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Posted by: JohnnyLaRue

Read damn near every post on here over the last 2-3 months and figured this forum seemed honest and nice enough to start asking questions.

In my late 20's and was married once (to an American) long story short came home one night to find her and her things gone, all joint bank accts cleaned out and an eviction notice the next morning due to unpaid rent for the last 5 months or so. Add in the massive debt and well you get the pic.

Done the dating thing for 7 years or so now and no such luck. I just don't seem to mesh well with Western women. All but one of my female friends are Western.

I've done international relationships as well and met both in their own country and they met me in mine (one with a Japanese and one with a Brazilian) but those never panned out. The Japanese chick was similar to some stories on here in the sense that she just fell off the face of the earth but I found out she was dating another guy and never had the decency to break up with me. The Brazilian and I were not compatible. I mention all of this since I am familiar with the international relationship experience and well traveled.

I'm intrigued by the whole FSU women thing and my only experience was an old FSU girlfriend but it was one of those if it was a different place and different time things. On the negative side I did have a Russian friend I met in person during my overseas travels. I got along with him great but then during emails he gives me the typical scamming sob story and wanted me to Western Union him $2000 (I politely said no and he never emailed me again). So needless to say I am concerned about the scamming aspect.

On to my questions/concerns and I apologize if these have been asked before but I have not seen them asked on here.

- Am I too young? Most members here are well into their 30's.

- I am very laid back but also driven/strong work ethic will my laid back attitude mesh with FSU women?

- I am not religious and reject organized religion (but I am VERY tolerant and respectful of anyone who choses to practice). Will that be a problem?

- I do not want kids. Will this be an issue?

- Would a FSU women be very insulted with a Pre-nup? I say this since I was cleaned out before and now that I run my own business and built myself back up I can not afford to lose that (and my retirement portfolio) IF a divorce occured. I'm probably 10 years away from retiring and would be miserable if I was stuck working into my 60's.

- I've seen topics on clothing and to be honest I am a jeans/shorts and shirt guy. I'm not sloppy by any means but I don't dress up. I've never felt a suit and tie magically makes someone a better person.

- What advice would you give someone who is starting out?

Lastly, I did put a profile on Cindys Agency just to see what is out there and get a feel for this. I felt if I was uncomfortable or this was not for me it would be easy to politely break it off before things got out of hand. Have yet to get a reply from them though.

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

- Am I too young? Most members here are well into their 30's..

Not really, but will have a more difficult time in attracting an honest woman or have an older one take you seriously.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

I do not want kids. Will this be an issue?.

Could be, although maybe not so much with the "very young" crowd. Most FSU women, I would say about 80% of them, do want kids and think its a natural bond between a man and a woman. So you not wanting kids could pose a problem.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

Would a FSU women be very insulted with a Pre-nup? I say this since I was cleaned out before and now that I run my own business and built myself back up I can not afford to lose that (and my retirement portfolio) IF a divorce occured. I'm probably 10 years away from retiring and would be miserable if I was stuck working into my 60's. .

I can only answer this one from my experience in dealing with FSU women. Probably some would take the idea of a prenup as a severe insult. Unlike western women, when you break up with a FSU women, she will not clean your clock and leave you empty. They have too much pride for that. Of all the breakups from a FSU woman I have heard about, at no time did the woman clean the man out. She just packed her things she brought with her and left. Now that doesnt mean that if you are married to her for a long number of years that she will be influenced by her new western friends and clean you out anyway because thats what she see's happening with her friends, but, generally they will just leave.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

I've seen topics on clothing and to be honest I am a jeans/shorts and shirt guy. I'm not sloppy by any means but I don't dress up. I've never felt a suit and tie magically makes someone a better person..

Nobody says you have to wear a suit and tie, you just have to dress nice. Maybe some slacks and a nice shirt when you go out. My Lady wears jeans and a nice shirt when she goes out to normal places (store, gym, etc.) because I asked her the same question. I am a jeans and T-shirt type person myself, but I do wear slacks and a button down when needed. Suits in my opinion are for weddings, funerals and power lunches, not for stolling thru the park or mowing the lawn (leave it to beaver land there).

31 Days till Moscow and Egypt

Posted by: I/O

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

Read damn near every post on here over the last 2-3 - Am I too young?

Definitely not.

Quote:

- I am very laid back but also driven/strong work ethic will my laid back attitude mesh with FSU women?

You'll HAVE to be a bit laid back to tolerate a Russian woman. LOL.

Quote:

- I am not religious and reject organized religion (but I am VERY tolerant and respectful of anyone who choses to practice). Will that be a problem?

Won't be a problem. Most Russians are RO by birthrite rather than studious practice.

Quote:

- I do not want kids. Will this be an issue?

You don't want a woman with kids or you don't want kids period? If it is the latter, I think you'll be pushing schit uphill.

Quote:

- Would a FSU women be very insulted with a Pre-nup?

Depends how you approach the subject.

Quote:

I am a jeans/shorts and shirt guy. I'm not sloppy by any means but I don't dress up.

Russians dress better than many Westerners. When in Rome, do as the Romans do or stand out like 3 balls on a race dog. Your choice.

Quote:

I've never felt a suit and tie magically makes someone a better person.

Depends of the quality on the inside and outside of the suit.

Quote:

- What advice would you give someone who is starting out?

Go to Russia or the East for a holiday first. Check the place out, move around a bit and get some understanding. Then, perhaps start seriously looking. You will understand letters so much better and you will spot the BS so much more easily once you have been there.

A learning trip is a very sound investment if you are serious about this process.

I/O

Posted by: Stirlitz

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

- I am not religious and reject organized religion (but I am VERY tolerant and respectful of anyone who choses to practice). Will that be a problem?

No.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

- I do not want kids. Will this be an issue?

Yes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

- I've seen topics on clothing and to be honest I am a jeans/shorts and shirt guy. I'm not sloppy by any means but I don't dress up. I've never felt a suit and tie magically makes someone a better person.

Don�t worry about that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

- What advice would you give someone who is starting out?

Avoid agencies that control your communication with women.

Posted by: JohnnyLaRue

Thank you for your honest replies. I had a hunch the kid thing would be an issue but good to know I don't have to wear a monkey suit 24-7.

Also good to know that most breakups are not the knock down legal battle in the Western world.

I was thinking about taking a trip over there this year for my yearly vacation. Hope you don't mind me picking your brains about taking a vacation there later on.

Posted by: blucatz

Pick away, thats what this forum is here for. But, since most of us are getting older, no telling how many brains are left here to pick....LOL

31 days to Moscow and Egypt

Posted by: I/O

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

Hope you don't mind me picking your brains about taking a vacation there later on.

Slim pickin's.

I/O

Posted by: Spakoyna

Quote:

Originally Posted by I/O

Slim pickin's.

I/O

Another vote for an assinine Aussie?

Why did a few of you have ta run the good lot off??????

Posted by: I/O

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

Why did a few of you have ta run the good lot off??????

Define good?

Posted by: deccie

Quote:

Originally Posted by I/O

Define good?

Whomever agrees with Spanky of course. (-:

Posted by: Stirlitz

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

I had a hunch the kid thing would be an issue

Why don�t you want to have kids if you don�t mind me asking?

Posted by: Spakoyna

LOL! Are you onna tha slim pickins?

Quote:

Originally Posted by deccie

Whomever agrees with Spanky of course. (-:

Posted by: JohnnyLaRue

Stirlitz fair question. The reason I don't want kids is:

- Merely wanting children to have one's own genes (or last name) passed along seems narcissistic, egotistical and irrational in my opinion.

- If I truly wanted a child I would rather adopt a child who needs the love and stable environment than have one of my own. I also see no need to bring another person into an overpopulated world.

- Raising a child would probably not bring me the happiness or fulfillment I desire. I am not sure I want to risk the experience of having a child since it's not like an animal you can return to the pound or a car you return to the dealer.

- When I see my nephews or nieces (or my friends visit with their kids) it's nice for the weekend but when they leave I feel like *whew* I'm glad the kids are gone as I clean up the mess and toys they left.

- I love to travel and leaving at a moments notice. Having a child would prevent me from doing so. For example ideally I would like to tell my wife hey lets go to Hawaii this weekend and leave with no worries of who is taking care of the kid. (yes a weak reason but felt I had to have at least one weak reason ha ha)

Don't get me wrong I do mentor and volunteer at schools and youth centres, I have coached youth sports as well so I don't hate kids. I also am working towards my teaching degree and have been a substitute teacher (to earn $ on a flexible schedule) while I was getting my business off the ground.

Sorry for hijacking the thread. Oh wait this is my thread! :lol:

Lastly, I did register at allsinglerussiangirls yesterday and I have not 1, not 5 not 10 or even 25 but 29 message in my inbox. Is this normal? How do I know which ones to reply to? I'm too kind hearted to not write anyone back since I feel if they took the time to write I should as well but then again if I am writing to "Fat Boris" I couldn't care less about the time he spent to scam me. :P

*edit* Is the reason I have lots of replies is a have a photo and I took the time to write my entire profile in Russian? Granted my russian is very basic. In fact my Japanese is far better than my Russian.

Once again much thanks especially for have the time and patience to answer my questions. If you're ever in my area I owe ya a beer!

Posted by: Stirlitz

I understand. Then I would advise you to look into women with children. You will not contribute into overpopulating, will do nothing narcissistic but on the cotrary. And you will be able to skip the nappies part and deal with more grown-up children which is less of a headache total.

I know that is does not solve all the issues for you but at least it is a real way to meet a woman. Because most of women will pester you for kids. Even if they have one already. However, when she does, you can get away. If she does not, no way

Posted by: JohnnyLaRue

This is true, I would not have a problem if the women had an older child.

Some of the letters I have received have said that they have an older child or that they do not want children. So that is a good sign.

Once again I really do appreciate the replies on here.

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

This is true, I would not have a problem if the women had an older child.

Some of the letters I have received have said that they have an older child or that they do not want children. So that is a good sign.

Once again I really do appreciate the replies on here.

Johnny

If you are willing to take on a lady with her own child, you will have lots of potential mates, there are tons of women looking for a good man who wil look after their child also.

Chris

Posted by: alfie

I was always against meeting someone with kids, but now i'm getting older i think if you love someone then you'll want the child aswell.

Posted by: JohnnyLaRue

Chrismc: I guess you are right.

I now have 64 replies/letters to my profile (40 of the 64 have older kids). Though I REALLY would like to know if this is normal!

I'm sorry for asking again but was it due to the writing the entire profile in Russian, also adding a few good Russian proverbs in the profile, adding a nice photo, a bunch a "Fat Boris" letters hoping to scam me? A combo of both?

If I could get any advice on the next step that would be great. Write everyone back? Write them back in Russian? (this might take 3 weeks or more), check a scammers list first?

I defer to the wise experts on here.

Posted by: Stirlitz

Writing in good Russian will deter many scammers from trying to fool you.

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

Chrismc: I guess you are right.

I now have 64 replies/letters to my profile (40 of the 64 have older kids). Though I REALLY would like to know if this is normal!

I'm sorry for asking again but was it due to the writing the entire profile in Russian, also adding a few good Russian proverbs in the profile, adding a nice photo, a bunch a "Fat Boris" letters hoping to scam me? A combo of both?

If I could get any advice on the next step that would be great. Write everyone back? Write them back in Russian? (this might take 3 weeks or more), check a scammers list first?

I defer to the wise experts on here.

Now you have lots to choose from, pick out your top 5 or 6 and write back to them, check them out on scammer sites if you want beforehand.

See what response you get, then write a few more, when you have been emailing back and forth a week or two, pick our your favourite three say and ask for their phone numbers, then call them. You get a much better feel for a lady over the phone than by writing emails.

If none of your top ones work out, try some of the others, just whittle all the prospects down until you end up with say 3 very good potentials, then spend as much time as you can talking to them and getting to know them.

It doesn't matter if they speak no English, I have spoken for over an hour on the phone to ladies who knew no English, you get by, believe me, but what it does do is that it gives you a better insight of what that lady is like.

I think you have plenty to work with now, just go for it and if you find one you really gel with, be prepared to jump on a plane as soon as possible.

Just my 2 Kopecks

Chris

Posted by: freebird

[/QUOTE]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

Read damn near every post on here over the last 2-3 months and figured this forum seemed honest and nice enough to start asking questions.

In my late 20's and was married once (to an American) long story short came home one night to find her and her things gone, all joint bank accts cleaned out and an eviction notice the next morning due to unpaid rent for the last 5 months or so. Add in the massive debt and well you get the pic.

Done the dating thing for 7 years or so now and no such luck. I just don't seem to mesh well with Western women. All but one of my female friends are Western.

On to my questions/concerns and I apologize if these have been asked before but I have not seen them asked on here.

- Am I too young? Most members here are well into their 30's.

No, but it will be more difficult for you, and will require more work. {searching}

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

- I am very laid back but also driven/strong work ethic will my laid back attitude mesh with FSU women?

Yes, as with any relationship you will have to find someone who matches with your personality

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

- I am not religious and reject organized religion (but I am VERY tolerant and respectful of anyone who choses to practice). Will that be a problem?

No. If you don't mind going to an Orthodox church a few times a year, {for weddings, baptism, Easter, Christmas etc} it should not be a problem.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

- I do not want kids. Will this be an issue?

This will be your biggest hurdle. As posted earlier, if you find someone who already has a child/children it might not be a problem

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

- Would a FSU women be very insulted with a Pre-nup? I say this since I was cleaned out before and now that I run my own business and built myself back up I can not afford to lose that (and my retirement portfolio) IF a divorce occured.

I would stress that you need to get to know the person very well first, if you bring it up tactfully it should not be a problem. As long as she also feels secure I would think it could be done.

Quote:

I'm probably 10 years away from retiring and would be miserable if I was stuck working into my 60's.

Join the club.... :lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

If you are prepared to dress up for some special occasions, and dress neatly when going out, she should not have a problem if you dress casually at home.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

- What advice would you give someone who is starting out?

See my next post....

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

Lastly, I did put a profile on Cindys Agency just to see what is out there and get a feel for this. I felt if I was uncomfortable or this was not for me it would be easy to politely break it off before things got out of hand. Have yet to get a reply from them though.

Posted by: freebird

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

- What advice would you give someone who is starting out?

Lastly, I did put a profile on Cindys Agency just to see what is out there and get a feel for this. I felt if I was uncomfortable or this was not for me it would be easy to politely break it off before things got out of hand. Have yet to get a reply from them though.

Johnny I'm not familiar with allsinglerussian girls, but I did try out Cindy's and I would not advise you to use any site where you pay per letter. My best advice would be to try out Elena's, {elenasmodels.com} and also perhaps fiance.com, as they have a package where you can write as many letters as you want for the same price.

The problems you have are 1.) you are younger than most men here 2.) you don't want children.

I would advise you to search through the database of the two sites I mentioned, write down a list of girls aged say 21 - 26 with a child (or 2!)
you should be prepared to send your introduction to at least 40 girls on each, as in your situation you may get only 10% replies.

On Elena's the "gold" package will allow you "contacts" with 50 girls, and unlimited "EOI's" {expression of interest}. After making a well prepared profile, send EOI's to the 40+ girls on your list, and see who replies. Once you use a "contact" for a girl, you can exchange unlimited letters to that girl, which is important to get to know them.

Elena's is about the best site, as it has several helpful tools, including the % of responses to EOI's {if it's zero don't hold your breath for a reply} and the most important the date of the last log-in. Don't waste time with any girl that hasn't logged in for over 1 - 2 months, she is probably not looking anymore.

If you sign up for Elena's gold {I paid $150} I would also advise you to pay the $20 extra to extend your membership from 6 to 12 months. Also you can buy her e-book for 50% discount {$25}, it is based on her personal experience {russian girl marrying an S. African guy, they now live in Australia}. I found the book to be very helpful about making an intro letter.

the second site that I listed fiance.com, I signed up for the $50 per month package, you can send unlimited letters to girl & read replies. I would advise you to sign up with Elens'a first, read the book & work on your intro letter, then check out fiance.com, make your list of 40-60+ girls, and as soon as you sign up send your intro letter to all your selections.

Here is the thread in which some of us reviewed these sites

http://www.russianmeetingplace.com/...ead.php?t=16850

FYI, I sent about 10 EOI's at Elena's got about 50-60% response to EOI's, of those about 7 in 10 were positive.

I wrote to 12 girls at Fiance.com, I got 7 answers, 3 positive, 2 not interested, and 2 were already dating someone or engaged.

Posted by: JohnnyLaRue

Thanks a lot everyone. I feel like I know what to do now. I am somewhat relieved I don't have to write everyone back. I am too nice of a guy and have always felt of someone took the time to write me (or ask me for a date) I should write them back/go out on the date. But doing the writing back thing could get costly and take up a LOT of time. Narrowing it down to a few women seems like a great idea. Much thanks!

Freebird: I think I got the Cindy agency idea from your post in the link. I figured the whole smoking thing is not a deal breaker, the ages of the women were spot on with what I want and the complaints you had were not that big of a deal to me. So far I have had no problems. No emails either though.... :/

I heard the allsinglerussiangirls site talked up on the same link and felt it was worth joining. I had heard of Elanas on here as well but after checking out the site my gut tells me no (at least not for now). I am able to talk to the ones on the "free" section and able to see how things go and if this is right for me.

Posted by: Brian2

Johnny,

Good Luck.

Brian