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Scaring me back to Ameican women!!!!
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Posted by: ap101

The more that I read the more I see that I might be better off courting (for lack of a better word) American women. At least she lives in the u.s. and has to adhere to our laws. It seems to me that for every one of you that is HAPPILY married to a woman from the FSU there is 20 of you that have only found anguish and the few of you that are happily married, or even married for that matter it took you more than once to find the "right" girl. I don't mean talking to more than one girl either, I mean several of you it seems have been married more than once to women from the FSU. I know that women are women no matter where you are. We are from mars and they are from venus, figuratively speaking of course, but any man who has been in a relationship with a WOMAN from ANY country should know that. Just so you all know, I am not looking for a woman from FSU for things to be easy, I am not stupid, they are women too. and therefor they will always be a pain in our ASSES but they should also be the reason we ENJOY getting up and continuing on with life. I just want what my parents have and my grandparents had, LOVE. Love based on everything but MONEY. I know that All women and Men love money, or at least Need money to survive, but money is the root of all evil, we should control our money not the other way around. Anyways, it seems to me that I would be better off rolling the dice here in the U.S. at least then I know that If things didn't work out, my kids wouldn't be "Kidnapped" to another country. I am not sure i want to deal with all of this, I have read WAY more sad stories here than Happy stories and I haven't even scratched the surface yet. On a side note, what is the deal with Uzbekistan, I read that it is an Islamic country. The girl I am speaking with is "Whiter" than I am. Are Americans considered Infidels there or is that only the Extremists, and if so are there a lot of extremists in that country. I have been reading alot and am starting to get a little discouraged. Thanks guys you all have very useful things to say. I hope you continue to put up with my nonsense.

ap

Posted by: JamesB

Whoa, slow down.Yes many of the guys on here have had problems with scammers but these are usually uncovered fairly early on if you do the correct checks and take advice from the forum.

You say you are looking for what you,r parents had , well i married Liuda 18 months ago and we have a normal relationship, we argue sometimes and she gets grumpy as any other women but fsu women are far more family orientated and are very house proud and in some ways old fashioned.

If you really want something its worth persevering with and guys on this forum have often been set back but then found happiness.

You are relativly new to this so i would decide what you really want.You dont have to spend much as there are sites like Bride.ru where you post a profile free.

As for the kids thing.Liuda is in Siberia now and returns on saturday,if you have doubts as to whether your wife will return then there would have to be real issues.

As for the muslim lady,not all people from that region are dark skinned and they are certainly not all extremists.
I would suggest you just Put yor profile on some sites and just correspond and see where it takes you.

Posted by: deccie

Quote:

Originally Posted by ap101

On a side note, what is the deal with Uzbekistan, I read that it is an Islamic country. The girl I am speaking with is "Whiter" than I am. Are Americans considered Infidels there or is that only the Extremists, and if so are there a lot of extremists in that country.
ap

What does the colour of someone's skin have to do with the religion they follow?

If the girl is talking to you about possible marriage you have your own answer about extremists.

In a dominant muslim society a muslim woman would not be allowed to marry a non muslim. PERIOD.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

All good questions and concerns ap. As with everything in life, there is the good and the bad. It has been my observation and opinion that women from the Former Soviet Union (FSU) are more family and home oriented as JamesB said. The 2 women I've known were raised to create a happy environment and when someone is feeling down, they try to make them happy. They would like to have a marriage like our parents and grandparents had.

That's the good ... here's the bad. It takes money to bring a foreign bride to the USA. Yes many men have made 1 trip and submitted visa forms and lived happily ever after. They probaby spent about $3000 to bring a bride to the USA which is probably the least that could be spent. Realistically, 2-3 trips would be necessary and in some cases more. The second trip being as long as possible and being together as much as possible to see if you can tolerate living with each other. If things don't work out ... find another FSU woman with the first trip being at least $3000.

So let's say you get lucky the first time and find a FSU woman. She's in the USA now, you have to buy her new clothes because she arrived with 2 suitcases and a carry on. Then you have to have a wedding, buy a dress for her and suit for you, rings, honeymoon, yada yada yada. After you are married you submit forms to change her status from non-immigrant to immigrant. Today this costs about $1700. This is only the tip of the iceberg. There is other paperwork in the future until she becomes a citizen if she so desires.

What I'm trying to say is, this process will tax your budget so have enough cash available.

Next comes the waiting game. I submitted my paperwork in May for a fiancee visa. I thought she would arrive in December ... then in January ... now it looks like March. The waiting game and missing each other is probably 1 of the worst feelings I've had. Maybe it has affected me more then others I don't know. But I find it practically unbearable at times.

It seems the only stories remembered are the bad ones but there are some good ones. I think the good one aren't written about as often. I know 5 or 6 members that have had success their first time out but never wrote a story about their experience. Like in the USA, finding a wife is a taking a chance on love. Bad things can happen in your country just as they can happen in other countries. Don't let this bother you. Scammers can be spotted because they ask for money before you meet them, most of the time. Good Time Girls (GTG) will meet you but they only want you to take them places and buy them gifts. A reason to have a back up plan and have the first meeting to be in her city. The Green Card Grabbers (GCG) are the worst of the bunch. They marry you, come to your country, get their Green Card, then say Bye Bye and you have to support them like an ex-wife on allimony! There are many more good women to meet then bad but be aware the bad exist.

As far as Uzbekistan and other FSU countries. Many Russians live in these countries. They are not all Muslims in Uzbekistan. My fiancee was born in Moldova but her parents were born in Russia and she is orthodox. At one time Moldova was a big place for Jewish people to live. There is a member on this forum, Dagpop. His wife is from Uzbekistan and she is not a Muslim. And no, Americans are treated very kindly in Uzbekistan and everywhere I have been in the FSU.

I hope I haven't discouraged you from finding a woman from the FSU. I guess I hit more low points then high points!

I can only say I've never felt love from a woman like I have from women of the FSU. They have a mothering sense of caring for you. If you show them your love and respect, you will feel like a king and be treated like one.

I wish you good luck and happy days ahead.

Posted by: Longfellow

You are looking for love, like your parents and grandparents had. It may be easier to find that with a girl 'next door' rather than on the other side of the world. You would have more time and opportunity for dating, courting and developing a face-to-face relationship prior to marriage. And seeking a relationship with a woman from the former SU will require substantially more money. More than that, it takes heart and persistence to the process of meeting, marrying and emmigrating.
It may be easier, as you say, to meet and marry a woman in your own country. There are certainly far fewer challenges of culture and expectations. I had given up on American women - I found them far too fickle and driven by career and money. And then I met a wonderful woman here when I was not even looking. I feel very fortunate but I would not trade my experiences of corresponding with, traveling to Eastern Europe and meeting a woman there. I consider it a great benefit to my life, even though it didn't work out like I fantasized.
You need to be clear about yourself, your realities and your true desires in meeting a woman, any woman. I think success comes to those who have clear intent and understanding of who they are and what they want. I doubt any of the success stories here will mislead you that it was the easiest path to follow - only for them it was the right path.
Good luck!

Posted by: joelunchbox

HHMMmmmmm
Ny fiance is half Uzbek(father) and half Russian(mother). Her father was a nonpracticing moslem--try to figure that out! But under communism that was the way it was. Her mom is christian (orthodox). Lola is the most normal person I have met.
Maybe we should open a "what happened today on Springer" thread to remind us of some of the crazy stuff that happens HERE!
You will pass a big hurdle when you realize that "PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE". If you want to find the right person for you--you have to accept that that person may not live next door to you.

Oh, have to tell this story...Her dad didn't want her sister to marry the person she loved. He believed he should be able to arrange her marriage and I don't think he liked the idea of her marrying a russian.... Basically, her sister told her father forget it, she was going to marry the person she loved. They are still married today, they are a great couple and her dad did accept him into his family.
Lola's dad then tried the same thing with her.
Well, you don't raise well educated, strong willed women and be able to impose your wants on them.
I am very thankful that Lola waited for me to show up!
I am sorry I won't be able to meet her father, he sounded like a very good father. And, it would have been nice to be "arranged".

Posted by: dagpop

You're wise to find someone in the United States. Its a safe way to go. You have to have the fire in your belly to persue a FSU woman. Once you reel her in, you'll have the love of a lifetime. My wife is Uzbek and she has blonde hair and blue eyes. She was born in Russia. There are Russians and Muslims living there. The people there are friendly. There are many very beautiful women in that country. I don't think too many people get kidnapped there.

Posted by: Raspberry

Meeting a women close to home would be ideal. Problem is, it is not realistic for me........many of the ones I liked turned out to be flakes(cancelling dates and/or not showing up is one of my biggest pet peeves, and ultimately makes things futile here for me.). You've got some cuties that want to marry millionaires only(yes, lady, you are cute but not THAT cute to warrant this)....

I am a person that likes a sense of balance. Some women's lifestyles are too wild.....but on the other hand, there are some that are too conservative for my taste. So this narrows this down a bit.

Granted, I am not married yet. And things have not always worked the way I wanted them to be. But going to the FSU is in the right direction, at least for me. The values of most of these ladies are in synch with mine. And not only getting better women all around, they are also more attractive than what I have accustomed to dating in the USA.

Yes, a girl I had been seeing got engaged to another guy. But we had a good run of it, of over a year in correspondence and meetings. Which is better than I have done in a long time. And met many other nice people on my trips. So, it's a better deal, all around. More dates in the last year, than in the previous three.

Yes, it is difficult. But it takes dedication. I don't date anyone here. In fact, I don't even go out and do anything all that often. Many times I will work on my days off for other people, so they can do the same for me.

Finding a spouse abroad is not for everybody. But really I have no regrets about going about it this way. Most likely I would be constantly whining, and have no sense of direction, had it not been for the FSU girls.

Posted by: AkMike

As everyone else has said here, You have to grab the brass ring! Get your feet wet before you decide that the water is too cold for you. Use common sense but at least try before you give up.

Posted by: Jutman

Quote:

a nonpracticing moslem--try to figure that out

well, there is a lot of moslem in the world there is not pro Osama and so on. You can find moslem who eat pork even its against the book. They just don't do it in front of other moslem. Secondly a lot of them drink alcohol too, socially. Its seems your GF is one of them. She would proberly not like you see you get drunk aso, but a occasional beer with a buddy would be ok.

Think about the money this: If its the 3000 dollars as written for one trip and the initially introduction, time frame: maybe 1 year. If you date a local. How many dates will you be on, invite her to restaurant aso. Plus the local transport cost aso. You think it will cheaper. I dont'.

About the law. When she gets to your country, it will your law who is in charge.

The cross-interculturel dating is more challenging but also more interesting and rewarding.

Posted by: BAT 21

Interesting stuff and very exiting to read about the conditions, in the US,- it seems to me, concerning american women in the 2008, they are much like many womens behaviour in Denmark too, definitely not all of them, bcos there�s good ones too, they are just occupied !!!

Posted by: Raspberry

Likewise, there are people in America that claim to be of a certain religion, but don't practice it either.

Posted by: jpierce55

It is a tough deal. I am in one sense one of your sad stories, but I did develop a lasting friendship. Things did not work out for me, but it works for some.

Finding the right love is like finding a needle in a hay FIELD. Lots of fish in the sea, but some bite, some taste like crap, and some are plain ugly!!!

If you feel like it is the right thing to do keep searching. If you are unsure you should drop it, you don't want to waste somebody elses time.

As for Uzbeks? The ones I have met indicate a mixed culture, but they where Christians as some 11% are.

Posted by: vic2012

I agree with Mike. Take it easy dont rush it and dont try to do everything in just one visit. It took me six visits over 18 months to be absolutely sure in my own mind that, my fiance was coming here to be with me.

Maybe I've been lucky. Afterall she was in the the very first batch of intros that I replied to. And, I purposely wrote to women that, had a child, because I believed these women would be more stable in a relationship.

I had little to offer. I dont even own my own house, but she came and its been six months since she arrived and 5 since we married. I love her a little more every day and the 5 year old runs me ragged, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Its been absolutely wonderful.

Its an expensive, frustrating and often, a lonely business acquiring a partner from FSU, but believe me, it can end up very rewarding.

I have a personal theory that, the further your GF is from Moscow (like Siberia or Khazakstan), the better your chances. But dont quote me on it!!

Posted by: AkMike

Welcome back Vic! Haven't seen you around in a bit...
Sounds like you grabbed the brass ring and won big time! Good for you..
When I was looking I even went so far as to look in not only the populated cities I concintrated in the towns similar sized and temperatures to my area. Not many want to think about living in an igloo.

Amazing how many think Ak. is frozen all year around..

Posted by: Jutman

Code:

I have a personal theory that, the further your GF is from Moscow (like Siberia or Khazakstan), the better your chances

More or less agree. I would say forget the major cities today and i would'nt at anytime forget thoose who has good level of english. Its cost more in the beginning, but the chance of a scammer are less, much less.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Yes I've been doing some thinking. It seems the latest breakups have been with women from Russia and the Ukraine. Maybe looking in countries of the FSU like Georgia, Uzbekistan, or Moldova would be be a better bet.

Posted by: Raspberry

Armenia may be worth a look, too. Seems like more Armenian girls on sites, than in the past..

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by vic2012

I have a personal theory that, the further your GF is from Moscow (like Siberia or Khazakstan), the better your chances. But dont quote me on it!!

From my experience, that theory seems to be holding true to from.

Posted by: Testman

Also, don't forget that many men, once they find themselves a good woman, will simply not be hanging around on forums such as this. Where as the men who have had bad experiences will still be here, giving the first impression that unsatisfied men must be very common.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by Testman

Also, don't forget that many men, once they find themselves a good woman, will simply not be hanging around on forums such as this. Where as the men who have had bad experiences will still be here, giving the first impression that unsatisfied men must be very common.

I've had both and I'm still hanging around. I think most guys that have bad experiences leave and don't come back. The ones that stick around are the ones that realize a foreign bride is what they are searching for and they don't give up.

When my fiancee arrives, late this month I hope, I plan on not being around much but will be available via a private message. When your foreign bride arrives, you will be busy getting her settled, meeting new people, traveling, making new freinds, making wedding plans, enjoying time together and many other things. Men don't stick around because they are too busy with their new life.

Posted by: blucatz

Why would they want to, they are "Gettin Busy"....LOL, no time for here anymore.

Posted by: Chillidog

Since my my divorce roughly 6 years ago, I have dated AW and have been to Russia twice. Every AW and this includes going back to my youth prior to marraige have treid to change me in one fashion or another, to some it was they way I dressed (I was not GQ enough) others it may have been my hair (too long too short) another stated that I did not dance properly and that we needed to take dancing lessons if this relationship is going to progress (WHAT!). So it is the AW woman who has "scared" me to look elsewhere to find my mate. I have been to Russia twice and even though I am still searching, I do not regret these trips and in fact these women have strengthened my thoughts and feelings about FSU women in general.
I would say test the waters, use common sense, realize that this is a long journey, and you will have to spend a lot of money to accomplish your goals, but as pointed out by previous poster, if you take into consideration going out on weekly, bi-weekly dates over the ocourse of the next few years the money spent will be roughly the same.
Most of all first give great thought to this idea and if you are uncertain, then do not write a FSU woman, it will not be fair and just to her. Date in your local area and only when you beleive this is the path you choose then begin your search.

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

GTR, I hope she arrives soon!!! I think we all know that time will be considerably less, and everyone's priority should be to their mate and family, but do hope you will find on occasion to grace us with your thoughts

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Thanks Chill, I don't intend to stray too far. This place is great. It has information, support, guidance, someone to tell good news to, someone to help you through the bad times, you make new friends, you learn about a new culture, and hopefully have a successful marriage with a foreign bride. What more could a guy ask for?

This place is like family to me and I will continue to help out my "brothers" when asked. Just send me a PM. I hope to meet some of you this year after Larisa arrives. My first opportunity will be a Vegas wedding and all are in invited.

Good luck to all with their quest for happiness!

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

I hope to meet some of you this year after Larisa arrives. My first opportunity will be a Vegas wedding and all are in invited.

Good luck to all with their quest for happiness!

Vegas? Did someone say Vegas?

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by goforit

Vegas? Did someone say Vegas?

Yes that's the plan. I will make a special post to let everyone know where and when, the plan is mid to late April. I will of course need a count ... maybe we can get a room discount if enough plan to go. As of now, I know 1 couple that will attend. Larisa is looking forward to meeting everyone. She asks, "What's new" with this forum almost everyday!

Posted by: Spakoyna

Damn Dude! You haven't experienced a woman trying to change you until you get hooked up with a Russian woman! Take that as a FACT!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chillidog

Since my my divorce roughly 6 years ago, I have dated AW and have been to Russia twice. Every AW and this includes going back to my youth prior to marraige have treid to change me in one fashion or another, to some it was they way I dressed (I was not GQ enough) others it may have been my hair (too long too short) another stated that I did not dance properly and that we needed to take dancing lessons if this relationship is going to progress (WHAT!). So it is the AW woman who has "scared" me to look elsewhere to find my mate. I have been to Russia twice and even though I am still searching, I do not regret these trips and in fact these women have strengthened my thoughts and feelings about FSU women in general.
I would say test the waters, use common sense, realize that this is a long journey, and you will have to spend a lot of money to accomplish your goals, but as pointed out by previous poster, if you take into consideration going out on weekly, bi-weekly dates over the ocourse of the next few years the money spent will be roughly the same.
Most of all first give great thought to this idea and if you are uncertain, then do not write a FSU woman, it will not be fair and just to her. Date in your local area and only when you beleive this is the path you choose then begin your search.

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spakoyna

Damn Dude! You haven't experienced a woman trying to change you until you get hooked up with a Russian woman! Take that as a FACT!

Then I guess I will just take my chances, certainly can not be any worse that the women here, and at least she won't look like a bowling ball with a head stuck on top, or miss piggy

Posted by: goforit

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoingToRussia

While April won't work for me (unless it is after the 27th) I would love to go. At any rate I hope it happens sooner rather than later for you.

Posted by: joelunchbox

My fiance's interview is march 11. she is taking this week off to study for the interview. I have no idea what she is studying but I am honored that she is working hard to be able to come see me here. She is one of the bravest people I know. She has learned to drive at an age where many people would just say screw it. But, she believed me when I told her she needed to learn to drive and yes, it was a little scarey for her but-by gosh-she did it. And she did it for me!
She is beautiful, intelligent, funny and she worries about me all the time. And, I worry about her too!

I might have met this person standing in line at the grocery store in town, but the fact is....I met her online and she lives in Tashkent. It has never mattered to me where someone lived as long as we were right for each other.

Posted by: Chillidog

Quote:

Originally Posted by joelunchbox

My fiance's interview is march 11. she is taking this week off to study for the interview. I have no idea what she is studying but I am honored that she is working hard to be able to come see me here. She is one of the bravest people I know. She has learned to drive at an age where many people would just say screw it. But, she believed me when I told her she needed to learn to drive and yes, it was a little scarey for her but-by gosh-she did it. And she did it for me!
She is beautiful, intelligent, funny and she worries about me all the time. And, I worry about her too!

Fantastic news, I wish you all the best, and hope the interview goes well, and that both of you can be together soon. Will you travel to be with her at the time of the interview?

Posted by: blucatz

Quote:

Originally Posted by joelunchbox

I thought these interviews were basically asking you questions you are suppose to already know? Kind of like a job interview.