In your opinion, what is RMP there for? - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

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In your opinion, what is RMP there for?
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Posted by: GoeastLJ

What is RMP there for? Is it for advice or to make people feel happy at all costs? We can make people feel happy without actually giving them any useful advice that would make their future endeavours better.

There are times when members put their situation here for others to give advice while some write just to let others know of their experiences.

IMHO, members would learn more if we were all free to express their opinions, as long as they at all times keep away from personal attacks or any sensitive issues.

If a member asks for an opinion, why should we not give it if we feel we have something to contribute? I am sure each one of us is adult enough to know when to close the thread without relying on the Big Brothers to rush in with lock and key.

I have heard it mentioned several times that this is not for the faint hearted.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

GREAT QUESTION!!!! Should be an interesting thread. I hope it takes off with a lot of good responses.

Thanks for the post GoEastLJ!

Posted by: Pin Boy

what is your point or direct question? seems like you're talking in circles. are there any current specific threads to which you're referring? do you feel censored on this forum? what threads have been locked by "big brother?" are there locked threads you would like to see reopened? if you offer an opinion and a counter opinion is offered does that mean yours is not valid or wanted? i don't get what you're getting at. say what you mean.

pb

Posted by: Pin Boy

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoeastLJ

IMHO, members would learn more if we were all free to express their opinions, as long as they at all times keep away from personal attacks or any sensitive issues.

who is not free to express their opinions? "IF (my capital letters, pb) we were all free"????

pin boy

Posted by: freebird

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoeastLJ

If a member asks for an opinion, why should we not give it if we feel we have something to contribute? I am sure each one of us is adult enough to know when to close the thread without relying on the Big Brothers to rush in with lock and key.

I have heard it mentioned several times that this is not for the faint hearted.

True enough, but as PinBoy says, is that not the way it is now? the Mods do not usually lock a thread unless it really gets out of hand.

Was there a thread that was locked down recently?

Posted by: GoeastLJ

Can this question not be asked without there having been a trigger?

I do feel there are times when HARD advice is not encouraged. OK, may be it is my perception, but that does not make this question inappropriate.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Maybe people interpreted this question as having bad conatations, saying RMP is controlled by "Big Brother" and locking threads "willy nilly".

I interpreted it as saying what made you come and stay with RMP. What do you like about it? What don't you like about it? Is it helpful? Is it informative? ... and so on.

Posted by: max_1

Well - RMP seemed for me interesting

but I may say that on the Danish part there is no censorship, its really not a comfortable place to ask for help or post ideas.
So for me as new user, I decided to leave the place again - maybe later (in another profile) use the UK site as it seems like there are lots more using it.

I feel a bit sorry, that some people can't just use this on a positive way. The idea is really cool and there are many interesting informations to get here. And gosh how you people gives some nice answers.

Thanks

Posted by: Pin Boy

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoeastLJ

Can this question not be asked without there having been a trigger?

I do feel there are times when HARD advice is not encouraged. OK, may be it is my perception, but that does not make this question inappropriate.

who said it was inappropriate? what times are you referring to? how can members discuss your post when you are so vague about it?

pin boy

Posted by: blucatz

My thought is, If you ask for the advice you should be prepared to receive it no matter what it is or how hard it is. If you are a sensitive person and wants everything sugar coated, I do believe you are in the wrong place. Just my 2 rubles worth.

21 Days to Moscow

Posted by: BluesTraveler

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucatz

If you are a sensitive person and wants everything sugar coated, I do believe you are in the wrong place.

If you are sensitive and want things sugar coated....you shouldn't date a Russian woman. Because as soon as you step over the line. Yikes!

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by BluesTraveler

If you are sensitive and want things sugar coated....you shouldn't date a Russian woman. Because as soon as you step over the line. Yikes!

HE HE HE ... your right ... BOTH barrels!

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by BluesTraveler

If you are sensitive and want things sugar coated....you shouldn't date a Russian woman. Because as soon as you step over the line. Yikes!

I love it when a woman is direct and honest, no BS please

, just tell me whats on your mind and let the chips fall where they may.

I really hate things that are sugar coated anyway.

21 Days to Moscow

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

IMHO the RMP is here so that people who are in the "Russian Bride" scene can get good information and support, note support doesn't mean sugar coating but giving appropriate advice when it is needed.

Threads get locked down all the time in this place and yes one has been locked down recently. One of the BIG PROBLEMS on the RMP is people cannot have a constructive discussion without resorting to personal insults, this includes MODS.

Another problem here is there are to many experts who in all reality have no expertise what so ever. The people with the real knowledge have left or visit infrequently, and I am not referring to certain Aussies although MarkGM was a wealth of info if you were in a clique but instead to people like Jill, Inlove, Kathy etc. who have REAL LIFE experience of things FSU. Realistically visiting the FSU a couple of times does not make you an expert, it does mean you can offer others limited advice but it doesn't make you an expert.

Also the RMP is to cliquey (sp?) and full of testosterone. This is a site that should encourage both men and women to take part yet how many guy's wives share their knowledge here now, I can think of Olga (Legal's Wife), occasionally Tatysik, and less occasionally Lena.

These are just my thoughts about it atm.

Posted by: I/O

Quote:

Originally Posted by OzGuyLooking

MarkGM was a wealth of info if you were in a clique

I don't think I was ever considered to be in Mark's "Clique", however he did provide me with certain valuable information (Privately). Although I didn't actually need to use it, I remain grateful for the gesture.

I/O

Posted by: JohnnyLaRue

For info and learning. To share experiences (good & bad).

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:

Originally Posted by I/O

I never said it was Marks Clique, but he was certainly part of one that others were not.

Posted by: I/O

Quote:

Originally Posted by OzGuyLooking

I never said it was Marks Clique, but he was certainly part of one that others were not.

Prolly best left wherever it laid itself to rest.

I/O

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:

Originally Posted by I/O

Prolly best left wherever it laid itself to rest.

I/O

It don't worry me, I really don't care, I'll chat about anything.

Posted by: GoeastLJ

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pin Boy

who said it was inappropriate? what times are you referring to? how can members discuss your post when you are so vague about it?

pin boy

PB, I don't think this is vague, at all. This is an open invitation for people to air their views. I deliberately started this thread in the way I did because I do not want to refer to specific instances. If there is no issue, then members will have nothing to discuss.

Shouldn't you just give your opinion and let it at that????

Posted by: Pin Boy

i'm not allowed to ask questions if something is not clear to me? how can I give my opinion if i'm not sure of the question?

pb

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

GoEast, your question was fine, not vague at all and worded in such a way that anyone can say whats on there mind.

Posted by: Spakoyna

I understand that Kashyar intends to do a documentary on the trials and tribulations of meeting and marrying an FSU woman. Also perhaps come up with a better,updated version of Elena's book(possibly in film form).

What better way to gather information and ideas than providing an open forum for people all over the world to discuss everything from A to Z?

Posted by: GoeastLJ

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pin Boy

i'm not allowed to ask questions if something is not clear to me? how can I give my opinion if i'm not sure of the question?

pb

Thank you, OzGuyLooking

PB, let me address the questions from your first post:

Q: what is your point or direct question?
A: General

Q: seems like you're talking in circles. are there any current specific threads to which you're referring?
A: Not in circles - I am trying to give some background and clarity.

Q: do you feel censored on this forum?
A: Not censored but somewhat constricted - but this is a personal feeling and I don't want to give any examples

Q: what threads have been locked by "big brother?"
A: Don't know - I have reread my post and I cannot find any reference to having mentioned a thread locked by "big brother". I do acknowledge implying.

Q: are there locked threads you would like to see reopened?
A: No, but there are times when I would have wished the initiators (rather than the Moderators) of the threads to call an end to the debate, unless the debate is getting out of hand (no, I don't want to give example)

Q: if you offer an opinion and a counter opinion is offered does that mean yours is not valid or wanted?
A: Not necessarily. An opinion is an opinion and everyone has got one.

Q: (implied): i don't get what you're getting at. say what you mean.
A: I hope it is clear from above comments

Q: who is not free to express their opinions? "IF (my capital letters, pb) we were all free"????
A: If I feel giving my true opinion will make me sound like a bad guy, I may not give the right opinion if I want to be part of the club (I always give my true opinion, btw). It's like "The Emperor's New Clothes".

Posted by: nocomfortzone

It seems fairly self explanatory. It is a meeting place in cyberspace to discuss things mainly about and related to Russia. This could be information, experiences, opinions, jokes and just general thoughts. I just discovered right here, where I could relive some of the 1980 Olympics ceremonies I saw as a kid.

The originator I'm fairly sure had all this in mind. I know the main topics are about relationships but there is much more here than that if you care to explore... just as is the same with the whole melting pot of the internet.

Posted by: Pin Boy

go east...there you go again round and round referring to a supposed "club" and preferring not to give examples when you obviously have specifics in mind. i'm not getting this whole exercise and am going to not revisit this non discussion.

pb

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Sheez PB give it a break. Your the only one who has posted so far in this thread and doesn't get it, its pretty clear what the OP is asking and it seems clear that your just having a bad time lately and ready to pick at anything outside your scope.

Why don't you PM GoEast if you really want to delve into the nitty gritty of the "bad things" you are wanting answers to, it is obvious GoEast doesn't want to get into a heated debate here and now in public so why don't you take it private.

Posted by: Buckeye5704

When I first began my search for a RW, this site was recomended at EM's where I found the first bits of info and insights on the subject. When I begin a new thing I want to know as much as I can about it so that I can have a reasonably intelligent conversation with, in this case, the object of my desire. I get hungry for information and gobble up everything I can find for weeks or months and RMP has kept me very well fed.

After following the link here and registering I began to get comfortable right away. I could see that RMP is more than anything a big family (complete with sibling rivalries). Perhaps community (complete with curmugeons) would describe it well too. I have stayed because the advise given is generally honest and well meant. Even though I have received advise I wasn't looking for, at times, I still value it because it comes from people who (I think) mean well.

Every family has it's fights and this one is no different. But still, this is one of the better forums I've hung around and the bickering is really kept to a minimum while the flow of valuable info and help to newbies like me is steady and well placed.

So, to summarize, RMP is a resource and a community. It is a place we can come to for information, a hug, a friendly jab and a laugh and yes the occaissional snipe, but it's still a nice town to visit often.

Ok, soapbox back to middle of room now.

Posted by: vic2012

I joined RMP the same weekend that, I mailed intros to ten FSU women. And I was completely in the dark as to what to do if things started to take off.

I found this site a real source of information, with many knowledgeable members dating back from 2003 and 2004 contributing. No question, I really found the information invaluable. You ask a question, you get a dozen replies and you take your pick.

There have been a few weirdos, some knowitalls, and a few wishful thinkers acting out their fantacies, but generally, everyone has been there to help everyone else.

We�ve also been very happy when another member hits the jackpot! It has given impetus to those who are not having the best of luck. Chris, Goeast and Justjohn prove the point.
Yes we could have done it on our own, but there�s nothing like getting backup from others in the same situation. Especially when those closest to you (family members) think you�re got a screw loose when you talk of marrying some women from Siberia or Khazakstan, or some other godforsaken place thousands of miles from home!

And when you�re writing up a trip report, who doesn�t like opening RMP to see who�s left comments and finding messages from members urging you to tell more!

And now that, the earlier intake of members have moved on, there�s a new batch ready to take up the mantle.

I got what I wanted from RMP and I�m sure many others will too.

Posted by: GoeastLJ

RMP is very therapeutic. The sort information here is something you hope to get when you google trying to get insight into the Western-FSU relationship.

Here is what I like most - the sensitivity of the members to gauge when somebody likes to hear sympathy rather than hard advice. There are times when members ask for advice or for a mere listening ear and the members here have been very supportive.

The sticky situation comes when you read about a member's progress and you feel they are not going anywhere very very quickly. I think the collective wisdom here has been right in 99% of the cases - when members here say red flag, it turns out red in the end.

Posted by: azamuner

This site has a plethora of invaluable information for anyone considering pursuing a relationship with a FSU woman. Sure there are disagreements and pissing contests from time to time but you will find that on any forum, I guarantee it.

I try to visit this site every day as there is always something new I might learn, pitfalls and how to avoid them, and to see successful searches. I for one, hope this site will be around for a long time and that people will continue to contribute information.

There has been some censorship in the past but I think it has gotten better and people can pretty much say whatever they want as long as it is not a personal attack on ones character.

Posted by: vic2012

Goeast, this is an interesting thread. On reflection I think that the worst thing about RMP is also its best characteristic. It�s a forum. Unfortunately, it does allow uneducated, anonymous people to set themselves up as psychoanalysts. And I�ve seen some new members come in for a bit of a pounding. (and by uneducated, I mean in the field of psychology)
The problem is that, when you read a thread that starts: I have been corresponding with a woman for a month and she says that, she is getting a tourist visa to come and visit me�.
there is almost an embarrassing haste to pile in and scream Scam! Quite right, but many questions are not so clear cut. And I feel that sometimes new members get browbeaten and almost instructed to �leave well alone�, �get out of there�. etc., when the true and full circumstances are not actually known. I think that, the wall of negativity that often builds up on some threads, can actually break relationships which might just be going through a difficult phase.

The best part is, as I said before. You ask a question, you get replies, you take your pick. And most members are at pains to help others.

And I add my birthday greetings to ConnorVT. Yes, he is missed on this forum.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:

Originally Posted by azamuner

There has been some censorship in the past but I think it has gotten better and people can pretty much say whatever they want as long as it is not a personal attack on ones character.

Not being picky but picking at ones character seems to be allowed on the RMP.

Posted by: too_tall

I have received a little "tough love" and advice that I didn't ask for. I didn't let it bother me (for the most part). Most of the advice that was sent to me was positive and supportive.

If you don't have a fairly thick skin then getting involved with an RW might not be a good idea.

I am glad that this forum has corrected some of the technical problems.

Just my two kopecks,

Bill

Posted by: zaniac

I think for anyone who wants to correspond and meet a potential partner from the FSU, the RMP works well as a resource and as a community. This to me, is the concept of the site. To give advice, information and to encourage users to share their experiences and interact with each other.

The forums work well. I think people are allowed to give advice or make comments with reasonable freedom. I know I had a comment stamped on by a mod a long time ago. However, as long as you think about the consequences of a comment before posting something, then I don't think there is need to worry.

If users could restrain themselves from entering a slagging match that would be great, but not everyone is like this. The mods do a fair job in preventing constructive threads turning into pointless slagging matches. It's when the comments become personal attacks that the threads lose their value.

If people seriously think the mods are over-the-top in their lockings etc, maybe someone should create a constructive poll listing various reason why or why they don't think the mods are too heavy handed. I don't know, but at least the owners/mods can view the stats for themselves.

Posted by: salvatore

When I first found this forum I thought it was fantastic. I was totally hooked. I read as much as I could and would stay up all night on occasion because I could not stop reading.
I found that when any of my questions were posted there were plenty of people trying to help me find answers.
As far as the mods go I have never had or currently have any problems with them. I remember there were some complaints that they were too politically correct. While I am not politically correct in my personal life and am not easy to offend, I thought they had to be this way and should not have been criticized. There are so many different types of people here that it would have been easy to alienate people and defeat the purpose of this forum if certain things went unchecked.
The problem I have with this site these days is the tone has changed dramatically. To post any experience or travel report opens yourself up to such an attack that it is daunting.
I have seen attacks on posters personality, place of residence, choice of vocabulary, you name it. I have even seen posters attacked for being too positive!
To use any forum on the internet requires thick skin. There is no doubt about that. But there was a time when this forum was helpful. I find it less so these days. When I read some posts that might be of interest to me or that I might get some good info from, I usually end up frustrated because of the attacks or negativity. It could be said that even the negative ones are just trying to be helpful but going the wrong way about it. I would disagree with this in most cases. In most cases I think that there are people on this forum waiting for any chance to shoot somebody down but go about it in such a roundabout way that they can defend themselves by saying that they are just trying to help or play devil's advocate.
I will say that none of these things happened to me when I have posted in the past. BUt that is because I have not posted much in the last 6 months. So I have been able to remain immune since when I was posting regularly the forum was much more civil.
I have some stories from my recent experiences that might help some members and even have a need for some advice, but I will not be putting myself out there.
I dont have any specific examples nor will I provide any. I think reading a few of the threads will give plenty of examples without the need for me to point them out.

Posted by: EasyTarget

Sal:
I totally understand what you are saying. And you are right that the tone / feel of the forum has changed over time. Natural progression is bound to happen. And I think many people are like you and they don't want to post because they don't want to be attacked -- when they just want advice.

Maybe the forum has gotten better in the last month or two; maybe not. If you want to share / get some advice, hopefully you will feel that you can. We all have something to learn from each other.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Hi Sal,

I've known you since you've joined this forum and we have sent each other Personal Messages (PM) in the past. If you have questions but don't want to write them here, then please ask someone by writing a PM. I would hate for you to travel overseas and have questions. So please send me or someone else a PM with your questions.

Maybe the tone of this place has changed but there are still a lot of members that what to help.

Take care and happy landings!

Posted by: salvatore

There are still good people on this forum. I dont mean to throw everybody under the bus.
Check your mailbox by the way

Posted by: AkMike

I'll echo GTR's offer. There's alot of good folks still here. Just ask any questions you have and we'll try to give the correct answers.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by salvatore

There are still good people on this forum. I dont mean to throw everybody under the bus.
Check your mailbox by the way

I checked, no mail. My name is GoingToRussia, maybe you typed GTR?