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are russian men looking for greencards
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Posted by: imightbeafool

my husband is russian and i am a US citizen. he has always been perfect to me, except for some letters i found that he wrote to his ex-girlfriend. the letters were written when he and i first started dating and about 5 months into our relationship. some of the letters said things like "i am working on my greencard." he overstayed his visit to america by 2 years. how else could he have been working on a green card?

Posted by: RomanticTX

Hi there,

You know, I tend to believe that people is good for the most part. But what you say is very disturbing.
I have many questions, you don't have to answer, but in order to make a good assesment it will be necessary.

How long have you been married? How long did you date? Is there any age difference?
Why does your husband keep communicating with his ex-gf? Can you tell if he has changed over the time with you?

In what part of the process are you? Has he received his permanent green card yet?
Remember, if both of you don't show up at the interview he wouldn't get his permanent visa.

By the way, I'm naturalized by marriage to a US citizen (now I am divorced) so I know about this process.

Posted by: imightbeafool

Quote:

Originally posted by RomanticTX
Hi there,

You know, I tend to believe that people is good for the most part. But what you say is very disturbing.
I have many questions, you don't have to answer, but in order to make a good assesment it will be necessary.

How long have you been married? 5 1/2 months How long did you date? 5 months Is there any age difference? i'm 27 he's 23
Why does your husband keep communicating with his ex-gf? they are just friends, he says, and she says the same. Can you tell if he has changed over the time with you?he has stopped writing love letters to her since we have been married, and it seems like he loves me now. but i wonder if he will stay after greencard.

In what part of the process are you? Has he received his permanent green card yet?no! we have to be married another 1 1/2 years before the interview.
Remember, if both of you don't show up at the interview he wouldn't get his permanent visa.

By the way, I'm naturalized by marriage to a US citizen (now I am divorced) so I know about this process.

if you are divorced, how long did you stay married after you get your citizrnship? thank you for responding.

Posted by: RomanticTX

Thanks for your answers.

Let me first answer to your question regarding citizenship. As you know, once you are a permanent resident you don't need to be married in order to become an american citizen. The difference is only in the time that you have to wait to apply for it. For instance, if you are still married to the same person, then you can apply for naturalization 3 years after you become a permanent resident; otherwise is 5 years.
I got divorced after 4 years of marriage, so I became citizen after my divorce.

Now with your answers, it seems to me that there may be something fishy:
Well, to be honest 5 months seem to be a very short time for dating (I dated my ex for 4 years).
He stopped writing love letters once you got married? Wow, he waited until he got married?
You are not so sure that he loves you?
Age difference is also a "negative" factor.
What does he thinks about children? Dos he want to have any or he wants to wait? That is also a good indicator.

It is hard to know if he loves you or not, but it is clear that getting a green card was one of the factors in geting married.

Posted by: imightbeafool

he says he wants children.

Posted by: Arnold

Don't have children with this guy before you figure out what his intentions towards you are.

Women always get stuck with the children!

When he leaves you finally, you can not just drop the kids off at the local animal shelter.

I mean, you sound like a pretty nice lady, you should not be afraid that you can't find someone else, who truely loves you.

I don't even know, if I would confront my partner about something like that, because I would always think that they are being unfaithful, even if they said they are faithful.

Of course, the decision is yours ... but this is really bad.

Do yourself a favor and dump the guy, in any case, he would not have kept the letters, if they do not mean anything to him,and if he had feelings for you, he would have come clean and told you about the other woman.

Naturally, he will tell you he wants kids, because this will keep you occupied, since you have to do all the work, it is said that most unfaithful man cheat on their pregnant wife, because they find her repulsive.

Just dump him and next time be more careful in establishing who your lover really is, because there should be no secrets in a relationship.

Sorry for having such strong opinions on the topic.

Best of luck for you no matter what you decide, Arnold

Posted by: imightbeafool

i think he has good intentions with me, but i guess i'll have to wait until he gets his greencard before i know for sure!
he is very loving to me, and i had some of his e-mails translated, and i was told that he tells his friends that he is happy with his marriage and it seems like he has good intentions...
i will wait until after he gets the greencard before i think about having children!!
for now, i'll try to give him the benefit of the doubt and love him, but at the same time i will protect myself by not opening any joint bank accounts or co-signing anything with him, and not having children.
i really love him and want our marriage to work out. i also would rather be safe than sorry.

Posted by: chris_holmes

Sounds quite fishy and unfair. However if you sweet the deal up by being extra nice and get him involved more into rlationship building things, learning dancing together, exercise together, ... to get him completely consumed and convinced that his future is best with you then it may tip the balance. Otherwise he might just have old flame with the ex and eventually find the way back to her. Men can be very selfish (only worry about themselves). No matter how much they love the ex, if the current situation is too comfortable, they just cannot get out. So their selfishness can be taken for a ride and directed toward devotion to your marriage.

Posted by: luckylass

Does anyone have a good story regarding passport marriages? I have been reading your posts but just had to drop in here and say that I personally know two couples who went through thois precedure to help each other on the understanding of that basis and wound up together for real after all. I know it is not the right way around things but proves it can work after all.

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