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car accident
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Posted by: deccie

Just over a day ago I got some paniced sms'es from K.

She was in hospital but didn't elaborate as to why she was there.

I got a good mate of mine to contact K's mother (who doesn't speak English) and find out what was going on and what if anything I could do to help.

I don't know the exact details but it appears K was struck by a car while crossing the road resulting in at least one broken arm. I don't know if there is any more injury than that yet and she will be getting surgery later today.

K has asked me to come to her so I am currently trying to work out how and how quickly I can get there. Complicated by the fact of course I need a new Visa and invitation. This is complicated further by the fact that the local Russian Embassy has VERY restricted hours for doing Visas and getting a Visa is a process that takes three days minimum even if you live in the same city - which I don't. (which means more time off work to do the Visa)

So, the earliest I can see me getting there is over a week away.

My other concern being of course I don't want to be a third wheel in the situation especially for the mother who actually is doing most of the care right now.

So, I'm torn by my choices.. I really want to get on that plane NOW! And go, but I'm not convinced it's the best choice to help K better.

I hope she is up on her feet bugging the medical staff very shortly!

Posted by: AkMike

Sorry to hear about this accident. I hope that you're able to call her soon and not sms's! I hope that she gets well soon Deccie!

Posted by: deccie

I hope so too Mike.

I've been asked not to call or sms her for now as the doctors took away her cell phone for the time being.

Posted by: royalpalace774

Sorry to hear that news Deccie. I hope she recovers quickly.

Posted by: AkMike

Bummer Deccie!
It really sucks being so far away from your lady at times like this. I hope you get the visa soon!

Posted by: Jerico

Hey Deccie,
Hope things are ok with your girl.
As everyone else has said ,hope she has a fast recovery.
Jerry

Posted by: Chrismc

Deccie

I hope everything works out fine and your lady is OK, I guess this is one of the downsides of an International relationship, if they have a problem or worse an accident there is very little you can do about it from the other side of the World.

Anyway I hope it is not as bad as it could have been.

Chris

Posted by: redhawk

d,ya twoje.
i will pray for her and you. this i think is one of my greatest fears with my girl in moscow. your woman is VERY fortunate.
last time we were there riding in a TAXI,there was a poor old dead guy just laying in the middle of the street,that had just been hit. knocked right out of his shoes all twisted up from rolling. one policeman sat cones up around his dead body as cars just whizzed by at breakneck speed. i quickly covered my girls eyes,(it was on my side of the car,she couldnt see)and the driver said"it was his fault,no big deal!"

kinda reminds me of the machete people in africa.

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by deccie

I hope so too Mike.

I've been asked not to call or sms her for now as the doctors took away her cell phone for the time being.

That's the part that sucks, when I had my heart attack last November, I still had my cell in my bag but turned off. There was no phone in the ICU but I would sneak in the bathroom and text my lady to tell her what was happening. First time I turned it on, she had left 8 messages wondering what happened to me. I just had to let her know.

Posted by: DKatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by deccie

I hope so too Mike.

I've been asked not to call or sms her for now as the doctors took away her cell phone for the time being.

Sounds drastic for a broken arm. Hope all is well and that you hear good news from her soon!

Posted by: deccie

Thank you for all the good wishes guys. I will be sure to pass them along.

K should be getting a delivery from me tomorrow to brighten up her day.

I gather Russian hospital food is not very pleasant so my mate might be running a food shuttle service for her for a little while!

The operation is done and from what I have heard so far it went well. I bloody well hope so!

Thanks again guys.

Posted by: Buckeye5704

You're both in my prayers.

Tim

Posted by: blucatz

How about an update? How did everything go with K? Is she doing good?

Posted by: deccie

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucatz

How about an update? How did everything go with K? Is she doing good?

opps.. sorry!
She is at home now and must be feeling better because she is complaining!

She needs about 3 months of rehabilitation therapy and possibly some more surgery on her arm and leg.

I have progressed on my visa front and have almost everything to go and see the consulate shortly - I just need to be able to take some time off work.

However I may not be able to do that for a little while since I have already had a couple of days off due to some of my own health issues. I just got a wisdom tooth pulled tonight that had broken in half.. OWWW!!!

And I had to go to three bloody dentists to find one who would pull it!

I had sent some flowers for Woman's day which she loved.. and sent a tonne of sms'es for her today which also delighted her. So all in all it is looking good right now.

I'm certainly thankful the outcome wasn't worse!

I still can't wait to get there though. It shouldn't be too much longer to wait.

Posted by: AkMike

Make sure that you tell her that we were concerned about her!
Happy that she's doing better!

Posted by: blucatz

Well, if she's complaining, then your right, she must feel better. Good luck and have a safe trip.

Posted by: deccie

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

Make sure that you tell her that we were concerned about her!
Happy that she's doing better!

I did that Mike. She told me that all these people she didn't know thinking about her and hoping she would get better really cheered her up. It made a difference!

Posted by: deccie

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucatz

Good luck and have a safe trip.

thanks blucatz. The most hazardous part will probably be going back to visit the consulate to get the Visa. The road is something like 200-250 km long and almost dead straight. Yet, despite that we normally see a minimum of three road crashes each way every time. Last time I came back on that road I saw 5 heavy vehicle crashes.

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by deccie

On a road thats straight? sounds like people falling asleep to me from being too bored.

Posted by: deccie

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucatz

On a road thats straight? sounds like people falling asleep to me from being too bored.

I'm sure some of the accidents are due to people falling asleep at the wheel.

I'm sure some of them are due to the fact Indians and Omani's are really bad drivers.

Let me put it this way.. To become a driving instructor here you paint your car a certain way, walk into the police station, They do a criminal history check, you pay your fee and BANG! Your done!

On my first day in Oman i had a taxi driver miss my hotel turn off and drive 100 metres up a freeway overpass. He realised his mistake and then proceeded to reverse back down the overpass - against traffic doing 120km an hour!

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by deccie

You sure you were not in a taxi in Moscow!!!!!

Posted by: deccie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chillidog

You sure you were not in a taxi in Moscow!!!!!

Omani's make Russian drivers look good.

On my second day here, on the way to the hotel we passed a car going the other way down a hill... no biggie there.. except the car was on it's roof!

Posted by: blucatz

Less wear and tear on the engine that way. Saves on fuel too.

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucatz

Less wear and tear on the engine that way. Saves on fuel too.

Plus increadible mileage on the tires

Happy your lady is safe and feeling better

Posted by: deccie

Well, I just left Russia today after spending a week with my lady for the first time since her accident.

I got to see the exact spot of the accident (near her home) and a description of what happened.

Essentially she was run over by someone at a pedestrian crossing at night time and the driver did not have working lights on his car.

I must admit I wasn't quite prepared for the reality of the situation. The scar on her arm after surgery is "significant" to say the least.

It looks like the major injury is loss of the use of the injured arm. The same one the Russian doctors operated on and inserted two metal pins.

I would estimate that right now she has still lost the use of about 80% of that arm and defintely favours the other one. She is unable to raise the arm above chest level without significant pain. BTW, when visiting second doctor after leaving the first hospital she was found to have fractured the base of her spine... and the first group of doctors never even guessed she had that injury!

For now it is just take things one day at a time.

Posted by: Chrismc

I am terribly sorry to hear that Deccie, it must have been a shock for you, I hope she gets better in time, I can only imagine if something similar happened to my wife, how distressing it would be for all of us.

Take care,

Chris

Posted by: royalpalace774

Quote:

Originally Posted by deccie

Well, I just left Russia today after spending a week with my lady for the first time since her accident.

I got to see the exact spot of the accident (near her home) and a description of what happened.

Essentially she was run over by someone at a pedestrian crossing at night time and the driver did not have working lights on his car.

I must admit I wasn't quite prepared for the reality of the situation. The scar on her arm after surgery is "significant" to say the least.

It looks like the major injury is loss of the use of the injured arm. The same one the Russian doctors operated on and inserted two metal pins.

I would estimate that right now she has still lost the use of about 80% of that arm and defintely favours the other one. She is unable to raise the arm above chest level without significant pain. BTW, when visiting second doctor after leaving the first hospital she was found to have fractured the base of her spine... and the first group of doctors never even guessed she had that injury!

For now it is just take things one day at a time.

Sorry to hear about your lady deccie. I hope she recovers and gets better and yo and her have everything turn out ok. I know you never expected that to happen to her.

Posted by: JohnnyLaRue

It sounds like she is a fighter and not the type to give up. I truly hope she gets well soon.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Deccie, you know that were all thinking of you and your lady. Its good you have been able to spend time with her and have been able to finally see the reality of the situation. Take care mate and pass on my well wishes to your better half.

Posted by: Texas Proud

OUCH!!!

Sorry to hear... hope it heals better than you are saying... she needs to get physical therapy quickly or she will lose the use of it...

Posted by: deccie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud

OUCH!!!

Sorry to hear... hope it heals better than you are saying... she needs to get physical therapy quickly or she will lose the use of it...

I agree with you TP. They were my thoughts exactly.

Posted by: deccie

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLaRue

It sounds like she is a fighter and not the type to give up. I truly hope she gets well soon.

She is that defintely. The second lot of doctors were amazed the hospital did not find the fracture to the coccyx. In part they did not find it because K just tolerated the pain. She said it was easier for her to sleep on her side. If she just lay back in bed the pain was intense. I'm very proud of her and how she handled this.

I also want to pass a final comment to someone who is called a moderator here. GTR, never EVER make a comment about my lady again. She has enough to deal with besides cretins like you. She does read RMP and to read what you have written about her would add to her distress in a situation she just doesn't need right now. Make comment about me all you like. I'm a big enough target. Only a wimp and a loser would target a woman he has never even met.

Posted by: Stirlitz

Wow. I haven�t seen GTR post in this thread�

Posted by: deccie

He hasn't in this thread Stirlitz. But there have been others.

Posted by: Spakoyna

So why bring it in here? Warn him with a PM!

Quote:

Originally Posted by deccie

He hasn't in this thread Stirlitz. But there have been others.

It is a terrible thing that has happened to your lady. I know it must be tough for you to leave her in that condition. Hope she pulls through this without long term pain or disability. Has she been told by her doctor to do physical therapy?

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

So why bring it in here? Warn him with a PM!

My thoughts exactly Spak.

Posted by: deccie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

So why bring it in here? Warn him with a PM!

The comments GTR were made in public forum space so I reserve the right of any replies in the same space.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

Thank you for your comments Spakonya. They are still sorting out what doctors to believe. There is a complication in that both K and her mother belong to a sort of medical cult in Russia. I got dragged along to such a session this trip. Some of what they beleive in the cult is pretty much right.. but nevertheless it seems like just another "cult of personality" to me.

Posted by: GoeastLJ

Best wishes, Deccie.

Posted by: clark

Quote:

Originally Posted by deccie

The comments GTR were made in public forum space so I reserve the right of any replies in the same space.

Thank you for your comments Spakonya. They are still sorting out what doctors to believe. There is a complication in that both K and her mother belong to a sort of medical cult in Russia. I got dragged along to such a session this trip. Some of what they beleive in the cult is pretty much right.. but nevertheless it seems like just another "cult of personality" to me.

Medical cult? Would you mind expanding on this a bit further? Are you referring to some holistic group?

Posted by: EasyTarget

Deccie:
If the injuries are as bad as you have written (if not worst), she needs to see a physical therapist very quickly -- and on a regular basis 3 or 4 times a week. And she might need to search around and find one that really knows his / her stuff.

How do you "miss" a cracked vertebrate? Unreal.

Best wishes on a speedy recovery.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:

Originally Posted by EasyTarget

How do you "miss" a cracked vertebrate? Unreal.

In many countries that would be called incompetence. Makes me appreciate what I have in Oz even with its many faults and problems.

Posted by: Texas Proud

Quote:

Originally Posted by EasyTarget

How do you "miss" a cracked vertebrate? Unreal.

From what I remember reading.. (and who knows if it is correct)... many people miss a cracked vertebrate... especially the coxxyx (sp)... and IIRC, they don't do anything with it anyhow... there is no way to 'dress' it... so you have to live with it until it heals...

But, one of the big misses on auto accidents is a broken neck.... when it gets whipped around, there can be a crack that goes undetected... if the patient does not tell them anything about 'pain' they might not check for it without hearing something to make them think to look...

Now, an open wound on an arm that can have you lose the use of it... well, you think they would be able to do better...

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Deccie, the only reason I bring up your lady is because you bring up my ex lady. As I said, don't post about me and I won't post about you. I've said this countless times and for some you reason you continue to bring it up.

As far as your lady, I am sorry for all that has happen and I am glad she has recovered. I know how you feel when the one you love is in the hospital with a serious condition. One thing about these FSU women is that they are fighters and it is difficult to break their will.

Best of luck to her and believe it or not, I hope all works out with you and her and are very happy together.

Posted by: Chillidog

Deccie,
It was terrible news when you first wrote about your ladies accident, to now hear some first hand information and affects of this accident is even more upseting. I do hope, wish, pray that she will get better. As all have said and you know for yourself, her getting physical therapy soon, and often is very important to her recovery and use of her injured arm, and I beleive also will help her mentally to feel she is doing something proactive in her own recupperation, so I hope logical minds and her support group in Russia will understand and support this type of treatment.
K, I am sure is in all of our prayers and thoughts, and I personally wish K a full recovery, their spirits (FSU women) are amazing but even they need moral and phyiscal support. I am sure being there has helped her greatly

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Deccie and GTR, please do us all a favour, have a kiss and cuddle and just make up.

Deccie you know you have my support, GTR you also know I'd help you out if I can, both of you know that I don't agree with you at times. Now get over your issue with each other and stop commenting on people you don't know in any way shape or form.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

As I said, don't post about me and I won't post about you. I've said this countless times and for some you reason you continue to bring it up.

This is the clincher isn't it, It only takes one of you two to stop this, otherwise its gonna keep going in circles. I wonder who has the common sense to see this.

Posted by: Spakoyna

Ditto!

Quote:

Originally Posted by OzGuyLooking

Deccie and GTR, please do us all a favour, have a kiss and cuddle and just make up.

Deccie you know you have my support, GTR you also know I'd help you out if I can, both of you know that I don't agree with you at times. Now get over your issue with each other and stop commenting on people you don't know in any way shape or form.
This is the clincher isn't it, It only takes one of you two to stop this, otherwise its gonna keep going in circles. I wonder who has the common sense to see this.

Posted by: deccie

Quote:

Originally Posted by clark

Medical cult? Would you mind expanding on this a bit further? Are you referring to some holistic group?

http://www.fhal.ru/energy_healing.htm gives some basic information.

Posted by: Buckeye5704

Quote:

This is the clincher isn't it, It only takes one of you two to stop this, otherwise its gonna keep going in circles.

Quite right! This forum is one of two that I frequent (the other is for Old Woodworking Machines, OWWM) and I come here because the people are generally very easy going. It only only takes one wrong word or phrase to create a misunderstanding, but it can also only take two words to clear it up. "I'm sorry" (ok I'm is actually two words, shoot me). GTR has extended what I believe is a sincere best wishes so...

Now, I was horrified when I read your account of what happened to K and I have often thought you of both since you first reported it to us. I am very happy to read that she is on the mend and I pray for a full recovery for her Deccie. Please keep us posted on her progress.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buckeye5704

GTR has extended what I believe is a sincere best wishes so...

Yes you are right so I don't know why OzGuy said to stop commenting about people we don't know when he sends me PMs and comments about my fiancee ... who he doesn't know ... and calls me paranoid. He also asks who has "common sense" ... sounds like an insult to me. Maybe he is trying to make matters worse, as he usually does, with this posting. He has also never been to the FSU so I wouldn't put too much stock in his postings anyway.

Do me a favor OzGuy ... and I have asked you before, don't put your nose where it doesn't belong ... in my business.

Posted by: Pin Boy

you may consider using the ignore button. i've used it.

pb

Posted by: deccie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pin Boy

you may consider using the ignore button. i've used it.

pb

If I am not there already feel free to add me to yours.
Frankly I wonder why your even here still.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

Why on Earth did you feel the need to bring pvt discussion into the open public forum? GTR, seriously you just put the last straw on this camels back.

Your gf commented on an entire nation and you posted that in public, I commented on your comment of your gf's comment. If you don;t want people to comment in public the don't bring it into the public arena.

As for being to the FSU sorry GTR my friends know why I haven't gone yet, I also don't need to rush to marry the first woman I see either.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pin Boy

you may consider using the ignore button. i've used it.

pb

Its a pity us non-mod members can't just ignore most of the mods here, believe me we would be if we could.

Posted by: deccie

K is going to the doctor's again later this week. We are going to attempt to find a physical therapist from there but K doesn't hold out much hope.

If we fail in St Pete's we will explore other options from there.

The biggest hurdle so far is the mother who is trying to force k back to work - as far as i can see - far too early.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

Quote:

Originally Posted by deccie

K is going to the doctor's again later this week. We are going to attempt to find a physical therapist from there but K doesn't hold out much hope.

If we fail in St Pete's we will explore other options from there.

The biggest hurdle so far is the mother who is trying to force k back to work - as far as i can see - far too early.

Hope it goes well for K mate.

Posted by: eddie465

I hope K is better very soon.

Posted by: tonton

Deccie,

Long time no talk - sorry to read about what has happened to your lady. God speed for quick recovery and she has a healthy outcome...I understand the hurt and frustration that happens with such accidents and hope her spirits are high.

Posted by: deccie

Thank you for all your good wishes.

We are currently investigating options. More (good) news soon I hope.

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

GTR,
I do not know what is going on between OzGuyLooking and you, and it is not my buisness, but I am not sure I understand one part of your post

My feeling is "what is said in a PM stays in a PM", to me PM's are of personal nature, it should be used to air "the dirty laundry" in the proper setting. Not to say PM's do not have other uses, but one should always consider a PM as private in nature.
I would take offence with anyone who went public with a discussion that was taking place in PM's.
I am not sure that this is what is happening and so that is why I wrote this because I am not sure some comments and this 'Hosility' is being spilled over from "PM's" and now being aired publicly.

My nature is not to let little things in life upset me, others are more sensitive, but there should never be any name calling or mud slinging, if it comes to this it should be handled in PM's.
We all offer nothing but our opinions and experiences in life. I am not sure stating because someone has not been to Russia makes his opinions totally invalid, that would be saying that "only Russian women" act this way, that they are a breed/sex/race apart from all other women in the world.
My question would be then how many trips do we then consider a person must take before his opinions become valid, or should we only take the advice from those who are married? or when do we start considering a marriage successful and the advice of those being valid? after 2 years, 5 years, 10,20 or not "until death do us part"? if it is about a specfic place or location then yes a person needs to have been there to give advice. Even though there are cultural differences that come into play, we are still talking mainly male-female realtions, and in relations I think in most if not all relationships "women-are-women". I would not discount anyones opinion, all of us must weigh the comments and make the best use of them, many do not hold water, many do, it is for each of us to decide

Posted by: GoingToRussia

I don't want to start this all over again. The book on OzGuy is closed in my opinion. If he wants to battle it out in public or private that is fine with me.

Now this is my opinion and it has nothing to do with OzGuy. As I say, it is my opinion and I'm sure there will be agreements and disagreements.

Just because someone goes to college to study a profession ... any profession, does not mean he is qualified to teach or perform this profession. It takes time and especially EXPERIENCE to learn.

Posted by: Chillidog

GTR,

that's fine, like I said it does not involve me and it is none of my buisness just trying to understand what you meant when you refered to the PM's in your post. I respect your feelings and opinions as I try to do with all posts.

the reason I brought up the "not travelling to Russia" had more to do with say someone like me who has made only 2 trips or say some one like Blucatz that is currently making his first, and what bearing our thoughts or opnions have in a forum such as this?
Personally I try to make only posts where my input can be constructive and have some value (and I am sure some will say some of my posts were hogwash). I do think those like Chrismc, or Spakoyna, Jericho, JamesB and all the others I did not mention who are married, have seen more and experinced more and their posts to me naturaly hold more weight, but there are others going thru the process that also in my opinion add greatly to RMP regardless of how often they have travelled. so like I said this was more of a personal question/issue with me. Like all other's I am not going to be upset or go to war with you if you disagree with my feelings, so cheers

and thanks for your response

Posted by: GoingToRussia

I don't disagree with you at all! You have been to the FSU and have experience. I probably learned more the first time I went then any other time. I thought I knew and learned a few things before I left but experiencing it and actually being there was so much different. It was all so new and a great experience I will never forget!!!

Yes Blucatz was never there but he never gave advice based on being there. I remember when I first joined the RMP, I was always asking questions and never gave advise until I returned and had some experience and stories to tell.

"Book smarts" are fine but you need experience to be believable when you give advice.

Posted by: OzGuyLooking

This is getting pathetic, talk about me when I am here and at least have the guts to allow a response from the person you are discussing instead of ignoring it.

GTR, I grew up with Russians, I have Russian friends who have given me a great insight into the Russian soul and mind. I pass on what I know from them. I have NEVER claimed to have been there and to be an expert on Russia because I have been there. My "smarts" to use your terminology isn't "book smarts" it is knowledge gained from growing up, living in the same community as, being friends with Russian people who have taken me into their world. These are people who have lived in Russia and spend more time there than you do. These are people who are Russian, not Americans, Australians or Brits who have holidays there and try to get hitched, but Russian people who were born and bred there, many of whom still live there, and many of whom spend a fair amount of their time there.

You don't care for my opinion that's fine, at least discuss it in an adult fashion and stop bringing outside crap into the discussion just because you don't personally agree with it.

Admin might consider deleting this and the last few posts as they have absolutely nothing to do with this thread and have only served to take it off track.

Posted by: deccie

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

Just because someone goes to college to study a profession ... any profession, does not mean he is qualified to teach or perform this profession. It takes time and especially EXPERIENCE to learn.

That must be it! I understand GTR's motives now! It's all clear! He's trying to get experience in marriage with as many different women as possible to help him push that post count ever higher!

Posted by: searcher

Quote:

Originally Posted by deccie

That must be it! I understand GTR's motives now! It's all clear! He's trying to get experience in marriage with as many different women as possible to help him push that post count ever higher!

ENOUGH EVERYONE!!!!!

THE PERSONAL ATTACKS WILL STOP ON ALL SIDES!

Understood? GOOD!