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Women are Women???
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Posted by: GoingToRussia

In a current/ongoing thread, someone mentioned ... "women are women" it doesn't matter what country they are from. I've ask this question a few times and never got an answer so I thought I would make a thread and ask. The question is ...

If women are women no matter what country they are from, then why do we want to meet and marry a woman specifically from the FSU?

Of course all women want basic things but there must be a reason why we seek FSU women. Is it the accent, the beauty, the personality, their sense of family, or something else, or a mixuture of all these things?

Maybe we have been brainwashed into thinking these women are different but really not?

Maybe it's a chicken/egg thing???

I don't know why but I am much more attracted to FSU women then America women.

Opinions please .....

Posted by: AkMike

I think the following sentence said that they have better family values for the most part. That's been my experience. There is always the exception and maybe my experience is the exception..

Posted by: Spakoyna

GTR
I did not specifically search for Russian woman. I had done the Match .com scene for awhile. Ya know it's tough to meet marriage material when ya pass the 40 mark. My profession did not allow many opportunities. Church...nah...you know the drill. I have no doubts there are women here that would be my match.

I came home from a sh*tty match.com date with a few beers under my belt. I got a spam email from some Russian woman site. Got me to lookin. I found Global Ladies(European connections) website. Put your profile on and let women who are interested in you write to you. Well they were fairly local to me so I put up a profile. I had almost forgotten I did it when a couple a weeks later...BAM! I started getting all these responses. I had almost forgot I had done it. Well, a week went on and curiosity got the best of me. I bought a few tokens and started reading a few letters from women whose profile interested me.

I exchanged a few letters but no one really got to me. 1 girl had my interest but the turn around was at best a week and she had a young child. I was not really looking to be a parent again.

Then my now wife wrote me. Bam, Bam ,Bam.....exchanging letters almost daily M-F. I was very careful and serious how I wrote to her. She answered all my questions to the tee for what I was looking for in a relationship! In less than a months time I asked about meeting! Damn...never thought I would do that! 11 weeks after we started writing to each other we met! Never looked back and am so happy I overcame any fears I had and made the journey!

I will say this...a woman is a woman. Doesn't matter where she hails from.

Posted by: goforit

Actually I asked this question in a thread a while back and never got a direct answer. Although after answering it my antagonist backed up somewhat and assured me of his love for Russian women (since he is married to a Russian lady), because I basically said if Russian women are going to be just like American women once they get over here, even if they are different to begin with, why the heck bother with all the time, expense and risk? We should just go marry an American girl and save time and money.

Here is my original statement:

"So there are several conclusions we can draw from your statements:

1. Russian women are not family oriented.

In fact, they are really not much different than American women, of course which begs the question, why use a marriage agency or why look for a foreign bride at all, no matter the method, if she is, or soon will be, no different than what you find on American soil?"

Full post: http://www.russianmeetingplace.com/...7315#post127315

Posted by: Manchester

Traditional family values that are much touted one can find in a local woman too. (Well you can in England)

Its all about age gaps and slimness.

Men go abroad because the women 10-15 (And in some cases 25) years younger than them are simply not interested in them at home.

Men go abroad for slim bodies. Fat women pumped up on McDonalds smoking 40 a day are in plentiful supply at home, slim ones are thinner on the ground.

Want a slim non smoker who is 10 years yonger than you? Spend 10 years looking for her at home and then take on her emotional baggage and debt or go to Russia and have a choice.

Its not rocket science.

Posted by: Chillidog

I wish I could answer this question as a man already married to a RW, but can not. For me I was married (and I will say me and my-ex are still friends she is a good woman) and have twin daughters now 20 yrs old. What I found thru my past marriage and doing the EHarmony/Match.com scene is all of the woman my "ex" included, was that the man needed to constantly kiss there backsides, but they expected this and so felt no need to do the same in return. Then when the man finally says "enough" they repsond with "you don't love me any more", or "I knew this was going to happen, men are all alike". From what I have seen and experinced so far from the RW is if the man is appreciative and attentive to them they return this attention and devotion. I just got sick and tired of basicly giving and never getting. It is my nature to be attentive, giving and caring to the woman, I just would like to find the "One" woman who is looking for this and also more than willing to reciprocate. I think my chances are much greater in finding this in a RW.
As far as them being just like an AW once they are over here for a few years, I cannot comment, but my beleif is that a woman from 35 & over (what I search for) has already established her beliefs in family and this will not change. For a woman around 20 I would say, "yes" there is a strong possibilty that are society will have a much bigger affect and change on her.

Posted by: stevo

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manchester

Men go abroad for slim bodies. Fat women pumped up on McDonalds smoking 40 a day are in plentiful supply at home, slim ones are thinner on the ground.

When I was in Vilnius last month, it was about two days before it occurred to me that I hadn't noticed any fat girls...

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manchester

Traditional family values that are much touted one can find in a local woman too. (Well you can in England)

Yup, you can find that here too, but the pool is a lot bigger in countries where the primary language is not english.

Quote:

Its all about age gaps and slimness.

Men go abroad because the women 10-15 (And in some cases 25) years younger than them are simply not interested in them at home.

Men go abroad for slim bodies. Fat women pumped up on McDonalds smoking 40 a day are in plentiful supply at home, slim ones are thinner on the ground.

Want a slim non smoker who is 10 years yonger than you? Spend 10 years looking for her at home and then take on her emotional baggage and debt or go to Russia and have a choice.

Its not rocket science.

Yup that is a factor for many as well (though not all, at least as far as the age gap is concerned).

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chillidog

As far as them being just like an AW once they are over here for a few years, I cannot comment, but my beleif is that a woman from 35 & over (what I search for) has already established her beliefs in family and this will not change. For a woman around 20 I would say, "yes" there is a strong possibilty that are society will have a much bigger affect and change on her.

Yes I agree with you although I'm not sure it is the age factor per se. I just think some of the younger women growing up in the big cities of the FSU represent a diverging culture, one that is more and more prosperous and exposed to western ideas, some good (like freedom) and some bad (like gender feminism). But in the more rural areas the inroads of bad western ideology aren't as strong.

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevo

When I was in Vilnius last month, it was about two days before it occurred to me that I hadn't noticed any fat girls...

In the Russian Orthodox Church that I attend, the only fat women (unless they are very very old) are the American and UK converts.

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chillidog

I wish I could answer this question as a man already married to a RW, but can not. For me I was married (and I will say me and my-ex are still friends she is a good woman) and have twin daughters now 20 yrs old. What I found thru my past marriage and doing the EHarmony/Match.com scene is all of the woman my "ex" included, was that the man needed to constantly kiss there backsides, but they expected this and so felt no need to do the same in return. Then when the man finally says "enough" they repsond with "you don't love me any more", or "I knew this was going to happen, men are all alike". From what I have seen and experinced so far from the RW is if the man is appreciative and attentive to them they return this attention and devotion. I just got sick and tired of basicly giving and never getting. It is my nature to be attentive, giving and caring to the woman, I just would like to find the "One" woman who is looking for this and also more than willing to reciprocate. I think my chances are much greater in finding this in a RW.

I agree 100% on this. AW want you to kiss thier butts all the time, thier attitudes are "What can you do for me?". It's all about them anymore. AW's are the most selfish people I have ever met. I had 2 marriages destroyed, family's destroyed because they were more concerned with thier own happiness, forget anything else. I have absolutely no desire to date AW anymore, tired of the head games they play.

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by goforit

Yes, but speaking in general terms, the older woman will be lets say more set in her ways and living in a new culture and society will have less of a dramatic effect on her personal views on relationships and life. Where a young woman for argument sack say around 20 who is still trying to discover herself, and figure out what she is looking for in life, coming to a new culture and new society will IMO have a bigger effect and impact on her social and family views. That is not to say that there are not exceptions (like every rule).

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by goforit

you brought up another good point about where the woman has lived her life, Moscow, St. Pete, Kiev (maybe have not been there) there has been more exposure to western attitudes, and I am sure has started to influence some of the woman, again I think more of the younger one's in their twenties and they may have more of a western attitude towards family/life. Where a young lady living distant from these major cities would be less influenced and when coming to a new culture I think will still be influenced due to her relative inexperince in life, but maybe less so, due to her upbringing and origin of where she lived

Posted by: redhawk

well,i completely agree about rw being different. ive known my fiancee now for over a year,and every once in a while,i discover something completely alien to us culture.
for example,when i spoke to her today,she didnt want her roomates to hear what we were discussing.(THEY UNDERSTAND ENGLISH)i have met them,and they know about me.,but
i get paranoid from time to time,because i have been cheated on before,and immediately i think"she is doing something wrong..she doesnt want her roomate to hear because she is cheating on me and doesnt want them to hear her say intimate things to me,or that she loves me."
she explained to me the following out loud in front of the said roomateswhen i asked why.
"this is because in our culture,we are very reserved about emotions and feelings.
these are my roomates,not my friends,family etc. its not their business about us.
we are not like americans who are very open about everything and very emotional.
i love you but please try to understand dear."
the fact that she is part asian i think makes her reservedness even more pronounced.
just my observations over the last year with her.
RW are totally different. i wouldnt be here if they were the same as AW in every way,and i beleive this is part of the mystique that draws us from afar.
and she is not from moscow,but lives there.

Posted by: goforit

IMO, saying women are women is the equivalent of saying "cultures are cultures." That is silly on the face of it and since people make up cultures, if cultures are different, then people are different, even if their basic desires are the same. That would presumably include women from a given culture.

The main reason I am seeking a bride from any part of the world where English is not the primary language is because gender feminism has not done its dirty work to the same extent that is has gripped much of western culture. So you are more likely to find women without all that ideological baggage. Women who enjoy being women. Women who don't think marriage is an institution designed to enslave them. Strong, intelligent, articulate women who are not striving to be would be men, to compete with a man, and who think family, not career, deserves a more central place in their life.

Now that doesn't mean you shouldn't be careful, because the westernization of good parts of the world is in full swing, but it does mean the pool of a more traditional style woman is greater to choose from.

Unfortunately some guys get their pants all in knickers when this is brought up, thinking that this is a denial of women's rights. They make the mistake of equating feminism with a woman working, and equal rights, on the one hand, and on the other hand traditionalism with sugjugating a woman and keeping her barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen all her life, better to be seen and not heard. That's nonsense and one of the great lies gender feminism has foisted upon us.

The second reason is that I wanted to meet a woman who was Orthodox not just by baptism but by conviction, i.e. she understands her faith and takes it seriously. There are not very many available single Orthodox women of child bearing age in America.

The third reason is that I wanted to marry a younger woman who still wanted to have children. That option was and is still available to me here, but as I noted above there is usually too much baggage along with it.

Posted by: cedarwind

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manchester

Traditional family values that are much touted one can find in a local woman too. (Well you can in England)

Its all about age gaps and slimness.

Men go abroad because the women 10-15 (And in some cases 25) years younger than them are simply not interested in them at home.

Men go abroad for slim bodies. Fat women pumped up on McDonalds smoking 40 a day are in plentiful supply at home, slim ones are thinner on the ground.

Want a slim non smoker who is 10 years yonger than you? Spend 10 years looking for her at home and then take on her emotional baggage and debt or go to Russia and have a choice.

Its not rocket science.

^ well said and agreed with

Posted by: redhawk

damn i wish i had you for physics! absolutely true also!

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by goforit

Unfortunately some guys get their pants all in knickers when this is brought up, thinking that this is a denial of women's rights. They make the mistake of equating feminism with a woman working, and equal rights, on the one hand, and on the other hand traditionalism with sugjugating a woman and keeping her barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen all her life, better to be seen and not heard. That's nonsense and one of the great lies gender feminism has foisted upon us.

I agree, but will also add that it is not just the guys that spout this rubbish but the women as well. Again not all. What I look for is more of the attitudes I saw in my grandparents growing up. Both my grandmothers worked but they did not see their job as a means to define their success in life, where I think the majority of woman (western) do now, for them their greatest happiness and joy in life was "family" and personally I think they were much harder working women not only in their jobs but even in the home and family enviroment. I think back to when I was a child, their was always a special feeling in the home and when all of the cousins, Aunts, Uncles were together and before I die I would like to experience these feelings again, will not happen with a western woman. In my children, I can see the point of my ex saying that she wants them to go up strong and not dependent on a man, and we have discussed this at great length, but I tell my girls, if you want happiness and love, you want a man to do things for you and treat you with respect, then you have to treat the man this same way and understand that the man should not be the only one kissing someones backside, do not deny yourselves the absolute joy and pleasure of what a home and family can bring into your life.

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chillidog

I agree, but will also add that it is not just the guys that spout this rubbish but the women as well. Again not all.

Yes you are right. I should I have been more clear. When I said guys I meant several on this site who reacted the last time this subject came up.

It is mostly women who openly advocate this kind of thing and LOTS of men who go along with it.

Quote:

What I look for is more of the attitudes I saw in my grandparents growing up. Both my grandmothers worked but they did not see their job as a means to define their success in life, where I think the majority of woman (western) do now, for them their greatest happiness and joy in life was "family"...

Yes I agree. Here is a quote from a post I made awhile back where the author is praising women south of the border:

"There is for the Mexicana a difference of centrality. Her focus is on her home, her man, and her children. She sees her job as a way to support her family instead of, as happens northward, the other way around. Her home is more important to her than her office. Making partner at Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe is not her reason for living. Should the man share these sentiments, as gringos with Mexican wives seem to, there flows a warmth and steadfastness that changes the tenor of life. The time at home, talking, doing yard work, dancing to the boom box, or screwing their brains out, counts more than whatever else might be out there."

http://www.fredoneverything.net/Mexicanas.shtml

Quote:

...and personally I think they were much harder working women not only in their jobs but even in the home and family enviroment.

Something I wrote awhile ago:

Myth #1 - A traditional "housewife" does not work.

"This was clearly put forth by you when you talked about the born again woman who found Jesus and just stays home and has babies. It was emotive and highly prejudicial since you used it to illustrate the "traditional" wife as if somehow that group is an anachronism left over from medieval days and only religious fanatics hold to such an idea. And worse, that somehow such a woman would be available to the average man looking for a "traditional" wife.

"Women historically have ALWAYS worked. It was not until the 1950's IN THE WEST, that the opportunity for a woman to not work presented itself, because of the centuries of unprecedented economic and technological growth in the West that made such an arrangment possible. Before that women were actively involved in the administration of their households at nearly ALL LEVELS, with the exception of defense. And the household itself involved many duties and activities that have since been farmed out to 3rd party providers, leaving the woman little or nothing to do, or doing work she considered drudgery, etc.

"What is interesting is that it is precisely during this time the "New Left" feminism reared its very ugly head with Betty Friedan's publishing of A Feminine Mystique in the early 1960's and the start of the National Organization of Women with its claim of alleged economic discrimination.

"So a "career" wife has historically been the rule, not the exception. The Ozzie and Harriet 1960's TV stereotype of a couple where the man works, and the wife doesn't do much of anything, is not only new, but is quite NON-TRADITIONAL.

"Where women have been subjugated it has largely been because of GOVERNMENT intervention of what her role ought to be. When left alone women have generally flourished, even when societies mores would suggest otherwise."

full post: AGES OLD PROFILES #113

Quote:

I think back to when I was a child, their was always a special feeling in the home and when all of the cousins, Aunts, Uncles were together and before I die I would like to experience these feelings again, will not happen with a western woman. In my children, I can see the point of my ex saying that she wants them to go up strong and not dependent on a man, and we have discussed this at great length, but I tell my girls, if you want happiness and love, you want a man to do things for you and treat you with respect, then you have to treat the man this same way and understand that the man should not be the only one kissing someones backside, do not deny yourselves the absolute joy and pleasure of what a home and family can bring into your life.

Good advice and I say, "what is wrong with mutual dependence?" Why do we have to be independent of each other? From my experience and observation, relationships work best when a man feels his woman needs him and vice-versa. But if the only reason she has him around is so he can provide the occasional sexual escapade, and she doesn't need him for anything else, what is the point of marriage?

Posted by: redhawk

chilli,im 34 years old, i was raised by my grandparents(ww2 generation) and absolutely agree with your post. i tell my daughter the same exact thing.
I want her to be a good wife if she so chooses that path someday.
showing love by caring and mutual respect is most important. no one in a relationship should do everything by themselves,and everything done should be from the heart.
the american family has been in decline for a long time,in no small part to feminism and the lies that have been told.
my grandmother has a 6th grade education,got married at 15,had my dad at 16.
now 83,she will be the first to tell you,"i have had an excellent,happy life,and i have never wanted for anything other than to care for my family, your grandfather saw to it that i never had to work outside the home,but all these damn modern women and lazy men screwed it all up! if they knew how good we had it back then,they would change their minds! a woman for president? are they crazy?"

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by goforit

I could not agree more with everything you wrote. to quote you "What is wrong with mutual dependence" this is the root of my lengthy discussions with my ex (I might add that these discusions were in a friendly and constructive manner) and I think in these discussions with her showed also the root of our split up, just different philosophies on life/family that caused us to grow apart. In her defence she has now been faced for going on 6 years of being the "head" of the household, I am very active in my girls lives, but not being living under the same roof with the girls, my role is diminished just due to pure lack of daily presence. My ex sees it that she wants the girls to be financial independent to not need to relie on the man in this fashion, but this philosophy does touch on deeper matters where as you state the career becomes #1 and family/relationships get pushed to the back. Which then leads to this thread and why if "women are women" do we look to the RW as being different.
I think we can see a little of why each of us searches in all of the points made, and for me the biggest reason is not that they are more beautiful, more fit, a bigger selection, but for me it the true beleif that they do have a different philosophy on family, a different outlook and approach to life, that does match my feelings.
The other question "will they change once they arrive and live in a new country and culture", I would say that they all will change to at least a small degree, but thier core beliefs and outlook on life will not, their desires for a strong family bond and all the happiness andjoy that family brings to a persons life will not change, and if I did not believe this I would not put forth the time and effort.
I think all people are individuals and a great change could happen to even the most sincere and honest woman.

Posted by: Testman

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhawk

chilli,im 34 years old, i was raised by my grandparents(ww2 generation) and absolutely agree with your post. i tell my daughter the same exact thing.
I want her to be a good wife if she so chooses that path someday.
showing love by caring and mutual respect is most important. no one in a relationship should do everything by themselves,and everything done should be from the heart.
the american family has been in decline for a long time,in no small part to feminism and the lies that have been told.
my grandmother has a 6th grade education,got married at 15,had my dad at 16.
now 83,she will be the first to tell you,"i have had an excellent,happy life,and i have never wanted for anything other than to care for my family, your grandfather saw to it that i never had to work outside the home,but all these damn modern women and lazy men screwed it all up! if they knew how good we had it back then,they would change their minds! a woman for president? are they crazy?"

Same here. I am 33 and my grandmother, who is 87, you should here her talk about what American women have become! She fully supported me, even loaned me money when I made my trip to Ukraine. And incidentally, I also was raised by my grandparents. The difference in dating from their days and our days was something my grandfather, literally, could not bring himself to believe. It wasn't until I brought over a computer and got on the Internet and went into some dating chat rooms that he saw how young women act now days. His mouth just dropped wide open. He always thought I must have women lined up to date me and the reason I didn't have a girlfriend was because I was either gay or because I was crazy. He would always repeat that all any man had to do to get a wife was to be nice to women. LOL He never again said anything of that nature, not as long as he lived. Not after witnessing what modern American women REALLY have become.

But as to the title of the post, the reason I always gave people for going to the FSU, was not so much the women were better, but that it seemed like more women there wanted a relationship/marriage than in the USA. However, after having actually now gone to Ukraine, I now feel that yes, I was right, more women want to marry than in the states, but I also saw that the women were very, uh, well, womanly! They don't walk around like butches, like American women do. They are very approachable. And they don't try to "shun" men. When I arrived at the airport, I was picked up by one of the agency's interpreters and brought to my apartment. I was absolutely floored that she went into this apartment with me and closed the door to talk about the agencies prices, polices, etc. An American woman would have made me feel like some kind of criminal and made sure I could pick up on it. Then she would have started bashing men, right in front of me.

The one thing I did encounter, that makes FSU women resemble American women, is they are hung up on baldness in a man. However, at least they are willing to average him all out at the end of the day, where as with American women, if you're bald, you're toast, end of discussion. FSU women do have height preferences, but at least they aren't unreasonable like American women's are. If a FSU woman is say, 5'-6" tall, she may want her man to be like 5'-9" tall. Well, most men are that tall, if not taller ,anyway. In the states, the woman could be a midget, yet she will expect her date to be at least 6' tall. And even then, height is just a preference with FSU women and not a prerequisite like it is with American women! I saw women in Ukraine who had to be over 6' tall dating men who had to be more like 5' tall. In the states, where is this? No where. The women here would simply refuse to date at all unless they could find their perfect match.

One thing is for sure, even if "women are women" and FSU women are just the same, at least there does seem like theres no shortage of marriage minded women there. And I can say that such a shortage certainly does exist in many parts of the USA. I know a Ukrainian man, who moved from Ukraine to the states. He said in Ukraine, he had girls asking him on dates almost every day. When he got to the states, not only would they not ask him out, they wouldn't even look at him. So he started asking them out instead, and it took that man TWO YEARS to get a date. He said he would ask a woman out and she would say, "I don't date short guys!" As he was only 5'-9" tall, as if thats short. And this was in the early 1980's or late 70s, I believe. Bet its worse now.

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Testman

The one thing I did encounter that makes FSU women resemble American women, is they are hung up on baldness in a man. However, at least they are willing to average him all out at the end of the day, where as with American women, if you're bald, you're toast, end of discussion.

Really? My lady loves my bald head. Although I don't shave it like yours, it is only peach fuzz cause I keep it that short. I don't have any problems here with women because I am bald either, I just choose not to date them. When I go dancing, I have no problems finding partners that night or have them lined up for the following night, all of them wanting to pay my way in, but, I won't date them. Frustrates the heck out of them too.

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhawk

.
now 83,she will be the first to tell you,"i have had an excellent,happy life,and i have never wanted for anything other than to care for my family, your grandfather saw to it that i never had to work outside the home,but all these damn modern women and lazy men screwed it all up! if they knew how good we had it back then,they would change their minds! a woman for president? are they crazy?"

LOL! It is amazing the wisdom our elders have if we will only listen.

I have to say your grandmother brings up a point that is often missed in discussions of this nature, "LAZY MEN." We often lay the blame of radical feminism at the feet of women, but feminism didn't evolve in a vacuum. Until very recently, there was only one written American male critique of the feminist movement (about 15 years into the movement, from the 1970's!) and the author himself noted the deafening silence back then, and today there are still very few.

Now we have the men's right movement, but they appear to me to be as extreme and committing some of the same mistakes as the feminists they oppose.

Posted by: Spakoyna

Well I don't totally agree with what is being said here! You would be suprised at how many of these FSU women also have an agenda! Careers being there #1 goal. Perhaps the percentage of FSU women who want a traditional marrige is more than in the US. But I honestly do not think it is that much higher. I believe there are plenty of descent American women available, the problem is the avenues of meeting them have been taken away.

When these descent American women realize it is not degrading to seek a partner online I believe you will see a change. Ase goes on you will also see more and more FSU women becoming like you guys are sterotyping American women here! Beware...those who see things through your types of eyes are usually snagged by one of the FSU wome that has an agenda!

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

When these descent American women realize it is not degrading to seek a partner online I believe you will see a change. Ase goes on you will also see more and more FSU women becoming like you guys are sterotyping American women here! Beware...those who see things through your types of eyes are usually snagged by one of the FSU wome that has an agenda!

I think we are already past the point where women think its degrading to date online. But, reading the match requirements these women put on thier profiles, no wonder they are still single after being listed over 2 years. WAY too picky, especially whey they are no prize themselves. The one advantage I see in a woman from FSU is the numbers, there are just more of them with the values we seek. Sure, there are some with agenda's of thier own, but not as many as in the US. We are talking about just plain more options in the FSU than in the US. Its a numbers game now.

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucatz

I agree this is a much more generaly accepted practice in America now. And speaking of this on MSN-dating one of their "experts" and "columnists" is writing about her experiences in getting back into the dating scene at age 51 and she writes, I Quote "First batch of matches appear on my Macbook. I gaze at their faces, some lit by sun, others by indoor lamps, and almost all defelcting light off their balding heads" end of quote.
So their is a stigma against men in our society who do have less then a full head of hair. Otherwise "Hair Club for Men" or the Bosley Center" would not be such lucrative buisness. Or all of these Monoxicil products on the market.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

So we should all grow our hair long and do a "comb over"!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGGDLdl4ycM

Posted by: mistermopar

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

So we should all grow our hair long and do a "comb over"!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGGDLdl4ycM

AHHHHH...not the comb over...LOL,my father dose that,I swore if I ever started going bald I would get surgery and have hair put in....

Randy

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by mistermopar

AHHHHH...not the comb over...LOL,my father dose that,I swore if I ever started going bald I would get surgery and have hair put in....

Randy

I'm with you 100% on that one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

Well I don't totally agree with what is being said here! You would be suprised at how many of these FSU women also have an agenda! Careers being there #1 goal. Perhaps the percentage of FSU women who want a traditional marrige is more than in the US. But I honestly do not think it is that much higher. I believe there are plenty of descent American women available, the problem is the avenues of meeting them have been taken away.

When these descent American women realize it is not degrading to seek a partner online I believe you will see a change. Ase goes on you will also see more and more FSU women becoming like you guys are sterotyping American women here! Beware...those who see things through your types of eyes are usually snagged by one of the FSU wome that has an agenda!

American women have long since discovered the online dating scene. Its massive and its burgeoning, everything from Craigs List to Yahoo and many sites in between.

Leaving aside the far more developed feminism in the west, which simply can't be avoided unless one shuns entirely the American educational system and the American media, you can read the profiles and tell the difference.

With the exception of maybe eHarmony there is no American dating site aimed at Americans and populated by Americans that advertises itself as a marriage site. NONE. Again with the notable exception of eHarmony, there is not a single site that advertises itself, not as a match site, not as a date site, but as a site specifically designed to find you a spouse for life. That fact alone reveals much about the western dating scene.

That is one of the things I like about foreign dating sites. There is no elephant in the room that everyone is trying to ignore. Everyone knows upfront what the gig is and what we/they are looking for.

The pool of "traditional" women will remain bigger in the FSU until if and/or when more western feminist ideas are adopted wholesale in the FSU. That is happening in some of the bigger cities but it in no way approaches the all extensive reach of feminism in the west.

And if/when that does happen, men will just start looking for brides in other places. In fact the FSU is now 5th on the list behind Vietnam, Philippines, Thailand, and China as destinations for foreign brides, with South America rising rapidly. Not to mention that feminism is losing its appeal in many corners of the west as well, so at some future far flung date there may be no need for men to cross borders in search of a mate.

Posted by: mistermopar

Quote:

Originally Posted by goforit

Wow...why can't things go back to the 50's or 60's when life was so much simpalar......women were women and men were men,this world is getting to screwed up....

Randy

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by mistermopar

Wow...why can't things go back to the 50's or 60's when life was so much simpalar......women were women and men were men,this world is getting to screwed up....

Randy

Because that would be too simple, and we can't have things simple now, can we?

Posted by: Jerico

Quote:

Agreed!!!
I dont know where you live but since i shaved my head bald I actually have more younger women interested in me. From what I can see at least.
Jerry

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by mistermopar

AHHHHH...not the comb over...LOL,my father dose that,I swore if I ever started going bald I would get surgery and have hair put in....

Randy

Hey, I'm insulted, this is exactly what I do, Got it from my Uncle (the comb over that is) maybe this should be my new look

Posted by: goforit

I think I would shave my head before doing the comb over. Bald can be sexy but a comb over??? LOL!

Posted by: mistermopar

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chillidog

Hey, I'm insulted, this is exactly what I do, Got it from my Uncle (the comb over that is) maybe this should be my new look

Hummmm.....nope,the bag isn't a good look for you....go with the comb over...LOL

Randy

Posted by: stevo

Quote:

Originally Posted by goforit

The pool of "traditional" women will remain bigger in the FSU until if and/or when more western feminist ideas are adopted wholesale in the FSU. That is happening in some of the bigger cities but it in no way approaches the all extensive reach of feminism in the west.

In the USSR, weren't women taught to consider themselves and men as equals? (Let me offer the word "comrade" as an example.) So the problem modern Western-style feminism has had in spreading into the FSU may have something to do with that. Women are too busy getting on with their lives to bother with ideology.

There's a famous propaganda poster with the slogan "Ban kitchen slavery", and in the film "The White Sun of the Desert", which everybody has seen, the protagonist rescues some women from a harem in one of the southern republics, and sets about educating them in women's rights - he paints a banner with the slogan "A woman is a person too" and puts it on the wall in their house. (Later on there's a hilarious scene where he tells the most free-thinking of the women that he's going to put her in charge of the others, and she runs back to them shouting, "Master says I'm his favourite wife!")

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevo

I agree with you, in some parts of the world women are too busy to bother with a lot of this stuff. And in other parts of the world (like places that condone female castration), they need to worry about this stuff.

But ooh if western style feminism were only about being equals, then there wouldn't be much to argue about. And the stuff is in the air, even among women who you would never expect it from. It is like some invisible IV hookup that slowly seeps in unawares even to women who haven't given much thought about it.

I think old Murray had it right way back in 1970 in his rather eye-opening critique: http://snipurl.com/20vpu

"It is high time, and past due, that someone blew the whistle on "Women�s Liberation." Like The Environment, Women�s Lib is suddenly and raucously everywhere in the last few months. It has become impossible to avoid being assaulted, day in and day out, by the noisy blather of the Women�s Movement. Special issues of magazines, TV news programs, and newspapers have been devoted to this new-found "problem"; and nearly two dozen books on women�s lib are being scheduled for publication this year by major publishers.

"In all this welter of verbiage, not one article, not one book, not one program has dared to present the opposition case. The injustice of this one-sided tidal wave should be evident. Not only is it evident, but the lack of published opposition negates one of the major charges of the women�s lib forces: that the society and economy are groaning under a monolithic male "sexist" tyranny. If the men are running the show, how is it that they do not even presume to print or present anyone from the other side?"

another excerpt:

"Why, in fact, this sudden upsurge of women�s lib? Even the most fanatic virago of the Women�s Movement concedes that this new movement has not emerged in response to any sudden clamping down of the male boot upon the collective sensibilities of the American female. Instead, the new uprising is part of the current degeneracy of the New Left, which, as its one-time partly libertarian politics and ideology and organization have collapsed, has been splintering into absurd and febrile forms,..."

Posted by: broncosfan

I think it's conveinance. We're men. We like women. Most of us on here like to travel. We get spammed by all this russian bride stuff in our e-mails. One day a light bulb goes off in our heads that sais "Hey, if I take my vacation in the FSU, I can have an agency hook me up with hot single women!" Some of us go into it naive and get scammed. Some of us go into it with little expectations and fall in love. And the fact that these women are exotic to us, "complete with accents and everything," is only a plus.

I don't mean to sound sarcastic in my response, but sometimes the simplist answer makes the most since. Sure there's other reasons for different people. Maybe some members recently got divorced and feel lonely. They don't want to feel loneley so they pursue this kind of relationship to occupy their minds. You have someone to talk to, and a safe distance. Nothing feels rushed like conventional dating.

Or, some members might be self concious. This is an oppurtunity to get to know a women, and let them get to know you, with out physical attraction being center stage.

Whatever the reason, I see members take their stand, and say Russian women are better.

But, whatever reason is given, I still think it comes down to conveinance.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Hmm ... I don't understand the convenience. Taking an airplane flight for 20-30 hours and then spending 1000s of dollars isn't convenient for me.

Yes the "hook-up" may have been convenient but nothing else.

Posted by: broncosfan

Good point.

But we're talking initial draw. The reasons people are drawn to Russian girls. It takes a veteren like ourselves to fully understand all thats involved. And most of us who are married to Russian women, or have been through all the motions,end up being the side of the coin who say women are women.

Oh, and there is always time wasted on a plane when going on vacation. Whether to visit a Russian women or not.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

I was always told, "I march to the beat of a different drummer".

I chose a FSU woman because I couldn't find an American woman. My grandmother was also born is Saratov Russia and I've always been fascinated with the architect of Orthodox churches since I was a small boy. It just seemed natural to look in Russia for a wife.

Also I don't think women are women. Yes they all have basic needs and wants but if they were all the same, why would someone search in a different country for a wife? In my case and opinion, I think FSU women are different from American women. Maybe my fiancee is different but she understands that women and men are different, a concept the American women I've met have lost.

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

Maybe my fiancee is different but she understands that women and men are different, a concept the American women I've met have lost.

They didn't loose it, they took that concept and buried it in a deep hole and built a shopping mall on top of it. Then complained that there were not enuf women construction workers on the site.

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

Maybe my fiancee is different but she understands that women and men are different, a concept the American women I've met have lost.

GTR, not only do you make a great straight man (the "blue pill" thread) but I see you are a master of understatement as well.

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucatz

They didn't loose it, they took that concept and buried it in a deep hole and built a shopping mall on top of it. Then complained that there were not enuf women construction workers on the site.

Great fishing can be had in many places:

My apologies to western women who do understand and appreciate the differences. Several of you have blessed my life immensely, but a man has to do what he has to do.

Posted by: nocomfortzone

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

GTR
I did not specifically search for Russian woman. I had done the Match .com scene for awhile. Ya know it's tough to meet marriage material when ya pass the 40 mark. My profession did not allow many opportunities. Church...nah...you know the drill. I have no doubts there are women here that would be my match.

I came home from a sh*tty match.com date with a few beers under my belt. I got a spam email from some Russian woman site. Got me to lookin. I found Global Ladies(European connections) website. Put your profile on and let women who are interested in you write to you. Well they were fairly local to me so I put up a profile. I had almost forgotten I did it when a couple a weeks later...BAM! I started getting all these responses. I had almost forgot I had done it. Well, a week went on and curiosity got the best of me. I bought a few tokens and started reading a few letters from women whose profile interested me.

I exchanged a few letters but no one really got to me. 1 girl had my interest but the turn around was at best a week and she had a young child. I was not really looking to be a parent again.

Then my now wife wrote me. Bam, Bam ,Bam.....exchanging letters almost daily M-F. I was very careful and serious how I wrote to her. She answered all my questions to the tee for what I was looking for in a relationship! In less than a months time I asked about meeting! Damn...never thought I would do that! 11 weeks after we started writing to each other we met! Never looked back and am so happy I overcame any fears I had and made the journey!

I will say this...a woman is a woman. Doesn't matter where she hails from.

Brilliant post illustrating the great wisdom in not limiting our life to only choosing woman from certain regions.

I too played around with match.com site a few years ago only thinking of woman from my region but I was naive to the fact your profile can be read by woman all over the world and the woman I developed a connection with came from Ukraine which I virtually knew nothing about at the time. That soon changed!!!

I was not looking for a woman from this region or ever thought of such a thing but I kept an open mind and explored a relationship with her that eventually led to us meeting up in person.

It was interesting, enchanting , challenging and an adventure of both good and bad for me. At the end of the chapter in my life the one thing that stood out is a woman is a woman. Her uniqueness as a person is what attracted me and we developed a connection just as could happen with any woman any place.

The truth is an ideal woman for any guy can be next door or on other side of world. Guys limiting themself to closing off opportunities of woman in your own country reduce the probability of finding a partner but ultimately it is all our own life to live.
Some choose to make it difficult for themself and maybe get off on the drama on some level of a more difficult road. Some chose to keep an open mind and be open to all woman that may cross their life path. It is best to keep an open mind to opportunities of all kinds both right under our nose and otherwise..

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by nocomfortzone

I can only speak for myself but I think that while what you are saying is true, it doesn't quite take into account the whole picture. For sure the girl for you can be next door or on the other side of the world. I wouldn't deny that and I don't think anyone else would either (but I could be wrong).

When I got started with this all of a sudden a Russian women that I knew and was very much attracted to and who lives only a few miles from me began talking to me. Yes! And in my search for an FSU women a Chinese lady whom I had no interest in initially bedazzled me and captured my attention quite unexpectedly. So I am fully aware that anything can happen.

I do think the idea of "limiting" oneself as you suggest depends on your perspective. What exactly does that mean? To some extent most people "limit" themselves because they marry within their own social sphere, which by definition will always be limited. A man however who goes on the internet, hasn't limited himself, but actually opened the door to far greater possibilities than he would ever have otherwise.

Even if he shuts the door to the local crowd, by virtue of the internet he has opened the door to a far greater crowd. So it really doesn't matter if he limits the internet crowd. That "pool" will still be much bigger than anything local. I'm 99.99% sure that if a woman were to show up in the life of every man in this thread who meets his criteria 100% and he fell in love with her, but she wasn't from his preferred region of the world, he would marry her, even if she lived next door.

Which really drives home the point. In something like this you have to focus your time, energy, and resources. There may be a woman for us anywhere, just as there is a chance we can win the lottery. But in actively pursuing a wife you have to focus on where you think you might have the best success.

The fact is in my case there are very few single attractive Orthodox women of child bearing age living in America. If you don't believe me I would be happy to take you on a month long tour of Orthodox Churches in America. Orthodoxy is growing in America, and as such that may one day change, but right now it is just a fact.

It is also true that an inordinate amount of western women have bought into the fundamental lie of feminism, that men and women are not different, except for a leftover piece of evolutionary biology that exists a few inches below our waistlines. This idea fuels all feminist thought and affects the way a woman speaks, talks, dresses, and views the priority and goals of her life, among other things.

Now can I find western women who don't buy this crock of baloney? Sure. But I'm more likely to find that outside of the west, and that is where I choose to concentrate my efforts. If a woman shows up who is outside of my regional boundaries, great! But I will focus my effort in the places I am most likely to find what I want.

Doesn't mean match or yahoo won't work (as your own experience has shown), anymore than it means a site loaded with scammers might not yield a true gem. But just as most of us limit ourselves to the better sites, so we "limit" ourselves to the places where we are most likely to find the kind of woman we are searching for.

Posted by: nocomfortzone

Quote:

Originally Posted by goforit

I anything can happen.

I do think the idea of "limiting" oneself as you suggest depends on your perspective. What exactly does that mean?

I simply meant limiting oneself to possibilites in a mathematical sense.

Quote:

To some extent most people "limit" themselves because they marry within their own social sphere, which by definition will always be limited.

Well, no, that is not what I meant by limited. Sure, if I was to only look within my own city or social sphere I would limit my chances to finding an ideal partner which I was doing at first. Awakening to the fact there could be ideal partners beyond my own region or social sphere increases the chances of crossing paths with them. But If i was to decide i'm only looking in my own country or one region (say FSU) as some choose to do on here then I see that as limiting my possibilites.

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A man however who goes on the internet, hasn't limited himself, but actually opened the door to far greater possibilities than he would ever have otherwise.

exactly...

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Even if he shuts the door to the local crowd, by virtue of the internet he has opened the door to a far greater crowd.

Well this is where we disagree. Sure the internet opens the door to a greater crowd but there is more chance of meeting a woman you like and even more importantly a real relationship grow and *evolve* in physical proximity. That is common sense.

Meeting someone online or offline is very different that stands to reason if you are talking about a relationship that involves physically being with each other.
I'm sure is what we are all talking about ultimately as a partner.

Quote:

So it really doesn't matter if he limits the internet crowd. That "pool" will still be much bigger than anything local. I'm 99.99% sure that if a woman were to show up in the life of every man in this thread who meets his criteria 100% and he fell in love with her, but she wasn't from his preferred region of the world, he would marry her, even if she lived next door.

Which really drives home the point. In something like this you have to focus your time, energy, and resources. There may be a woman for us anywhere, just as there is a chance we can win the lottery. But in actively pursuing a wife you have to focus on where you think you might have the best success.

The fact is in my case there are very few single attractive Orthodox women of child bearing age living in America. If you don't believe me I would be happy to take you on a month long tour of Orthodox Churches in America. Orthodoxy is growing in America, and as such that may one day change, but right now it is just a fact.

Well you are putting your own conditions of an ideal partner for yourself there. That is fine.

Sure there maybe less probability of you finding an ideal woman for you nearby but just keep open to there still will be some. The moment you stop being awake to that possibility you automatically limit yourself.

That is all I meant by one limiting oneself.

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I will focus my effort in the places I am most likely to find what I want.

That is exactly my strategy. Focus efforts on an enviroment that is more likely but still being awake an ideal woman could cross your path anywhere, be that physically crossing your path or over the internet by some means.

Quote:

Doesn't mean match or yahoo won't work (as your own experience has shown), anymore than it means a site loaded with scammers might not yield a true gem.

I think you are just confusing the idea of where to focus your efforts on looking ,with some guys completely shutting off regions as quite a few are doing. That is what I was talking about. I always feel once a person closes their mind to an ideal partner based on region alone that is when they truly limit. That is different to what you are doing. I sense you are still open to meeting an ideal partner in your region but you have a strategy where you've come to the conclusion your efforts are more likely to find one by focussing on a certain region. That is quite a distinction from if you said you won't even consider a woman from your own country. That is sad when I read that from guys that had a few bad experiences with woman from their own country and they then decide all from one country woman will be like that.

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by nocomfortzone

I simply meant limiting oneself to possibilites in a mathematical sense.

Yes I understood what you meant. I was asking a rhetorical question which I proceeded to answer in the next sentence as is evident from the full quote:

I do think the idea of "limiting" oneself as you suggest depends on your perspective. What exactly does that mean? To some extent most people "limit" themselves because they marry within their own social sphere, which by definition will always be limited. A man however who goes on the internet, hasn't limited himself, but actually opened the door to far greater possibilities than he would ever have otherwise.

Quote:

Well, no, that is not what I meant by limited. Sure, if I was to only look within my own city or social sphere I would limit my chances to finding an ideal partner which I was doing at first.

Yes I understood you didn't mean that. I was just pointing out that is how 99% of all people choose their spouse, so anyone who has broken out of that mode is not limiting himself compared to just about anybody else.

Quote:

Awakening to the fact there could be ideal partners beyond my own region or social sphere increases the chances of crossing paths with them. But If i was to decide i'm only looking in my own country or one region (say FSU) as some choose to do on here then I see that as limiting my possibilites.

In a pure mathematical sense, sure. But the FSU is a BIG place, and unless one believes there is only one true soulmate for life, for all practical purposes "limiting" oneself to that area really means nothing. The pool is too vast to have any practical effect.

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Of course, but by virtue of going on the internet, unless one limits themselves to their own local area, this is impossible upfront, and it would contradict your statement about being open to the untold mathematical possibilities.

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Meeting someone online or offline is very different that stands to reason if you are talking about a relationship that involves physically being with each other.
I'm sure is what we are all talking about ultimately as a partner.

Personally I think this route gives one a greater opportunity to evaluate the nature of their relationship, rather than have it clouded by all the haze constant physical proximity usually brings in the early stages.

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Well you are putting your own conditions of an ideal partner for yourself there. That is fine.

Don't we all? I could have written a few other non-negotiables but we all have them.

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Sure there maybe less probability of you finding an ideal woman for you nearby but just keep open to there still will be some. The moment you stop being awake to that possibility you automatically limit yourself.

I think in a pure mathematical sense you are correct. Practically speaking, I don't think it really matters.

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That is all I meant by one limiting oneself.

Understood.

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Ah, then we are in agreement here.

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I think you are just confusing the idea of where to focus your efforts on looking ,with some guys completely shutting off regions as quite a few are doing. That is what I was talking about.

I don't think we are really disagreeing. I think you are taking statements by some of the guys as absolutes and I am taking them as what they want, but if what they want shows up next door, then next door will be fine. They just don't think such a woman will show up in their local sphere. They could be wrong about that, but if they have the time, resources and dedication to follow this path through, in the end I don't think it is going to matter.

I could be wrong, but if some sweet betty shows up who fulfills their dreams, but happens to be from Canada instead of Moscow, I think they would jump in a heartbeat. Someone please correct me if I am wrong.

Quote:

I always feel once a person closes their mind to an ideal partner based on region alone that is when they truly limit. That is different to what you are doing. I sense you are still open to meeting an ideal partner in your region but you have a strategy where you've come to the conclusion your efforts are more likely to find one by focussing on a certain region. That is quite a distinction from if you said you won't even consider a woman from your own country. That is sad when I read that from guys that had a few bad experiences with woman from their own country and they then decide all from one country woman will be like that.

Yes I'm open but you are right, I'm putting my efforts in the areas where the trends favor me.

I think in the end however, given the sheer number of women in the FSU, we all will get what we want, even if we limit the mathematical possibilities.

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by goforit

I could be wrong, but if some sweet betty shows up who fulfills their dreams, but happens to be from Canada instead of Moscow, I think they would jump in a heartbeat. Someone please correct me if I am wrong.

I have written that I search for my mate in FSU, and that I would not find what I was looking for here in a Western woman, and Yes GFI you took my words and meaning in the correct context. Do I feel that the FSU women has the attitudes I search for ----YES
do I think I can find these same attitudes in a Western woman----NO

If I found my sweet betty working down at the local meat packaging plant would I turn her away because she lived in my own home town ----HELL NO

I just believe like you, that my best chance to find what I am looking for resides in a different country.
GFI you called it properly, everyone else read into it what you want