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Tashkent
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Posted by: WhittierRWBound

So I met this very nice woman from Tashkent and I am interested in knowing her. Two Issues raised question marks in my Head she told me:

"In Tashkent I worked as nurse at the depot in the underground."

Does anyone know what this 'Underground" is?

also she says:

"During 2 years(2002-2004) I lived and worked in Saudi Arabia,in Jeddah.
I have passed exam as nurse(I have Certificate Saudi Councel for Health
Specialities.)"

This second one raises the requirement for providing Police reports from every place the fiancee has lived. Does anyone know how to obtain or request a police report from Saudi Arabia. Is it as simple as going to the Saudi Arabia Embassy in Tashkent?

Also, I wonder about your thoughts on what she tells me.

Thanks

Posted by: AkMike

I don't see any red flags with what you've shown here. The "underground" might be a subway/ metro terminal.

I doubt that you could get a police report yourself. Maybe a lawyer of PI. If they have them there.

Posted by: Pin Boy

aren't you jumping the gun a bit with the police report idea?

pb

Posted by: AkMike

Have a look at the post in the newbie section by Annie. She's looking for someone for mommy. Mommies in Kazakhstan just to the north. Maybe a back up plan?

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Sorry I meant to say Certificate. The US Emabssy in Tashkent shows this information about documents to have ready.

"Police certificate(s): from each place an alien relative lived longer than 6 months since turning 16, with a translation. Uzbek citizens should apply for a police certificate at the Information Center at the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Uzbekistan, address: ..." So I wondered about how would she get a certificate out Saudi Arabia, where she lived, from Tashkent where shw lives now.

Posted by: AkMike

Maybe skip that portion of it. She could have been at home the whole time without any police contact/criminal history..

It would come under the K.I.S.S. principal

(Keep It Simple Stupid) (No offence I hope)

EDIT; Forget it.. I forgot about the passport stamps.. It'd be noticed..

Posted by: stevo

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

I don't see any red flags with what you've shown here. The "underground" might be a subway/ metro terminal.

And indeed Tashkent has an extensive metro system with 36 stations. I would think that's what she's referring to.

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Good point Mike and Stevo thanks. Is anyone in the know, how Police Certificates are requested out of Saudi Arabia? or for that matter from countries outside the FSU where RWs lived. Elena lived in Saudi 2 years

Posted by: AkMike

I'd send an email to the US embassy in Jeddah S.A. and ask them how to do what you need. I'm sure they're familiar with it.

Posted by: dagpop

My wife Rima is from Taskent and says that they have a subway, but did not know what the depot was. Maybe they have a first aid office in the subway.
I can not help you with the police report question.

Posted by: stevo

Quote:

Originally Posted by dagpop

My wife Rima is from Taskent and says that they have a subway, but did not know what the depot was.

It's where they park the trains for the night.

Also presumably where all the drivers and maintenance staff start and finish work. Wikipedia says there's a depot at Khamza.

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Thank you all for your support and answers. It may be a mute point, I don't really know. I sent her a very nice comlpete email, but it had, I think a presumption about her interest in me. So she has not responded. I waited 2 days and sent a second email being apologetic, she read it and did not respond again. I delcared I am serious about pursuing a relatinship to marriage without saying words like "you're beautiful" or using romantic words. I thought that she might be thiniking about my response and reflecting, becuase she did not simply deleted my email. She told me that she could see that I had a good energy in my responses to her. So I don't really know what is going on. If she chooses to not respond, I think this will be over.

So I guess this is my introduction to communicating with RWs. The first was a drop. She was 33 asking me to reply..I did and responded OK the first time. The second time gave a convoluted answer with her words, my response in Russian followed by my english translation. Almost point point.... fell like a lump of lead ... on my foot!.

With Elena I was a lot more careful. So I guess I have to learn...... I feel like "it has to go very slow" "step by step" "carefully as you go" Is this the sense some you gents had? If so, what was your secert success?

inquiring minds want to know

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

her email:

Hi Rudy!

I glad to receive your very interesting emails...even in russian,it sounds very nice!
When I read I dont know why,but I feel myself comfortable and with pleasure I would
like to mention that you have some good energy,and it seen even through message.
I sure you are realy strong and you can take decision if it needs,I afraid even to
drive a car,I confuse on the road...
Very difficult to describe what am I?Sometimes I am very strong,in some situation
where most people hesitate or confuse I am very brave,but sometimes if for somebody
something is clear for me a difficult to do...
But I think I spontaneous person,emotional and sensitive, the life
without lover looks very poor and I need as all women to be loved and have this feeling
inside me.
I had in past a love and I can love,in my horoscop I am a "tiger",in my life everything
happended suddenly,I did not wait but it comes.
I never dremt about my life in Saudi but I lived during 2 years and keep still good
impressions about people and my work there.
Arabs suggested me marriage,but you know a muslim rules alow to have 4 wives.I dont
understand how man loves 4 women at the same time?
I am christian and of course I can not accept them habits,but it was wonderful time
i couldn learn the other culture and a little language.
Rudy you know now I live in Tashkent,the capital of Uzbekistan,working in small clinic
but I have no satisfaction from my job,my real life out of the work.
My son Arseniy an engineer,we have very close relationship...
I read a lot of medical literatures,collect herbs in mountains,if you suddenly got cold
i will prepare you very taste and useful tea with my herbs,I put there my soul and soon
become fresh!
Also I attend many lectures,learn untraditional treatment and of course I follow heath
style of life:no smoke,no drink,exercises every day and like so much to swim,but now
very cold,this winter wonder us,we know now how people live in Alaska.
During 2 months temperature held -20-22C!
Everybody write:I am loving,caring,tender,but are you able to listen?
Tell me what kind of woman do you want?How fast you understand this lady for me?
Very interesting to know what make you happy,and can you be angry?
How many times you spend with your daughters?I see you have big family.
Are you realy ready to accept new woman with other culture,habits?
Do you like early morning?I am no...

Rudy I would like that our young and fragile relationship will grow...Elena
If you can tell me something from your past life?

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

My response: So as I do this...I imagine some you might see what I obviously cannot see.

Hello Elena, First let me say that I am happy we are getting to know each other. I am glad that you have a sense of goodness from me as you read my emails. I have to say that I feel happy about receiving your emails and I feel that you are a woman I find attractive and I a really want to know. I agree with you that we are seeing a young and fragile relationship grow within our hearts and in our minds. This may when we can be nurturing this fragile beginning as we seek to learn and understand each other. It is far too easy to give up at the first sign of concern, it is perhaps more rewarding if we endure this beginning to learn that we are right for each other. Do you agree?

I like knowing that you have a good sense of knowing when you feel strong and without hesitation take action; yet you recognize and see in others strengths you may not have. I see in you a deep appreciation of your strengths and limitations and this is good.

I have a similar understanding about myself, but I think that I go forward without hesitation even when I may not have complete understanding. What is important is having the courage to say openly that we don�t know clearly or we don�t completely understand. Then move forward and take the courage to lead others; this requires courage, wisdom, and humility. I find that strength sometimes is found in being understanding and not overpowering. Do you feel this way also?

In this way we also show that we can rely on each other and trust that we could compliment each other according to our limitations as well as where we are compatible.

There are times when I will not hesitate. I read Russell Ackoff and he says that we rather should do the �right thing wrongly, than the wrong thing rightly� This means to me that I have to have courage to do the right thing when others may feel weak to do so.

I plan to send you a study made about my professional behaviors. In there you will find some qualities that I hope will give you a better understanding of what colleagues see in me. I think this is better than speaking about myself.

I like reading that you are spontaneous. I think this quality I would always enjoy in you. I love having freedom to be spontaneous and go places or let the mind freely speculate about alternatives or possibilities. I would love to see this in you.

I hope that this relationship grows and I would be the man who will love you and care for you. I was attracted to you because you look great. More importantly, I read that you take care of yourself and you have told me that you don�t drink or smoke. I see in you a very bright intelligent woman and I am attracted to you because in your emails I sense a wonderful spirit in you. I want to know more of you.

I want you to know that I am only corresponding with you and I have no plans to communicate with any other woman.

You mention about the hesitation you had in Saudi Arabia about the muslin law allowing muslim men to have 4 wives. I can only tell you that if this moment I were communicating with another woman, at a very minimum my mind would be divided in two.

I could not read your emails without comparing you with the other woman. I rather chose to nurture this relationship and find out, without any other factor, if you and I are meant for each other. Do you agree with my approach? I hope you are pleased that I am not in communication with any one other than you.

You ask me more about what I want in a woman.

What is important for me is meeting someone who is a good person, with a good heart, and has a strong sense of loving commitment and values in a relationship that creates a strong loving and happy family.

I am serious about finding the right relationship. Elena, do you feel this way?

I believe in communicating thoughts and feelings openly, especially to the person you are in a relationship with. So I hope you also would like me to tell you what I think and how I feel.

I feel that I am romantic, and be romantic to the one I love. I would cook dinner for you, bring you flowers, and write you poems. I hope you want this from me as well.

I am seeking having a committed and peaceful lifetime partnership with the right person; that is happy, healthy and profoundly rewarding. I know I am capable of making this happen, so I hope you would want this happen as well.

I also want a woman who will support and compliment my life purpose as much as I want to be the man to support her life purpose.

Elena, I can absolutely say that I am ready to accept a woman who will show me a new world with her culture and her habits as much as I want her to accept me as I am.

Posted by: AkMike

That took her alot of time to write! It looks good so far Rudy!

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

My last email..maybe this is for the "port mort" analysis

Hello Elena, I have learned that the proper to address you is in this manner given that you don�t really know me, and I am learning about how to use the proper language with a Russian lady.

I am learning and I need your generosity to forgive these errors. I have been thinking these last two days, I must say that when I said:

�I am glad that you have a sense of goodness from me as you read my emails.�

I did not intend to convey that somehow I feel successful and have confidence that I am conquering your heart.

I want you to know that I ache over how to tell you that I am sincere about my intentions. I do not at all abuse your kindness and take it like a thief.

Please forgive me if this statement caused that impression in you. The only excuse I can give is that I am excited about meeting you and I went too far in my interpretation. I painfully realize this is a fragile beginning, and it is worthy of the best I could be. And I promise I will always seek to understand and respect you

Also, when you asked me if I was ready to accept �a new woman with other culture, habits� I gave too much of a simplistic answer.

What I know is I would love to know more about your life and what is important to you. I know I need to learn about your culture and habits. My previous answer was a reflection of how confident I feel. It was a poor answer because it did not address your question and I apologize.

Please know, that I am taking time to learn about Uzbekistan, Russia, proper manners that Russian Women appreciate and the Russian language. I do this because I find Russian women attractive and they are serious about having relationships that will lead to marriage. You and I started in this way, this is not how relationships begin where I live. I want to be clear from the start, I want to nurture a relationship the will lead to marriage. This is what I said to you and it is how you spoke to me.

I ask, that you have forgiven my mistakes. I shall be better; I am a good person who learns about your wonderful world. I shall not be sharp or bad, I promise my love, my respect, and my kind heart. I wish to know more about you, I hope, that you will answer.

If you respond, Please tell me about what kind of foods you enjoy. I want you know that I want to know more about your interest in medicinal herbal. I especially was thankful when you said you could prepared me eta if had suddenly a cold.

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Mike But I don't understnad why she has read my emails but not yet responded

Posted by: AkMike

No clue... But give her time and if she doesn't write back .... Move on..
IMO It's not good manners to leave someone hanging w/o a clue what's going on.

Posted by: dagpop

I wish you luck on your relationship with Elena.

Posted by: Seaview

If she gets about five letters a day as long as these ones it will take her a lot of time to translate them and to respond.

You are at an initial stage of relationship, it actually means that she gets mails from other guys and if she is attractive she might get dozens a day. it takes time. I know for sure

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

OK good point Sea ..So I should not re write ... and simply wait? I see no value in pestering her.

So being at an initial stage coul also mean that if she decides, she might answer...within days? ... week or two?

Posted by: Seaview

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhittierRWBound

OK good point Sea ..So I should not re write ... and simply wait? I see no value in pestering her.

So being at an initial stage coul also mean that if she decides, she might answer...within days? ... week or two?

She might answer in a week or two. True. Or she might never answer...or she might have some favourites already so she will be willing to answer them at first...

... anyway, waiting for her reply in two days is a bit too optimistic. What if she asks a friend to help her with translation and so on. You never know.

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

OK gents I don't think I will be sharing more...but I am so cool Happy right now!!

Hello Rudy!

Thank you very much for your letters...
I with interest to read about your life, work and what you are looking for.

In one of your message you write that 3 years after your divorce your life will be difficult.

What do you mean?
I don't understand you said that difficultness because of you lose some finances.

You want to be honest and open with me it is nice. You are hard worker and are you waiting same from me?

Resently i was invited for wedding party of my friends.

My russian friend Larisa married with Belgium man and before he obliged her to sign marriage contract.

Waht about you if you marry again? You will do same?

I do not looking for a rich man, of course i need first friend, lover...

But i don't want if suddenly my beloved say me: you need to hard work because of i can not protect you...

Tell me that truth about this delicate things.
I don't want to offend you i want everything to be clear.

With warmth Elena.

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhittierRWBound

Tell me that truth about this delicate things.
I don't want to offend you i want everything to be clear.

With warmth Elena.

So I proceeded to answer with some of my financial information, The challenge I have from my divorce for the next thee years, why I thought I could still offer security and protection and so on.

She read/deleted my email responses gave no response.

Is providing the financials after being asked for the truth of the matter the wrong thing to do?

Can anyone help me understand

Posted by: AkMike

IMO actual numbers are private stuff. Speak in generalitys but not hard numbers. She just wants yo be assured that you're not a pauper with a huge debt load.

Posted by: stevo

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seaview

If she gets about five letters a day as long as these ones it will take her a lot of time to translate them and to respond.

Not least because the English is rather wordy, complicated and (in some places) idiomatic. A non-native speaker will have a lot of trouble with it. Her English is very good but I doubt it's good enough for her to understand absolutely everything.

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Thanks guys good lessons hard learned it appears. But I do send all my letters in russian I use the IM translator website. I take my time trying to make sense of what I say. I think what Mike says is the real deal.

ich bin dumpkoff

Posted by: AkMike

Or she could be finding out how much she can con you out of... Ya never know..

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

Or she could be finding out how much she can con you out of... Ya never know..

Yes, thought already traveled throught the noodle. So I watch as I go.

Posted by: stevo

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhittierRWBound

But I do send all my letters in russian I use the IM translator website. I take my time trying to make sense of what I say.

Does it let you translate the Russian back into English again so you can check that it looks OK?

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Yes it does so I am trying my best. So Happy again, she responded but is concerned if I can be a good provider.

Posted by: clark

Whitt

Her concerns seem to me to be very valid ones and now must be addressed. It would appear to me that you are the one who almost emphatically stated your positions, emotionally, physically and financially. It came across to me as much too early in play for emotions or futures. Almost to the point of being much too technical.

I have no idea how this will play out for you but let me ask you this: would you have divulged that much personal information with an AW with whom you have had that little contact with? Probably not. It does appear that she wasn't expecting you to either. Loosen up. The first thing you want to do is to get to know her. Do that and don't try to rush it all in the first 5-10 emails. Take your time and don't act as if your a$$ is on fire. She's a person, get to know that person and let her get to know you with out dumping everything on her at once.

Quit sweating weather or not she answers your emails or why she may taken days to do so. It is not unusual especially in the early stages of contact. Also quit relying on email and get her phone number as soon as possible.

I really was reading your thread objectively and I have to say I thought from your mails to her, you kind of sound like a scammer would sound. I can't blame her for being cautious and it appears that she is.

She is a person and she is a woman. Treat her like one in your correspondence. Not some one you are looking to enter in a contractual agreement with. Last but not least, go see her as soon as possible.

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Thank you very very much Clark. Your response is very well recieved. On of my last responses;

"Elena I feel that my last response to your email also offended you. Please know that thought the issue of finances is a delicate issue, I thought that it was right of you to find out. I think that if I am asking a woman from Uzbekistan to consider me seriously as a man she would marry, It would be right for you to know my financial conditions. I did not think that you are only interested in money. So please don�t think that I am intending to say �see all I earn so you should consider me�

When You said to me �Tell me that truth about this delicate things. I don't want to offend you i want everything to be clear.� I thought I would give all the facts, and therefore I wrote all the numbers about my finances.

You said to me before that it had been your dream to be an economist, so I decided to tell you about the reasons why I wanted to move to the east coast. In each case, I gave you the truth.

I also think you are a very attractive woman and other men are giving you promises. I felt I needed to reassure you and show you I am secure about my future.

So if you believe me to be a man who tells you the facts as they are, then you should also know I am telling the truth now.

If I had met you here, I certainly would not have told you how much money I make. But I consider this situation differently. I am a man from the other side of the world who tells you I want to create a relationship that leads to marriage. I thought it is proper for you to learn the facts about my finances.

Elena, please know my that I think of you as a real and serious woman. I am sorry that make so many mistakes. I hope I hear from you again.

With hope, Rudy "

And she replied when I said:

"Elena, I need to know if you seriously want to correspond. I am serious about my intentions, but I doubt how you are considering me as a man you like to know since you don't answer my questions.

As I said, you attractive and you may be considering other choices from other men. I have been reading information about places to stay in Tashkent. I am curious, I think ahead, and I usually prepare ahead and think things trough.

I gathered information about the costs of travel, the I am ready to go and meet you, but only when knowing each other leads us to agree to meet in person. I

I don�t want to waste your time or mine, but I did not join this service only to send emails. "

I am only correponding with her and another woman aske me to see her profile, so I send this email to see if she would respond. She responded so I sent, a kind "no thanks" email to the other lady.

Clark I am learning how to properly respond. I asked her in the last email if she wanted to exchange home addresses. I thought after that I would request contacting her over the phone. My plans I told her, are that if we agree, I would go see her this summer. But you are right that I feel that want to hear her responses fast..and I think I am over doing it

Posted by: Chrismc

Whittier

When I was in the looking and chasing game, I used to ask for a phone number right upfront, in fact in my first long email to them, and then after 2 or 3 emails I used to arrange to call them, whether they spoke any English or not, it didn't matter, you can tell much easier what a person is like over the phone than you can in emails. The first few phone conversations coupled with regular emails would give me a good idea of what the lady was like. It saves a lot of wasted time and effort on both sides.

Goodluck
Chris

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrismc

Whittier

When I was in the looking and chasing game, I used to ask for a phone number right upfront, in fact in my first long email to them, and then after 2 or 3 emails I used to arrange to call them, whether they spoke any English or not, it didn't matter, you can tell much easier what a person is like over the phone than you can in emails. The first few phone conversations coupled with regular emails would give me a good idea of what the lady was like. It saves a lot of wasted time and effort on both sides.

Goodluck
Chris

That's good advice. My first couple of calls to my lady, we couldn't understand each other very well, but the more we talked, the easier it is. Now, we know each other very well, and I prefer to talk on the phone than write emails, I hate to wait for an answer...LOL. Plus, you get to hear that sexy Russian accent, you can tell by the tone of their voice what mood they are in, you just get a better over all feeling of the situation over the phone. Get the number, forget the address for now.

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Got a phone Number!!!! Will be calling her tomorrow and the noodle is like a popcorn bag inside a microwave at 1min 30 sec!!! This is incredible Wow thanks Guys!!

AKMike told me say Allo and have fun...easier said than.....

Posted by: AkMike

Just don't try to overthink things. Let the chips fall ....and have fun! This isn't the best part of a good relationship but it's right up there! Remember she'll be as much or more nervous as you are.

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Just finished sending an email in response to her question about my divorce. Is this something you gents were asked?

Posted by: joelunchbox

I don't think I can offer any advice here....I don't think Lola and I have ever swapped a single email as long as yours. We just emailed what ever we were thinking and when I visited, we hit it off unbelievable well. I sort of wish I could write that much but it isn't my style.
As long as each of you are enjoying the exchange, it is probably going good.
Internet service where Lola lives is sporadic and unless she is using an internet cafe, she may be suffering connectivity problems.

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhittierRWBound

Just finished sending an email in response to her question about my divorce. Is this something you gents were asked?

I have been married 3 times, oh yeah, I was asked a lot of questions about my divorces...LOL

Posted by: clark

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhittierRWBound

Just finished sending an email in response to her question about my divorce. Is this something you gents were asked?

Congrats on the phone number but trust me here, that really isn't a major victory. It's more like any serious RW would have been expecting you to ask for it. For the most part they are not in the market for pen pals. Set up a time and call her as soon as conveniently possible for you both. I found it helpful to establish a time of day or night when she can expect your call rather than calling anytime you choose.

Yes the events of my divorced seemingly are always asked and I handle it the same way each time. As soon as they inquire, I give a brief yet detailed description of the marriage without disparaging the ex or sounding bitter. It is also a good time for you to ask some of her relationship history.

AKMike had some good advice a few posts back. Loosen up and get to know her. Let her get to know you and for your sake, don't offer too much information that she doesn't ask for. Answer her questions honestly but don't bore her with facts. Whitt, your in a conversation stage of a long journey. Let the journey happen. Seems to me like you are trying to determine your outcome and plan everything for that to happen. Stop that. Get to know her through conversations and see if you like her as a person. If you do or you don't you'll figure the rest out on your own I suspect. Good luck and I hope your outcome is what you want.

Posted by: dagpop

Most women want stability and security, if they come to a new country. They don't want to go to another country and get in a worst situation, than they are in. I let my wife know that I had a good job and I would love her and her children. That easied her mind and thing went well after that. Don't be afraid to talk about anything. Women like humor and romance. It is good you have her phone number and talk about simple things the first time. the phone system in Taskent is not very good. sometimes you have a good connect and can hear and other times you can't. you might have to call a few times to get a good connection. good luck

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

gents I posted twice before and the message got dropped. But let me say WOW!!

First phone conversation went well...She the sent me a lon email with more photos. I want to say many thanks gents...your counsel is much welcomed. She is asking some serious, yet reasonable questions. So I feel that we are getting to a more solid place. I have good feelings about this and I am feeling good!

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhittierRWBound

gents I posted twice before and the message got dropped. But let me say WOW!!

First phone conversation went well...She the sent me a lon email with more photos. I want to say many thanks gents...your counsel is much welcomed. She is asking some serious, yet reasonable questions. So I feel that we are getting to a more solid place. I have good feelings about this and I am feeling good!

Ok Whitt, keep up on the phone calls, make them a bit more regular and exchange as many emails as you can and time allows, things will start to happen if it is meant to be. If it isn't then you have learned a bit, move on and try elsewhere.

Chris

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Our last phone conversation was more difficult, she could not hear me very well. We agreed she would send me her questions via email. She continues to be concerned about my ability to support her. She know I earn a good salary, but is in the belief that I will be continuing to support my children after. Two are in college and will get some support form me, but not to the extent of financial harm. That is what I told her.

Posted by: blucatz

Wow! I can't believe you are already talking about financial stuff this early in the relationship. You havn't even met her yet. Stuff like that you need to keep very general right now, there's plenty of time to get specific later on. I have been talking to my lady 4-5 times a week by phone for 3 months now and the closest we have come to finance talk is she asked how much I paid for my house so she could compare to how much she paid for her flat. Neither one of us has no idea in actual numbers what each other makes or spends per month on expenses. Plenty of time later for that, have to see how the first few visits go first before talking about finances.

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Think I made an error? Yet it will reveal how far she will take this. I do think that she is asking reasonabe questins, and if she is satisfied, she will be more open to me as we move forward. yet, is only a theory..is it not?.

Posted by: blucatz

It is not normal for her to be asking such questions this early. Even an AW would not ask such questions this early in a relationship, and they are here. You usually don't get into that type of discussions untill some type of firm committment has been made, such as an engagement or something like that. Not in the early stages. I think a word of caution is in order here, don't give up too much detailed info just yet.

Posted by: dagpop

I think she asks those questions because she wants to know if there is a future in continuing a relationship with you. She will leave everything to move to the United States and wants to be sure you can take care of her.

The telephone system in Tashkent can be very bad. I have had to call several times and still have a bad line. Sometimes you can get a clear line.

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Thank you gents, I am tracking carefully to see how this evolves. I am hopeful that it will like Dag, yet the noodle dables into Catz zone as well. So, I will walk and learn as I go. You are right, the phone system is bad on her side; I can hear her though. So I don't really get how it could be bad for her and good for me since is the same connection. hmmm more to think about!

Posted by: Spakoyna

I think a serious woman will ask these questions! Just be damn sure ya leave some padding in there!

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

I think a serious woman will ask these questions! Just be damn sure ya leave some padding in there!

I agree, but this early in the relationship? Can you call this a relationship yet? A woman asking me this kind of detailed financial information this early would cause alot of red flags for me. But, thats just me.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

It's been my experience that the more money a woman has, the more she is likely to ask about money. My first girl had as much money as I did and asked about money quite often. The girl I'm seeing now is dirt poor and has never asked about money. When I speak about how much money we will have to do something, she says okay or I'm not worried about it. I'm sure it's because she trusts me and knows I will take care of her and her son.

Posted by: Chrismc

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

It's been my experience that the more money a woman has, the more she is likely to ask about money. My first girl had as much money as I did and asked about money quite often. The girl I'm seeing now is dirt poor and has never asked about money. When I speak about how much money we will have to do something, she says okay or I'm not worried about it. I'm sure it's because she trusts me and knows I will take care of her and her son.

I agree with that too GTR, that is the experiences I have had with FSU women.

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Thanks Gents. GTR's comments do not fit this case. I started her concern by telling her that I had alimony & child support to pay for the next 3 years, but she had little to be worry about. She asked how can I proide since I have a big family (3 kids). My answer was that financial provision was already included in the amount I give. She was in Saudi for two years and got exhaustion and stress. She returned to Tashkent and was told "doctors said me (I made a lot of analysiss)you have exhaustion your nervous sistem because of overstrain" She could not work full time and strgguled for a while. Now she works part time.

So she is not asking for anything thus far. She is writing me more and giving me answers. I asked about her marriage and she answered. Her niece was in the US as a tranfer student, she told me. She developed a perception from her niece that Amreicans work hard and are on the go; which is different from her culture. She knows I've been putting long hours, so I fed into that perception.

Posted by: clark

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhittierRWBound

Just finished sending an email in response to her question about my divorce. Is this something you gents were asked?

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Clark - thanks for the advise you provide. Based on you recommendation,I am modulating my approach. She says I am persistent..energy I took this as a sign of too much on my side...I was told by a colleague at work that I am a "Hot blodded Latin".. So thank you

Posted by: clark

Whitt

I apologize for the duplicate post on your thread. It is related to the forum and it's continuous burp. It sounds as if you may have leaped that early hurdle you put up on yourself. The telephone conversations are a positive sign but again I caution you on the information you provide. Certainly there is going to be the answers/questions phase. Let her ask the questions before you give her the answers. The stuff you offered up in your early emails surprised me. I would have expected a different reaction from her but it appears it is working out for you and thats another positive sign. She seems to be serious and specifically, serious about you.

The telephone connection CAN be bad for her and not for you or vice/versa. It happens quite often when I call. We try to define if it's good enough for conversation and if not we hang up and call right back. Usually doesn't take but a couple of tries before we get a good to decent connection. Of course this is US/Russia, it maybe different to Tashkent and I've heard it was.

It appears you are doing fine. Just keep in mind she is a lady. Talk to her, joke with her, romanticize and get serious at times with her just as you would do with any other woman through conversation. The various communication barriers make this difficult enough already. Good Luck Whitt

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Clark - I am very comfortable we are having long emials and pjone conversations. She feels comforable with me and she is serious. She is no longer asking financial questions. Both she and I agree to get to know each other, but I do feel very comfortable with her responses. She is reponsive and I also answer her questions. So far........ so..........GOOD!

Thanks a lot for your support. Your comments, again, are well received and I will continue to ask for your guidance, if you don't mind.

Posted by: blucatz

You may have mentioned this already, but, have you came up with a timetable on when you will possibly go and visit the lady yet?

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

I am thinking the end of August; probably spend 10 days in Tashkent and give us a real good chance to get to know each other.

Posted by: AkMike

August? Bump it up several months! You can get ready before that!

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

think so?

Posted by: clark

Whitt,

I too am a little baffled as to why the long wait? I know you are still early in phone conversations but August is a long time away. Of course it is up to you and only you know when you can go but consider a few things;

1- Women in general respect a man who is decisive and takes control.

2- A long period from introduction to actual meeting can present a host of problems. Example: a) boredom, it can be very difficult to carry a spark for your newfound lady or her for you for another 6 months through phone calls and emails. b) during a long period of time such as that expectations can get increasingly high, let letdown can be just as low.

3- While you sit around fat, dumb and happy waiting for August in all likelihood she is still looking and someone could beat your time and arrive in July.

Keep in mind these are just scenarios but likely scenarios when you have a 6-7 month window before you meet. There are many more such scenarios. Neither of you even know if or how much you like each other until you meet. A relationship can only progress so far with limited knowledge of each other. There is no substitution for eyeball to eyeball contact.

Re-think your schedule and make your trip as soon as you can would be my advice.

Posted by: AkMike

Yep, There is a possibility of somone else writing here too. But my thoughts are to show her by actions that you're not a 'Keyboard Romeo' rather a serious suitor.
And if things go south after meeting then you can look around somewhere else.

Springtime is a wonderful time

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhittierRWBound

Thanks Gents. GTR's comments do not fit this case. I started her concern by telling her that I had alimony & child support to pay for the next 3 years, but she had little to be worry about. She asked how can I proide since I have a big family (3 kids). My answer was that financial provision was already included in the amount I give. She was in Saudi for two years and got exhaustion and stress. She returned to Tashkent and was told "doctors said me (I made a lot of analysiss)you have exhaustion your nervous sistem because of overstrain" She could not work full time and strgguled for a while. Now she works part time.

So she is not asking for anything thus far. She is writing me more and giving me answers. I asked about her marriage and she answered. Her niece was in the US as a tranfer student, she told me. She developed a perception from her niece that Amreicans work hard and are on the go; which is different from her culture. She knows I've been putting long hours, so I fed into that perception.

with my personal experience with a lady that I started a K1 but it was never filed. The RW does not necessarly want to know monetary figures she just wants to be assured that you are capable of suporting her. In my case she had a 13 year old son so this was an additional concern, basically I assured her that I can afford the additional burden of two more mouths, that she would not have to work if she did not want. I told her I am not rich but life would be comfortable. In the beginning this I beleive a true woman looking for her mate is the assurance she is looking for.

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

OK so we had a conversation about this timeframe and I asked her if she thoughtit was too far. She told me that in August the weather is very nice in Tashkent. She asked me why in August. I said the reason is that the projects I ammanaging at work have critical milestones that need ot be completed the first 6 months of this year. I also said that I my projects are behind schedule that I also included July because it ciul possibly require me to be supporting and consuming my time. That was the reason why I said August. SHe knows that I am very busy and I am spending long hours (ave 10 -11 hrs). There is likelihood that I may go in July, therefore I would surprise her and say.."I am coming to see you in July instead of August". I thought it would be a a nice surprise.

Clark I really have a difficult situation, but you are making me think maybe I should have shorter trip earlier. She likes the idea of spending 10 days with her.

here is a segment

"...........You have interesting and difficult work,you need to concentrate on important things and I sure you necessary to get rest enough.
I am thinking of you,day by day I know you a little bit more and I glad our conversation even sometimes I didt hear you.

Your working day only start and I wish you good and easy day ...

As always I will waiting your reply with impatience...Elena"

I also worry that we are really having a good conversation and it seems that this relationship is growing....perhaps a bit too fast.

Posted by: clark

Whitt,

Everyone has different situations so there is no right or wrong determination of when you should or can go. Most of us however have been where you are. At first I remember thinking of all the planning and preparation (mostly work related) it will take so I too saw a 6 month time-frame. Then I thought what the hell? Lets look at it in a 3 month time frame and ironically enough that worked too. There are guys that go on a whim or with less than a month. It all depends on what works for you (and her).

Something to consider is this: Your starting out on a very long tumultuous journey. This initial trip is going to be but the very first leg of the journey. The longer you wait to make it, the longer the you postpone the end result. Whatever that may be.

Throw caution to the wind and quit worrying about the growing relationship. Let it grow. Just remember, you can't fall in love with a woman you haven't met but, you can with a fantasy you dream up in your head. She isn't a fantasy, she's a real woman. 7 months is a long time and anything can happen. Do yourself, the lady and everyone else making this journey a favor. If your not going to see it through to it's end, stop now.

Just my advice, take it all, a little or none at all.

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Have you gents seen this online gift site..have experience with it,,or know of how to send your RW gifts by Mar 8.

http://www.asap.ru/

Posted by: AkMike

You still have time to pick up something and mail it off. I just sent a package to Ukraine and I expect it to be there in a week and a half. We'll see....

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhittierRWBound

Have you gents seen this online gift site..have experience with it,,or know of how to send your RW gifts by Mar 8.

http://www.asap.ru/

Have not seen this site before, but have used "Russianservice.com" in the past. Depending on location of the woman will even take pictuers of her with the flowers. Every time I have used them the women were very pleased with the flowers. So I can highly recommend them if this is the route you choose to send your lady a gift for Women's day.

P.S. even used them to send flowers to a woman who I thought was not "real" good decision on my part-----

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Good points thank AK and Chilli...I think flowers ...but Mike akes a good point of picking something nice "Made in USA" perhaps

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhittierRWBound

Good points thank AK and Chilli...I think flowers ...but Mike akes a good point of picking something nice "Made in USA" perhaps

Even if it does take until August to see her, sending her an unexpected gift on women's day is never a bad thing

, and it will show her your true nature as a person and towards her. I hope everything progress the way you hope.

Good luck

Posted by: AkMike

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhittierRWBound

Mike akes a good point of picking something nice "Made in USA" perhaps

( Just don't send some of the stuff you make! Somone might get testy

if it comes up missing!

)

Something that you picked out for her personally would be better IMO. Flowers are great but hardly personal unless you are there to pick/select them.

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Gentlemen, Thank you very much! I had not idea how terrific it is for me to have met Elena. She is a wonderful woman. Guys, wow..I am so at easy and happy that my communication with her is going on and growing a desire for both of us to get to know each other.

Is it just me (I doubt it) but RWs can be so wonderful and gentle, yet full of dignity and strength.

I am so happy gents, our conversations are building us closer and we communicate daily clarifying via email. She is only communicating with me now and I am only communicating with her.

So far .......soooooo Good!

Posted by: blucatz

So is there possibility of a meeting before August?

Posted by: AkMike

It sound very good so far.. Keep it up.

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhittierRWBound

Gentlemen, Thank you very much! I had not idea how terrific it is for me to have met Elena. She is a wonderful woman. Guys, wow..I am so at easy and happy that my communication with her is going on and growing a desire for both of us to get to know each other.

Is it just me (I doubt it) but RWs can be so wonderful and gentle, yet full of dignity and strength.

I am so happy gents, our conversations are building us closer and we communicate daily clarifying via email. She is only communicating with me now and I am only communicating with her.

So far .......soooooo Good!

Terrific news, I think this is how we all feel about the RW, they are in all ways wonderful, gentle, dignified and strong. Still be patient if some misunderstandings come up, it is good to see you both feel a commitment to each other, no matter how close you become in letters nothing is real until you meet, until this time use good common sense.

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

It is true Chilli, a misunderstanding came up. We discussed over the phone and in emails. It is back on track I feel. It is another confirmation how wonderful RW are. I sent my March 8 gift using the service you mentioned before. Thank You.

Posted by: AkMike

Rudy, You're gonna melt her heart if you keep doing things right like this!

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Mike - I am amazed how well our conversation is going on. She is also happy and she says she is "waiting with impatience" my responses and when I call her on the phone.

Her phone got disconnected yesterday. She says the phone station changed the cable and her phone willbe off for a few days.

Posted by: AkMike

I know we've talked about this before and I know and understand your reasons... BUT I think you'd better go meet this lady ASAP! Take an extra day off for 4th of July.. You're butt'll be dragging from jet lag but you WILL be grinning from ear to ear the whole time.

Posted by: Chillidog

I agree with AkMike,
we can make up a thousand different reasons why to wait to meet a person, but if both of you are getting along this well, I would hate to see it fall apart, by waiting, go ASAP, you won;t regret it regardless of the outcome and will be able to experience her in person which no matter what the new technologies can never replace personal meetings. Wishing you luck and hope her phone problems get resolved soon.

Posted by: dagpop

Rudy, you need to allow time to get a visa to go to Uzbekistan. It will take about 2 to 3 weeks to get. You will have to go through the Uzbek Consulate
in New York.

Posted by: AkMike

CD, he has real legitimate reason why he's unable to trot over there now. But I would like to see him zip over for a few days.. "Just because".

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

Gents..feeling the love!! thanks.... I am getting passport and reconsidering your suggestion. The earliest could possibly be some time in July. I will touch the subject with Elena and assess the risk of loosing this wonderful RW. Dag I agree with you, I saw the web information from the Usbek embassy in NY; I plan to g through them.

Thanks

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by AkMike

CD, he has real legitimate reason why he's unable to trot over there now. But I would like to see him zip over for a few days.. "Just because".

Understood,
he feels good about her and it appears she feels the same, and so many things can happen in correspondence that a personal meeting can strength each persons feelings. If he is not able to go until August and she understands this, then that is good, just sometimes we can get cold feet and drag our heels and make up reasons to wait. We all must do what we feel is best for ourselves, financialy and spiritualy.

Whit,
wishing you the best, has she recieved your gift yet? This is a great gesture on your part! I remember the first time I used this service, I sent some flowers to a girl I had not met yet, for no special occasion just to show her I was serious about her. Well she e-mailed me stating that the flower service called her to set up a time for delivery, she said she was leaving work immediatly and was so happy and excited. So the next day I was expecting a wonderful e-mail talking about the flowers and everything, so when I read her e-mail she made no metion of the flowers, we had already arranged to talk on the phone the next day. The following day again no mention of the flowers in the e-mail, so I decided to ask her in our phone converstion about the flowers. and this what she said in short
"you are a wonderful, kind, generous man" I asked her if she liked the flowers and she said "They are grazdika's (carnations) they are flowers for grave"

from the time on I have always made sure to find out the woman's favorite flowers, and have never sent carnations to any women since

I hope she loves them, where you able to also order pictures with the delivery?

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chillidog

"you are a wonderful, kind, generous man" I asked her if she liked the flowers and she said "They are grazdika's (carnations) they are flowers for grave"

Let's all say it together now, OOPPS!

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucatz

Let's all say it together now, OOPPS!

Yea, what can I say, it was 2 years ago and I was young and naive at the time, being only 45

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

OK gents here is a bit of her response today:

"Hi Rudy!

You make me the most happiest woman in the world!!!!

I have received your gift today...thank you very much!I put very beautiful red roses next to me on the table...

how do you know that I like them too much?

With enjoy I eat a chocolate and I imagine you with me..."

We spoke this morning, and she immendiately started to give me thanks in Spanish! Her niece came to the US as an exchange student, and learned spanish.

We both agree that we can use this time to learn about each other and we feel very comfortable that this relationship is right for both of us. I must admit that I don't see us getting bored; we hit it off each time and we talk about many things. What really impressed me was one of her comments wher she tells me she feels comfortable that we will have a peaceful relationship. Guys, it is so comfortable; it just feels right.

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhittierRWBound

OK gents here is a bit of her response today:

"Hi Rudy!

You make me the most happiest woman in the world!!!!

I have received your gift today...thank you very much!I put very beautiful red roses next to me on the table...

how do you know that I like them too much?

With enjoy I eat a chocolate and I imagine you with me..."

We spoke this morning, and she immendiately started to give me thanks in Spanish! Her niece came to the US as an exchange student, and learned spanish.

We both agree that we can use this time to learn about each other and we feel very comfortable that this relationship is right for both of us. I must admit that I don't see us getting bored; we hit it off each time and we talk about many things. What really impressed me was one of her comments wher she tells me she feels comfortable that we will have a peaceful relationship. Guys, it is so comfortable; it just feels right.

That's the way it should feel! It is the true beauty of this kind of relationship, yes they are still woman, but when they are happy and have a man who is attentive to them, they return this affection and are just as attentive to us and make us feel like a million bucks. They (FSU women) want what we want, to be appreciated and loved, continue treating her as a princess and being attentive to her and she will return these feelings to you. I wish you continued happiness

Posted by: WhittierRWBound

CD you are absolutely on target...A good reminder...thank you.