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The Gorillaa
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Posted by: AkMike

A small zoo in Alabama obtained a very rare species of gorilla.

Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very
difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian
determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make
matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of
Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible
for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks,
had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy
a female of any species.

The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby
Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing
to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?

Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to
think the matter over carefully. The following day, he
announced that he would accept their offer, but only under
five conditions:

"First", Bobb y Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips."
The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

"Second", he said, "She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever'
T-Shirt." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Third", he said, "you can't never tell no one about this."
The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Fourth", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised
Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.

"And last," Bobby Lee said, "I'll need another week to
come up with the $500.00

Posted by: Longfellow

Rednecks have a whole different notion about the meaning of 'Animal Husbandry'!!

Posted by: blucatz

OMG Mike, your killing me down here with these jokes

Funny thing, I have an ex hillbilly brother-in-law that I think you just described.

Posted by: AkMike

Is his name 'Bubba'?

Posted by: AkMike

Another Gorilla Joke

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As I sat in my breakfast nook the other day I chanced to look out into the back yard and saw a gorilla sitting in the tree in our yard. With a somewhat suprised tone in my voice I called to my wife "Honey, there is a gorilla in our tree"
"I Know" came her reply "I called the service."
"What service?" I called out.
"The gorilla removal service." she said, appearing somewhat annoyed.
I started to object, "there is no such..." when she tossed the yellowpages in front of me, open to the relevant page headlining ACME GORILLA REMOVAL SERVICE.
"they will be here in a few minutes." I was told.

Sure enough there came a knock on the door and when I opened it there stood the man my wife was expecting, complete with company insignia and a name tag that said simply "Bob"

"Help me unload my truck and I will explain how this will go." Bob said.
When we approached the truck I noted that it did in fact say ACME Gorilla REMOVAL in large letters across the back.
The man opened the back, climbed in and began handing out gear as follows.
1. Climbing spikes
2. large ash pole
3. stainless handcuffs
4. Remington shotgun
5. Huge muzzled, foaming at the mouth German Shepard

As we stood beneath the tree, looking up at the gorilla, Bob explained that he planned to put on the climbing spikes, climb into the tree, knock the gorilla out of the tree with the ash pole. When the Gorilla hit the ground the German shepherd was trained to go for the gorilla's privates. When the gorilla put his hands down to protect himself I was instructed to put the cuffs on and Bob would lead the gorilla away.

I considered for a moment then asked the obvious question. "Bob, what's the Shotgun for?

"If that gorilla knocks me out of that tree, you shoot that $()%)# dog!!!"

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

Is his name 'Bubba'?

No, Billy Joe Jim Bob