O

Quote:

Originally Posted by OzGuyLooking

Correct me if I'm wrong I/O, have you just insinuated Moe is a sex tourist?

Consider yourself "corrected". You are wrong.

I/O

Posted by: Texas Proud

Moe....

Flat out... you are going about it wrong IMO....

Don't try and blow smoke up my skirt (and hers) by saying you are going to go and get used to the climate... BS big time...

And how do you have 'friends' in the Ukraine? Other women you are writing??? Probably... so they are not FRIENDS.... in her eyes or mine... they are potential 'mates'...

As for some saying a double standard.... I have never (repeat NEVER) have heard of any woman who was having two men visit her at the same time... writing to different men, yes... and they are aware that you are writing to other women (they are not stupid).... but don't try and make it like she is doing something wrong here...

To me this is like you asked this lady out.... and why out on your date you said 'wait her, I see a good looking woman over there and I want to get her number.... I will be right back'..... how do you think that will go over with your date?

If you do plan to met a number of women.. (WMVM)... be upfront about it... and spend a few days with her and then a few with your other or others... after you get back home... sort out your feeling and see if they feel the same and go from there...

But like someone said... it seems you have some macho attitudes that you can do whatever you want and they have to take it... your so called 'rules'... well, there are no rules...

And I am not implying you are a sex tourist at all... just that you seem to be misinformed on how 'they' should react to you...

Posted by: AkMike

TP has it down right.. These women are very smart ladies so treat them as such.
They've been around the block and know what's going on. Be up front and honest about your plans.
You've already blown your chance with this woman. Move on.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:

Originally Posted by I/O

Consider yourself "corrected". You are wrong.

I/O

I stand corrected then. Sorry for any confusion I just thought your wording

Quote:

Originally Posted by I/O

he wants to check out a few of the wet and humid zones of this country and I ain't gunna be one of many test sites for him

was a strange way to put something.

Posted by: Chillidog

Dating Rules? never heard of any, and if there are, they are always are always changing.
10-15 years ago the "Dating Tours" were all the big hype, and at this time western men and attitudes were new to the FSU women, the serious minded good woman was attending these socials and so there were successes in this type of travel. Today the woman of FSU have lived, the western man is no longer a kept secret from these woman, even the women in the smaller out of the way towns has run across a western man or two. The "dating socials" are now viewed by many woman as, "just men coming to have a good time" and are becoming to view these for right or wrong as "sex tours" and the greater % of women attending these socials are the GTG type. For good or bad I see a trend of the man doing the VM being now associated with these "Big social dating tours" and are getting lumped into a possible "sex tourist".
This whole adventure is difficult as person hates to blow a whole trip on VO and come away with a lost trip, but it is also becoming much more difficult for the VM to even VM because of a perception the FSU women are having about this type of trip.
In all I think it is much more difficult to find successes in this adventure no matter the method VO or VM then it was 5-10 years ago and I think it will continue to become more difficult.

No matter what method you use, these woman want to feel WANTED, that you have CHOOSEN THEM because you believe they are special and are willing to give them 100% of your ATTENTION. if you do not do this in every step of the process then you have already lost.

in this case to see her for 1 day and then go away for a few days to return to spend 10 days with her does not make this women feel wanted or special. It makes her feel well if he can't find anything better then he will spend his time with me, no decent woman would feel good under this scenerio, a GTG would be welcoming you back with open arms and empting your pocket book before you even knew what happened

Posted by: freebird

Quote:

Originally Posted by OzGuy

Correct me if I'm wrong I/O, have you just insinuated Moe is a sex tourist?

Big generalisation.

No I/O is saying that will be how the WOMEN will see it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud

Moe....

Flat out... you are going about it wrong IMO....

Don't try and blow smoke up my skirt (and hers) by saying you are going to go and get used to the climate... BS big time...

And how do you have 'friends' in the Ukraine? Other women you are writing??? Probably... so they are not FRIENDS.... in her eyes or mine... they are potential 'mates'...

As for some saying a double standard.... I have never (repeat NEVER) have heard of any woman who was having two men visit her at the same time... writing to different men, yes... and they are aware that you are writing to

If you do plan to met a number of women.. (WMVM)... be upfront about it...

Good post I/O.

Texas I mostly agree, except that I think it is a double standard to some extent. If you visit a women and she has another man coming to visit her she probably does not feel that is wrong to meet the second first before deciding if she will make a comitment to you.

Moe - as to the '"Rules of dating", "{more like standard practices"} the women have a different set than the men. From what I hear is said on the women's forums, they advise if a man comes to her and then wants to meet others - DUMP HIM!

My personal opinion - write to several women, a couple letters each to decide if she is a good match. make sure to get phone #'s and contact info. Decide which one will be your first choice, if things don't work out with her then you can call another girl and ask if she would like to meet, you have already written a couple of letters so you know she is interested. If the girls {other than your primary} ask when you are coming to Russia {Ukraine etc}, just reply that you hope to come in the summer if your business schedule permits, but don't be specific.

Posted by: I/O

Quote:

Originally Posted by OzGuyLooking

I stand corrected then. Sorry for any confusion I just thought your wording
was a strange way to put something.

Perhaps you missed this preface.....

Quote:

Her decoding of that will go something like this

From TP

Quote:

I have never (repeat NEVER) have heard of any woman who was having two men visit her at the same time...

3 examples I know of personally where guys were played off for a few days whilst she checked out the next punter on his way through. BTW, don't for a moment think these ladies don't have a healthy supply of local suitors. Most will keep all options open and those options include local dates. To think otherwise is naive.

From Akmike

Quote:

You've already blown your chance with this woman. Move on.

Unfortunately, I am inclined to agree.

I/O

Posted by: freebird

Too true I/O, it will be hard to put that genie back in the bottle...

Posted by: Stirlitz

Quote:

Originally Posted by I/O

Moe: Herein lies one of the issues of this persuit. She can meet and date who she wants, but you, as the traveller, must meet only her (In her thinking) or you are a playboy or sex tourist. I am not at all surprised by her reaction, although I have always thought it a little double standard.

A little� to put it very mildly! Yep, it is a double standard. None of the women who object to the man seeing other women on a trip will refuse to meet other men simply because someone is coming to see her

You see, it is a game. The one who is not gullible wins

Rules? Simple. If you meet a person on a train and have vodka with them, you do not ask them to let you spend a night in their home, right? Etc. I believe that the rules mentioned are simple politeness. You cannot order another person what to do. Unless you committed to her by proposing or possibly having sex, etc, you are free to meet anyone and go anywhere and this should not bother her. Yes, I am aware that a woman may believe that she has the right to control or try to control where her husband goes and whom she meets with regard to women (although it does not mean I deem it rightful to control anyone under any pretext). But trying to impose your rules on somebody you barely know, who you have not even seen yet, is ridiculous.

However, you should not make it clear you are meeting someone else. Avoid this issue without too much lying and see if she is too much concerned about it and brings it up all the time, if yes, just move on. Be a diplomat not simpleton and again, remember: it�s a game. Don�t be a fool playing by the rule, be the winner who takes it all

(� ABBA)

Posted by: Texas Proud

Quote:

Originally Posted by I/O

From TP3 examples I know of personally where guys were played off for a few days whilst she checked out the next punter on his way through. BTW, don't for a moment think these ladies don't have a healthy supply of local suitors. Most will keep all options open and those options include local dates. To think otherwise is naive.

I/O

Sorry... let me state it a different way.... because you are right, there are some who are green card women and they will do this... my fiancee was very surprised that the day she had her interview that almost all of the other women came to the embassy WITH THEIR LOCAL BOYFRIEND.... these were the young 20 something yo girls who wanted 'out'...

So now we joke about her and her 'boyfriend'....

But my restatement.... no regular, normal, or girl you would want is seeing many men AT THE SAME TIME....

Posted by: I/O

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud

There is a lot of algee (scum) floating on the surface of this pond (International dating pool) around which so many frogs (Male punters) wish to sit and gaze. One needs to hold their breath and dive very deep if one is to find a pearl. Another described it elsewhere as a "Dirty Barrell".

Igor (Stirlitz) and I often don't agree, but on this one, I'd suggest those who haven't travelled or haven't travelled much have a good read of his earlier post, he has it pretty much spot on for the most part. It's a game, with very few winners.

I/O

Posted by: Moe123

Thanks guys for your criticism and advice. I am taking it on board. The thing about rules is a relief because in the back of my mind I hated having to be their slave. And many times they let me down. My instincts often fought with them. Now I can give my instincts free reign.

Texas Proud, what I said about the Australian climate being different from the Ukrainian climate is not BS bigtime. It's a fact. The woman has no reason to assume that I am dishonest. The seasons are on opposite poles. When it is winter here, it is summer there, and vice versa. Last time I went to Ukraine I had a hard time adjusting and it was compounded by jet lag. And one who has been single for a long time, in a fairly unsocial life cannot just jump into things and suddenly be very social. Meeting and dating a woman is a very social process.

Regarding the woman I mentioned, I must have spent at least a couple of hundred dollars so far on letters to her through an agent over the last couple of months, and she speaks English, and I still can't get her phone number. The agency wants me to pay a real lot more before they'll allow it. I think I'm going to cut my losses and move on. If she contacts me and finds a way to give me her phone number, I'll take it from there and see what to do.

Posted by: Sparky114

Regarding the woman I mentioned, I must have spent at least a couple of hundred dollars so far on letters to her through an agent over the last couple of months, and she speaks English, and I still can't get her phone number. The agency wants me to pay a real lot more before they'll allow it. I think I'm going to cut my losses and move on. If she contacts me and finds a way to give me her phone number, I'll take it from there and see what to do.[/QUOTE]

MOVE ON NOW this is a typical scam, Sorry to be so blunt but i am sure the rest of the people here will agree

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Moe, your right about the climate being different. Australia's climate and weather patterns are totally different. I know for myself it would be hard acclimatizing to an Eastern European climate. I think what the guys are just trying to point out is it looks like an excuse to leave the lady after a day and that the lady is right to think what she is thinking. The gentlemanly thing to do would be to take here with you if you were intent on seeing a warmer part of the country. The wisest thing would be to stick it out in her area, cause remember if you do hit it off and she eventually comes to Australia she will have to stay in your area with you and she may be like you and have difficulty adjusting to our climate.

Posted by: Sparky114

Great advice OG i think you have hit the nail on the head

Just Moes second paragraph that worries me

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moe123

Regarding the woman I mentioned, I must have spent at least a couple of hundred dollars so far on letters to her through an agent over the last couple of months, and she speaks English, and I still can't get her phone number. The agency wants me to pay a real lot more before they'll allow it. I think I'm going to cut my losses and move on. If she contacts me and finds a way to give me her phone number, I'll take it from there and see what to do.

I second Sparky's motion, If you have spent a couple of hundreds of dollars with agency over the last few months, and they (agency) wants you to spend A LOT more before giving you a phone number, THEN MOVE ON!!!! you may be dealing with a real woman,---but you ARE dealing with a SCAMMING AGENCY, FIND A DIFFERENT AGENCY and yes this means you may have to find a different woman. You need to get her phone number, talk to her and make sure you are dealing with a real woman. I would be more concerned with this before worring about travelling.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sparky114

Great advice OG i think you have hit the nail on the head

Just Moes second paragraph that worries me

I agree Sparky, I think the exactly what Chiili said, the agency is pulling a scam and if Moe wants to go further with this lady he needs to find another agency of he needs to find another lady and agency altogether

Posted by: Texas Proud

Moe...

I don't think I said that the climates were not different... just that you need to LEAVE for 10 days to get acclimated... to me this sounds like a lot of BS..

My lady and I met in Egypt.... from her cold winter to a warm Egypt.... she was out in her bikini ASAP.... so if you are going to see her soon... .it is your winter to her summer.... if you are talking about the other way... well that is a long time from now so again I would be suspicious....

As for if SHE is a scam.... I would vote no... because she is not liking your suggestion to leave and come back... but I do agree that the agency is screwing you... do some searching and see if you can find her in another agency OR even better yet in a free one...

Many will say it again and again... don't get caught up in an agency that will bleed you to death... they are not reputable IMO...

I see you did not address my comment about your other 'friend'.... so I guess both her and I were right... it is not a friend but another woman... so be it...

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud

As for if SHE is a scam.... I would vote no... because she is not liking your suggestion to leave and come back... but I do agree that the agency is screwing you... do some searching and see if you can find her in another agency OR even better yet in a free one...

TP,
not sure if you were referring to my post about scaming so I thought I would just re-post my thoughts for you to make sure.

I do not think she is a scam either, but if he has not spoken with her on the phone, the jury may still be out deciding.

My belief as I said in the post is the Agency is definitely scamming him out of his money and needs to cut ties with them even if it means losing communication with her.

He could tell her in a letter the reason he is ending communication because the agency will not give him her phone number, but I suspect this agency also translates the letters and therefore will edit this part out, or word it so Moe123 will look like the bad guy.

Either way he should like you said find her on a different site, or do a 3-way call with the agency make it short and sweet ask for her number (he stated she speaks English) get off the phone and call her himself.

What bothers me most is plans to meet, but have never talked on the phone? all correspondence has been thru the agency, if they do not give out the phone number, how do you even know the letters are from her?

Posted by: blucatz

It sounds like hotrussianbride.com to me. They won't give out any personal contact info untill you have spent a certain amount of money with them, around $1500. They say its to protect the woman, I say its BS. Besides, who needs a few days to get acclimated to the weather? Also sounds like BS to me, and to the woman. Hell, in the winter when its 15 degrees in OH, I would jump on a plane to the Bahama's where its 80 degrees just for a long weekend with no problems. Jetlag? Just came back from Moscow, 8 hour time difference, don't need days to re-adjust. There's more to this story than whats being told here.

Posted by: JohnnyLaRue

10 days does not sound acceptable for the reasons the topic creator stated, at least in my humble opinion.

I do NOT condone lying but at the very least he should have said he was going there (near there) on a business trip and would able to see her for one day and be back in 3 days time.

Posted by: nocomfortzone

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucatz

It sounds like hotrussianbride.com to me. They won't give out any personal contact info untill you have spent a certain amount of money with them, around $1500. They say its to protect the woman, I say its BS. Besides, who needs a few days to get acclimated to the weather? Also sounds like BS to me, and to the woman. Hell, in the winter when its 15 degrees in OH, I would jump on a plane to the Bahama's where its 80 degrees just for a long weekend with no problems. Jetlag? Just came back from Moscow, 8 hour time difference, don't need days to re-adjust. There's more to this story than whats being told here.

I cannot comment on the agency thing as never joined one. I used translations services with the girl I meet online from Ukraine.

However, it sounds like this guy comes from the same state as me in Australia and I know from my side I was very concerned about the climate difference between Australia and Ukraine and that had a major factor in me delaying meeting her. As we are in southern hemisphere and most of the world live in northern hemisphere our seasons are complete opposite. I actually forget about this briefly on an overseas trip in 2007 where I needed to change flights and *airports* in New York and spend 12 hours there and did not realise how effing cold it can get there. It was a shock to my system how cold it was and to see ice and snow at the airport. arggghhh.
Anyway that was more kind of funny because I never really gave much thought to my small stay in New York until i saw all the snow but it confirmed to me that someone from my state that is in the middle of our summer is going to find it very difficult to acclimatise to places where winter gets much colder than Australia such as Ukraine.
At times of the year a place in Ukraine may be 60 to 70 degrees colder than here. I happened to be getting to know a Ukraine girl in a month of August and even though we agreed to meet up I knew I had to delay it several more months until April or May so the difference in temparature was minimal. It would have been better to getting to know her online at the very end or start of year as I feel that perfect timing to meet up in person would be after about 3 or 4 months, not 8 or 9 months like we did.

I don't know if that is having a bearing on Moe posting but there may be much more to here than what he has been saying....... I just know climate difference was not a small issue to me when I wanted to visit but I spent a week in southern Ukraine when it was spring there and autumn here.

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by nocomfortzone

I don't know if that is having a bearing on Moe posting but there may be much more to here than what he has been saying....... I just know climate difference was not a small issue to me when I wanted to visit but I spent a week in southern Ukraine when it was spring there and autumn here.

Ok, I will give you credit on the weather thing, but not 3 days worth of credit. If its such a problem for moe, then why not delay the meeting for a couple of days when he arrives instead of meeting the first day and taking off for 3 days and coming back? The story sounds like

to me and to the Lady also and she just wants to step around it without getting her feet dirty.

Posted by: Spakoyna

I am sitting here wondering WTF is all this moaning about the weather? I thought you Aussies were a tough lot!

I live in the south, yea I considered the weather might be a challenge! But I sure a H didn't let it stop me from seeing my gal! I stayed in Siberia in the dead of the winter for 1 month. I believe the difference between Siberia/S. USA is a bit more dramatic than Aussie/Ukraine!

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

I am sitting here wondering WTF is all this moaning about the weather? I thought you Aussies were a tough lot!

I live in the south, yea I considered the weather might be a challenge! But I sure a H didn't let it stop me from seeing my gal! I stayed in Siberia in the dead of the winter for 1 month. I believe the difference between Siberia/S. USA is a bit more dramatic than Aussie/Ukraine!

Spak, what part of Siberia were you in? I plan on spending Christmas and New Years in Omsk. I am in Ohio, how much of a difference will there be?

Posted by: Spakoyna

I was in Novosibirsk...not too far from Omsk. LOL, depends on how mother nature feels! I was lucky, I believe the coldest it got was somewhere around -35. It can get a whole lot colder than that. The thing ya have to watch is for sudden changes in temp. When it gets real cold most people just stay inside.

The only time I had a problem with the weather was when we went to visit her family 1 time. It wasn't too cold...maybe 25 or so and not too windy when we left. I elected not to wear my long johns.(the worst thing about staying in the winter is the average temp. inside is a dry 85-90!) It was about a 10 minute walk from the bus,cab stop to their apartment. Well, we left about 10PM. In 5 hours time the temp had dropped to around -25 or so and the wind was kickin up. If there hadn't been a cab at the stop when we got there I would've been in trouble!

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucatz

Spak, what part of Siberia were you in? I plan on spending Christmas and New Years in Omsk. I am in Ohio, how much of a difference will there be?

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

I was in Novosibirsk...not too far from Omsk. LOL, depends on how mother nature feels! I was lucky, I believe the coldest it got was somewhere around -35. It can get a whole lot colder than that. The thing ya have to watch is for sudden changes in temp. When it gets real cold most people just stay inside.

The only time I had a problem with the weather was when we went to visit her family 1 time. It wasn't too cold...maybe 25 or so and not too windy when we left. I elected not to wear my long johns.(the worst thing about staying in the winter is the average temp. inside is a dry 85-90!) It was about a 10 minute walk from the bus,cab stop to their apartment. Well, we left about 10PM. In 5 hours time the temp had dropped to around -25 or so and the wind was kickin up. If there hadn't been a cab at the stop when we got there I would've been in trouble!

Wow! Inside temp is 85-90? That wasn't a typo was it? That would explain why my Lady kept turning off the AC in Egypt.

Posted by: freebird

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucatz

It sounds like hotrussianbride.com to me. They won't give out any personal contact info untill you have spent a certain amount of money with them, around $1500.

Is this a typo? Are you kidding? $1,500 - that is ridiculous!

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by freebird

Is this a typo? Are you kidding? $1,500 - that is ridiculous!

Nope, not a typo. Sad thing is, they tell you the only requirement up front is to be a paid member for 3 months. I was, and asked about the info on 2 women, they said that I had not purchased enuf credits yet. I added up the cost of all the credits they said I had to purchase and the 3 month membership and it was around $1500. Sad too, I was really getting close to one woman from Omsk, but when I found out the cost, I said my "good bye's" and left the site and went to Elena's where I met my current love.

Posted by: Spakoyna

LOL! Nope, no typo. The only thermostat is to open a window...they have citywide steam heat. By the time I got home my feet were so dry they had cracked all to pieces! The indoor heat was more difficult for me to aclimate to than the freezing outdoor cold!

Not too many Russians have AC. It took my wife a couple a years to get used to it and still will not tolerate air blowing on her. LOL, the last thing I expected was my lovely Siberian bride to be cold natured as H!

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucatz

Wow! Inside temp is 85-90? That wasn't a typo was it? That would explain why my Lady kept turning off the AC in Egypt.

Posted by: nocomfortzone

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

I am sitting here wondering WTF is all this moaning about the weather? I thought you Aussies were a tough lot!

lol when it comes to cold weather I'm hiding...lol

Quote:

I live in the south, yea I considered the weather might be a challenge! But I sure a H didn't let it stop me from seeing my gal! I stayed in Siberia in the dead of the winter for 1 month. I believe the difference between Siberia/S. USA is a bit more dramatic than Aussie/Ukraine!

ok, maybe I forgot to say the 60 to 70 degrees difference in celsius so to give you an idea that is like 110 degrees difference in farenheit for you guys in USA.

I know in the middle of our February it can be get up to as high as 45 degrees c here (113 F) and was even down to minus 28 one day according to my friend in Ukraine. If I feel anything below 10 degrees c I consider it very cold so unless it was going to be well above zero there I did not even consider going until later which I knew had to be in her spring time when it is heading towards summer there and heading to opposite of winter here. I honestly would never consider going to a place like Siberia unless it was summer time.

I admire you going to see your "gal" as you put it...lol in dead of winter but i have no idea how you handled that as I cannot imagine one can do much in that weather apart from cuddle up and hybernate...lol... if that is was you did cool. If the woman was already my partner in life maybe I would do the same but given I was exploring the possibility of a relationship with this girl I was not going to put myself in physical extreme conditions I'm not used to as then I would feel I could not concentrate on relaxing and getting to know her in person. I delayed it a few months till I knew when I was there I would feel comfortable physically getting around and sure enough I did. If I had my time again, I still would not go in the dead of winter. In fact if I had my time again I probably would not go at all but I'm glad I have gone because 1) I got to see another part of world for first time and 2) having meet her there are things I know that I could only speculate as potential problems for me with her as being right when I meet her so I'm not left wondering like I may of if I'd never gone at all.

Posted by: I/O

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucatz

Spak, what part of Siberia were you in? I plan on spending Christmas and New Years in Omsk. I am in Ohio, how much of a difference will there be?

Omsk can hit minus 35c or more but not often and it usually doesn't stay there for long. A few days at a time, then it warms up to a comfortable minus 20 or so. Positively sweltering.

Another poster hit it right on, the outside is one thing to deal with but it is actually more difficult to deal with the inside being so warm and no where to get away from it. I learned fast that woolly "Unders" are not the answer but more coats are. At least you can keep taking them off but if you get down to your trousers and shirt you can't really take much more off to cool down.

It depends a bit which part of Omsk you are staying in. If in the central area, the wind is usually not a big factor, but in the outer southern areas of the city it can be a pest waiting for a bus street side late at night. Gloves and a wool hat are a must.

This was shot in central about 5 in the afternoon @ about minus 7c (About 20F)

I/O

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by I/O

It depends a bit which part of Omsk you are staying in. If in the central area, the wind is usually not a big factor, but in the outer southern areas of the city it can be a pest waiting for a bus street side late at night. Gloves and a wool hat are a must.

Good thing my Lady has her own car, no bus stop waiting for me...LOL

Posted by: Legal

A hat ushanka, tooloop and valenki will work

and keep you warm in spite of low-temperature pranks of Russian Ded Moroz.

Olga (Legal's wife)

Posted by: Spakoyna

LOL! Actually we were out and about quite a bit! Really isn't to bad once ya get used to it! Just experience a different way of life!

BLU! Just a tip here! Start learning to walk flat-footed! Everywhere you go you will be walking on solid ice if you go in the winter! I got a kick outta watching the cars! Their traffic lights actually start blinking to let you know the light is about to turn green. The cars would start slowly spinning their tires before the light's turn green. If you wanna experience hair raising driving you will. It's nothing to be sailing along at 60 MPH on solid ice!

Quote:

Originally Posted by nocomfortzone

lol when it comes to cold weather I'm hiding...lol

ok, maybe I forgot to say the 60 to 70 degrees difference in celsius so to give you an idea that is like 110 degrees difference in farenheit for you guys in USA.

I know in the middle of our February it can be get up to as high as 45 degrees c here (113 F) and was even down to minus 28 one day according to my friend in Ukraine. If I feel anything below 10 degrees c I consider it very cold so unless it was going to be well above zero there I did not even consider going until later which I knew had to be in her spring time when it is heading towards summer there and heading to opposite of winter here. I honestly would never consider going to a place like Siberia unless it was summer time.

I admire you going to see your "gal" as you put it...lol in dead of winter but i have no idea how you handled that as I cannot imagine one can do much in that weather apart from cuddle up and hybernate...lol... if that is was you did cool. If the woman was already my partner in life maybe I would do the same but given I was exploring the possibility of a relationship with this girl I was not going to put myself in physical extreme conditions I'm not used to as then I would feel I could not concentrate on relaxing and getting to know her in person. I delayed it a few months till I knew when I was there I would feel comfortable physically getting around and sure enough I did. If I had my time again, I still would not go in the dead of winter. In fact if I had my time again I probably would not go at all but I'm glad I have gone because 1) I got to see another part of world for first time and 2) having meet her there are things I know that I could only speculate as potential problems for me with her as being right when I meet her so I'm not left wondering like I may of if I'd never gone at all.

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

If you wanna experience hair raising driving you will. It's nothing to be sailing along at 60 MPH on solid ice!

LOL...Sounds like SUV drivers here in the winter, they think they can run down the interstate at 70mph when the roads are nasty. "Hey, I have 4wd, I can go anywhere right?" Its actually 4 wheel slide.

Posted by: nocomfortzone

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

LOL! Actually we were out and about quite a bit! Really isn't to bad once ya get used to it! Just experience a different way of life!

Well, I'm all for experiencing a different way of life every now and again but the main intention of my trip was to meet this other person to explore a possible relationship potential between us a.nd I felt sure I did not want to combine experiencing and dealing with a vastly different climate at the same time. That could be left for possible other trips when my intention for travelling is to experience different climates and conditions. One day i want to experience places like Alaska, Sibera etc. As an aussie it would be so different

Posted by: Texas Proud

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chillidog

OK... I stand corrected... and agree with this post 100%....

And Chili is right... (my opinion)... you should NEVER meet someone without talking to them a good number of times first... just to get the lay of the land.. written communication can be staged even more than spoken... call and talk!!!

Posted by: Texas Proud

Nocomfort...

My point is that if he is going to go meet her 'soon'... then it is spring/summer in the Ukraine... and very pleasant...

I thought he said he was going for 10 days... well, not worth it going back to read again...

Either way.. WHERE is he going to get climatized? and with WHO? Why not 'there' and 'with her'?

Posted by: Moe123

For 30 days in Ukraine I was planning to meet at least 5 ladies and for that I would have had to travel half way around Ukraine. From Kiev to Poltava to Nikolaev to Kherson to Simferopol to Odessa and lugansk and back to Kiev to return to Australia. I was going to tell every woman something like what I said to the one lady in the top of the thread. I mentioned the same plan to another woman too. The first one I'm letting go because I can't afford to buy her ph number. The second one, I don't have her ph number either but at least I don't have to spend more money to communicate with her because she gave me her email address. And I sent her a message to ignor my plan because I am changing it. And I asked her for her ph number although she does not have much English. I have not got a reply from her yet. I'm waiting for that. I hope she replies soon because I really like her. In the meantime, yesterday I wrote snail mail to one who does speak Eng and asked her for her ph number too. So there are 2 women I really like right now. One more I might contact in a few days.

I am planning to go to Ukraine in September. There is no way I am going all the way up there again just for one unless I am 100% sure and confident she'll be mine and I can trust her. So from now till September I'll see what happens.

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moe123

For 30 days in Ukraine I was planning to meet at least 5 ladies and for that I would have had to travel half way around Ukraine. From Kiev to Poltava to Nikolaev to Kherson to Simferopol to Odessa and lugansk and back to Kiev to return to Australia. I was going to tell every woman something like what I said to the one lady in the top of the thread. I mentioned the same plan to another woman too. The first one I'm letting go because I can't afford to buy her ph number. The second one, I don't have her ph number either but at least I don't have to spend more money to communicate with her because she gave me her email address. And I sent her a message to ignor my plan because I am changing it. And I asked her for her ph number although she does not have much English. I have not got a reply from her yet. I'm waiting for that. I hope she replies soon because I really like her. In the meantime, yesterday I wrote snail mail to one who does speak Eng and asked her for her ph number too. So there are 2 women I really like right now. One more I might contact in a few days.

I am planning to go to Ukraine in September. There is no way I am going all the way up there again just for one unless I am 100% sure and confident she'll be mine and I can trust her. So from now till September I'll see what happens.

So basically the story you told the Lady and to us on this forum about you having to climatize yourself to the area you are going to and need some time to yourself is BS?

Posted by: I/O

Moe: It is necessary to play your cards very close to your chest if you are doing the visit many thing. As you can see, the "I need to do this..........line" doesn't work.

On another tack, you mentioned returning to Kiev in order to return to Aus. I've done this trip a few times and by far the most economical route I found was to travel Aus-Singapore-Istanbul-Odessa. It was also the fastest. Qantas partner with Turkish airlines so you can check baggage right through etc. Turkish is a good airline and Istanbul is a very good and simple airport to check through. You also have the choice out of Istanbul to fly in through Kiev and out through Odessa or VV. You might consider this in your planning.

During September, the weather will most likely be comfortable, I recall swimming in Odessa and getting very well sunburned (Ouch, cooked actually) during September, so I think you need to drop the climate adjustment line.

I understand what you are trying to achieve here and I don't see much wrong with that, but isn't it better to simply say, I am comming to visit you for 3 days and say nothing more. Don't give anything more away unless she/they really push and shove for it, in which case, you would know you have someone quite serious. The VM (Although I didn't like it much) is doable but silence is your self defence.

I/O

Posted by: Texas Proud

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucatz

So basically the story you told the Lady and to us on this forum about you having to climatize yourself to the area you are going to and need some time to yourself is BS?

Just like the first woman... we could see the BS... and I was surprised with even some agreeing that you have to spend time to 'climatize'...

Moe... I think you will not be successful if you are starting out lying to the ladies... eventually they will find out and you might be dropped quicker than a hot potato...

There have been many who has 'visited many'.... but some women do not like it at all, and some are OK with it... knowing that they want to meet you also... but I have not heard any who like to be lied to...

Schedule the lady for her 5 or 6 days consecutive... and then move on to the next...

Good luck in your search..

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud

Just like the first woman... we could see the BS... and I was surprised with even some agreeing that you have to spend time to 'climatize'...

Some of us agreed about climatizing but not about leaving and then coming back.

Not trying to sound nasty or anything but in every thread I have read and responded to of Moe's, and others we have bot taken part in, there is always a feeling that we haven't been told the bulk of the story or there is some strange idea of "reality" floating around in his posts.

Posted by: Moe123

Ozguy

I don't give the whole story because I need to be as brief as possible. I've got too much on my plate. Can't do too much reading and writing. Sorry.

Posted by: Texas Proud

OK.... since some seem to not remember the first post... I am adding bold..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moe123

Some days ago I told a woman I am in contact with, that I will come to visit her and would like to spend one whole day with her and then leave her for several days, and come back and stay with her for 10 days more if we like each other and want to build a future life together. She replied upset and said you want to go meet other women, to pick and choose maybe somebody other than me, I don't like that.

Fine... don't like it... that is your right... but as we have found out later.. she was right!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moe123

I did not tell her I intend to meet other women. But I think it is overbearing of her to assume such a thing. She admitted to me that she has male friends and yet she has the nerve to tell me I cannot have female friends in Ukraine. As she has not directly asked me whether or not I have female friends in Ukraine,

Again... another lie... you don't have female friends.... they are like her.. women you are writing to you wish to meet and see if things click.. and if they do you might marry.... so not a friend...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moe123

I am saying I need some time to adjust to the change of climate and environment of her country. Australia has a completely different climate to Ukraine. So same as RP and one or 2 other guys I am trying to get around any talk about other women.

BIG BS... again... after some more posts.... we KNOW he is not going anywhere to adjust... but going to MEET OTHER WOMEN...

I have traveled a lot internationally.... you can adjust in a day... I have been in warm (or hot) Texas and gone to a ski resort where it was below zero F.... but I was out skiing......

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moe123

Besides, I have found that according to the rules of dating a woman must not ask whether or not a man who is coming a very long way, is planning to meet others. So she is clearly in the wrong if she wants to go that way.

WOW... what can I say about this... rules? I did not know there were specific rules to follow... it is a relationship, just like any.... YOU make the rules YOU want and THEY make the rules THEY want... and hopefully they are similar so you can get along...

If you think that these women are 'meek' and will let you boss them around... you need to read more posts from the guys who are already married.... very few 'shrinking violets' in the crowd.... most of these are very strong headed women... most of them are very smart... and most can smell out someone who is not being truthful.... I would not be surprised if she drops Moe... or at least backs WAY off on her feelings and connection to him.... now, if they meet and they like each other AND he says you are the only one for me... maybe things will get back together...

And Mo... I know I am sounding nasty.... but I showed a number of lies that you made to US... and we don't care one way or the other... you just wanted to get someone to agree with you so you could justify what you were doing... sorry, I don't agree with you... so it is not that you are not giving the whole story... you are lying on the short amount you are giving....

Don't get me wrong... I hope you find what you are looking for... really...

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud

If you think that these women are 'meek' and will let you boss them around... you need to read more posts from the guys who are already married.... very few 'shrinking violets' in the crowd.... most of these are very strong headed women... most of them are very smart... and most can smell out someone who is not being truthful.... I would not be surprised if she drops Moe... or at least backs WAY off on her feelings and connection to him.... now, if they meet and they like each other AND he says you are the only one for me... maybe things will get back together...

OMG, you are so right about them being strong headed. And stubborn, once they make up their minds there is no changing it. You can't sling any amount of BS past my lady, she will spot it long before it leaves your hand.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

TP I don't agree with alot of what you say but I agree with your last big post, it was spot on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moe123

Ozguy

I don't give the whole story because I need to be as brief as possible. I've got too much on my plate. Can't do too much reading and writing. Sorry.

I know about having to much on a plate Moe so you aren't going to get sympathy from me with that line. The point is you don't tell what is really happening in many of your posts and in others you just come out with

If you haven't got the time to post the truth then you aint gonna have the time to develop a relationship. Its as simple as that, do you get it? I hope so

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by OzGuyLooking

TP I don't agree with alot of what you say but I agree with your last big post, it was spot on.
I know about having to much on a plate Moe so you aren't going to get sympathy from me with that line. The point is you don't tell what is really happening in many of your posts and in others you just come out with

If you haven't got the time to post the truth then you aint gonna have the time to develop a relationship. Its as simple as that, do you get it? I hope so

Good post OZ, I also don't agree with some of your posts, but this one I think you hit the nail square on the head.

Posted by: deccie

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucatz

Ain't that the truth. On the other hand I also find sometimes when I _do_ tell the truth that RW look at things in the worst possible light.

example...

I told K once when we were looking at going to France (we did go) that because it was a work trip for me there was always the chance it would be cancelled. Her reaction : "You don't want me there with you". It took HOURS of talking to get around that.

I have since found the only way to really avoid this is to book and pay for her airfare once we agree on travel dates. That seems to convince her I'm serious.

Posted by: Texas Proud

Quote:

Originally Posted by deccie

Ain't that the truth. On the other hand I also find sometimes when I _do_ tell the truth that RW look at things in the worst possible light.
.

OMG... spot on... and I am not even married yet... but there are many times I have to get on her case... and say STOP... STOP... STOP... why do you keep seeing things in the worst light... I think you should KNOW me by know and that there is NO way that what you are thinking is what I was saying...

BUT, for some reason... this is what we have to deal with... the good far outweighs the bad.... and I do hope that with time... those worst possible light thought will be less and less...

Posted by: deccie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud

The most difficult one for me was when I told K a female friend had come over for a chat. Now, this woman also works with me on the project, used to be my boss and there is nothing romantic between us.

After I told K of the visit she sms'ed the equivalent of "Was the sex good?"

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:

Originally Posted by deccie

After I told K of the visit she sms'ed the equivalent of "Was the sex good?"

And your answer was????? LOL

Posted by: Moe123

TexasP.

Did you say you're not married yet? And were you the one who said I should be completely honest and upfront with a woman I was talking about? If you're answer is yes to both questions then I have nothing to worry about. By the way, it wasn't me who said "I don't like that", it was her.

I agree honesty is the best policy but I don't think it applies to absolutely every situation in life.

Posted by: Moe123

Ozguy

You made me laugh. What you said about time to develop a relationship, does that have to do with the theory of relativity? Haha Lol.

Posted by: Texas Proud

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moe123

TexasP.

Did you say you're not married yet? And were you the one who said I should be completely honest and upfront with a woman I was talking about? If you're answer is yes to both questions then I have nothing to worry about. By the way, it wasn't me who said "I don't like that", it was her.

I agree honesty is the best policy but I don't think it applies to absolutely every situation in life.

Nope.. not married yet... she will be here shortly... and I did say you should be honest... don't know if I said 'completely honest and upfront'... go back and look

I don't know why this means you don't have anything to worry about... maybe you can explain....

I know it was her who said she did not like that.... she knew you were going to go see other women... and she did not like that...

You last statement is true... but there is not being honest to not hurt someone's feeling and there is not being honest to deceive... and example of the first is when your wife asks... 'does this make my butt look big'... well, very few husbands are 'honest'.... but there is a difference in that than say you are cheating on your wife and then say 'no honey, I am not cheating'....

Your was not as bad as the cheating question... but a lot closer to that one than the 'butt' question...

Posted by: deccie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud

You last statement is true... but there is not being honest to not hurt someone's feeling and there is not being honest to deceive... and example of the first is when your wife asks... 'does this make my butt look big'... well, very few husbands are 'honest'.... but there is a difference in that than say you are cheating on your wife and then say 'no honey, I am not cheating'....

Excellent point.

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud

So true. A woman who is willing to leave all that she has ever known for love or money (GTG/GCG), whatever she might be, she is certainly not a shrinking violet.

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by deccie

Ain't that the truth. On the other hand I also find sometimes when I _do_ tell the truth that RW look at things in the worst possible light.

Gentleman, based on my adventures in American dating, I would be loath to say this a trait exclusive to Russian women. In fact, I think this is gender thing, not a cultural thing.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moe123

Ozguy

You made me laugh. What you said about time to develop a relationship, does that have to do with the theory of relativity? Haha Lol.

I'm soooooooooooooooo happy I could get you to spare some time to have a chuckle. I'm also glad you could spare te time to post that post just for me. I suppose I should be honoured that you would take 30 seconds out of your day for me especially considering you wouldn't take a little more time to tell a lady you want to meet the truth.

Hmmmmmmm I feel like a group hug is in order, any takers?

Posted by: Moose55

Hey everyone. I am a stage 1 member myself how will be going to Ukraine myself soon. Some of you may remember a couple of my threads. Anyway one of the girls I was going to visit told me that she " is afraid that if I come visit her, I would also be meeting other girls". I figured I would do the right thing and tell her the truth. I haven't heard from her in a week, I used to hear from her every day(I know shes been on the computer because her profile says so). Anyway, after listening to lots of advice from several wise members here, I have decided to meet just 2 girls in Ukraine which will allow me to spend at least a week with each. I have talked with both girls on the phone and exchanged, email and text messages. I am convinced both a real and I really like both of them. With that in mind, if one of these 2 girls were to ask me if I was visiting other girls I don't think it is a good idea to tell the truth. I really like both of them but I have never met either of them before which is way different than talking by email or phone. I don't want to spend thousands of dollars to fly to Ukraine to meet just one girl and she has second thoughts and doesn't show or decides she doesn't like me and leaves me there all alone. My goal in going there is to hopefully find a girl that I can spend the rest of my life with. I don't see myself as a bad person for doing this I am just being realistic. I look at it like a blind date, it may work out, it may not, no promises are made prior to the meeting. If like one of them I plan on braking things off with the other one when I get back home. Any future trips will be to see only the one girl. Sorry my jumping in people, I just figured I would share my thoughts and what little experience I have. You members did this for me and were very helpful. Thanks.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Moose, how you eventually do it is a matter of personal choice, the important thing is you told the truth. If the lady had a problem with that then it is her problem. Just keep being up front about things and when asked don't lie about it.

Posted by: Raspberry

Quote:

Originally Posted by OzGuyLooking

Moose, how you eventually do it is a matter of personal choice, the important thing is you told the truth. If the lady had a problem with that then it is her problem. Just keep being up front about things and when asked don't lie about it.

I would have to agree with you this, OZ.

There is also the touristic angle......you spend all this money to go to a country, and then see NOTHING while you are there. The girl also has to consider the fact that you are a first-time visitor to her country.

Posted by: nocomfortzone

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud

Nocomfort...

My point is that if he is going to go meet her 'soon'... then it is spring/summer in the Ukraine... and very pleasant...

I thought he said he was going for 10 days... well, not worth it going back to read again...

Either way.. WHERE is he going to get climatized? and with WHO? Why not 'there' and 'with her'?

Yeah, on reading further it does look like he is not really upfront and honest and right now is ideal time to be going to Ukraine. It is winter here and summer there. June & July is nice to get away from the southern state winters in Australia and whatever warm or hot day in Ukraine is not going to be a shock for any aussie even if we are in middle of winter ourself. No need to aclimatise to any heat. I meant it would only be a factor in a Ukraine winter which is clearly not Moe situation. It does seem like he is not revealing all about this mysterious 10 days.....and I doubt any of us are buying the ******** he is now peddling.

Posted by: Texas Proud

Moose..

You can choose to do as you wish... but to my way of thinking... I was trying to find a partner... and I did not want to start out my relationship with a lie... any kind of what I will term 'major' lie...

I had some who I started to write and after a few letters would ask if I was writing others... I would say 'yes'... some broke it off then and there... I was fine with that... IF they think that after a few letters I am 'exclusive', then they are not the gal for me...

And even if you are going to visit... they know that most men actually DO go and visit many women... the two times I went on a first visit... both were surprised that I only came to visit them... I was very upfront with them... one did not believe me until I did not leave to go visit someone else... it took a week... so it is not a surprise that you would do as so many others do... so my advice is to either ignore the question... put it in the context you wrote (it is a blind date and we do not know how we will feel about each other... both YOU and me have to make a decision....) or just say that you are one of two I am visiting... my lady was upset when I said to her that I was visiting someone else 'first'..... but she 'understood' that I had been writing to her a lot longer and so she was my first choice at the time... but that I did have feeling for her and would like to pursue them IF the other lady did not work out.... well, they did not and so we did connect.... all is well in the end.. and we will have some 'interesting' stories to tell....

Then again... I am not a liar to begin with.... so I would be found out anyhow... it is much easier to remember the truth and not all the lies that you make up....

Posted by: Moe123

Texas

You and Oz and others here are way off track with me. Who said I lied? I did not say I lied to the girl. And I DID NOT LIE. If you look at the top of the thread I said "I am going to tell her about taking some time off to adjust to the change of weather". That was going to be my excuse, so as NOT to hurt her feelings. So it would have been a little white lie, the kind that you like. BUT, BUT, BUT... I did not go through with it. So I DID NOT LIE at all. So I wish you guys would stop accusing me of something I DID NOT do. And you're talking as if the girl is my wife or fiance, but we weren't that close, I hardly knew her. And I have since moved on, so please stop going on and on about it. And OZ, will you give me a break?

Posted by: Moe123

I/O

Thanks for the advice about going through Istanbul, but it's too late. I took the only fair I could get.

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moe123

Texas

You and Oz and others here are way off track with me. Who said I lied? I did not say I lied to the girl. And I DID NOT LIE. If you look at the top of the thread I said "I am going to tell her about taking some time off to adjust to the change of weather". That was going to be my excuse, so as NOT to hurt her feelings. So it would have been a little white lie, the kind that you like. BUT, BUT, BUT... I did not go through with it. So I DID NOT LIE at all. So I wish you guys would stop accusing me of something I DID NOT do. And you're talking as if the girl is my wife or fiance, but we weren't that close, I hardly knew her. And I have since moved on, so please stop going on and on about it. And OZ, will you give me a break?

Moe123,

I understand this tact, and telling a little "white lie" in order to not hurt a person's feelings whether we know them or not.

The thing to remember is this: when posting a good percentage of the time we are looking for other members inputs/opinions, thoughts. We as outsiders reading the posts can only give advice/opinions on what we are told. If you want good advice then a full disclosure of the facts (up to a point) is needed. Why tell "US" that you want to climatize, when the reason is to see other women?

What benifit did this give you? You got opinions and advice you did not like because it was based on false information provided by you!

NoOne would state that what you are doing is wrong if you originally stated-

"you wanted to meet her for a day or two, then meet a few other woman, and based on these meetings finish up your trip by spending time with the women you had the best connection with"

bad info=bad advice, or in this case trying to back track when called onto the carpet.

Live an learn, our only dog in any fight is to try and give advice, opinions that will lead to the success of every member whatever their goal maybe.

Posted by: EasyTarget

Moose55:
I totally understand your thoughts. I have been through exactly what you are talking about. Went to meet someone, things didn't work out...and then what am I supposed to do?

TxProud: had a good comment...it is a first meeting, although I am fully expecting the meeting to go well, there is always a possiblity it won't. After we meet and spend time together we can jointly decide how much time to spend together.
I wouldn't mention that I am meeting 8 women and your #6 on the list.

One woman I met had the best line I have ever heard. "I am not stupid, I know you will meet other women, or are going to meet other women. I don't want to hear or know about it. I want to believe I am special."

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moe123

And OZ, will you give me a break?

I'll be happy to give you a break, you need to remember we are working with the information you give us, so if you want an answer you'll be more comfortable with give us the reality of the situation as it is, not as it could have been, and then maybe you'll get more favourable comments. Also Moe remember everyone here is trying to give you some help if the advice we get from you isn't accurate then how could you expect to get reasonable help?

Posted by: Texas Proud

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moe123

Duly noted.... and I know she is not your wife or fiancee.... but I would have assumed if you were already at the stage of wanting to meet you had some feeling for her... so honesty is important...

Posted by: Moe123

Chilli
You said "Why tell "US" that you want to climatize, when the reason is to see other women?"

I said "As she has not directly asked me whether or not I have female friends in Ukraine, I am saying I need some time to adjust to the change of climate and environment of her country." What I meant by "I am saying" was - I intend to say. So it was just a plan that I did not carry out.

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moe123

You may have not out right said the lie, but, it was a lie of omition (sp). If if makes you feel better to tell yourself you didn't lie to the woman, good, glad you feel good about it

. But, the woman seen right thru your BS and so did all of us. You have got alot to learn if you think you can throw BS at a RW and think she will believe it.

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moe123

Chilli
You said "Why tell "US" that you want to climatize, when the reason is to see other women?"

I said "As she has not directly asked me whether or not I have female friends in Ukraine, I am saying I need some time to adjust to the change of climate and environment of her country." What I meant by "I am saying" was - I intend to say. So it was just a plan that I did not carry out.

Moe123,

No, what I was trying to get at is--- OK you told the woman you wanted to climatize---- No Problem, write that in your post here at RMP, but do not not try to make RMP membership believe this, it would have been better to write

"I told lady XYZ that I want to climatize, but what I am doing is meeting a few other women" "how do I go about still seeing this woman, because she did not beleive my line? or have I blown it with this woman and should now just concentrate on making sure the other women will still meet with me?"

"I need some help/advice, becuase I think I blew it"

this (or something similar) is what I would have written, to get some good input and advice. We all make mistakes why be afraid to write the truth and get some help or honest input regarding the situation.

When people wrote that something is fishy in Denmark, and did not beleive you what you wrote and felt there was more to the story, only then did you come out with what was going on.

I just do not know why you did not write this from the very beginning, just feels like you were protecting your male pride, there is no need for that. And would have saved yourself some aggravation with posts that you thought were out of line, but were in fact accurate based on the information provided at the time.

We all have made mistakes it is life, no-one can give constructive advice without the facts.