RW: Insecurities, uncertainties, etc, etc.... - Russian Ukrainian Belarus Travel Music Woman Dating News

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RW: Insecurities, uncertainties, etc, etc....
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Posted by: searcher

I have read that quite often many RW seem to be a bit insecure.

I seem to be experiencing that now.

i don't think its entirely insecurity as much of it has to do with the fact that they are in the process of making some big and important decisions.......

I was flooded with many questions by the woman I am soon to meet. Many of these issues I thought were resolved - issues about my kids and about my mentally ill ex-wife.

She had some difficulty understanding how I became involved with my ex-wife... it took much explaination.

She assumed that I had previous education in the area of psychology (as she had when she was in school) after realizing that we had different educations, it was no longer an issue.

BUT she has left me confused I must admit. She expresses her interest in me but it seems to be somewhat vague> Now, understand I know she hasn't met me yet so i don't expect anything major from her but I wonder if she takes me seriously or not....

She does seem to be interested in me but I noticed that after I asked questions about religious issues she posted a new profile.

I believe it was because she thought I might not be interested in her anymore but I assured her that I was still interested......

NOW the unusual thing that happened!!!!!

I had no intention of spying on her, I just sometimes use software translation to read web sites frequented by RW. I am interested in their opinions, point of view and their interest. I want to know more about them.

By accident I read a thread started by her, i didn't know it was her until one of the posters mentioned her by her real name and her location.

To summarize the post, she was curious about certain issue - could it possibly become a problem. She expressed that I was "pleasant to her" (this is by software translation).

I will be meeting her within the next 2 1/2 week, I hope she give me a better understanding of many things. I sure intend to ask many questions!!

Have any of you noticed insecurities or uncertainties?

I understand that many things go wrong there and that is why many women seemto be unsure that men are seriously interested in them.

She also told a story about an American man who visited her. This man immediately demanded sex and when she wouldn't comply, he told her about a woman he recently visited in Ukraine who was rather eager to have sex with him so she could come to the U.S. She said that after hearing this she could no longer deal with him.

This made me respect her more

Unfortunately, its men like that who make it more difficult for us who are honest and have good intentions....Its sad and makes me a bit irritated!

Posted by: Vyesna

I really don't recommend taking seriously anything you read by software translation. From what I've seen, it really doesn't get across the real meaning of what someone is trying to say.

The translation of you "being pleasant to her" is probably actually her saying that she likes you since literally, I like you is "you please me" or "you are pleasant to me" in Russian. So, you can see how you could easily misconstrue how something is translated electronically.

We actually just had a discussion about this on RWA not long ago-- you can electronically translate it, but I don't recomment it. They were discussing this article (which is in English):

http://www.russian-woman.org/russia...q.htm#different

Posted by: ulughbek

Searcher,

You are not very clear about the specific issues involved (I'm not prying into private matters, but it does mean I may be completely off base in my post).

But, yes, your woman is likely to have uncertainties. She will have experienced or heard of cases like the one you described. She will have experienced or heard of cases where someone writes and never shows up, or someone completely misrepresents themselves in their e-mails. She has never met you before! Unless she has become insulting or completely indifferent to you, I think you best bet is to meet with her to show her that her insecurities are unfounded (assuming you still want to meet with her).

In my case, even though I had met my fiancee before, she did not completely believe what I was writing to her until I met with her in person again. I think this is the natural flip side to Westerners worrying about scammers.

Posted by: searcher

Oh, I absolutely intend to see her

I wouldn't miss that opportunity for the world!

I have my tickets, etc.... I'm going!!!!

Posted by: Arnold

Hello Searcher,

personally, I don't think you have anything to worry about. You and your girlfriend seem to be a great match.

I hope, you will not think that I am trying to make fun of you, but when I was reading your post I had to laugh out loud at two specific instances. The first time when you were referring to your ex-wife as being "psychotic", and the second time when you were telling about the "eager American".

I was laughing, because I was trying to imagine these characters and their insane behavior. So I was laughing with you, instead of about you.

In any case, I think both these stories prove, that the two of you have more in common than you are aware of. You both had to deal with weirdos and got away somewhat unscathed. That's a good thing, because it will help you guys to overcome relationship related issues more easily.

You asked for advise in regard to RW's insecurities. I think that if a woman appears insecure, you probably can rule out that she is trying to scam you, because a scammer in fact is a psychopath and therefore lacks emotions.

You sounded in your post a little insecure yourself. This is based on what you hinted about your personal history with your ex-wife understandable though.

I think the danger lies in giving in to your own fears and worries in regard to where your relationship is going at this point in time. By dangerous, I mean, that if you discuss your worries with her prematurely, you might inadvertantly start some sort of a chain reaction, causing you guys to feed off of one another's relationship insecureties.

For right now, it is probably best to reassure her that you will be arriving soon (and I hope you will enjoy the trip). As Vyesna has pointed out the language translation programs are far from perfect, so don't let doubt creep into your mind by using such an unreliable resource. It is not worth it.

Soon you will be with your Sweetie, and probably both of you will find out that all your worries were unfounded.

Good luck to you and best wishes, Arnold

Posted by: searcher

Thanks everyone!

I guess I have been worried because she had been really grilling me with questions on ICQ.

fter I answered many of them she relaxed a bit and stated that she understood.

It had me concerned as I began to wonder if she was questioning my sincerity and honesty.

Unfortunately, she and her daughter are at a resort (sanitorium) until two days before I arrive.

I hope I answered all of her questions to her satisfaction.....

Posted by: andrei

People dont worry about Mark, it's his first trip to the other side of the globe, so you know he's worried about everything.

But I gotta say he's in a privileged position. Because unlike other AM that have a contact with a RW, he has a source that helps him clear everything up, and that's me. I met that girl personally and she's NOT a scammer. I've seen that post on the forum and it says "I like him". I talked to her 3 days ago and she said "Take me to the airport, we gotta meet Mark and show him the best of us, and I dont even need no flowers".

Im telling yall she's OK and we're gonna sort everything up.

Posted by: ConnerVT

You're right, Andrei. I'm sure it's pre-trip stress. Be sure to bring a few beers with you for him to drink.

I've been subjected to several of those grillings. I wrote about one of them in the Proposals thread. On my last day of that trip, we had dinner at my fiancee's home. Mama said she had thought of many more questions for me. Not wishing to go through another round of interrogation, I jokingly said that she had her chance to grill me, and gave me her approval. Today, we are going to celebrate my last day in Russia on that trip. We all had a good time, and I didn't get grilled (to much, anyway...

)

All but the most shy Russian women I have met are much more direct than many people from the US are accustomed too. I am unsure if it's a difference based in attitude or language. But certainly do not worry about it, Searcher. It goes with the territory of learning about your Russian friend.

Posted by: searcher

Quote:

Originally posted by ConnerVT
You're right, Andrei. I'm sure it's pre-trip stress. Be sure to bring a few beers with you for him to drink.

BEER!!!!!

Forget that, what have ya got in the dental office

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just kidding!

Posted by: ConnerVT

I would of suggested he bring some 60% home brew vodka, but I thought he is more of a beer drinker...

(BTW, tonight I might break open the bottle of home brew I brought back from my last trip.

)

Posted by: searcher

Quote:

Originally posted by Arnold

I was laughing, because I was trying to imagine these characters and their insane behavior. So I was laughing with you, instead of about you.

Yeah, they both a quite some characters

....maybe I should try to hook them up!!!!!!!!!!