Newfoundland Declares War on the U.S. - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

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Newfoundland Declares War on the U.S.
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Posted by: AkMike

President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang.

'Hallo, President Bush' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Archie, Up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada, eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you, eh!'

'Well Archie,' George replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big is your army?'

'Right now,' said Archie, after a moment's calculation 'there is meself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbour Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!'

George paused. 'I must tell you Archie that I have ONE MILLION men in my army waiting to move on my command.'

'Holy jeez,' said Archie. 'I'll have at call ya back!'

Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again.

'Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!'

'And what equipment would that be Archie?' George asked.

'Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer,3 fishing boats, 2 harpoon boats, a trawler with radar and Harry's farm tractor.'

President Bush sighed. 'I must tell you Archie , that I have 6,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke.'

'Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye', said Archie, 'I'll be getting back to ya.'

Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day.

'President Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!'

George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!'

'Jaysus, Mary and Joseph,' said Archie, 'I'll have ta call youse back.'

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day.

'President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war.'

'I'm sorry to hear that' said George. 'Why the sudden change of heart?'

'Well, sir,' said Archie, 'we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners.'

CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!

Posted by: mistermopar

LMAO....I almost pissed myself laughing....good one.

Randy

Posted by: AkMike

Quote:

Originally Posted by mistermopar

LMAO....I almost pissed myself laughing....good one.

Randy

Ya, I know how youlike your Newfie jokes.. Eh???

Posted by: mistermopar

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

Ya, I know how youlike your Newfie jokes.. Eh???

Oh ya,Newfie jokes are really big in Canada....well maybe not in Newfoundland.

Wonder what kind of jokes they have there....????

Randy

Posted by: AkMike

They probably substitute Americans or Pollacks for Newfies!
Pollack jokes used to be alot of fun.

Posted by: mistermopar

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

They probably substitute Americans or Pollacks for Newfies!
Pollack jokes used to be alot of fun.

LOL..ya I remember when we use to use Pollacks in our jokes...but not quite as fun as picking on the Newfies...LOL

Randy