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Sitting on the bench for now
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Posted by: Chillidog

News is not good on the physical standpoint.

Without going into details this past Friday May 9th in the worst of luck, I have basicly torn up my left knee for the 2nd time in my life. I just recieved the bad news from the specialists, in a nutshell I have fully torn to partialy torn ligaments/tendons to the hamstring, thigh muscle and calf, also considerable damage to the cartilage what I have left in this knee. I go in for surgey on friday the 16th, at this time they expect me to have two very nice looking scars on both sides of my knee so I think my speedo wearing days are over.

Recovery minimum 3 months in a cast from top of thigh down including the foot, and expect at least 3 months of using crutches and possibly use of a walking stick for support afterwards.
My stomach does not handle pain killers well, so when I do take them I feel very nozious (sp?) and need to keep a bucket next to me, so I have resolved to just keep the Vodka flowing instead and may need to see 'AA' when all of this is over.

this sucks in more ways than one.

I have over the last 4 or so months becoming comfortable with a woman I write in Mariupol, she has not used any English since her school days, so taking the suggestion of Chrismc, I have been in contact with Manchester and for his wife to help us as a translator in our phone conversations to put the last pieces of the puzzle together to where I can feel comfortable and go into a meeting with the confidence that we have become friends, and for me whether we realize from the first 5 minutes we do or do not have the chemistry for a life long commitment does not matter, I am there to meet her and spend all my time with her regardless of the outcome as long as she wishes to do the same.
I have also begun some promising correspondence with a woman in Sumy and was hoping this communication would progress to the same level as the women from Mariupol and that instead of meeting just 1 women like I have on my 2 previous trips, I would meet 2 women spending at least 1 week with each in their home town. With the same attitude in Sumy as well.

In this trip, visiting 2 women would be my 'Plan B'. I say this because I do not travel with a so called plan B, that is finding a local agency to meet women if the original meeting does not go as hoped. I think my hopes may be much different than others.
I see the merit in this, but it is not me, not my personality. I try as best as I can to have a planned out itinerary for each day, it does not have to be much, maybe just visit museum A on this day, go bowling on this day and so on, and for the woman who I am meeting to know that in all these plans she is to be my partner/companion regardless if we have chemsitry, after our first meeting if it is her choice to not spend the week with me or any time after that, then that is when I will go to plan B, seek out a local agency, but for me, if I like this woman and have built some sort of freindship with her prior to meeting, then this is what is important and continuing to spend time with this person and to get to know her better is what I am looking and hoping for, a rash decision made on the first day based on a possible small red flag, or we did not have instant chemistry may cause a person to not get to know a truly wonderful woman that was nervous or takes time to warm up to a person or any other reasons. If I invested this much time and effort in correspondence I will see it to the end for good or bad.

But what truly now sucks is this/these meetings may never happen or if they do it does not appear it will happen this year.

Posted by: Chrismc

What a sickener Bob, how did it happen, well this blows a hole in your plans, maybe you use the time to get to know the two women better and try planning a trip end of the year/early next year so you know you will be fit by then.

Sorry to hear this Bob, but try and make the best of it if you can, I am sure if this/these women are genuine they will understand.

Chris

Posted by: Pin Boy

very sorry to hear about this. what the hell did you do to mess your knee up that badly?

pb

Posted by: Chillidog

Thanks Chris,

If this post sound a little in coherent it is because of the pain killers, my mood should be buzzed because it is kicking in and I am in lala land.

I hate opening my big mouth and with the Mariupol woman I my most recent letter I think I have just opened my mouth and inserted my foot. There were some other personal issues going on (which are just getting resolved) so when we first started writting I was up front with her and said becuase of these I did not know if I could travel before 2009 and if someone came to visit her before then and they hit it off I would most certainly understand, she wrote back that she understood and did not want to end correspondence and understood we had plenty of time to learn of each other. Well since things have settled down (basicly I have paid for my twin daughters college tuition to a couple of not cheap universities) but damn they are smart girls!!!!
I wrote her that I wanted to talk more with her on the phone, have spoken with her by phone already and was setting up with Manchester to handle any future 3-way calls we would need, and if we still were still interested in meeting with our phone conversations I was hoping that we could meet this coming September. Now I am going to look like a horses a** When I write what has happened and that September does not look good anymore I am going to look like a horses a**
If I were to state which woman was more my type I would say the Sumy woman, but at this point if I were to travel I would travel to meet the Mariupol woman. At this time if I wrote Sumy and told her we could not meet until 2009 I do not know what she would respond, if she wanted to end our correspondence, I would be fine with this, it would mean we are not meant to be and I would keep searching.
With Mariupol I see a lot of good things happening I think she does also and I would not be eager for this to end at this time.

to answer your question, weight lifting (squats) I had just lifted the wieght off the rack and was stepping back with my left leg there had to be something on the ground that I stepped on and caused my ankle roll, who knows??? and picture a knee being bent in the opposition direction than God had intended and the rest is history

Posted by: Pin Boy

ugh! rolling your ankle while squatting makes me cringe just reading it, never mind imagining it! very, very sorry man.

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pin Boy

ugh! rolling your ankle while squatting makes me cringe just reading it, never mind imagining it! very, very sorry man.

rolling the ankle was nothing!!!! now imagine your knee bending behind you instead of in front of you!!!! Just watch a Jean Claude VanDam movie where he breaks a guys elbow and this was my knee

Posted by: Sparky114

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chillidog

rolling the ankle was nothing!!!! now imagine your knee bending behind you instead of in front of you!!!! Just watch a Jean Claude VanDam movie where he breaks a guys elbow and this was my knee

Hi Chilli

Did the exact same thing last year (although not lifting weights more along the lines of running for a london bus tripped stood on somthing over i went and as you said the rest is history)

I had some treatment in the way of heat and manipulation from a specialist sports injury doctor and then they fitted me with a Knee brace and i was up walking ok in 2 months (seek out a good sports injury doctor worth their weight in gold) i am sure they could help you get back up on your feet.

I hope this gives you some hope as i know the exact pain you are going through

Best of luck and keep us informed

Mark

Posted by: royalpalace774

Hey Chilli, what a bummer. I just read your stuff & I don't know what to say. I hope things go your way. You have to take care of yourself 1st before you do anything, so I wish you the best.

Posted by: clark

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chillidog

rolling the ankle was nothing!!!! now imagine your knee bending behind you instead of in front of you!!!! Just watch a Jean Claude VanDam movie where he breaks a guys elbow and this was my knee

Wow, that sucks. I too have had the torn ACLs

Posted by: sidney

Chili what luck. Hope you get up and running soon. Did you consider travel during recovery if you're off work. Probably wouldn't be comfortable but I'm sure doable once you get used to the cast.
Sid

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Hi Chilli, I feel for you, the only positive I can think of is the idea of drinking to dull the pain, in moderation of course. Let us know how you go ok.

As for the ladies you are communicating with, like you say if its meant to be its meant to be. I sincerely hope things turn out with either lady as you would want it to, and I also hope you have a speedy recovery.

I think sparky's idea is a good one, try and seek out a good sports injury specialist if you can as they can, and do, do wonders.

Posted by: Chillidog

to not go to deep into history, (but to give you some background) because it looks cheap (as per the character of the person to name drop)
I have affliations from my youth with a sports team, I blew out this same knee (and their specialists performed this surgery). One of the specilists that will be performing the surgey is known and regarded highly by affliations maintained from my youth so I feel I am in pretty good care. unfortunately it looks like this surgery will be more then re-attaching some torn ligaments and tendons, basicly I really screwed the pooch on this one. I wonder right now if they are trying to scare me to death or prepare me for reality? to give you a fraction of what I was told, being able to walk with just a cane in 6-12 months will be a small miracle and maybe be that is all that can be expected for my future

the concern of course is money for now as a union electrictian I will recieve disabilty which will cover my mortgage but not much else, and also now is the bigger picture, I do not fear as a person even if I walk with a limp that this would keep a woman from loving me, but what if I can't work, how does a women love me then???? I am not afraid of being alone, it is I just don't want to be alone!!!!
In reality I feel really empty inside at this time, I know that only time can answer my questions, but right now it really sucks!

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Chilli, I am wondering what to say thats not gonna sound like cliche or look really sucky. The reality is if a women is not willing to be with you how you are then she is not worth being with. We are expected to take them as they are so they should take us how we are. I realise that's probably not much help atm.

I don't know the situation in America, yes something I don't know lol, but here in Australia the government expects you to retrain or diversify into something that you would be able to do. Its just a thought for you, but maybe when you are in recovery mode you could do some research about retraining for other jobs within the electrical industry that you can use your knowledge in.

Posted by: Buckeye5704

Damn Bob! I don't know where to even start. I guess I'll just have to pray for a bigger miracle for you and get you on your feet sooner. I'll be thinking of you and praying for the right help to arrive at the right time.

Posted by: I/O

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chillidog

the concern of course is money

Chilli: This whole thing is a real schit, but.........more later. For the moment, although it is never a fun subject, the above will be the thing which will tip your persuit one way or another. The reality is, this is a damned expensive hobby so to say. It's been said before, the FSU or any part thereof is about the most fertile singles bar anywhere but it will cost you 3K to walk in the door. Humour though it is, it's not far wide of the mark and that's only the begining...very much only the begining. Many guys will speak of how little it cost them in the end and I've no doubt they tell the truth, however it is fraught with hazards to go into this on a tight budget. How you do this thing is entirely your business, but sanity says you should get your finances sorted before rather than trying to do it mid flight.

As for acception or rejection because of an explainable injury, I'd write that down as a small inconvenience and not more. To share a little. Some 3 years ago, I'd had a handful of very brief communications with a Russian woman when I discovered what appeared to be a skin cancer on my face. Without sounding like an alarmist, with skin cancer being the huge problem it is down here and having recently lost a very dear friend to skin cancer, I hit the eject button, wrote to her, explained the situation and told her all bets were off at least until I knew for certain the prognosis and most likely the bets were off period. Her response was typically her, pretty blunt....."What kind of friend you thinking I is? You stupid? I is friend when all is good and when all is not good, you will write me when the doctors tell exactly what is your health"!!

As it turned out, the mark was easily removed, it was not as first suspected and that woman is now sitting about 6 feet from me, writing a letter to a friend back home in Russia.

The point is, is a busted knee going to take you out of the game? If you think so, you way underestimate Slavic women. Will it reduce the number in your pool of choices? Yes of course, that is only realistic. Does it mean you will not have a blinding array of very fine options? Of course it does not. You may have to reposition, you may need to take time out, you may even need to re aim. So what? If those who claim the world will end tomorrow are correct, you won't need to worry and in the other case, you have time. I'd urge you to simply focus on getting your health and then finances sorted before seriously attempting travel to the east and or bringing a woman into your life back home who will need the attention of a small baby for the first months.

I/O

Posted by: Raspberry

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chillidog

.....this sucks in more ways than one.

I have no reason to moan about my trip, after hearing this. Despite all the crap that went on in mine, at least I got to go.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

What a sickener Bob, how did it happen, well this blows a hole in your plans, maybe you use the time to get to know the two women better and try planning a trip end of the year/early next year so you know you will be fit by then.

That's pretty much all you can do. But it gives you something to look forward to, and an incentive to keep pushing on---if not physically, at least emotionally.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chillidog

My stomach does not handle pain killers well, so when I do take them I feel very nozious (sp?) and need to keep a bucket next to me, so I have resolved to just keep the Vodka flowing instead and may need to see 'AA' when all of this is over.

Kind of ironic, just like me, that liquor seems to work a lot better than pain killers.......Vodka, Brandy, etc. does a lot less damage to the stomach than Vicodin.

Posted by: Chillidog

First I want to thank everyone for your comments and support. Looking back on my last 2 posts I want to also "Apologize" for allowing myself to swim in a 'pity pool' and and feeling sorry for myself. This is not the person I am and sincerely apologize for expressing these thoughts in this thread. I do not think this was my intention when I started this thread (now I am not sure) I just wanted to really let you all know I had run into a stumbling block, but I was not out of the game.

My ex-wife paid me a visit due to concerns by my daughters, and in this 2-3 hour visit I realized again why I had married her and why we are now divorced. she again helped me realize that whenever I have been told I could not do something, I worked my a** off and was hell bent to prove them wrong. She also said she had asked and hoped that I would change somethings when we were married, but now that we are divorced she said she would "go to hell" before she allowed me to become something I am not and would make sure that I stayed the "same Damned Stubborn A**hole I have always been". Nothing like a woman to be able to attack/defend you all in the same breath! I wish I had tape recorded her speech/scolding/pep talk because I am sure there will be a time or two in the coming months I will need to hear these same words again!

I/O, I have made this trip a couple of times, and understand a little of the expenses of this all, this injury does but it in a different light for now, I apreciate your post, it's intent, you have no way of knowing if I am one of those who need a slap of reality, so again thanks

I think I am going to ask the Admin, to "close' this thread because I really did not intend to express self pity and I am ashamed of myself for doing this. Before I do I want to express my personal thanks to Chrismc, for your help, advice, suggestions and support in the short time I have been a member, and I think mostly for your thread 'Back searching again' it shows all of us that we should never give up on our dreams, and to OzGuyLooking, for your words and support in this thread, but even more so for your words and wisdom in Private messages, you also deserve the life and happiness you have wished me, as does everyone else

Thank you all again

Bob

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bob

I think I am going to ask the Admin, to "close' this thread because I really did not intend to express self pity and I am ashamed of myself for doing this. Before I do I want to express my personal thanks to Chrismc, for your help, advice, suggestions and support in the short time I have been a member, and I think mostly for your thread 'Back searching again' it shows all of us that we should never give up on our dreams,

Bob

Don't be ashamed of anything, if you ever need to talk you know where I am, don't make any hasty decisions just now, it is not the time to do so, keep your chin up and wait for a proper diagnosis of the problems, then you can make a better informed decision about what to do and what is right for you.

Above all, keep in touch with the folks here, even though most of us only know each other in cyber space, sometimes that helps more than we realise!

You are a good guy Bob, I now that from the emails we have exchanged over the last few weeks, there is a lady out there for you, it may even be one of the two you are communicating with now, so don't write off things just now, you never know what may happen, I know this looks really bad from where you are just now, but, sometimes things work out better than we expect and pleasantly surprise us.

Chris

Posted by: AkMike

I've blown out both of my knees and the left is ready for an overhaul again. Mostly ACL and meniscus with mine. I hope you get a good cutter like I've had. They do neat stuff now days.
It sounds like the handwriting is on the wall for you.. You body is saying to slow down! Listen carefully!

Posted by: waiting123

Thread closed at members request! thanks for your thoughts on this thread