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I WILL not give up
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Posted by: derailed

Hello. My name is Truls and my first experience with FSU women was of course scams. Being the persistent type I will not give up. To help others and hopefully to get some comments on whether my entry into this is common I now post what has happened since I started early December 2007.

I recently became single after a 10 year old relationship. Being single is not my style and after a few months I started looking for a partner (in all the usual ways, fitness centers, out on the town, etc). I also signed up for memberships on a few national dating-sites (all serious and with a good reputation).

By accident I started chatting with a Russian woman there that at that point was visiting her sister in the city where I live. I actually met her on the town after a few days and we had a good time out, but parted as friends that same evening. Although we where not too good a match, this encounter sparked my interest for FSU women.

I started looking for dating-sites outside my own country and found, yes, rbrides and site2date....hehe....sucker. At that time I didn't know about the reputation of these sites and paid a 3 month membership on both sites....not a big deal....I decided I could afford it regardless of the 'outcome'...so no hard feelings there. You got to start somewhere, right?

I also read a lot of 'helper' sites about corresponding with/dating FSU women and wrote a really long Letter of Introduction. Being a slight cynic from experiences in my life (not all relating to woman, mostly in general I think), i contacted ALL the good looking profiles (and some actually contacted me first) and during the following month exchanged this introductory letter with at least 50 women/profiles, organizing everything in e-mail folders and maintained a correspondence journal with dates and everything....In parallel I did research a little about scammers and certainly took heed of the advice to never give any of them any money.

A few revealed themselves as scammer quite early by sending the same letters from different profiles and e-mail addresses. Then after having received around 20 responses I started to notice a common trait among the rest: NONE ever responded to ANYTHING I wrote in my first letter. All their content was about making a family together, love, life, her history, etc. My introductory letter contained a few questions and issues I would guess NO real woman would simply pass by without commenting her views on, nothing dirty or abnormal, only some choices I have made about my life that any woman choosing me should respect.

I started to become a little suspicious and wrote a follow-up letter to the introductory letter containing a lot of direct questions and issues that could not be left unnoticed. I even wrote a custom response section in each letter referencing at least a little piece of fact from one of her letters (I did receive more than one response from some of them due to the order in which the initial contact was made and some even wrote a letter without having received a response from me on her last letter) to make it a little personal. I hoped this would initiate a more personal type of correspondence.

Of the next 20-30 letters I received only a single one contained a reference to the first letter, but then of course I found her e-mail address in at least 4 scam reports, so that was it! I ended everything just a few days ago (on the last Friday evening after a few beers and in a pissed state over this) by asking each and one of them to prove their genuine intent (phrased as to me having become aware of the scam problem and by proving to me by sending me a picture that could not be doubted she would become the one I could trust).

From this I received a few angry responses (they broke contact with this e-mail) a few hurt ones (but still no willingness to prove anything) and one that actually sent a picture with her holding a white sheet of paper stating "Truls, I am serious", but the resolution on the text was coarser than the picture and quite obviously added by a photo manipulation application (nice touch though having a picture like that ready for the budding doubters). Although the initial paragraph in this letter was a direct response to my 'prove it'-letter, the rest was the same garbage. I then checked the e-mail address and found two scam reports with the same letters and pictures I had received earlier from her. Busted!

And now: totally quiet. I have not received a single e-mail from any of these in 4 days. Nice!

Afterthoughts: A few of the profiles I sent my initial letter to have never responded and as such could be genuine. I may never know. I guess I burnt that bridge by sending the 'prove it' letter prior to me having received any response. If so, I do not care anymore. I did a mental write-off of all profiles on these two sites regardless of how real they are. I simply cut my losses and moved on. EM is next (note since I initially wrote this story a few days ago: EM is working, but of course I'm getting turned down, but it's good to see the world working as one think it should again; I'm used to being turned down).

The nice thing is that (as a few other posters on this forum have said about their situation) is that I now know of RMP, I have read quite a few of the forum threads here and have even become more interested in FSU women and their culture. Strange effect, isn't it? I am even planning to learn Russian (basic stuff to start with) and go for a trip to Ukraine (easiest for someone from my country.....max 90 days without visa) this spring. Odessa maybe? Or Yalta? That is yet to be determined. I will go regardless of whether I hook up with someone I can meet there or not.

Thanks for the good community. I'll be here from time to time.....watching....listening....and writing once in a while.

Posted by: JamesB

Welcome to the forum.You will find many members here with similar experience who now have found good rw.

Dont give up and use the forum as a referense for any help or info you may need.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Hello Truls and welcome to the forum. Sounds like your reading and experience with writing e-mails has made you quite savvy in spotting the scammers!!! Many guys here began their search for a foreign bride because of a scammer so some good comes from them!

Try these sites also - www.freepersonals.ru and www.allsinglerussiangirls.com.

Good luck and don't give up ... I didn't!

Posted by: JamesB

I found Bride .ru good and it was free to put on pfofile.

Posted by: dagpop

There are women out there looking for a good man. Don't give up your search.

Posted by: derailed

Thanks for the replies guys. It helps when it feels like the whole world is only out to get you. No wonder some chooses to escape it and hide away.

Anyway, I took notice of the comment about my experiences in this matter relative to the often hard way others had to learn some of this and have decided to start a new thread about techniques in filtering scam. Let's say it's a more organized form of learning the basics about scamming and how it could be avoided without too much of an emotional risk.

If this would be welcomed (assuming it does not already exists though as I have not read everything here on RMP) I guess it would contain issues such as how our feelings let us steer towards scammers, basic signs of scammers prior to initial contact, content of correspondence, basic background checks and scam checking techniques, techniques on avoiding spam (as you may reveal you e-mail address), etc.

What do you think guys? Would this be of value? Maybe it can even become a sticky thread on the appropriate forum one day.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Yes derailed, many threads on this subject. Here is the latest, http://russianmeetingplace.com/foru...ead.php?t=17793. Please add any comments you have.

You need 3 posts before you can post in the regular forum or start a new thread.

Good luck and I'm looking forward to your posts.

Posted by: derailed

Thanks for the pointer. I will soon post my own 'checklist' in this thread as this will be my third post now. See you there.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Now that I read this thread again, it has to do with tips for a successful relationship and not scammers so to speak. But weeding out scammers is part of the process too, which wasn't covered, so feel free to post away!

Posted by: derailed

So maybe a new thread in the same forum purely about how to weed out the scammers as early (and discreet) as possible would be a welcome addition?

Posted by: JamesB

It would be interesting though i would say most of the guys here are pretty well informed here as its like a team effort.

Its funny how each relationship here seems to have been helped by numerous peoplem in the same situation.

Good luck with all your future posts.

Posted by: GoingToRussia

We also have an entire section devoted to scammers and scams. Here it is, http://www.russianmeetingplace.com/...isplay.php?f=86. You can start you own thread or continue with an existing thread.

Posted by: Moe123

Way to go Trul if you can see this. It looks like you are going with your gut feeling.

Posted by: Robson

Hello All,

Truls, I sincerely hope that your search is going better! I think that I have been lucky in avoiding scams. I started in November 2007 and have only run into one woman that was a scammer. I am sorry to read that you have had so many problems in such a short period of time.

I am actually going to Russia in a couple weeks. I have never flown before, know 10 words of Russian, and am expecting to do and say everything wrong! I am praying that this woman isn't a scammer. She has done everything right but it is difficult to have 100% trust. I find the search for a FSU woman difficult because I am always looking for a sign that I am being scammed. I find it hard not to be suspicious. I imagine that most men seaching for a FSU woman also experience the same feelings of doubt.

I do believe that it is worth it to overcome the tough times and indecision and keep searching. I came very close to stopping my search after my experience with a scammer. Like you, I am used to my experiences with women not working out well. Now I find myself worried that the woman I am going to visit could be the worst of them all. I have read as much information on scammers as I can find but do feel that at some point it can make me paranoid and that I will start looking for problems that do not exist. Regardless, every woman and every letter is a learning experience and can be an important step toward a goal. Good Luck with your search!

Posted by: Stirlitz

Never give up! You can only give up your intention to give up

Posted by: wellRead

>There are women out there looking for a good man. Don't give up your search.

can you elaborate pls...

Posted by: GoingToRussia

Quote:

Originally Posted by wellRead

>There are women out there looking for a good man. Don't give up your search.

can you elaborate pls...

I think they meant there are good women out there looking for a man ... all not scammers.

Posted by: dagpop

You nailed it G.

Posted by: Schjerbeck

Hey Truls....

Just wnted to say that it IS possible.... found my girlfriend on rbrides... and we are getting married in august... now having said this there is a LOT of scammers out there... and especially on rbrides.... but found a good webpage that gives away svammers : http://www.agencyscams.com
Hope you and everyone can use it